Battle Scars
by TwilightWorshipper14
Summary: FULL SUMMARY INSIDE!Pazia has grown up in Erudite. That is where her father is...that is where her past is. But that doesn't matter, what matters is where her future is. Pazia thought for sure, 100% she was going to stay in Erudite...her aptitude test told her differently. Then she has to choose. Will she stay? Will she leave?2 years before Tris. Eric/OC
1. Chapter 1 - Paz

**Summary: **Pazia has grown up in Erudite. That is where her father is...that is where her past is. But that doesn't matter, what matters is where her future is. Pazia thought for sure, 100% she was going to stay in Erudite...her aptitude test told her differently. Then she has to choose. Will she stay? Will she leave? Erudite is cold and clinical and Dauntless? Well, the only way to describe Dauntless is wild and fierce, like a raging fire that cannot be stopped. Pazia made her choice, and now she has left the ice and jumped straight into the fire. The only thing now to do...is be free.

A/N: All outfits are on my profile. This story is set after Four and Eric became Dauntless but the year before Tris became Dauntless.

A/N: Disclaimer: I don't own the Divergent world. I only own Pazia. (Pronounced: Pah-ze-ah.)

_Rating: M_

_Word Count: 6, 062_

Reviews are always appreciated!

This is an edited and joined version of what were previously Chapters 1 and 2. I have added details and taken away small things. I delved deeper into my character, added better descriptions and added a few things. I would advise reading this as the things that have been changed/added are important.

Don't be a scared little Abnegation! I expect a fearless Dauntless review!

**Chapter One**

* * *

I take a deep breath and smooth down my royal blue pencil skirt as I stare at myself in the mirror.

I run my eyes over my deep, dark blue eyes, my straight nose, my average lips and focus on my midnight black hair. It is such a dark black, like ink. On good days it will be silky and in the light a blue sheen emerges. On a bad day...well we all have those days. I doubt I need to say anymore.

Today is the day.

I have to go take my aptitude test. Right now I belong to the Erudite faction, but this test is designed to see if I will stay here. I nod at my reflection and notice my hair doesn't budge from the professionally done sophisticated up-do. I did it myself. When I was 5, my mother died. I didn't have anyone to teach me so I taught myself.

I turn and leave. I go downstairs and my father is sitting in a chair reading a book. He barely glances up at me before his attention is once again captured by what he is reading. I don't let it bother me. Why should I? This is the normal for Erudite. I get a plate of pancakes and sit down. I reach into my bag and pull out a book of my own.

I finish my food and grab my bag. I head to the door but my father's voice stops me.

"Good luck today, Pazia." He reaches out to hug me but I cannot hide my flinch. He slowly pulls back, a hurt look on his face. My father has a horrible personality when he gets tired after researching all the time. Sometimes he takes his anger out on me. He always apologizes after but I can't let myself believe him. One time is all it took for me to loose all of my trust for him. As a result, I don't have much trust for anyone else.

If you cannot trust the person that takes care of you, how are you to trust anyone else?

I give my father a nod before I turn and leave. I keep a calm look on my face but on the inside I am raging and crying. In Erudite, emotions are frowned on. I had to learn how to be strong. Even more so when my best friend left. He is a year older than me. He used to be in Amity before he transferred to Dauntless last year.

Jethro was my best and only friend. I called him Jett. A part of me wonders if he even remembers me. I haven't seen him since he was racing out the door with the other Dauntless. I robotically climb onto the bus as I remember Jett.

He was tall and when we were younger I called him Bean Pole. He hated it. He had black hair and eyes so dark they were almost black. I miss him so much sometimes. I have thought about going to Dauntless just so I could see him again, but I know that I belong in Erudite. I am smart and detached from the world. I am no Amity. I don't believe in peace and I am not very happy go lucky.

I can be selfless but often times I look at the world as a give and take world. Unfortunately there are more that take than give, myself being one of them. I could go to Candor. Or maybe not. I don't talk a lot and when I do it is usually to lie. _(How are you doing? - Perfectly fine, thank you.)_

If I started telling the truth, I don't think very many people would like me.

That leaves Dauntless. The dauntless are wild, fierce and have a 'fuck with me and I fuck with you,' attitude that I cannot help but admire. They are loud, crazy and loyal to one another. They remind me of Amity in an ironic way.

Amity is all about loving and loyalty. Dauntless is about doing what you want. I can see the similarities between the two. It reminds me of the yin-yang symbol. The black symbolizing the Yin energy, while the white symbolizes the Yang energy. Yin is the passive energy of silence, slow and relaxed movements, and deep darkness, and is the predominant energy of sleep, resting, relaxing and replenishing. Yang is the active energy and is symbolized by bright lights, strong sounds and bright colors. It is the prominent energy for such times as working in a busy office or enjoying a good party.

They are the opposite sides of the same coin. Amity brings peace through love and Dauntless brings peace through violence. The contrast has fascinated me ever since I was a little girl.

"Excuse me?" I look up to see an Abnegation girl standing in front of me. She is average height, light brown hair and strong dark eyes.

"Yes?" I ask, forcing my voice to come off as cool and detached; clinical.

"Are you going to have your aptitude test today?" I look sharply at her. Abnegation is not for the curious.

"I am, and I am guessing you still have a year or two to go. If you want my advice, stifle your curiosity until you are able to get out of Abnegation and into Erudite. Or just learn how to hide it better." She stares at me bewildered and I raise an eyebrow. She flushes and holds out her hand.

"My name is Beatrice, what's yours?" I look at her hand before slowly grasping it. It is unusual for Abnegation to be so comfortable with human contact. They usual hold themselves apart from things like this.

"Pazia. Good luck on keeping your secret a secret." She smiles and waves as I get off of the bus and walk briskly into the Hub. I join the other 16 year-olds that are waiting for their tests. It turns out I got here early so I pull out a book and start to read. I occasionally make notes. I get so drawn into my book, I jump when my name is called.

"Pazia Reynolds?" A Candor lady calls for me. I hastily put away my book and walk calmly into the room. I slow down when I reach it.

The walls are lined with mirrors and I glance at my reflection. My dark blue eyes are detached, only a small hint of curiosity_ (are these two way mirrors or just that, mirrors?)_ showing before I am moving to the large metal chair in the center of the room. I sit in it and lay back, shivering a little as the cool metal bites into my skin. She attaches the nodes to my head and hands me a small glass with blue liquid in it.

I look at it before I take it and swallow it in one gulp. The Candor lady takes the glass from me with an amused look on her face.

"You look like you have had practice." I don't bother to answer her remark about my skill in drinking. Candor are honest to a fault, sometimes even brutally so. Instead of responding, I just close my eyes and wait for the test to begin. I wait and wait before I open my eyes, frustrated. I have a hard time controlling my shock.

The Candor lady is gone. Instead, there is two bowls. In one bowl, there is berries that I recognize as poison nightshade and in the other is a first aid kit.

I look at the two unable to decide which one to pick. I reach out and pick up both at the same time. The room melts away and I am in an infirmary. I hate these rooms, they always creep me out. I walk down the hall and all the doors fade until one remains. I reach out to open it and notice my hand is trembling. I clench it into a fist and when I open the door, there is no more tremors.

Inside, there is an injured lady laying in bed. Now I understand why I have the first aid kit. I walk over to her and she opens her eyes.

"Where am I? Is he okay?" I sit down beside her.

"Is who okay?" I ask calmly and she pales.

"My son. He...fell down and got hurt." My heart hardens and ice spreads through my veins. That was always the excuse my father used when he lost control and hurt me. I look at the berries but my Erudite brain tells me to get the whole story first. I start to bandage her ask I ask her about her son.

"How old is he?" She flinches and it isn't because I was too harsh. As a Erudite, I am practiced at controlling myself and my emotions.

"He is 5." I freeze. I was 5 the day I lost my mother. That was also the day father finally lost control. I force myself to keep working. I need the whole story. I need the whole story. I need the whole story. No matter how much I chant that to myself, I get the urge to feed her the berries. I wonder what that urge falls to? Stupid Erudite brain. Always curious.

"So what happened to him to cause him to fall?" The lady's lip wobble and a tear rolls down her face.

"I didn't mean to!" She cries out. "He wasn't supposed to fall down the stairs!" She bursts out crying and I shut my feelings down.

"It's okay." I smile comfortingly at her and she sniffles as I reach my decision. I crush the berries and mix them with a cup of water. The water turns a bright red and I hand it to her.

"What is this?" She asks, slowly taking the cup.

"It will help with the pain." I tell her, the flawless lie slipping smoothly off my tongue and she nods.

"Thank you." I watch coldly as she swallows the poison and chokes. Foam fizzes at her mouth and a look of betrayal fixes itself on her face before the room fades away. I stand up.

I am in wheat field. Once again there is two bowls. In one bowl is a bow and arrow, in the other is a paper. I pick up both again. The second I do, a giant boar burst out of the field and charges toward me. I look at the paper and read the words.

"I am not an enemy, I am a friend." The boar calms down and snuffles at me. This large animal is calm now but I spot the barb sticking out of its side. I could take it out and risk having myself killed or eliminate the threat. The answer is obvious.

I have always been a survivor. I smile gently before raising my bow. Despite never having picked one up before, I miraculously seem to be able to use it and proceed in shooting the boar. It collapses with a grunt and the room fades. I briefly wonder what that action fit into. Dauntless? Erudite? Or both?

I am outside and there is a factionless standing in front of me. His worn and patched clothing is gray from the dirt and he looks starved. He looks like he tried to shave and failed spectacularly, splotches of blood staining the patchy shave. He reaches out pleadingly.

"Do you have any food for me? Please. My family and I haven't eaten in two days." I shake my head, the bag on my shoulder giving lie to my gesture. Somehow, I know the bag is filled with food but I get a horrible feeling when the man asks me for the food. I may need the food. I am a survivor. I can't give it away.

"Please!" He calls out. "Can you tell me where to get food?" I hesitate, wanting to tell but a bad feeling makes me shake my head and walk away.

* * *

When I open my eyes, the Candor lady is gone and instead there is an Abnegation lady. She smiles softly at me and unhooks the nodes from my head.

"Congratulations. You are Dauntless." I stare at her with shock. I thought for sure- I cut myself off. In Dauntless, curiosity is looked down upon.

"Are you sure?" My voice cracks and I clear it, unwilling to show a weakness. "I am not Erudite?" I ask, fear and_ (strangely)_ hope blooming in my chest. She pauses, a strange look on her face.

"The aptitude test never lies." She murmurs and sends me out the door. I leave in a daze. I tune out the Amity kids playing games, the Dauntless hooting and hollering, the Erudite reading, the Candor debating and the Abnegation just sitting. I walk out the door and the air wakes me up. Slowly, a smile spreads across my face. I can go to Dauntless. I don't have to live in fear of my father.

That means I can finally be free.

**XXX**

Three days late, I walk into the Hub and take a seat beside where my father will sit in the Erudite section. I look around for him before shaking my head and turning to the front. This year an Amity leader is giving the speech. For as long as I can remember the speech has always been the same.

"Welcome-" He greets us warmly, a content glimmer in his eyes. "Welcome to the Choosing Ceremony. Welcome to the day we honor the democratic philosophy of our ancestors, which tells us that every man has the right to choose his own way in this world. Our dependents are now sixteen. They stand on the precipice of adulthood, and it is now up to them to decide what kind of people they will be. Decades ago our ancestors realized that it is not political ideology, religious belief, race, or nationalism that is to blame for a warring world. Rather, they determined that it was the fault of human personality—of humankind's inclination toward evil, in whatever form that is. "

I have to suppress my urge to roll my eyes. I have done extensive research into our history and I know that is a weak excuse. No matter the age, era or place, humanities evil will always show. It is a weed that we can never be rid of and it will slowly choke us to death. In the end, evil will always out. This is something I know intimately.

"They divided into factions that sought to eradicate those qualities they believed responsible for the world's disarray. Those who blamed aggression formed Amity. Those who blamed ignorance became the Erudite. Those who blamed duplicity created Candor. Those who blamed selfishness made Abnegation. And those who blamed cowardice were the Dauntless. Working together, these five factions have lived in peace for many years, each contributing to a different sector of society. Abnegation has fulfilled our need for selfless leaders in government; Candor has provided us with trustworthy and sound leaders in law; Erudite has supplied us with intelligent teachers and researchers; Amity has given us understanding counselors and caretakers; and Dauntless provides us with protection from threats both within and without. But the reach of each faction is not limited to these areas. We give one another far more than can be adequately summarized. In our factions, we find meaning, we find purpose, we find life. Apart from them, we would not survive. Therefore this day marks a happy occasion—the day on which we receive our new initiates, who will work with us toward a better society and a better world."

I numbly get up to join the other initiates as he finishes his speech. We get called up in alphabetical order. There are a lot of us this year.

"Smith, Abigail." I allow myself to tune out as they file up there one by one. Until-

"Reynolds, Pazia." I roll my eyes as he pronounces my name Pay-zia instead of Pah-zia. He hands me a silver knife and and stare down at it. I will have slice my palm. I do so with a slight hiss of pain before I turn to the bowls. My Erudite shows in the way I analyze each choice.

There is a bowl with soft, rich looking soil that is for Amity. I shake my head and move on. I am not peaceful and loving. Because of my past, I am cold and closed off. Perfect for Erudite.

There is a bowl of glass for Candor. I don't bother shaking my head. Because of my father, I am well versed in the art of lying and manipulation. Again, perfect for Erudite. I smile a little bitterly, knowing I am trying to persuade myself into choosing my home faction.

The bowl for Abnegation holds grey rocks. I am not selfless. The simulation proved that beyond anything I could have said. I am a survivor. I will do what it takes to survive and if that means sacrificing another, then I will do it.

I turn to the last two bowls.

The bowl for Erudite holds clear water and the bowl for Dauntless holds fiery coals. I hesitate, the dagger stinging my palm. I don't bother looking up as the five factions start to mummer and shift in their seats. This is the third longest Choosing there has ever been. I know. I looked it up in a fit of curiosity when I was 7. 2 more minutes and this will be the second longest Choosing. The clock slowly counts down in my head and I don't know which to choose.

Erudite.

Or Dauntless.

One will hold me captive.

And one will set me free.

Behind me a door slams open and I turn around.

It is my father. His gaze is pleading as he reaches out a hand. The murmuring crowd grows louder but I tune them out. He looks so sad and he takes a step forward. I immediately flinch before freezing and holding myself still. In that moment, it is what pushes me over the edge.

I don't want to be scared.

Not anymore.

With a defiant glare, I thrust my hand over the coals and a look of defeat crosses his face. His whole body sags and I feel numb. I must be Dauntless. I have shown bravery in the face of fear. I nod one last time to my father, the cold good-bye having an air of finality to it.

I hand the knife back to the bewildered man before dismissing my father from my gaze. I walk over to the Dauntless faction and they greet me with cheers and hollers and I feel a reserved smile spreading across my face. I sit down and wait for the rest of the initiates to choose where they go. I zone out and startle as the Dauntless start moving. I hastily get up and follow them. They speed up and start racing each other down the stairs.

I start to follow before stopping. I need to get something. I go to a small side room and quickly slip on an Abnegation dress. It is loose and boxy. The small package tied to the inside swings gently and I press a soft hand to it. Abnegation clothing will help me sneak the package in, unlike my close fitting Erudite pencil skirt and blouse. I kick off my Erudite heels and slip on a pair of Abnegation flats. That done, I head down the hall and take a short cut. I burst out the door at the same time the rest of them do.

I look around and see the sheer glee on their faces and a pang of longing hits me. I have no clear explanation why I did what I did next other than a need to be that free. I open my mouth and shout with them, a wild feeling welling up inside me. A wide grin spread across my face and I whoop with breathless exhilaration as we race to the train tracks. I pause for a moment as the Dauntless swing up effortlessly.

With a grin, I follow. The pain from the cut in my hand doesn't even register, that is how high my pain threshold is. I guess not everything my father did was pointless.

I reach the top and a hand waves at me to help. I watch for a second before grabbing the hand and hauling the girl up.

"Thanks!" She says breathlessly and I give her Amity garb a brief glance before turning away as I feel the vibration of the train under my feet. A circle of light slowly grows brighter as the train barrels towards us at high speeds.

The Dauntless born start to whoop with excitement and glee as they take off running before the train reaches us. My eyes widen before I throw my curiosity _(at what age did they learn to do this?)_ to the wind and race after them. My muscles stretch and release in a way that I have never experienced but I feel I could get addicted to.

My breath comes faster but I refuse to fall behind as I stubbornly stick to the Dauntless born initiates heels. Suddenly, the rumbling roar grows louder and the train roars past me. I falter a second before running faster than before. Ahead, I see the Dauntless swinging into the train effortlessly and I analyze them.

There is a handle sticking out of the side of the the train. They run, jump, grab the handle and use their own momentum to swing their bodies into the train. I nod mentally, I can do that. A Dauntless initiate sticks their head out the train and whoops before turning his head. His laughter cuts off abruptly as his eyes widen at the sight of me. He ducks inside before popping back out, more colored heads accompanying him. They laugh in shock, cheering me on. I race faster, ignoring the helping hands they give.

I will do this on my own.

I take a deep breath and jump, grabbing the handle (ignoring the cut on my hand: _what sorts of diseases can someone get from exposing a cut to rusty metal?_) and swinging myself inside. I slam into the first boy, tumbling the ground in a tangle of limbs. I quickly pull back, holding myself away from them. I look around. Aside from the five initiates, there is more full Dauntless members. They watch me with surprise before the initiate I landed on steps forward. He runs a hand through his slightly long blond and blue-tipped hair, his brown eyes warmly amused.

"I thought we only got two Stiffs?" He asks and I watch him for a second. He raises an eyebrow in challenge, the other Dauntless watching us. I nod stiffly and raise my skirt. Underneath are my Erudite clothes. I make sure to lift up the small bag and hide it in the folds of the dress.

"You did." I respond and there is a pause before he grins and holds out his hand. The full Dauntless snicker approvingly among themselves but I focus on my fellow initiate.

"Brave, very brave. My name is Alezander. Introduce yourself." I take his hand and shake it. He grins, slinging an arm over my shoulder and pointing at the others. I stiffen, a not-that-old fear rearing its ugly head but I stubbornly tamp it down.

"My name is Pazia." I tell them and I sit down, using that as an excuse to duck out from under Alezander- jeez, what a long name- and lean against the door. Alezander sits down beside me, his brown eyes alight with the happiness of living dangerously.

"I'm Josh." Another guy with purple and brown hair with green eyes introduces himself. He looks well muscled but there is a sweeter air about him.

"I'm Sasha." A girl with pink streaks in her hair introduces herself. Unlike Josh, she seems hard as nails and I approve. I smile brighter at her, a feeling of kinship stirring in me.

"Izzy." I nod at the blonde and black head girl. She seems a bit more closed off but there is a resemblance to Josh in her green eyes.

"And last, I am Dean." I smile at the green and black headed guy. His grey eyes glint mischievously and I can tell he is the prankster of the group.

"Nice to meet you guys." I politely tell them, remembering my upbringing. Izzy snorts and I look challengingly at her. She eyes me before approval lights up her eyes and she smiles.

"Not to be mean or anything-" She drawls, clearly not caring. "-but you are too polite. You are gonna stick out like a sore thumb." She tells me, the casual way she is leaning against Josh re-affirming my thoughts of a sibling connection. I roll my eyes, before flinching a little. It used to be I would get punished for showing a sign of 'disrespect,' but here it gains me approval.

"I would stick out like a sore thumb anyways. What's it to you?" I snap rudely before smiling coldly. "How was that? Better or still too polite?" The tilt of my head suggests arrogance and she laughs, full and loud. I stare in fascination for a second, never having heard anyone laugh like their whole heart and soul is in it. I look away, a tight feeling in my throat as I wish I could one day laugh like that.

"Nope, it was great. I think you just might fit in." Feeling brash and bold, I clutch my chest. I widen my dark blue eyes with mock-shock and stare at her.

"Oh no! A compliment from a Dauntless?!" I pretend to fall over and the resulting burst of laughter, not only from these five but the full Dauntless members watching, warms me. I watch them laugh and feel myself thawing, just a little.

"So why'd you transfer out?" Alezander asks and my face hardens. In a second, my guards slam back down and I am a closed off Erudite once more.

"Does it matter?" I ask coldly, meeting their gazes head on in a bizarre mix of Erudite and Dauntless. They exchange shocked glances before turning back to me.

"Yeah." Sasha meets my gaze head on, her steel shining through and I nod slowly. Dauntless is not like Erudite. Dauntless _cannot be_ like Erudite. I take a deep breath and decide to share my biggest secret.

"Alright. You know those articles that are printed about Marcus abusing his son?" They share bewildered glances but a Dauntless member stiffens. I scan him quickly but he doesn't seem like the type to be abused so I rule that out and settle on the next option. He must know someone who was abused. He is sitting but he looks to be average height, he has dark skin and long hair that is in a knot on the back of his head. He has dark brown eyes and is really muscled, like the rest of Dauntless. And if I had to guess, I would say he was around 20 years old. I will have to keep an eye on him.

"What about Marcus?" Dean asks, and I turn back to them.

"He wasn't the only one." I state simply and pull my shirt up a little, revealing the smallest bit of my stomach and pulling my skirt away from my skin a little. There is a small scar on my hip, only about four inches long and it is thin but two years later it is still an angry red. After he hurt me bad enough, that was the last time he ever scarred me. But bruises hurt just as bad. There is a horrified silence as I drop my shirt. I smile bitterly, a sad edge to it. "As you can see, I already have my battle scars." They exchange glances and I huff. "I don't want your pity." I snap angrily. "What I want is empathy and I can't get that here, then all I want is for you guys to fuck off!" I snarl and that does it.

Looks of respect are coming from all around as Josh snickers.

"I wonder why you didn't go to Candor, Miss Honest." He snickers and I roll my eyes twisting my lips at him.

"So, who wants to make a deal?" Dean asks, and we all turn to him. Once again, my Erudite rears its head as I look at him with curiosity. The other initiates are watching him but with careless grins and casual grace. One day I will be like that. Strong. Confident. A panther, content in my strength and power.

"What kind of deal?" I ask, eyeing them warily and Alezander chucks me under my chin playfully.

"Careful, your Erudite is showing." He teases before turning to his friend. "Spill man!" Alezander exclaims and Dean grins and looks at all of us.

"Let's make it a goal for the 6 of us to make it to the end. We protect each other, help each other and then after we are officially Dauntless, we come into this train car and ride it together. Who's with me?" He holds out his fist and they slap it with their hands. They turn and look at me. I hesitate. It is hard for me to trust but that was then and this is now. Determined, I slap his fist too.

"I have to warn you guys, I don't know how much help to you I am going to be." Alezander smirks and shakes his head, tossing an arm over my shoulder.

"We will still help you. Agreed?" He looks around and they all nod in agreement. I smile and settle down as we ride the train. Content that I made the right choice.

* * *

"Alright! We are close!" Josh shout and we all get up. He slaps the panel and the train door slides open. Ahead, I can see a building. A faint smile curls on my lips. I always have had destructive tendencies. At least now I can exercise them and not be looked at like I am crazy.

"Let me guess, we have to jump off the train." I state dryly and they snicker. Anticipation lights up their eyes as they all crowds around the door.

"Don't worry, I will go first." Alezander tells me and I nod, unconcerned. Excitement is unfurling in my belly and lighting my blood on fire.

"Let's do a 3 person jump off." Josh says with a grin and I look at him confused.

"What's that?"

"That is where 3 of us hold hands and jump off at the same time." My eyes widen and an unbidden smile crosses my lips. I definitely won't be looked at like I am crazy here. My laugh is torn away from me by the wind. I grab Sasha and Izzy's hands, their matching excitement spurring me to new heights.

"What about me?" Alezander asks, pouting a little and I shrug.

"You said you would go first." I remind him and I smirk as he huffs and Izzy laughs. The building comes up and Zander takes a flying leap. Seconds later, Josh, Dean and and the other Dauntless jump. I look at the girls and we launch ourselves out. We hang in the air for the longest moment and I whoop before colliding with Zander as we fall to the ground.

"Oops." I roll over and smile at the laughter and heckling the others are giving him. I sit up and laugh with them, loving the acceptance I am getting as they ruffle my hair, lifting me to my feet and slapping my shoulder.

"Oops?" He asks incredulously, holding out a hand for me. "I think you broke my freakin' rib!" I snicker at him before adopting an innocent look as I help haul him to his feet.

"If it makes you feel any better,_ I_ am not hurt at all." Izzy, Sasha, Josh, Dean and I break out laughing at his offended face. He shakes his head as we walk over to the rest of the group but I can tell he isn't really angry when he slings an arm over my shoulder.

"You always were a sloppy jumper!" Dean jokes and they shove back and forth, wrestling each other into headlocks. I look at the girls, and we start laughing again as we join the group. The issue resolved, the two boys join us as we fall silent and look up at the man. He looks to be older, is tall, has dark skin and confident eyes. It is the man from the train.

"Alright! Listen up, initiates!" He points over the side of the building. "I am Amar. Several stories below us is the members' entrance to our compound. If you can't muster the will to jump off, you don't belong here. Our initiates have the privilege of going first. Who is brave enough to be the first to join Dauntless?" He asks with a mocking grin.

"Holy shit." I mutter with shock and Sasha snickers. Izzy looks pale and Josh squeezes her hand.

"There must be something at the bottom?" A Candor boy calls in disbelief. The man gives him a disdainful glance.

"Are you volunteering to jump first?" The boy pales and backs away. I bite my lip and raise my head. I can do this. I have never been afraid of heights. Only of falling with nothing there to catch me. My Erudite brain tells me though, there must be something at the bottom. This isn't just a test of bravery.

It is a test of trust.

I walk forward and without pausing, turn so I am facing the group. I smirk, flash a thumbs up and launch myself off backwards. I let out a whoop as I fall faster and faster and another whoop of pure exhilaration is torn out of me. I hit something that molds itself around me. It is a net. I laugh and lay there, adrenaline rushing through me. Someone tugs on the net and I take the hint, rolling to the side.

"That was awesome! When can I do it again?" I ask, bouncing on the heels of my feet. That jump has lowered all boundaries and made me feel...amazing and free. The guy looks faintly amused. He has dark brown hair and deep blue eyes set in a masculine and sensual face. His build is lean but I can clearly see the muscles rippling in his arms.

"What is your name?" He asks. I open my mouth but shut it again, hesitation rippling through me. Understanding shoots through his eyes and he leans in. "You can choose whatever name you want. It will be the last time though, so choose wisely." I nod, pondering it. I like my name but it signifies the smaller, weaker side of myself. I want a name that sounds bold and yes- even arrogant. I remember the fond nick-name Jett gave me and a small smile crosses my face.

"Paz-" I hesitate before nodding firmly, rolling the name in my mouth and approving. "My name is Paz." The guys looks at me before turning and shouting: "First Jumper - Paz!" There is cheering and whooping erupting from the gathered Dauntless. Breathless, I walk to the side and wait. The next jumper is Zander.

"Four." He nods at the guy before grinning at me.

"How's it going, little 'Zia?" He asks and tosses an arm over my shoulder. I roll my eyes and nudge him with my shoulder.

"First, it's Paz now and I'm fine, Second Jumper Zander." I taunt and he barks out a laugh as we watch the next jumper. It is Sasha.

"Sup guys?" She calls, strutting over to us. I laugh and bump fists with her.

"I am finally doing just perfect!" I tell them as I grin, truly meaning the words.

"Welcome to Dauntless!" Zander says grandly and I laugh, finally feeling weightless and free.


	2. Chapter 2 - Dauntless

A/N: Disclaimer: I don't own the Divergent world. I only own Pazia. (Pronounced: Pah-ze-ah.) All outfits are on my profile. This story is set after Four and Eric became Dauntless but the year before Tris became Dauntless.

**_Rating:_** _M_

**_Word_**_** Count:** 8, 033_

Dauntless reviews are always appreciated!

This was previously chapters 3 and 4.

Battle Scars Honorary Mentions Ch 3 - I would just like to send a thank you to insolitasum, Beppa, and Ashes2Dust18! My first three followers! (Also, insolitasum was my first review! Keep them coming guys!;)

Battle Scars Honorary Mentions Ch 4 - I would just like to send a thank you to chivini, Dauntlessgirl347, ljustiniano29, babybear1994, bL00D pRINC3SS, BookLover695, Chezzalinda, and DayDreamingFantasy.

**Chapter Two**

* * *

_**Previously on Battle Scars:**_

_I don't want to be scared._

_Not anymore._

_With a defiant glare, I thrust my hand over the coals and a look of defeat crosses his face._

_..._

_"First Jumper - Paz!" There is cheering and whooping and breathless, I walk to the side._

_..._

_"Welcome to Dauntless!" Zander says grandly and I laugh, finally feeling weightless and free._

* * *

After all of us have jumped, Four walks over to us.

Once again, I notice the self-confident grace Dauntless walk with. I move my gaze past him and tilt my head. Four has someone with him, flanking him on the right. While Four has a reserved strength about him, this male does not. He is raw power, strength and masculinity. He is tall and unlike Four, is all muscle. His broad shoulders ripple with muscles and his pecs are huge. He seems to be made of pure muscle and he carries an air of menace with him. He has blonde hair that is shaved on the sides, creating a Mohawk that is slicked down. He has cold blue-grey eyes. Two piercings over his right eyebrow, black gauge earrings and block tattoos on either side of his neck that disappear down the collar of his tight black shirt.

He has a sleeveless black vest over it with black pants tucked into black combat boots. I catch the glint of metal and realize he has a gun strapped to his leg and daggers strapped to the other leg. He crosses his arms as he comes to a stop and my attention is drawn to his huge arms again as the muscles flex under his long sleeved black shirt.

"Alright, I want all of you to listen up." Four says, his stance clearly telling us not to fuck with him. I transfer my attention to his lean frame, which strangely doesn't look inferior next to the other male. "I am Four, your new instructor. This is Eric. He is one of our Dauntless leaders. He will be overseeing as you are getting trained." Right now, he looks bored with these proceedings. A tough but feminine looking lady walks up. She has long dark hair, a pierced eyebrow, a lip piercing and her ear is pierced from top to bottom. I can't help but wonder if this fuck off attitude is something we will be learning. Shut up Erudite.

"This is Lauren, she will be training the Dauntless born initiates. Those of you that are Dauntless born, report to Lauren now. She will take you to your quarters. The rest of you will follow us." I frown and look at Zander, Izzy, Josh, Dean and Sasha. They look a little let down, too. I roll my eyes but a smile surfaces.

"We should have guessed something like this would happen, right guys?" I tell them, calculatingly; Erudite shining through for a moment and Zander shrugs.

"We still keep our pledge right?" He asks, looking around at each of us. They nod resolutely and I nod back.

"Hell yeah!" Sasha exclaims. I laugh and squeak as she pulls me into a hug before quickly backing away with a blush. I smile happily at her and wave as they cross the room.

"See you guys soon." I call and Zander whirls around, jogging back over.

"We will be kept separate during training so just remember, you are stronger and braver than these other transfers could ever hope to be." He whispers, chucking me under my chin and wrapping me in a bear hug. Laughing, I squirm away, shoving his shoulder. "Later babe!" He shouts, and winks as he jogs back to his group.

"You are such an ass!" I shout after him, prompting a burst of laughter and oohs from the other group. Smirking and shaking my head, I turn back to the group. I meet Eric's gaze, heat washing over me as I realize how out of character that was for me. Refusing to be ashamed or embarrassed, I hold his gaze defiantly. His gaze sharpens and his eyes darken but I roll my eyes and turn to Four. Eric's gaze bores into the side of my head but I refused to look at him. Glancing between the two of us and raising an eyebrow, Four shakes his head and continues. "You will be getting a quick tour of Dauntless so keep close and try not to get lost." He say before turning and striding into a dark tunnel.

I follow, the other transfers scrambling to keep up. A little disoriented, I squint as I try to see Four and Eric's shapes. These tunnels are roughly hewn and the dim red lanterns barely help at all. It rattles me. I should be used to it. My father was fond of shutting out the lights when he attacked me. I think it was because he could hide it from himself better if he didn't watch as the bruises bloomed on my pale skin. As bruises formed from the harsh blows. As I winced and cried and screamed from the pain.

Regardless though, I tried not to stay home all that often. It helped when I got a boyfriend when I was 15 but eventually him and I parted ways and I was back to hiding in the bookshelves again. I sigh as I quicken my pace, tense with the strange bodies following on my heels.

In Erudite, everything is bright and open and structured. Here in Dauntless, it is the opposite. It is dark and unpredictable. And while a part of me doesn't like it...the bigger part loves it.

We stop in front of a pair of huge double doors and Four and Eric turn back to us.

"Alright, initiates. Beyond these double doors, is a place called the Pit. The Pit is our Hub. We come here to eat, party, converse, you get the general idea." Four tells us, his expression blank. Eric turns and pushes a the big doors open and we file in behind him. Some how, I managed to get pushed behind Eric and I am close enough my nose is almost touching his shirt. I can smell smoke, a rusty metal and a spicy scent that makes my stomach tingle.

I blink as I realize my body's reaction to Eric's scent. It's just my luck that he glances down at me right then. His steel gaze darkens but I refuse to back down. I stride past him, hyper aware of his glare in my back as I enter the Pit. Despite my actions, I still flush a little before focusing on the room I am in. The Pit is rock walls rise several stories above my head. Built into the stone walls are places for food, clothing, supplies, leisure activities. Narrow paths and steps carved from rock connect them.

My eyes widen and a thrill shoots through me when I notice there are no rails to keep us from falling. That doesn't seem to stop anyone though. Children race each other down the paths, shoving and heckling each other without a care in the world. Full Dauntless members traverse the paths with practiced and self-confident steps. I spot a couple of older people but not a lot. I furrow my brow and bite my lip as I wonder if the older Dauntless are kept separate or if they are eventually killed or made Factionless.

The thought horrifies me but I don't have long to dwell on it. A slant of orange light stretches across one of the rock walls. Forming the roof of the Pit are panes of glass and, above them, a building that lets in sunlight. It must have looked like just another city building when we passed it on the train. Blue lanterns dangle at random intervals above the stone paths, similar to the ones that lit the Choosing room. They grow brighter as the sunlight dies. People are everywhere, all dressed in black, all shouting and talking, expressive, gesturing.

A grin spreads across my face as I hungrily take in the absolute chaos and camaraderie that envelops the Pit. One of the other transfers brushes past me and I snap out of it and follow as we make a right down another dark tunnel. As we are walking, I notice the air is getting humid and there is a loud roaring noise. The closer we get to where we are going, the louder the noise is.

As we follow Four and Eric, I look at the transfers around me. There is a surprisingly large amount of us. There is 11 of us that transferred out of our old factions. There are 3 Candors. Two girls one guy. The guy has black hair and green eyes, is tall and has a blank look on his face. One of the girls has brown hair and brown eyes (she is small) and the other has blond hair and brown eyes (and is really tall).

There is four of us that transferred out of Erudite. Two girls (me included) and two guys. The first guy is small and has red hair and brown eyes and the other guy has auburn hair and grey eyes, his arms look defined but he has a desperate look on his face that makes me think he is regretting his choice to transfer out of our old faction. The girl has honey blonde hair and hazel eyes.

There are two Amity transfers, a guy and a girl. The way they are clinging to each other makes me think they are either best friends or boyfriend and girlfriend. He has platinum blonde hair and blue eyes and she has copper hair and sapphire blue eyes.

The last two people in our group are both Abnegation. It is another guy and girl. The guy has brown hair and green eyes and the girl has red hair and moss green eyes. It is odd there is Amity and Abnegation in our group. Those are the two least likely factions to transfer to Dauntless.

We have reached the railing and Four has to shout for us to hear him.

"Alright transfers! This is the Chasm. The Chasm is here to remind us the difference between courage and stupidity! A jump off this bridge to impress a girl will end your life! It has happened before and I am willing to say there will be more that jump! You have been warned!" I look over the ledge. The water is fast-moving and pushes at the walls of the tunnels with an angry, unstoppable ferocity.

The floor here drops off at an angle and even though it is pretty far down, the spray from the water still hits my face. I look at the other side. The water is a bit calmer but no less ferocious.

"Amazing." I whisper, entranced by the strength of the river.

"You gonna jump?" Eric's voice is rough and sends a shiver down my spine. I jump and whirl around to face him. His eyes are dark as ever, swirling with a daring challenge.

"So what if I am?" I ask, jutting my chin out defiantly and he smirks; stepping closer. Unsettled, I tense up even more. I am not used to people getting in my personal space. Back home- back in Erudite, I made sure to make it apparent I don't do physical contact. It helps that Erudite isn't touchy-feely like Amity and even Dauntless can be.

"Go right ahead, one less transfer for me to worry about." Eric rumbles, his voice deep but still somehow smooth. I glare at him before pushing past (fighting to ignore the thrill I feel at his muscles) him. Heat washes through me at the touch of his muscled pecs and my belly tightens. I try desperately to ignore it and rejoin the other transfers. Four's gaze lingers on me for a second before flicking to Eric. I notice his jaw tighten before he starts speaking again.

"Follow me to your new quarters." A smirk flits across Four's mouth for a second before he leads us to a huge hole in the wall with a large door set in it. Four leaves without another word and Eric smirks.

"For those of you who don't know, my name is Eric." He snaps out, irritation clear in his gaze. It's no wonder, he is a leader of Dauntless and here he is stuck with babysitting us. "I am one of five leaders of the Dauntless. We take the initiation process very seriously here, so I volunteered to oversee most of your training." I raise a curious eyebrow, so he is not stuck here then but is right where he wants to be. Interesting. "Some ground rules, you have to be in the training room by eight o'clock every day. Training takes place every day from eight to six, with a break for lunch. You are free to do whatever you like after six. You will also get some time off between each stage of initiation. You are only permitted to leave the compound when accompanied by a Dauntless." Eric adds, now he just looks bored as he folds his large arms.

The thought of having to ask someone to go somewhere makes me bristle. Eric's smirk lets me know he caught that. I rely on my Erudite training to compose myself with a look of cool detachment. His gaze sharpens on me but he continues speaking.

"Behind this door is the room where you will be sleeping for the next few weeks. You will notice that there are 9 beds and 11 of you. We anticipated that a smaller proportion of you would make it this far." He pauses but no one dares to interrupt. Satisfaction gleams in his eyes and I grit my teeth.

"In the first stage of initiation, we keep transfers and Dauntless-born initiates separate, but that doesn't mean you are evaluated separately. At the end of initiation, your rankings will be determined in comparison with the Dauntless born initiates. And they are better than you are already. So I expect—"

"Rankings?" The Candor male sounds angry. "Why are we ranked?" Eric smiles, and in the blue light, his smile looks wicked, like it was cut into his face with a knife. "Your ranking serves two purposes, the first is that it determines the order in which you will select a job after initiation. There are only a few desirable positions available. The second purpose-" he pauses and a wicked glint enters his eyes, "-is that only the top fourteen initiates are made members." There is mumbles of outrage but it doesn't faze me. After I got my test results, I did what any good Erudite would do; I studied the Dauntless. Something tells me that they don't let just anybody join their faction. We have to prove ourselves worthy.

"What?" The male Amity squeaks out nervously. Eric grins viciously, more of a baring teeth than smile.

"I wouldn't be so sad if I were you. It used to be the top 10 but since we have a higher number of initiates this year, there will be 14 of you making it through." A wave of nausea makes me wince. I look around. That means 10 of us will be going home. That is almost half of the initiates together. I look around and I have no doubt that the majority of us will be cut. "There are 13 Dauntless borns, and 11 of you," Eric continues. "Six initiates will be cut at the end of stage one. The remainder will be cut after the final test."

"What do we do if we're cut?" The blonde Erudite girl asks, I turn my head sharply and assess her. She has a calculating look in her eyes that immediately puts me on edge. I cock my head to the side, knowing she could be dangerous. She doesn't look unsettled and nervous like most of us do. Instead, she has a look of anticipation in her eyes.

"You leave the Dauntless compound-" Eric says indifferently, clearly not caring about whether we stay or go. "-and live factionless." This renders us so silent that all we can hear is everyone shifts nervously. I notice the two Abnegation's moving away from each other and I roll my eyes. The competition hasn't even begun and I can already tell what people I would not want to have as a friend.

"But that's horrible!" Brown haired-brown eyed Candor girl shouts. Even though she sounds angry, she looks terrified. "If I had known about this-"

"You would have what?" Eric looks deadly. "Are you saying that if you had known this before the Choosing Ceremony, you wouldn't have chosen Dauntless?" Eric snaps. "Be cause if that's the case, you should get out now. If you are really one of us, it won't matter to you that you might fail. And if it does, you are a coward." Eric pushes the door to the dormitory open angrily.

"You picked us," he says. "Now we have to pick you."

* * *

We all stare at Eric.

No one makes a move to go past him. Honestly, they all look terrified of the dangerous male. He is like a lion, muscles rippling and danger a constant air about him. He looks as arrogant as one too. I roll my eyes, square my shoulders and stalk forward, Erudite look on my face. I brush past him and into the room. I stop in the middle of the room and survey it.

The walls are a dark grey, made out of the same rough grey stone as the tunnels. There are 9 beds spread in the room. The beds have a thin mattress, a pillow and a blanket. The floors are stone and I know that in the mornings my feet will probably freeze. Under each bed is a single drawer. Right across from the door on the wall hangs a blank sheet of glass. I briefly wonder what it is there for but I toss it out of my mind.

Curiosity is a Erudite trait. And a strong one in me. That could and probably will come back to bite me in the ass.

I pick the bed in the right corner that is farthest from the door. From here I will be able to keep my back to the wall and see everyone, including the door. I don't want any surprises. I shift the blankets on the bed to mark it as mine and pause. There is a thin space between the wall and the bed and if I wanted to, I bet I could slide in there. I make a mental note to push my bed closer against the wall.

Behind me, I hear the rest of the initiates file into the room. I sit down on my chosen bed, letting everyone know that it is the one I will use. I watch them silently as they pick beds and the last four shift nervously and anxiously.

"Since there is only 9 beds, 4 of you will have to share. Choose now." Eric's voice booms out and I look up and watch as the other initiates awkwardly look at each other. Nobody wants to share a bed with a stranger. Finally the 2 Amity transfers decide to share a bed and the 2 Abnegation transfers decide to share.

From the looks of their flaming red cheeks, I am willing to bet they only offered to share because their Abnegation selflessness kicked in. I don't really care though. As long as I don't have to share, I will be fine.

"Note that on each of your beds is clothing. You will go into the bathroom and change. When you come out, you will burn your old clothes." We all watch him and he scowls and crosses his arms again. "What are you waiting for?!" Everyone jumps and grabs their clothes and rushes for the bathroom. I quickly unhook the bag from the Abnegation dress and drop it in the space between my bed and the wall before joining them.

I can hear complaints as I near the door and Eric smirks arrogantly from where he is leaning against the wall. I walk past him, avoiding looking directly at him and walk into the bathroom and stare. All at once, I can completely understand and agree with the complaints. Once again, the walls are grey _(shocker)_ and un-decorated. There are stalls lining the walls and a drain in the middle of the room where the water drains out.

The stalls don't have doors or any type of covering. Against another wall, there is a line of mirrors and sinks for us to use. I cock my head to the side and stare. I really don't want to guess-

"As you can see, this is a co-ed bathroom. Deal with it!" I stiffen as Eric's voice comes from directly behind me. Warmth radiates off of him and a tremor goes down my spine as goosebumps break out on my skin. Eric chuckles behind me and I suppress a scowl. I stubbornly refuse to move but every inch of me is tensed and prepared if he tries anything.

"Get dressed Stiff, we wouldn't want you to miss anything." Eric murmurs in my ear, his brawny chest briefly touching my back and I force myself to bite the inside of my cheek to prevent myself from saying anything _too_ insulting to him. My stomach tightens again, my bodies reaction to the blatant power he is showing. I turn and give him a short, sharp nod before he surveys me up and down with a smirk on his face as he leaves.

**XXX**

After I finish washing, I hurriedly get dressed. Under my cool façade my cheeks are burning with an angry blush. To be forced to take shower in a room full of guys is unnecessarily crude.

I pull on a pair of black pants, a long sleeve black shirt and a black jacket. I run my fingers through my hair before I pull it up in a professional bun on top of my head. I inwardly curse myself as I notice the looks I am getting as I remember...I am not Erudite anymore. These habits are going to be harder to break than I thought they would be. I join the others as they leave the room and walk past Eric without looking at him. Heat flushes through my cheeks though when I can practically feel the dark amusement wafting off him. Without a word, he strides to the front of the group and leads us back to the Pit.

The entrance to the Dining Hall is a gaping hole through the wall in the Pit. It's well lit and lined with tables. When we enter the room, the Dauntless inside explode in a frenzy of clapping and shouting. I smile a little at the warm welcome, thawing a little. Eric leads us to the back of the room and we get in line. We all pick up a tray and shuffle in the line to pick what food we want. I get a hamburger, some corn, a slice of chocolate cake and grab a bottle labeled 'Apple Juice.' I look around to see where I should sit. I suddenly see Zander, Josh, Sasha, Dean and Izzy sitting at a table.

Without a second thought, I walk over and join them. When I set down my tray, Zander looks up and grins, his blue-green eyes lighting up. He scans me up and down and nods approvingly as I sit next to him.

"Lookin' good Paz!" He crows, wrapping an arm around my shoulders and tugging me into a sideways hug. I smirk playfully and nod at him innocently.

"Same for you...oh wait. No, you look the same." I say casually and he lets go of me to widen his eyes and slap a hand to his chest like he'd just been shot.

"Oh, snap!" Izzy shouts and Dean laughs loudly. I pick up my burger and take a big bite, smiling as Izzy and Josh start to wrestle.

"Smell it!" Josh teases her, holding her head under his armpit while she struggles to get away.

"Josh! You fucking pig! I'm gonna kill you!" She squeals, punching him in the ribs. He winces and lets go, laughing as tackles him off the bench. As the rich flavors fall on my tongue, I look up and even from across the room my eyes automatically meet Eric's hard blue eyes.

He holds my gaze for a few second before smirking darkly and turning away. Unsettled, I bite my lip and set down my burger. I grab my chocolate cake and groan as I realize I didn't grab a fork. Sighing, I stare wistfully at my cake. Shrugging, I decide to fuck it. I swipe a finger through the icing and pop it in my mouth, moaning as the sinful taste hits my tongue. I polish off the cake, humming happily. I set down my plate and look up. The whole table is watching me with fascinated amusement.

"Damn girl! If you are this vocal eating a cake, I can only imagine how vocal you would be in bed!" Dean teases and I blush, rolling my eyes.

"We don't normally have cake at Erudite and when we do, it is not as good as this. Besides-" I flash him a flirty glance. "-I can be quite vocal in bed when I want to be." I smirk imperiously as his mouth drops open and the girls burst into peals of laughter. I giggle along with them before tensing.

"What are you doing over here initiate?" I roll my eyes at the table before reluctantly turning around, nibbling on my lip. Eric's eyes immediately focus on where my teeth worry my lip and his eyes darken. I let go of my lip and smile brightly, flashing my pearly whites.

"Getting know the competition. I gotta say-" I throw a faux-disappointed look over my shoulder. "-I don't think I have much to worry about."

"Oh!" Zander shouts.

"Just you wait!" Sasha says with a teasing glint in her eyes.

"I'm hurt!" Dean with a hand to his chest.

"I thought we were closer than than!" Josh cries with a teasing grin as he flings a handful of corn at me. I duck, laughing and throw a few kernels back.

"You wish!" I shoot back, a happy grin on my face. "Besides! I bet I will be at the top of my class and you losers will be at the bottom!" I tease and they burst into a round of indignant replies as I giggle and Zander drags me down beside him and knuckles my head. It takes a few moments but I realize Eric left.

"Where'd he go?" I question, looking around and Sasha shrugs.

"I'm pretty sure Dean's ugly face scared him off!" She quips and he glares playfully while we start teasing him. This prompts a whole new round of screwing around, which I somehow get dragged into. I duck a flying hamburger and pick up Zander's cake, slamming it into Josh's face. Silence falls in the dining hall but we don't notice, too busy busting up laughing to care.

"I was gonna eat that!" Zander exclaims mournfully and we laugh harder.

"Too bad!" I choke out before giggling some more as he puts me in a headlock. I twist easily out of it, punching his shoulder. At this point, Izzy and Sasha are laughing so hard they are leaning on each other to stay on the bench. Dean is snickering at Josh, who is glaring playfully.

"Initiates!" A voice booms out and we all automatically turn. Eric glares viciously at us, gesturing to a dark-skinned man beside him. "If you are done screwing around- our Leader, Max is trying to speak!" He snaps and a giggle slips out from me. I duck behind Zander, my shoulders shaking with laughter. I gain composure and resurface, nodding sheepishly.

"Sorry!" I call out and the rest of my group apologizes close behind. "No more screwing around. Scouts honor!" I chirp, saluting him with two fingers. His glare intensifies and I hear a few disbelieving laughs from the Dauntless.

"Thank you Eric." Max calls, glancing pointedly at us. I shrug innocently but the shit-eating grin on my face gives me away. Amusement shines in his dark eyes but he doesn't address it. "Initiates, stand up." He calls and we all get to our feet, shoving and jostling each other. Under Max and Eric's stern glares, we straighten up, shuffling our feet. "You have been gathered here because you chose us as your new faction. Here, you will be learning how to defend and protect our city and all that live in it. You will see many things but remember: here in Dauntless, we fall seven times and stand up eight. We don't back down and we never give up. Because we know that what lies behind us and what lies before us are small matters compared to what lies within us." The Dauntless slowly start stamping their feet in a two beat rhythm. "We are the warriors." A cheer rises. "We are the brave." A louder cheer sweeps around the room. "We are Dauntless. And now you have the chance to be too." The cheers are deafening, whistles and shouts making me think the sheer noise could bring this Pit down.

Suddenly we are being swarmed and lifted, passed around the room. I hold Zander's gaze, the overwhelming acceptance I have found her finally hitting me. Tears shine in my dark blue eyes as I let my head fall back and allow myself to be carried by what I hope will be my new faction.

After a little while, the Dauntless start to slow down and I get lowered. I stumble a little and large hands clamp on my hips, holding me steady. I look up, thanks on my lips but I freeze. Eric stares down at me, his blue-grey eyes unreadable. He leans down and whispers in my ear, his lips brushing my lobe and I shiver.

"Be careful Stiff. You let your guard down and you are gone." He snaps his fingers softly and I jump. "Just. Like. That." He backs up, turns and disappears into the sea of black. I stare after him, my heart racing and my hands shaking. I finally shake it off and wander back to my table, smiling at my group as we resume our cheerful eating.

I can't shake it though. The look in his eyes. The warmth in his hands as he held my hips. I take a deep breath and shake it off.

I can't let him trip me up.

I can't.

**XXX**

After dinner, Eric silently leads us back to the dorm before disappearing. I quickly slip under the covers, not bothering to get undressed and lay in bed. The lights flick off and for a few seconds it is dead silent. Then rustling betrays shifting in bed. Someone sighs and I roll so my back is to the wall. I reach down and grab my bag. I pull it open and I don't need a light to know what the first item I touch is.

I gently touch the picture of my mom. It is the only thing I have of her aside from my dark curls. My mom looked like me. Until she was killed by the Factionless one night when she was walking home. It destroyed my little 5 year old world in more ways than one.

The second and final item I pull out of my bag is a small frame with a background of flames. Engraved in silver words is the saying, "Take every chance. Drop every fear."

Jett gave it to me before he left. These two items mean the world to me. It is why I risked everything to bring them with me. I couldn't leave them behind. I wonder if I will get to see him soon. I miss Jett.

I hope I get to see him soon.

I gently tuck the items back into the bag and shove it down and under the bed.

I lay back and listen to the 10 other initiates breathing around me. Faster breathing lets me know there are some of us that are either crying or are about to cry. Then the worst thing happens. A loud sob a few beds over breaks the silence. I freeze. A part of me wants to get up and go over there but the larger part of me keeps me glued to my bed.

I clasp my hands to my ears and squeeze until I can't hear them crying anymore.

It is awhile before I fall asleep.

* * *

I wake with a start and take deep breaths to calm my racing heart. I look around, everyone is still asleep. I quickly grab my clothes and creep to the bathroom. I take a quick shower and run my fingers through my hair, wishing I had a brush before I throw it into a ponytail, remembering to forgo the business bun. I get dressed and quietly leave the room. I head down to the Dining Hall, my Erudite brain remembering the way without a problem.

When I enter the room, I look around. There isn't a lot of Dauntless that are up right now. A small but tough looking group in the corner glances up before going back to their discussion. I get a tray and put some food on before I sit down. I quickly eat and sit while I wait for the rest of the initiates get to the Dining Hall. It is a while before anyone else gets up.

After they finish eating, Four shows up and leads us to the roof. As we stand in the chilly wind, I am glad I have my jacket on.

"Alright initiates! Listen up because I will not repeat myself! The first thing you will learn today is how to shoot a gun. The second thing is how to win a fight." Four looks at me a second before holds out a gun to me. I take it, unprepared for the weight of it. The gun is completely black and cold in my hand. I stare down at the gun and wonder if I could shoot someone with it.

"Initiation is divided into three stages. We will measure your progress and rank you according to your performance in each stage. The stages are not weighed equally in determining your final rank, so it is possible, though difficult, to drastically improve your rank over time."

The chill of the gun seeps into my hands and I shiver. This gun feels dangerous. It scares me a little to be holding so much power in my hand. If I shoot in the wrong direction I could eliminate one of us. I shove the thought away before I can look at the ruthless side of myself. The side that poisoned the lady back when I had the serum.

"We believe that preparation eradicates cowardice, which we define as the failure to act in the midst of fear. Therefore each stage of initiation is intended to prepare you in a different way. The first stage is primarily physical; the second, primarily emotional; the third, primarily mental."

"How are we proving our bravery by firing a gun?" The Amity boy pipes up. I roll my eyes. Clearly the Dauntless are the protectors of life as we know it. We need to be able to defend ourselves if something happens. Clearly he was never meant for Erudite. I stifle the disdain I feel for him but Four has no such compunctions.

Four stalks over to the guy and gets right in his face.

"What does firing a gun have to do with bravery?" He mocks and the guy flushes red. "Are you kidding me right now? We are the protectors of our city. If something happens and you need to protect yourself, what are you going to do? Huh? You gonna run away? Or are you going to stand and fight?! We are Dauntless! We are brave! So you better get that into your head before you get cut." Four hisses before whirling away. I notice the clenched jaw and angry fire in his eyes. Something tells me Four _really _doesn't like being interrupted.

"Watch me. I am going to show you how to fire a gun. I will only show this once." He faces the wall with the targets on it—one square of plywood with three red circles on it for each of us. He stands with his feet apart, holds the gun in both hands, lowers his head, and fires. The bang is so loud it hurts my ears.

I stare at the target. There is a single round hole in the center of the target. I clench my jaw, raise my gun, spread my legs shoulder-width apart, duck my head and fire.

The recoil knocks me back a step, regardless of the fact I had tensed up. My shoulders starts to ache and my hands sting. My ears are ringing from the bang of the gun but all I care about is the target. I didn't hit it. My board is perfect without a single mar. I flush and a heat starts in my veins. I clench my jaw and try again.

The same fucking result.

I shoot and shoot and by the end of the lesson, all I have managed to do is clip the edge of the board. Anger pulses through my veins as I set the gun down and whirl around. I pull up short as my eyes meet the amused blue ones of Eric. He is leaned against the wall with his bulky arms crossed over his brawny chest and a smirk on his face. I narrow my eyes and stalk past him, my steps short and sharp with anger.

The other initiates eye me warily but the other girl that transferred out of Erudite with me sneers mockingly. I stop and harden my glare towards her and flex my hands. An anger is burning in me and I don't know what I would have done if Eric hadn't spoken up.

"Alright Initiates. That was your first lesson. Go and eat and then report to the Arena. Four will lead you there." I lower my head, Erudite mask coming over me. It wouldn't do for me to have any enemies so soon in the game. I will have to hide my anger and control it.

When we get to the Dining Hall, I eagerly look around for Zander, Izzy, Sasha, Dean and Josh. My face falls when I realize they aren't there. I grab a tray, some food and sit down by myself. In a few seconds, I am surrounded by the rest of the Initiates gushing about their gun experience. My scowl sets in as my anger starts showing again.

I finish eating and get up. I ignore the questions of the rest of the initiates as I stalk out of the room. I head to the dorm room and shut it behind me. I reach behind the bed and pull out the necklace. I really need to get a better grip on myself. I take a deep breath and put it back before pulling out the picture of my mom.

She has the same hair I have. The long black locks. I smile as I trace her face with my finger. I have to make her proud. I put the picture back and go back to Dining Hall, Erudite mask restored. I get there just as the rest of the Initiates are starting to leave. Eric stares at me for a second before whispering something to Four and leaving.

Without a word, Four leads us down a darker, unfamiliar tunnel. When we enter the room, the first thing I notice is how big it is. The room is huge. I could fit my house in it 2 times and still have room left over. The wooden floor creaks under our feet as we walk to the large circle painted in the middle of the floor. I look over and notice on the left wall is another sheet of clear glass hanging on the wall.

With a chill, I realize all of our names are written on the wall in alphabetical order. I look away and notice faded black punching bags placed about 3 feet apart. Four directs us to stand behind them before giving us more instructions.

"As I said this morning, next you will learn how to fight. The purpose of this is to prepare you to act; to prepare your body to respond to threats and challenges —which you will need, if you intend to survive life as a Dauntless. We will go over technique today, and tomorrow you will start to fight each other. So it would be a good idea for you to learn fast. No screwing around. Those who don't learn fast will get hurt." Four names a few different punches, demonstrating each one as he does, first against the air and then against the punching bag.

As he is showing us, I practice against the bag. I will not loose tomorrow.

When Four teaches us how to do the leg kicks, it feels easier for me to do. And when I kick the bag, I can actually get it to move. By the end of the lesson, I am feeling slightly optimistic. When I get to the Dining Hall, the feeling only increases as I see Izzy and the others waiting for me.

"Sup, 'Zia?" Izzy asks me, a bright, giddy grin on her face. I laugh and plop down beside her, setting down my tray of food.

"I suck at shooting a gun but on the plus side, my legs hold an awesome power." I say dramatically. There is a pause before Zander starts to scoot away from me, a wary look in his blue-green eyes.

"Zander!" I cry and hit him in the arm. Izzy and Sasha start to snicker as he mock-winces. Josh and Dean watch in amusement as their former fearless leader gets beat up by me.

"Ow!" He pretends to be hurt and I try to give him a stern glare but my lips twitch into a grin as he tosses an arm over my shoulder. I elbow his side but don't pull away. Zander is fast becoming my best friend here.

"So how was your guy's first day?" I ask cheerfully, taking a bite of my mashed potatoes. Immediately, Josh, Zander, Izzy and Sasha start snicker. Shooting them dirty glares, Dean groans.

"My arms fucking ache." He mutters and I frown at him, confused. "And I can't shoot for shit!" He shouts, tossing down his fork and glaring as the rest of the group starts laughing again. A reluctant smirk is pulled out of him as we pat his back and ruffle his hair, showing him he still belongs. "On the plus side, I excel at those punching bags. They don't stand a chance!" He boasts, flexing his arms. We burst out laughing at him and he pouts as we calm down.

"Wait. But-Don't you guys already know this stuff?" I ask curiously, Erudite showing again. Sasha shakes her platinum blonde and pink streaked head.

"Nah. I mean, we know it but the 16 year olds and under are not allowed to handle a gun until they have chosen their faction. They don't want us 'doing anything too stupid'." She quotes sarcastically, clearly having tried to get a gun before. She shakes her head and rolls her eyes and I snort at the craziness of Dauntless.

"Cute." I mutter and Dean barks a laugh at me. My bitterness vanishes and I grin at him, leaning into Zander's side as he tugs me closer. "Tomorrow we are going to be fighting." I announce and they nod, clearly learning the same things as us. They will probably be better though, considering they have the home advantage. Abruptly, I am fiercely glad the transfers and Dauntless born are kept separate for training.

"Us too." Izzy says through a mouth full of hot dog.

"Gross!" I wrinkle my nose at her and she throws a roll at me. I duck laughing and a startled shout behind us makes us burst out in giggles. Zander glances over my shoulder and laughs, high-fiving her.

"Nice Izzy! You hit Dickward!" I stare at him for a second before I burst out laughing. Unable to resist, they join the laughter.

"Oh my goodness! Dickward? That isn't really his name?" I ask, doubt in my tone as I calm down and pop a piece of the roll in my mouth.

"Nah, but he is such a dick that is what we call him." Josh explains casually. I glance back at the Dauntless born initiate with red and black hair glaring venomously at us and turn back to them.

"So what's his real name?" Izzy grins, exchanging glances with the rest of the group.

"I don't know why he is so offended by the name we gave him considering how awful his original name is. It's Howard." She reveals and I laugh.

"Wow! I agree, I wonder why he isn't grateful you changed his name! I would hate to have that name." Sasha laughs agreeingly, her steel gray eyes bright.

"I know right? That's what I said!" She says and I grin at her and we bump fists happily.

"We are Soul Sisters!" I laugh and she nods her head, our eyes sparkling cheerfully.

"Alright! Let's hurry this up! We gotta go do something!" Dean bursts out and we laugh before finishing our food and leaving the dining hall.

"Race you!" Josh shouts, green eyes glittering with challenge before he takes off.

"Hey!"

"Cheater!"

"Get back here, asswipe!"

"Dickface!"

We shout after him and we laugh and race each other up the perilous paths, daring each other to be riskier. I grin and race along with them, the thrill sweeping me along. Right now, I couldn't care less about the dark, we are too busy lighting it up with our laughter.

We reach a clothing shop and split from the guys. Izzy and Sasha toss clothes at me so I shove some at them before we giggle and move on. When we leave, we all have a couple of bags and are points cheaper. Every Dauntless gets a certain amount of points to spend per month, and I ended up letting Sash and Iz convince me to spend some of them. We meet up with the guys and head to the tattoo parlor.

Izzy decides to get a tattoo of a tiger roaring with its claws out on her shoulder and Sasha is getting a tattoo of a rose on her right leg above her knee. The guys are only with us because they want to see the tattoos when they are finished.

"Are you gonna get one?" Zander asks an arm over my shoulders and I shake my head.

"Nope. Not until I have a reason to celebrate." Zander nods and we go see the finished tattoos. The tiger is so lifelike- I half expect it to roar. The rose is black and it looks beautiful, if a little painful.

"Does it hurt?" I ask Izzy and she shakes her head.

"Nope. It actually feels like I am getting drunk." I giggle as we leave. Instead of partying in the Pit, we decide to go mess around in the Arena. Only when we get there, Eric is in there. His large form is taut with power as he moves.

We stand silently at the door and watch as he pounds away at a bag. His large fists are wrapped with white cloth as he brutally lands hit after hit to the punching bag. The bag is violently swinging on the chain and it wouldn't surprise me if it snapped. Eric's back bunches and flexes as he exercises his frustration out on the bag, his hair is falling in his eyes; which are unfocused and dark with rage.

We share looks before we slowly back away and leave.

"That was..." Josh trails off and we share another silent look before splitting up and going our own way. Unsettled, I go to the dorms and shower since no one is in there. After I get out, I pull out my toothbrush and brush my teeth before getting into my pajamas and climbing into bed.

I reach down and gently touch my mom's picture before I close my eyes and go to sleep.

I survived the first tests.

Jett would be proud.


	3. Chapter 3 - Training

A/N: Disclaimer: I don't own the Divergent world. I only own Pazia. (Pronounced: Pah-ze-ah.) All outfits are on my profile. This story is set after Four and Eric became Dauntless but the year before Tris became Dauntless.

**_Rating:_** _M_

**_Word_**_** Count:** 8, 990_

Dauntless reviews are always appreciated!

**Chapter Three**

* * *

_**Previously on Battle Scars:**_

_"I am Four, your new instructor. This is Eric. He is one of our Dauntless leaders..."_

_..._

_Eric turns and pushes a the big doors open and we file in behind him. Some how, I managed to get pushed behind Eric and I am close enough my nose is almost touching his shirt. I can smell smoke, a rusty metal and a spicy scent that makes my stomach tingle._

_..._

_"You picked us," he says. "Now we have to pick you."_

_..._

_I survived the first tests._

_Jett would be proud._

* * *

-_Daddy?-_

_-sweetheart, go back to bed.-_

_-a scream-_

_-rush of feet-_

_-Mommy!-_

_-go!-_

_-don't wanna! Don't make me go!-_

_-Please!-_

_-wake up, wake up, wake up!-_

_-no, no, no!-_

_-This isn't happening. I need to wake up-_

I jerk up in bed, my heart pounding. I run a hand through my long black hair and take a deep breath. My skin is clammy with fear and I get the sinking feeling my dream was a memory. The only problem with that thought, is my mom was killed by the Factionless walking home one night. Not bleeding out in my living room. I take a deep breath and put the thought out of my mind. I toss back the covers, grab my clothes and hurry take a shower.

I sigh happily as the hot water falls down and warms me. I run my hands through my hair and allow the soap to wash out. I finish and shut the water off. I use a towel to rinse off and quickly get dressed.

"Well, well, well. If it isn't the prodigy." A voice sneers. Caught off guard, I flinch and whirl around. It is the other Erudite girl. Her blonde hair is pull up, her arms are crossed and she has an ugly sneer twisting on her face. She would be beautiful if her face wasn't twisted with hate and her hazel-gold eyes dark with disgust.

"Tabby." I acknowledge her. I remember her from Erudite. She was always the perfect little girl- until she was out of an adults sight. Then she transformed into a vicious little harpy. Right now, her face twists even more as a silent snarl crosses her face.

"You think you are perfect. Don't you?" She asks, her voice harsh. My heart starts beating faster...I don't like where this is going. "You're not. You are so pathetic. You have been, all your life." I flinch back as her words hit home. These are all things I have heard before but somehow they hurt more coming from someone other than my father. It is like he was justified in saying and doing what he did. "You don't deserve to be here. Dauntless is for the brave, and you are just a coward." She spits out. A film of tears cover my eyes and I quickly grab my stuff. My hands are visibly shaking and take deep breaths, desperately trying not to cry. This is pathetic. A few harsh words and I am ready to bawl my eyes out. "Aww. Are you running away? Again? I wonder what your Dauntless born friends would say if they could see you now. They are going to leave you. Once they see how pathetic you are. It's inevitable!" She snarls after me as I push past her. I can barely see through the tears filming my eyes but I don't let them fall.

I desperately try to push her words out of my mind but it isn't working. I put my dirty clothes away and race down to the Dining Hall._ It isn't true. It isn't true. It isn't true. It _can't_ be true._ I scan the hall and relax a little when I see them. Zander sees me and waves me over. I go get some food before joining them.

"What's wrong? You look like hell warmed over!" Izzy exclaims, prompting Sasha to turn from Josh with concern and I force a smile. _Weak._ I flinch a little at the echoed word but shove the feelings away.

"It's nothing." Lowering my head, I run my fork through my food, missing the exchanged looks of confusion and worry; as I try to ignore the part of me that wonders who I am trying to convince.

Them?...Or me?

**XXX**

"Today is the first day of our fighting. We are going to pair you into groups of two where you will use the skills we have given you. Since there is an uneven number of you, one of you will have to sit out." Four glances at the list on the board, his blue gaze sharp.

"As you can see, Taylor is going to be sitting this one out." I look over at the Abnegation girl and wonder why Four chose her to sit out. She looks desperately happy to be sitting out of the fighting for today. "The rest of you will be fighting. First up are Ellie and Ty." The two Amity transfers share scared looks before slowly moving to the large square mat they will be fighting on. It seems kind of cruel to me that Four would pit the two Amity transfers against each other. Especially since I can tell they are dating.

It really is cruel to have the two Amity's fight each other. But then I suppose it could be worse. Mike (red hair, brown eyed Erudite) is sending Ty dirty looks. I would wonder why if I cared.

"Alright initiates! Watch and learn." Four shouts before nodding to Ellie and Ty. They slowly lift their fists and I wince. Ellie looks tiny next to his lanky frame. Ty fakes a hit to her and her eyes widen as she stumbles back. The guy looks like he is going to cry. All of a sudden, fire lights up in her eyes and Ellie steps back onto the mat and darts at him. She throws a punch and he automatically blocks it and returns the punch with one of his own. Ellie goes down hard.

"Ellie!" Ty shouts and drops down to pick her up. Four watches with a stern look before allowing them to go with the nurses.

"Ty wins this fight." Four announces and the screen wavers for a second before Ty's name shoots to first place. Mike scowls before stalking onto the mat with Andy (brown hair, green eyed Abnegation transfer). Andy looks awkward as he walks onto the mat and raises his fists. When Four gives the nod, Mike shoots forward and throws quick and harsh punches. Andy falls and curls up as Mike rains blow after blow down on him.

"Alright! That's enough." Four steps forward and Mike reluctantly walks away. Andy looks like a bloody mess as he is carried off the mat. I take a deep breath as it is my turn. I face Ander (black hair, green eyed Candor) with a sense of dread.

He is huge. There is a fire in his eyes that isn't cruel but at the same time, I can tell he has no intention of loosing. I raise my fists and run my eyes down his large frame. He has broad shoulders, narrow waist. He is fast but my smaller size will make me faster. If I can dodge and kick, I should be fine.

My breath starts coming faster. The key word is 'should', but when has life ever been fair to me?

Ander makes a feint and I quickly block. He pulls back with a new wariness entering his eyes. We slowly circle each other before I dodge forward and make a low sweeping kick at his feet. He jumps over my leg and punches me. It lands right on my cheekbone and my head snaps back. I stumble and he lunges forward.

I flinch back, for an instant seeing my father and trip over my feet. I fall to the ground but to my surprise, he doesn't take the advantage and lets me get up. Warily eyeing him, I slowly get up. He silently circles me and I dodge a kick before returning a hit. To my surprise, my fist lands. It doesn't land as hard as it should have because I pulled back in surprise but it does land.

Satisfaction burns in Ander's eyes and I briefly wonder why before he lands a hit to my stomach and I double over. It doesn't hurt like my father's hits but I am a little winded. I straighten and shock shows in his eyes. A hit like that should have taken me down but I have a higher tolerance to pain than most. I throw a punch at his face and his head snaps to the side, a small bruise blooming. Ander throws another punch but I throw myself to the side and scramble to get up.

An idea pops into my head and I feign a limp in my left leg as I get up. Victory in his eyes, Ander gets close enough to land a hit but I dodge, slip to the side and land a punch to his side. This time I don't pull the punch and he yelps as the breath rushes out of his lungs and I smile triumphantly.

Beyond him I catch a movement and my eyes hold on the hulking frame. Eric is watching. He is in the shadows leaning against the wall, his arms crossed_ (is that the only thing he knows how to do?)_ and is watching with an appraising gaze. Caution lights in me but I don't have time to dwell on it.

Because in that careless moment of taking my attention away from my opponent, he recovers and whirls around with enough speed to surprise me and tackles me. His fist catches me in my side and I hear a muffled crunch before I loose my breath to pain. I instinctively know he cracked a rib. As my head hits the ground, darkness creeps in and the last thing I see is Ander's worried green eyes.

**XXX**

When I wake, it is a slow process.

I turn my head, trying to see where I am but pain shoots through me and I still. The pain washing through me is not the worst I have ever felt but because of my quick movement, I was robbed of breath. After I catch my breath, I carefully look around, wondering where my Dauntless born friends are.

_'Aww. Are you running away? Again? I wonder what your Dauntless born friends would say if they could see you now. They are going to leave you. Once they see how pathetic you are. It's inevitable!'_

I flinch a little as the words resound through my head but hiss as pain strikes me. I reach up and carefully feel my face. As my fingers map out the bumps and sore spots, my horror grows.

I must look hideous. I can't even smile at my vainess because I know this is not good. I went from being first jumper to being horrible at everything Dauntless has to offer. Anger burns in me, bright and hot before a strong sense of helplessness replaces it. I hate it. I don't want to be helpless never again but it seems like that is all that I am.

Tears burn strong behind my eyelids and I want so badly to let them fall...but I can't. I just take a deep breath, curl over and try not to irritate my side. It's past time I curled back into my shell. As my eyes drift closed, one last thought prompts a wave of sadness.

_'I miss you Jett, why haven't you come to see me yet?'_

**XXX**

The next time I wake up, I am equally alone as I was before.

I try to hide the wave of disappointment but I can't. Once again, I reflect on Tabby's harsh words and this time, I realize she was right. My so called Dauntless 'friends' aren't actually my friends. For a second, my heart aches and then I lock the pain away. I always knew I couldn't trust other people. My mistake here was thinking Dauntless would be different.

I take a shaky breath and another until my breath evens out. A fog slowly lowers over my thoughts, dampening the hurt I feel. I relax a little. That's much better. I used to do this when I lived at my father's house. It helped me cope with the fear and loneliness.

I wait patiently as a Dauntless lady allows me to leave and then hobble out. With every step I take, pain radiates from every inch of me. My breath comes harsher as I gingerly walk down the roughly hewn stone steps. Realizing what time it is, I slowly move to the Pit. The noise coming from just past the doors makes me both anxious and eager before I crush those feelings too.

I push the doors open, hiding a hiss of pain from myself.

For a second, I stand there, watching as the transfers joke and laugh and then look for the other initiates. Alezander, Josh, Sasha, Izzy, and Dean are all screwing around at their table, all of them looking happy. A sharp stab of pain makes me gasp and clutch at my side. Not wanting to face them, I turn and leave. Tears start to burn in my eyes but I stubbornly will them not to fall.

"Hey!" I hear Zander shout but continue walking, shoulders curling in and my head lowering. My heart thumps with the pain of thinking I could trust people...and realizing I was wrong. "Paz! Wait up!" I reluctantly slow and turn around, my head down and my hair hiding my face. Unfortunately, I stopped right by one of the lanterns and I am sure I look especially hideous in the red light. "Whoa." He breaths as they come to a stop.

"You look hideous-" Dean chokes to a stop as Izzy elbows him in the side. I flinch away from the quick movement and then abruptly still. Hurt wells up inside my heart before I block it off.

"Why didn't you wait for us?" Sasha asks, her voice soft. I look into her gray eyes and desperately want to believe I was wrong and that people _can _be trusted but I have never been a good lier to myself. It's funny because lying is almost effortless when it comes to other people.

"Yeah, you gotta wait for your friends!" Josh jokes and I flinch again, the cruel choice of words making another swell of pain wash through me.

"Friends?" I say bitterly. "Some friends you guys are. You didn't even visit me when I was hurt." I accuse, raising my head, wincing at the pain in my neck. "You guys weren't even worried. I saw you laughing and joking without a care in the world. You aren't my friends." I finish them, hurt shining in my eyes.

"Wait! That's not fair." Zander protests, stepping forward. "We do care, we just-" He cuts himself off and looks at the rest of the group. They shift and look away, not wanting to speak up.

"Our trainer told us who we hang out with could affect our score and rankings." Izzy explains, lowering her head a little. I look at her with all the hurt and betrayal in my heart.

"Oh, and I suppose I'm not good enough?" I ask in disbelief, my voice breaking. They all flinch, shame clouding their features like the tears in my eyes and the tear in my heart.

"No!" Sasha exclaims, holding out a pleading hand but I back away. Right now, I am not in the mood to listen to their excuses.

"I get it." I say dully. "You won't have to worry about me screwing up your scores anymore. Or the promise we made on the train." I turn to go but a hand on my shoulder makes me flinch and whirl around. Dean raises his hands apologetically but a firm look is on his face.

"Look, we can still hang out. We just need to keep it quiet-" He cuts himself off as tears start to well up in my eyes, making the dark blue look darker.

"Thanks but no thanks." I spit out bitterly. "I've had enough of being someone's dirty little secret. You don't need to worry about me anymore. I won't bother you. Just-leave me alone." I turn and walk away, alone and with tears burning in my eyes.

**XXX**

As the week progresses, I sink into an even deeper fog. I don't even notice Eric anymore. Tabby crows over her daily victories and I can't find it in me to care. I just sink even deeper into a depression. I ignore the glances I get from my false friends as I robotically go through the movements of pretending I care. At this point, I don't even care if I get kicked out of Dauntless.

At least then I can get close enough to the Factionless to kill them.

"11, are you listening to me?" I flinch, shying away from Four's loud voice. He calls me 11 because I am at the very bottom of the list for the transfers. Ander is right at the top with Tabby vying with him for the number one position. "11!" Four barks and I flinch again, my eyes focusing on him. "You are supposed to be hitting the bag, not staring at it!" He berates before stalking off.

I suck in a deep breath, holding it and releasing it; allowing my heart to slow down.

"C'mon 11, you're better than this." Ander says beside me, his green eyes serious. I just stare blankly at him before weakly hitting the bag. My strength seems to have left me after the fight with him. I can't concentrate, I can barely eat and my plummet to the bottom of the list was fast and harsh. I have fought two more times and each time I loose.

After Ander, I fought Mike and then Andy the Abnegation transfer. I was distracted and one good hit let him take me out. A hopeless feeling swallows me whole. I am at the bottom of the list and I have no doubt I will be the first to go...and I can't bring myself to care.

As we leave the training room, I am at the very back.

"11, stay behind." I stop as dread fills my chest. I slowly face Four as he crosses his arms and stares at me. "What is wrong with you?" He asks, his voice hard. "You chose this life, now you should be fighting to keep it. Not giving up because you lost a few fights!" He berates me and I flinch, lowering my head and allowing the words to wash over me. It's nothing I haven't heard before. "Are you listening to me?" Four asks and I raise my head, my dark blue eyes blank. He sighs and dismisses me.

I turn and leave, passing by a passive Eric by the door. His icy blue eyes lock on my darker ones as I pass by him. His eyes seem to challenge me and the arrogant smirk summons up a little flame of annoyance before it is gone. I lower my head again as I walk past him and leave the room.

The fog falls over my mind again and this time I welcome it like an old friend.

**XXX**

I spot dark hair and for a second I freeze, my heart speeding up. Then the guy turns around and I see his blue eyes. My heart slows and I lower my head again as I walk. In the month and a half that I have been here, I have yet to see Jett. A part of me wonders if he is avoiding me or just doesn't know I am here. I release a big sigh but continue walking.

I hear Tabby's loud voice and look up, trying to see who she is tormenting this time. I freeze when I see her laughing with Zander, Izzy, Sasha, Josh and Dean. All of my breath just leaves me. Hurt wells up inside my chest and I turn, stumbling away. Tears burn in my eyes but once again, I refuse to let them fall. Anger burns bright and hot in my heart and this time it is harder to shove it away.

Somehow, I manage.

When we are summoned to the train two days later, I slowly get dressed; my every movement designed to make me unnoticeable. I follow at the back of the group as we walk through the tunnels. We reach outside and I take a deep breath, unfolding a little with the light. My steps are a tiny bit lighter as I walk with the rest of the group.

We only have to wait a few moments for the train to come. When it does, I automatically start running. I feel the wind combing through my hair and the stretch and burn of my muscles. For a moment, I just run for the sheer pleasure of wind racing with me, a wide smile sneaking onto my face. I let out a light laugh before pushing harder against the ground with my feet.

I reach out and pull myself up, my arm shaking a little at how hard it is for me. I look up and freeze as I see Zander, Izzy, Sasha, Josh and Dean in the same train car as I am. I curl into myself a little before sitting in the corner. I stare blankly at my arms, my head lowered and submissive. I trace the invisible scars on my arms, remembering the pain of broken skin.

Anger surges through me again and I raise my head, ignoring the small group sitting by Tabby. I stare out the window and see my reflection. My cheeks are thin and hollowed. My eyes are blank and dull. My hair hangs limp and greasy. My lips are thin and cracked.

I look like a skeleton.

My breath catches in my throat as disgust washes over me. Oh, how the mighty have fallen. I remember how optimistic I was when I first jumped on this train. When I made a promise with a group of Dauntless born initiates. I remember how stupid I was, thinking I could trust them. The rules of trust that applied in Erudite apply here: You can't trust anyone._ (One exception...)_

I can't believe I forgot.

**XXX**

When the trains starts slowing, I slowly get up.

Outside, the broken buildings are gone and instead their are wide open fields past a metal fence with barbed wire lining the top. My eyes eagerly roam the sight and I don't even flinch when Four stands beside me. I follow behind him as he jumps off the train, having to run a few steps but not falling down. I get a vicious flash of satisfaction when I see I was among the few to stay on their feet.

I follow behind Four, allowing myself to flag behind the rest of the group. I find myself beside the two Abnegation transfers. They are also at the bottom of the list. I guess the three of us will be loosing our life at Dauntless.

As we walk to the fence, a couple of trucks pull up. I look inside and see crates of apples and carrots. As I help unload them, I need to take deep breaths as my throbbing muscles protest to work.

"Pazia? Paz?" I freeze as I hear the familiar sleek voice. I slowly turn and a wide smile spreads across my face as I spot him.

"Jett?" I ask before racing to him. "Jett!" I squeal, body slamming into him. His breath leaves him with a whoosh as he wraps his arms around me. Jett is here. He is finally here. He holds me tight against his unusually muscular body with a familiar strength.

"Paz! Jeez! Are you trying to kill me? I think you broke a rib!" He jokes, his familiar dark eyes lighting up with amusement and his full mouth twisting into a smirk. I drop down, landing on my feet; my heart racing in my chest. I eagerly look him over, feeling awake for the first time in a while. I pull him into a hug again, feeling the warmth seep through our shirts and comfort me.

"I missed you." I tell him softly, biting my lip to keep my tears from falling. Something shifts inside me and I feel more awake than I have in a long time. Being with Jett has always made me feel stronger. I sigh into his neck and his arms tighten around me even more. He lifts me off my feet and twirls me around, laughter rumbling in his chest.

"No shit. I missed you too. It has been hard not seeing you for so long." Jett admits, stopping the twirling, a lock of his dark hair falling into his eyes. I brush it back and grin up at him, my hand lingering on his masculine face.

"It'll be better now. I've been searching for you at the Dauntless compound but I haven't been able to find you and now I know why." I confide in a low voice, looking up at him from my lashes. His familiar dark gaze flicks over my face, concern wrinkling his brow at the changes he sees.

"Yeah." He winces apologetically. "My squad was just assigned the day before the transfers were brought in. We only have a couple of more days here and then we are coming back and switching with another squad." Jett explains and I grin brightly up at him, hope bursting in my chest like a firework.

"Wow. So you are going to make me go a few more days without you after I just found you again?" I question teasingly and he laughs at me, tapping one of my pouting lips. He gently strokes my jawline and I nuzzle his palm like a cat.

"Sorry kid, but that's the way of life." He sighs dramatically. "You have to miss out on my amazing personality." He teases back and laughs, dodging my punch as I drop from his arms. I try to scowl at him but it refuses to stick and instead a beaming smile is on my face. "There it is!" He points out and I frown at him leaning forward into his open arms.

"There what is?" I ask, tilting my head to the side, resting my chin on his chest, and wrapping my arms around his waist as he wraps his arms around mine. He grins fondly down at me, lifting a hand to tug on a lock of my hair. His other palm is pressed against my spine and holds me close.

"That gorgeous smile." He says seriously before flashing a charming grin at me. I make a playful face at him before dancing away as he lunges at me. His eyes are lightening to a dark grey, happiness gleaming in his eyes as it is in mine. His sleek, muscular body is faster than mine right now so I am just chasing him while he dodges around. He catches me around the waist, lifting me off my feet and I laugh, throwing my head back onto his shoulder as he slowly lowers me to the ground. I turn around, resting my hands on his pecs. I widen my eyes, feeling the rock-hard muscles.

"Damn Bean Pole! You sure have grown up!" I exclaim and he grins, lowering his head closer to mine, brushing his cheek to mine.

"What did you expect? It's been ages since we have seen each other last!" He says playfully, tugging on my lip with a long finger and pulling it away from my nibbling teeth. I snap playfully at his fingers and he flicks my nose with a finger. I open my mouth to respond in an equally teasing manner but Four interrupts.

"11! Get over here and help the rest of the transfers. This is not the time to be socializing!" Four shouts and I freeze before rolling my eyes.

"Coming!" I shout and turn to Jett, my heart lighter than it has been in forever. But his gaze has darkened some more with concern as he tucks my hair behind my ear and cups my face, his eyes flicking over my face.

"11? What's with that?" He asks and I bite my lip. I avoid his eyes, knowing I lie to him as awfully as I lie to myself.

"Um-" I hesitate and he tenses against me, ripcord muscles rippling with the motion.

"No!" He hisses, realization dawning in his eyes. "Why the fuck are you at the bottom? You should be at the top! What the hell Paz?" Jett exclaims angrily, backing away and I shrug. I duck my head and look at my fingers, worrying my lip again.

"I guess...You know how it was when I was five and Father started- you know." I start to explain and he freezes, a dangerous glint lighting up in his eyes.

"Is someone hurting you? Because I swear I will fucking kill them-" He snarls, starting to move past me and I catch his arm, tugging him to a stop and digging in my heels. He fixes a dark glare on the other transfers and I can't hold him for much longer. Four turns around and his gaze locks on the two of us. He raises an eyebrow and despite it not being helpful at the time, I note that he does that a lot. Like-a lot, a lot.

"11!" Four shouts again and I glare at him angrily.

"A _moment_ please!" I snap back, shock at the rudeness of my tone keeping him from responding. The other initiates turn and stare at me, amazed at the balls it took to yell at our trainer. Their eyes widen at the sight of Jett straining against me. I dart in front of Jett and press a hand to his chest, trying to get him to calm down. Eric turns around, taking the scene in one swift glance, questioning Four. Taking the chance while he is distracted, I turn back to Jett, determined to do damage control.

"No! I just lost a few fights and I'm not very good at shooting." I tell him, my shoulders slumping. "I'm at the bottom Jett. I'm scared I'm gonna be Factionless." I whisper and he hugs me tight. Protectiveness in every line of his body. I can tell he is glaring at the group from over my head but let it pass as I snuggle into his shoulder.

"Not gonna happen. I know you, okay Paz? You just need to pull your head out of your ass and not let your defeats get the better of you. Where is that stubborn streak fifty miles wide?" He asks, pulling back and looking deep in my eyes. I crack a smile, relief at his faith in me spreading through my body. "You got this Paz. Don't give up...I need you to fight as hard as you fucking can. Okay? Promise?" He asks, his dark eyes serious and I nod.

"I promise Jett. I guess...I just lost my way for a while there. I missed you and I kept loosing and-" I cut myself off and sigh before setting my jaw and squaring my shoulders. "Fuck it." I tell him, my blue eyes serious. "I can do this. I bet you by the time you are back I will be in the top five." I wager playfully and he grins, chucking me under the chin.

"I bet you will be in the top three." He counters and I grin back, pulling him into another hug. "You got this. Go show them who's boss!" He calls as I jog back over to the group. Eric eyes me icily but I meet him head-on. For once, I don't pause at his blue-grey eyes, brawny body and chilling glare.

"Sorry 'bout that!" I flash a grin, clearly showing I'm not. "Old friend. You know how it is." I chirp before pausing and eyeing them. They are both stiff, the dislike crackling in the air between them. "Or maybe you don't." I shrug, completely at ease since I got my fill of my best friend.

"Just get to work 11." Four orders and I mock-salute, snapping my heels together.

"Sir, yes, sirs!" I bark before grinning and ruining the stern picture I made saluting. I turn and stride over to the trucks, my blue eyes focused for the first time in a month. I start unloading the truck, ignoring the looks the other transfers are giving me. With the new life breathed into my veins, I ignore my weak muscles and we finish unloading. We gather around Four and Eric. The latter eyeing me darkly.

"The train is here in twenty minutes. I suggest you get ready to board." Eric demands angrily and a few of the initiates shift uneasily. I automatically twist and search out Jett. He looks up, meeting my gaze and grinning. I stick my tongue out at him but he is working so I don't go over to him. I smirk and plop down on the grass, laying back and lounging without a care in the world. I stare up at the sky, letting the sun warm me. Three minutes later, I sit up, hearing Tabby's loud, annoying laugh. I spot her talking to Jett and narrow my eyes, getting up. Possessiveness flares in my chest and I meet Jett's gaze. He grins, walking around her and holding out his arms.

I beam at him, racing over to him. Used to this, Jett steps forward, knowing what I will do. As a result, when I launch myself in the air, he is prepared. He catches me effortlessly as I wrap my legs around his waist. He boosts me up so I am eye level and I smirk into his dark, laughing eyes as I lay my arms around his neck. His hands are warm on the bottom of my thighs and I grin as I notice he is able to hold me up much better than a year ago. I marvel at the changes in my best friend as I play with the soft hair at the nape of his neck. Jett's eyes are half-closed as he leans in happily. I grin up at him, brushing my cheek against his again in a gesture of fondness.

"What the hell are you doing?" Tabby spits at me, clearly thinking I will cower and walk away. I feel a brief flash of shame that I let myself fall so far but shove it away. Now really isn't the time. I meet her gaze head on, possessiveness and glee lightening my cobalt eyes as I tighten my legs around Jett's waist.

"I want you to leave us alone." I demand, gesturing at Jett and I. He nuzzles my neck and I cringe away, giggling softly.

"Why should I? I was here first. Besides-" She smirks at me before looking at Jett. I know what she is trying to do before she even says it and a triumphant smirk crosses my face. Doubt clouds her eyes for a second before she continues. "Only if he tells me to go." She simpers at him and I laugh, loud and free. Jett's chest rumbles against mine as his hands tighten on my thighs.

"Okay, one. I have had him for _years_, therefore_ I_ came first. And second, Jett?" I ask sweetly and he grins down at me, chucking me playfully on the chin.

"You sure?" He asks, knowing I have a vindictive streak a galaxy wide and loving it. I grin and nod, knowing he will go along with me. He hardens his face and looks at her. "Leave." He orders, his voice soft and dangerous. She stiffens and backs a step, her bodies natural flight instinct kicking in and I laugh obnoxiously again. Gawd, I love Jett. Tabby turns her venom on me, embarrassment two burning spots on her cheeks.

"You!" She spits at me and I smirk, unwrapping my legs from Jett's waist, dropping down and sauntering forward. I stop right in front of her, lean forward and deliberately push her with my hand. She stumbles back from the push, anger lighting up her hazel eyes. She clenches her fists, ready to step forward and attack me. Sensing that, Jett flanks me on my right, a dangerous look in his dark eyes. She falters, clenching her jaw and flicking her gaze between the two of us.

"Yeah, I suggest you _don't _do what you are thinking of." Jett snarls, stepping slightly in front of me. I roll my eyes, a teasing grin edging my lips. I rest a hand on his tense back and peak around him.

"You heard him." I say, just as softly and just as dangerously. "Leave." My eyes harden and she pales a little, not used to being challenged by not one but two different people, especially me.

"Just you wait. Next fight, I will take you down where you belong. Out of Dauntless." She snaps back, her eyes hardening and I wipe my face of emotion. I step forwards, Jett at my side and give her a slow chilling smile.

"Bring it."

**XXX**

After we get rid of Tabby, I turn to Jett eagerly.

"Well?" I ask expectantly and he smiles, knowing what I want. "Jett!" I whine, tugging on his shirt and he roll his eyes, dipping a hand under the collar of his shirt and pulling out a silver chain with a pendent dangling from it. I smile softly, taking it from his fingers. The pendent is a phoenix. The phoenix is silver and the design is immaculate. The details on it are incredible. The phoenix's wings are spread and it conveys a feeling of a fierce, wild and un-tamable spirit. That is what I want to be.

I snuck it to Jett's parents last year to give him during his Visitation Day.

"I haven't take it off." He whispers, gently cupping my hands in his. I smile up at him, my eyes twinkling happily.

"I know." I stand on my tip-toes, wrapping him in a hug again. He grasps me around my waist and spins me around. I squeal happily, my head falling back and my hair falling out of its braid. The dark curls tumble down my shoulders and frame my face. He grins.

"That's more like it." He says softly, twirling one of my curls around his finger. I tug him closer to the group but far enough away they can't hear what we are saying. I push him down so he is laying on the grass and curl into his side. He runs his hands through my hair and I hum with contentment as I close my eyes, pushing my head into his hands and he laughs. "You always did love it when I messed with your hair." He teases, tugging on a lock. I lift my head and rest my chin on my chest, blinking lazily at him. I twist and stretch out, draping a leg over his and hugging his chest.

"Course I did. Yours was the only touch I never feared." I confide in him and he smiles helplessly at me. I twist onto my back, stretching my legs out and squirming backwards until my head is resting on his chest. He drapes his hand over me and I flip his palm over, tracing the lines like I used to. We rest there contently, chattering about what we have missed with each other.

"-and it _freaked _me out! I swear I thought I was going to die!" He laughs, talking about his first fight. I grin and laugh engagingly, twisting so I am looking up at his face.

"Did you scream?" I ask and he lifts his head to raise an eyebrow. "Like a girl?" I tease, a playful expression in his eyes. "Huh Bean Pole?" I ask and squeal as he twists, pulling my body with his. He cradles my head and shoulders, my legs now hanging over his side as he cuddles me close to his chest. I laugh with him, really having missed this.

Missed him.

"Initiate!" I flinch a little and Jett cuddles me closer, twisting his fist in my hair. "Get up and get over here!" Eric barks, and I can tell he is in a pissy mood again. I sigh and pout, popping out my lower lip. Jett laughs, tugging on my lip.

"I see he is still as much of a hardass as he used to be." Jett jokes and I give him a blank stare.

"That's an understatement." I tell him dryly and he barks out laughter. "No really! Understatement. Of. The. Century. Congrats!" I joke dryly and Jett laughs, standing up and picking me up, setting me on my feet.

"I gotta get back to work. I'll see you in a few days." He grimaces, pressing his forehead to mine. "A week and a half." He mumbles and I curve my body around his in a last hug.

"Bye Bean Pole." I pout and pull away.

"Later Butterfly." He teases and I brighten as he walks away.

"You remembered!" I call and he spins around, winks and then jogs back to his post. Laughing under my breath and shaking my head, I rejoin the group, plopping on the ground. I pull a leg close and keep my other knee bent, draping an arm over it while I tear apart a piece of grass.

Despite my seemingly casual pose, I can still feel Eric's gaze drilling into the side of my head. I finally raise my gaze to his and he raises an eyebrow, flicking his gaze over to where Jett is and back. He is asking me what the hell that was. I frown, wondering why even wants to know. In the month and two weeks I have been with Dauntless-aside from in the beginning, he has payed no attention to me.

I raise an eyebrow back before turning my gaze away. The grass rustles for a second and I look up. Copper hair shinning in the sun and sapphire eyes meet mine before she blushes and looks away. Ellie was from Amity and I remember the girl I helped after we Chose Dauntless and she needed help getting onto the train tracks.

I eye her curiously and she smiles shyly, waving a little. My eyebrows shoot up, considering we are sitting less than a foot away from each other. She blushes, ducking her head and I know my eyes are laughing silently. If I remember correctly, she is 9th in the rankings and when we are ranked in with the Dauntless born initiates, the both of us are in the bottom six. I tilt my head to the side, still watching her but my gaze is distant.

I will have to do a lot of work when I get back. I don't want to push myself too hard because then I will be too sore to fight and that wouldn't help me at all. I am going to have to fight in a more evasive manner against the ones that are stronger than men, which is everyone except for the two Abnegation transfers. I let out a huge breath, worrying my lip again.

I don't know how I am going to do this.

"Up initiates. The train is coming!" Eric shouts and we scramble to our feet. Over the loud and growing louder rumbles of the train, I hear Jett calling my name and twist around. He slides to a stop right in front of me and pulls off his necklace, setting it around my neck.

"A promise." He says in my ear. "Just give it back next time you see me." He wraps me in one last hug before pressing a kiss to my temple and backing up. I grin at him, adoration radiating in my eyes before I turn and start running. In the middle of the pack, the wind racing through me, I can forget that we are all competing against each other as we all tumble into a train car. I settle against the wall by the door, looking out at the fading form of my best friend and optimism flares in me.

Jett believes in me.

I pick up the silver pendent and cradle it in my palm, a soft smile spreading across my face. It is still warm from Jett and I tuck it under my top, right next to my heart. I drape my arms over my knees, hooking my fingers together as I lean my head back and close my eyes.

I can do this.

Because Jett believes in me.

* * *

Silence rings around the room as I back away from Taylor, the Abnegation female.

Her limp body rests on the mat, a bruise spreading on her cheek from where I hit her. I meet Eric and Four's gaze as I step off the mat. My first win. I would feel triumphant but I don't have the feeling. There is no triumph in winning against a weakling like her. Instead, I just feel a sense of steel envelope me as I meet Tabby's gaze. She meets my eyes steadily but I can still see the shock in her eyes from my quick and vicious attack on Taylor.

The kid didn't even get in two hits before I swept her feet out from under her and got her with a quick hit to her temple. I rejoin the group before separating myself and leaning against a wall. As the next fight starts, I keep my dark blue eyes trained on on them, studying their every movement. Sam is fighting against Tabby and he has the same desperate look on his face as he did on our first night here.

He is muscled but not tall and I know his bulk will slow him down. Tabby on the other hand will not be slowed down because of her smaller build. She will be faster and I know she uses that to her advantage. As I watch, Tabby taunts him, dancing around his slower form. Sam throws a punch but she smoothly dodges and hits him hard in the neck.

He drops to his knees, desperately grabbing at his throat and trying to breath. A bored look on her face, Tabby knocks him out with a harsh kick to the head. Her gaze meets mine as she confidently saunters back to the group. I keep my gaze blank and paste a look of fear in my eyes. Her smirk widens and I roll my eyes when she turns her back.

Since we left Jett, I have been slowly making her think I am afraid of her. When we fight, our small sizes will be evenly matched and so I will need every advantage I can get. I refuse to lose this fight. Someone leans against the wall beside me. I look over at Ellie and she smiles. Ever since that day I saw Jett, Ellie has been my shadow. She follows me around, wanting to be my friend and despite myself, it is working.

She is smart and always optimistic. Our smaller sizes ensure we stick together, for our own protection. I push away from the wall as we are dismissed from the room and Ellie follows close behind. As soon as we are free from Tabby's condescending gaze, the meek posture is gone. Our shoulders straighten as we raise our heads and lengthen our strides. My Erudite mask comes in handy as I use it to hide what I am really feeling. Ellie doesn't really have that advantage but showing cheer in the face of someone stronger can sometimes be the best defense and it works for her.

We stride confidently through the tunnels and make a few turns before arriving at a hidden room. I open the door and lock it behind us. Inside the room is bare but we have been using it in creative ways. At one point the room must have been a storage room but now it is not. It used to be heavily dusted but since we have been using it, it has cleared up some. I start jogging around the medium sized room. As I jog, Ellie follows and we are forced to duck and dodge the protruding shelves. I grin, it is perfect but when I start to get complacent with the room, I lead a jog through the tunnels.

It is better because I am forced to keep my footing in the dark, dodge other people and make sure I don't loose my way. At dinner I have started eating the foods that will give me the most energy and strength. I have already started to build muscles but I know I still need more. I use the shelves as something to do pull ups on and my arms are stronger.

I speed up into a run around the room before abruptly dropping and doing 15 push-ups and then jump to my feet and start running again. The entire time, I am shadowed by my Amity friend. By the time we are finished with the exercises in the room, we are panting and my large shirt is clinging to the sweat on my body. I pull the door open, waiting until Ellie slips out and lock it behind us, slipping the key into my bra.

We jog through the tunnels and back to the room. I grab my stuff and quickly shower, slipping into a big shirt, baggy pants and the shoes identical to the ones I was just wearing as Ellie keeps watch. I run a brush through my hair really quickly and notice how long it has gotten. It is almost touching my butt. I pull it into a ponytail and leave the bathroom and wait patiently on my bed while Ellie showers.

We have started guarding the bathroom for each other so there is no repeats of the 'accidental' sneak peaks the guys have been getting. She shyly leaves the bathroom, her long copper hair hanging down her back. I gesture her over and she sinks down in front of me, silently handing me a brush.

I brush out her hair gently, swiftly braiding it down her back. I finish and tie it off before flicking the back of her head. She twists around and pouts at me while I silently laugh back. This feels like a sibling bond. I have never had it with a girl before and even though Ellie and I are both sixteen, we both get the undeniable feeling she is the younger sibling. I gently tug on her braid as I get up and move to the door.

She puts her stuff away and jogs to catch up as we make our way to the Pit. We get our food and start scarfing it down, our gazes meeting. One thing I have found out is we are both fiercely competitive. We both start increasing the speed of shoveling the food in our mouths before giggling at each other. Ellie pouts at me, blue eyes mock-sad and I pout back, sticking my tongue out. She gags and I laugh, my dark blue eyes lighting up.

Ander slides into a seat beside us, his frame large beside my smaller form. Ander is a welcome change. He has been working with us on getting our body muscle up and fighting against an opponent that is larger than ourselves. Which is pretty much everyone. I marvel at the change.

Just last week I was alone and I now have two friends that I see can't keep their eyes away from each other. I catch Ellie's eye and raise a suggestive eyebrow. She blushes, suddenly interested in her food. I snicker before stifling a gasp as her foot connects with my shin. She perks up, considerably happier and I roll my eyes but let it slide. Bratty little shit.

It feels good to not be so alone anymore.

After we eat, we leave the Pit and wander through the tunnels, looking at a few stores. We look at some clothes but in the end don't buy anything. I spot the tattoo place and head inside, my friends flanking me. We split up, browsing the tats.

"Hey!" I call, catching the attention of the fierce lady with the slanted eyes and dreads. A part her hair over her ear is shaved away and tattoos cover her arms.

"Hey. I'm Tori. What do you want?" She asks and I shake my head.

"Nothing yet, I was just wondering if you have an idea where I can get a pad of paper? I have a few ideas and I wan't to get them down." She eyes me with speculation before nodding.

"Wait here." I nod and turn back to the tattoos. She has talent. Her tattoos are incredible but I don't want my tattoos to be the same as anyone elses. I want mine to be one of a kind. After I browse through a few but I ultimately decide I was right in not getting any until after I finish stage one. I look up and spot Tori with a pad of paper and a little black bag. She hands both to me and I raise an eyebrow.

"Thanks. What do I owe you?" I ask and she grins, her fierce demeanor softening a little.

"The right to see your ideas when you are done and the right to put your tats on you." She bargains and I laugh, nodding and holding out a hand.

"You have a deal. Thanks again!" I call as she moves away and she casually raises a hand, not bothering to look back. I laugh and head over to my friends. "Ready to go?" I ask and they jump, moving away from each other. I grin and watch them with raised eyebrows. Finally, Ander rolls his eyes and crosses his arms petulantly.

"Shut up." He mumbles and I laugh at them as we leave. I bump into someone and glance up.

"Sor-" I cut myself off as I meet blue-gray eyes. Eric stares down at me before flicking his gaze to Ellie and Ander. He doesn't bother saying anything and strides past us into the tattoo shop. I turn back to my friends and roll my eyes at the way they are waggling their eyebrows at me. "Shut up." I mutter and they burst into laughter, wrapping their arms around me. I stumble a little, a fond smile crossing my lips.

We wander through a few shops before I see a hair place. A girl comes out with streaks in her hair and my eyes widen and a gleeful smile crosses my face.

"Let's go!" I pull them both into the shop and look around. I see a few cute hairstyles but they are too cute for me. I look at the colors and a grin spreads across my face. Ellie holds up a pixie cut hairstyle and I shake my head, wrinkling my nose. "Not for me but it would look perfect on you." I reassure her and she grins.

"I want this then!" A lady nods and pulls her away.

"Hey, can I get these colors done in my hair?" I ask the blue-haired lady and she nods, a grin on her face.

"Sure, how do you want them?" I tell her and she grins at me. "You are in the right hands."


	4. Chapter 4 - War Games, Zip-lining & Jett

A/N: Disclaimer: I don't own the Divergent world. I only own Pazia. (Pronounced: Pah-ze-ah.) All outfits are on my profile. This story is set after Four and Eric became Dauntless but the year before Tris became Dauntless.

**_Rating:_** _M_

**_Word_**_** Count:** 10, 141_

Dauntless reviews are always appreciated!

This was previously chapters 5 and 6.

Battle Scars Honorary Mentions Ch 5 - Reviewers: Sarcasmes and Snowball A. K. A. WinterWolf!

Sarcasmes - Thanks! Sorry for the long wait!

Snowball A. K. A. WinterWolf - I am glad you love my story so much! Sorry for the wait!

Thanks so much to Atsirk Enoh, Jaimeebiggs0, Ali07241997, Raven1300, sweetsweetsacrifice, JJgirl9, ironwidow, KoreanLove1998, KrisDawnRulez, Sarcasmes, Angi Marie, Snowball A. K. A. WinterWolf, Aaltje, proofreadyourshit!

Battle Scars Honorary Mention Ch 6 - I would just like to send a thank you to saffronautumnbulljones and Ain'tEasyBeingBreezy!

Just FYI, this is the longest chapter I have ever posted. So...I suggest you reward me with a review. Just sayin. AND, I might be inclined to type out a Eric/Paz lime if you do...

**Chapter Four**

* * *

_**Previously on Battle Scars:**_

_'I miss you Jett, why haven't you come to see me yet?'_

_..._

_"Our trainer told us who we hang out with could affect our score and rankings." Izzy explains, lowering her head a little._

_..._

_I lower my head again as I walk past him and leave the room._

_The fog falls over my mind again and this time I welcome it like an old friend._

_..._

_"Initiate!" I flinch a little and Jett cuddles me closer, twisting his fist in my hair. "Get up and get over here!" Eric barks, and I can tell he is in a pissy mood again. I sigh and pout, popping out my lower lip. Jett laughs, tugging on my lip._

_..._

_"Hey, can I get these colors done in my hair?" I ask the blue-haired lady and she nods, a grin on her face._

_"Sure, how do you want them?" I tell her and she grins at me. "You are in the right hands."_

* * *

"All right Initiates! Time to get up!" I jerk awake as Eric's loud voice registers in my brain. "Get up! Get dressed! Now!" I sit up, wincing as the lights hit my eyes. I rub my eyes sleepily, taking the chance to stretch and yawn. I raise my arms over my head and arch my back, sighing as my back pops.

"What the hell is going on?" I ask irritably, getting out of bed and crossing my arms. Eric snaps his head around to meet mine, his mouth open to answer me but he pauses as his eyes roam over me. His steel eyes darken as his eyes sweep over my bare legs, where my shirt is hanging off my shoulder and linger on the necklace hanging at my throat. Silence falls in the dorms as everyone else looks at me. "Well?!" I ask prissily and Ellie snorts above me. "Take a picture, it'll last longer!" I snap at Mike as he ogles my bare legs. I am only dressed in a black shirt that barely reaches past my thighs.

"We don't have time for this!" Four says, stepping forward and only casting my hair a cursory glance. "Get dressed!" He barks out and we start moving. Ellie swings down from the top bunk and pulls on some clothes. Once again, I grin as I notice how cute and delicate she looks with her spiky pixie cut. I ruffle her hair and she ducks away, rolling her sapphire eyes. I seem to have developed a fascination with her adorable shorter copper hair.

I pull on a pair of clingy black pants with cuts spaced out down the legs and a black tank top. I sit on the bed to pull on my black and white shoes and tie them. I get up and my phoenix necklace swings out to land on my chest. I run a hand through my hair and smirk at Tabby. She glares venomously at me and I wiggle my fingers mockingly at her. She scowls and turns her back on me while I silently laugh.

My hair has a subtle purple on it and it only comes out under the lights so no one can see it...or at least it would be like that but I wanted more. I also got red, orange, blue, green and yellow streaks spaced out in my hair. I have also been allowing my natural curls loose, so my hair is curled, glossy and colorful. As the rest of the transfers get dressed, I lounge on my bed making comments to fluster them, Ellie laughing beside me.

"Whoa Andy, who knew you looked good without a shirt?"

"Taylor! You aren't a boy with long hair after all!"

"Ander! Do me a favor and keep the shirt off. I prefer the view that way!" And so on.

By the time they are all finished, the only ones who aren't blushing are me and Ellie. Tabby has high spots on her cheeks that are more from anger than embarrassment. I have a satisfied and smug smirk on my face as I hop off the bed and we file out of the room. As soon as I am in the tunnels, I start to jog to the train tracks. Ellie and Ander easily keep up with me, used to moving quickly in the dark tunnels. We are as comfortable in the tunnels as the Dauntless born.

Behind me, I can hear a few of the other transfers stumbling and cursing as they try to keep their feet in the dark. I don't bother to stop and help them though. Why should I? They never bothered to help me when I was feeling down. Ellie, Ander and I make it out to the tracks a few minutes before the rest do.

I notice it is still dark out with no hint of the sun. The sky is a velvety black only broken by the twinkling stars. I allow my head to fall back as my eyes drink in the sight. Behind me, I can hear a group jogging out of the tunnels and I know it isn't the rest of the transfers. They couldn't jog through these tunnels without falling down.

I don't bother to turn and face them, instead I look at the piles of guns and trigger guards and the stacks of boxes beside it. I read it and see it says "PAINTBALLS." I grimace, not liking this. Even though I have been advancing in the fighting, I still suck at shooting a gun. I turn and face the Initiates and run my eyes over Zander, Josh, Dean, Izzy and Sasha.

Sasha smiles at me but I don't return it. Zander makes his way over to me but doesn't get the chance to say something as Ander and Ellie step in front of me with venomous glares. I grin at them but can't say anything as, seeing the rest of the initiates make their way out of the tunnels, Eric moves forward.

"All right Initiates! Everyone grab a gun and a box of ammo." His voice is husky but still dark and the combination makes me tense up in the most delicious of ways. For a second the group stares at Eric so I roll my eyes and make my way forward again, Ellie and Ander following. I pick up a gun and sling it across my body, grabbing a box of ammo and slipping it in my back pocket. Behind me, the rest of the initiates make their way forward to grab their gun and ammo.

"Time?" Eric asks Four and he glances at his watch.

"4 minutes. When are you going to memorize the schedule?" Four asks and Eric grins at him.

"Why should I when I have you to do it for me?" He shoves Four's shoulder and for a moment I see a comradeship there that I haven't seen before as Four rolls his eyes. A loud whistle growing louder makes me look to the side. I spot a circle of light growing brighter and bigger the closer it gets. A wide grin spreads across my face as I get ready for the train to arrive.

As it starts to speed past me, I start to run, letting out whoop of excitement. Ellie, Ander and I push ourselves to run faster as the train roars by. We wait and run just for the hell of it, letting out whoops of excitement at being so close to something that could kill us oh-so-easily.

Behind me, I hear echoes of my excitement. Finished with running, I reach out and grab the handle, effortlessly swinging myself in and landing lightly on the balls of my feet. I turn and move to the side as Ellie, Ander, Eric and Four launch themselves in. The not-so-simple act always astonished me with how graceful someone can be when it is done right. Even Eric's hulking mass is light as he lands and the power in the action makes a heat start up in the apex of my thighs as I suck on my lower lip. Eric meets my gaze head on and his eyes darken more than normal as he watches me suck my lip. I release it with a pop and smirk playfully at him as I lean against the side, right by the door. Ellie leans beside me, stifling a small yawn.

The rest of the initiates swing in and move over to where our two trainers are as I stay by the door with Ellie and Ander. I ignore Dean's gestures for me to move away from the door and instead lean against the wall. The wind whips my hair around and I pull it back and over my shoulder. Small tendrils escape and I watch as the multicolored strands dance in the wind.

Ellie shivers and cuddles into my side, seeking my bodies warmth. I smirk at Ander and he flushes, rolling his eyes. I open my mouth as I silently laugh at him. He massages the back of his neck as he studiously ignores me. Four starts to speak and I look up, my dark blue gaze meeting Eric's icy blue. He doesn't look away and neither do I. I hold his intense gaze and listen to Four at the same time.

"Listen up! We are playing a game of Capture the Flag. We will have two teams with an even bunch of both Dauntless born initiates and transfers. One team gets off first to hide their flag then the second team will do the same. This is one of the Dauntless traditions so I suggest you play this seriously." Four says, crossing his arms and pulling his shirt tight against his chest. For a second I look away from Eric to admire the sight.

A small smirk crosses my face before it is gone. When I look back at Eric, anger is harsh in his eyes. I know my eyes are dancing teasingly as I smirk. He glares back, he large arms crossed over his chest and projecting an aura of an alpha male. Like always, the display makes me shift, trying to subtly rub my thighs together to relieve the tension. Now it is his turn to smirk at me before turning away.

"What happens when we win?" Tabby asks, sitting beside an uncomfortable looking Izzy. "Does that get us anything? Like will it help our rankings?" She asks and I snort, shaking my head. She glares at me angrily. "What?" She snaps and I shift forward, my feet planted firmly on the floor of the train and feeling the power of the working metal. It does nothing to calm my raging hormones.

"Nothing." I shrug a shoulder and run a hand through my hair as I lounge lazily back against the wall, Ellie latching onto my arm. "That just sounds like something a Erudite would ask." I say, sneering at her and she flushes. "Not something a Dauntless would ask." I gaze pointedly at her and she starts to get up, anger flaring in the depths of her hazel eyes.

"Like you are so much better?! You think we don't see how Erudite you still are?" She spits back but Zander holds out an arm, preventing her from moving forward.

"Leave it." Josh orders, his voice hard and the others nod in agreement. She stares at him for a second before dropping back to her seat. I smirk at her and she clenches her jaw, her eyes flashing with pent up anger and...hurt. I raise a surprised eyebrow and she flushes, looking away at Zander. He shakes his head and she flinches. Interesting. It seems Tabby has a crush on Zander. A cruel smirk twists on my lips for a second. This will without a doubt give me the upper hand in our next sparring match.

"To answer the question, you get to win." Eric says disdainfully. "Anyone got a problem with that?" He asks and we all shake our heads. I exchange excited glances with my two friends, seeing it reflected in their eyes. "Good. One thing to remember, these aren't just paintballs. Inside each ball is a small dart that will provide a simulation of what the pain of a bullet will feel like." Eric continues but someone interrupts him.

"That's pretty cool. How does it work?" Sam (a former fellow Erudite) asks curiously, his grey eyes alight as his mind whirls behind his pretty face. I look at Ellie and Ander, rolling my eyes. We all know this isn't going to end well as a cruel smirk crosses Eric's face. Lightning quick, he grabs a gun and shoots it, hitting Sam in the leg. He collapses with a pained grunt, clutching his leg.

"Like that." Eric says threateningly, turning around. "Anyone else?" He asks smoothly, the low rumble of his voice making warmth spread through my body. I shift and his gaze catches it, his eyes locking with mine. I curse my body as a smirk spreads across his face. My eyes are dilated with lust and goosebumps ripple across my body. His eyes darken with anticipation as he turns away. "Good. Four and I are going to be the team captains." He continues, seemingly unaffected and Four steps forward. He doesn't fool me. I see the way Eric has tensed up and pride washes through me, knowing I am the cause of that tension.

"Divide the transfers first?" Four asks and Eric shakes his head. "All right, we will be dividing the Dauntless born first. Eric will go first." Four says and Eric holds his gaze for a second. Hostility burns between them before Eric nods stiffly.

"Alezander." I watch as Zander joins Eric and hope I don't go on Eric's team.

"Dean." I frown. Now I wish I could just sit out this game.

"Howard."

"Josh."

"Izzy."

"Sasha."

I tune out after they go through the five false friends.

"Now for the transfers." Eric grins at Four. "You go first." Four watches him blankly for a second before nodding.

"Paz." Eric's smirk vanishes and Four gets a faint look of smugness. I move over to Four's group, not bothering to pick up my feet and stepping on a few people. I unfold my arms as I stand by Four. Josh, Sasha and Izzy give me looks but I do my best to ignore them. As they finish picking their team members, I see Tabby was taken by Eric. Ellie is with me but I smirk dangerously at Ander and he pales.

"Are we sure we can't switch teams?" He asks randomly. Eric's head snaps around, his eyes glinting darkly.

"Is my team not good enough for you, initiate?" He growls, getting right in Ander's face. I tense possessively and step forward but Ellie places a hand on my arm. I stop, watching Eric and Ander warily. In a fight, Eric would win but I would never stand by and let that happen. Ander is _mine_ now and I won't let him be harmed. Same with Ellie. When you are mine, I take care of you and they understand that. Ander meets my gaze over Eric's shoulder for half a second and I relax. He is conveying a sense of reassurance and I trust him to know what he is doing.

"It's not that. It's her." He points at me, his Candor showing in his blunt words and Eric turns to look. "She's gonna kill me." Ander finishes and I flash a bright smile at odds with my tense body and meet Ander's gaze.

"You know it!" I raise my gun. "I'm gonna shoot you in your cute ass so many times..." I threaten and he groans, running a hand through his hair. Ellie giggles into her hands and he gives her a betrayed look that only causes her to laugh harder. A genuine grins spreads across my face and Eric watches me, his expression going blank.

"Damn Paz!" Ander exclaims and I snicker, finally relaxing a little.

"That's enough!" Eric snaps, interrupting the easy camaraderie and my smile vanishes. As we get ready to jump off the train, I move by Tabby, a wicked smirk curling on my lips.

"Hey, good luck." I tell her, a teasing glint in my dark blue eyes. She glares at me as I finish my sentence. "You're gonna need it." With that, I follow Four as we jump off the train. I tuck my head in and roll on my shoulder, smoothly popping to my feet as we land and smirk at the other gaping transfers. Ellie does the same and their amazed gazes encompass the two of us.

"Since when can you do that?" Josh asks and I flash him a flirty grin as I move by Four.

"Wouldn't you like to know?" I ask and turn to Four. "Where to first?" I ask and he watches me as he crosses his arms.

"Where do you think we should go?" He asks and I look around the flat land we are on.

"We should head to an area that is sheltered. It has to have buildings or trees, something to keep us from sight." I say, my arrogant personality falling away as a serious look over takes my features. I bite my lip as I scan the land. "We need some place complicated." I muse and then my eyes light up as I think of it. "Navy Pier." I announce, facing the group and propping my hands on my hips. "They have a maze there, it is the perfect place to hide our flag. It's that way." I point and a Dauntless born with orange and purple tips in his ash-blonde hair snorts.

"How would you know? What did you do? Memorize maps for fun?" He asks and I look at him with genuine confusion, once again my Erudite showing.

"Yeah. Haven't you ever done it?" I ask and he raises an eyebrow.

"I'm Dauntless sweetheart, not Erudite." He says pointedly and I laugh.

"Understood." I turn to Four and raise an eyebrow, unconsciously mimicking the Dauntless born boy. "Well?" I ask and he smiles in approval.

"Navy Pier it is."

**XXX**

As we start to walk east, I fall into step beside Four and ignore the looks Dean, Josh and Sasha are throwing me. I used to forgive easily, but that was before my Father ruined that for me. Now I don't forgive or forget. As we walk, I look around and when I see how close we are to Erudite headquarters, I feel a quick pang of longing for my home. In my mind, I can picture the endless library shelves full of books, quiet atmosphere and...my Father.

Abruptly I am fiercely glad I am no longer in Erudite.

We walk farther and then over a bridge and once we cross the bridge, everything changes. The buildings are crumbled and broken down, a lake of broken glass, twisted metal and concrete. As we walk, the only thing I can hear is the muffled crunch of our feet on the ground. The silence is eerie and unbroken except for our walking. The hair on the back of my neck prickles and my senses are heightening response to my agitation.

The buildings end in front of a marsh and I can see the towering form of the old Ferris Wheel. We are silent for a moment as we look at it but I lead us past it, Four keeping pace with me. I watch him out of the corner of my eye, seeing his smooth walk and the way he keeps a constant watch of his surroundings. He stays tense whenever someone is behind him, like he is afraid of getting hit.

It must be true. He was abused like I was. In that moment, I promise myself that I will get to know Four. Maybe not now but when I am a full Dauntless member.

"See something you like?" Four asks and I am thrown when I realize he is joking.

"Maybe I do." I nudge his shoulder with with mine. "Would that be such a bad thing?" I ask and he huffs a little laugh, looking over at me.

"Probably." He teases and I punch his shoulder. He massages it, approval at the force in his eyes and I snicker at him. Settling into a comfortable silence, I watch my surroundings. The buildings are bare and empty, windows closed and signs gone.

If I had to guess, I would say the people here left of their own violation. We walk past the carousel and continue deeper into Navy Pier. We reach the faded red arch that shows us the maze I was looking for. I pause and Four pauses with me as we wait for the rest of the group to catch up.

"This is the maze." I tell Four in a low voice. "Inside is a large maze and plenty of places to hide both the flag and ourselves. You guys are going to have to follow me, I memorized the maze and one wrong turn from an idiot means one less initiate." I tell him seriously and Four nods, the green glowing paint stained flag hanging out of his back pocket. I bend down and pick up a stick. "Once we are inside, we will go this way." I quickly draw the maze from memory and draw a line through it to show the way. "We should hide the flag at the center of the maze. It will not only make it harder for them to get it but make it harder for them to get out without our help." Four nods.

"Once we make it to the center, I will have the initiates surround the flag and you and I will patrol the maze to see if Eric's team makes it to us. Understood?" He asks, his dark blue eyes serious but with a glimmer of excitement showing in their depths. I hold out a hand and he clasps it, his hand strong and warm in mine.

"Understood."

**XXX**

As Four finishes explaining to the group, I load my gun with the paintballs and snap the top closed. Four faces me, slinging the gun off his shoulders and resting comfortably in his arms. He nods at me and I nod back as I lead the way into the darkness. I wince as someone snaps on a flashlight and whirl around to face them.

"Shut that off!" I snap and startled, Mike does as I say.

"But it's dark in here-"

"Dauntless don't need light." The Dauntless boy from earlier cuts in. "Paz is right. We don't need help even from light. _Dauntless_ can work without it." A blush forming on his cheeks, Mike tucks the flashlight away and raises his gun. I nod my thanks at the boy and he grins cheekily at me. I roll my eyes as I start walking again, Ellie close by my side. I notice Four looking at me and decide to mimic him.

"See something you like?" I ask and a flash of white lets me know he is grinning.

"Maybe I do." He mocks me and I shake my head. "Why haven't you been acting like this during training?" Four asks, his voice lowering and my smile fades.

"I didn't have the strength then." I mummer. "I lost my way and because of Jett I have found my way back." I explain, my eyes trained straight ahead. "I lost the will to fight after I lost that first fight. It...brought back some bad memories." Four glances sharply in my direction but I don't look at him.

"What kind of bad memories?" He asks and I cast him a disparaging look.

"The kind neither of us want to talk about." I retort and he stiffens but leaves it alone. We reach the center of the maze where a tall, creepy statue stands and Four hooks the bright flag on it.

"Everyone gather around the flag, stand with you backs to it and guns facing out. Paz and I will patrol the maze really quick and then we will be back. Protect the flag." Four orders and they nod as we take off through the maze. As we creep through the maze, I am hyper aware of every little noise and sound. I round the corner and lunge backwards as I pull the trigger. I hear a muffled curse as I hit the person but I grab Four's hand and we move away. I find a ladder and climb it, looking down at Four.

"Come on Four. We can't stay on the ground, we need higher ground to fight them." Four nods with a grimace and climbs behind me. I notice the tight grip he has on the ladder and roll my eyes. Who knew the mighty Four would be afraid of heights?

We climb on top of the metal wall and perch on top, looking over the other side. Now more than ever, I am glad I dressed in black. Four stays close behind me as I lead us back to the center of the maze. From our high position, Four and I can see Eric's people before they can see us. I freeze when I see people coming down both ways and we race back the other way. I take a turn and hear a muffled curse behind me and turn to see Four starting to fall, his eyes wide. I lunge forward and reach for his hand but get pulled over with him.

We land with a thud and my breath is knocked out of me as I lay sprawled on Four's chest. His ragged gasps only fuel on mine and our gasps change to muffled laughter. I look down at Four and giggle my fear out of my veins. Four sits up and hugs me to him and I hug him back. Our chests brush against each other as we bury our laughter in each others shoulders and I pull back.

"You okay?" I ask, my voice breathless and he nods.

"Yeah, I'm good." He says and I snort. "Really didn't expect that to happen." He admits and I nod.

"Agreed." We both fall silent as we realize the way we are positioned. I am straddling Four's lap and we are pressed chest to chest. His eyes grow more intense and for a moment, I forget where we are and what we are supposed to be doing. Slowly leaning in, we both freeze as we hear voices. Suddenly realizing what I am doing, I pull back and get up.

Four gets up too and guide us through the rest of the maze in silence. Unsure of what to make of the Incident, I decide to put it out of my mind for now. Feeling someone watching me, I glance back but don't see anyone. I proceed with more caution but don't tell Four. I don't want to be the false alarm girl.

We reach our group and Four steps ahead.

"Eric's team is here." Four says, keeping his voice low and for the first time I see how it can be attractive. "We are going to split up. Josh, Sasha, Izzy, and Raza-" Four points at the Dauntless born boy from earlier. "You will stay here and guard the flag. If you hear someone coming, taking the flag and come find me or Paz." Four splits the rest of the group and assigns me my own group. We nod at each other and then go different ways.

I lead Sam, Ellie, a girl named Misty and a girl named Violette into the maze. We walk silently and manage to take down around five of Eric's guys. I spot two more guys walking towards us and turn to my group.

"Sam and Violette, you two circle around to the left and Ellie and Misty circle the right." I order quietly and they nod before silently melting into the shadows. I go to do the same but freeze when I feel cool metal on my neck. I follow the pressure of the gun forward until I am pressed against the metal wall.

"Drop the gun." I tense when I hear Eric's deep voice but do as he says. "Raise your hands and turn around." I slowly follow his instructions and meet his icy blue gaze.

"Eric." I acknowledge and his teeth briefly flash white against the dark before his smile fades. His large form towers over mine and I can't help my bodies reaction to the blatant display of his alpha male posture. Goosebumps ripple across my skin, my blood heats up and a throbbing warmth begins in between my legs.

"Pazia." He greets me and I bristle, desperately fighting my bodies desire. It's been too long since I have been with a guy.

"It's Paz!" I snap and he grins, amused. His eyes slowly scan my body, the darkness in his eyes making my breath come faster.

"I don't care." He tells me but something feels off. He has a dark look in his eyes and considering he hasn't shot me yet, I think there is something else going on with him.

"Just shoot me already." I demand, tired of being held at gun-point. "Before my team gets back." I add, trying to put him off his game and he scowls.

"You already sent your team ahead. They won't be coming back for you." He retorts, stepping forward and pressing the metal deeper into my throat. I keep my eyes locked on his as I am pressed against the wall. His arms ripple with muscles as he presses lightly against my throat.

"Four and his team are on their way." I bluff and his eyes darken even more, this time with anger.

"Four." He spits out. "Is on the other side of the maze. He's a little busy." Eric smirks and I have to keep myself from scowling. In a flash, Eric lowers the gun and presses me against the wall with his forearm and his body. My breath catches as I feel his hard muscle flexing against my body and he grins darkly. "Four won't be saving you." Eric promises and I push against his arm, realizing someone _was_ watching me earlier. It was Eric and he is _pissed_. I don't think he liked the sight of me and Four together. Heat stirs in my veins and I freeze as I realize I am arching against him.

"Shoot me or let me go." I repeat breathlessly but he just presses closer and wedges his knee between my legs, hoisting me higher. I catch my breath as his thigh flexes against my core and he smirks. Heat pools and I know we will be doing something I will regret.

"No." He challenges me and I narrow my eyes, trying to hide the dilation of my pupils. A dominant Eric is so fucking sexy.

"What?" I ask and he smirks again.

"I said no." He repeats. "Besides-" I roll my eyes, biting back a whimper as he presses closer and hoists me higher with his thigh. "Are you even sure you _want _me to let you go?" His voice drops to a low purr and I moan, the husky sound slipping out and his eyes darken, his muscles tensing. His self-control is being tested and I don't think he can hold out for much longer. If I can just give him one tiny push...

"Yeah, I heard you but why won't you let me go?" I snap, shifting my hips against his rock hard thigh and he mockingly raises a shhing finger to his lips, his blue eyes playful.

"Because then I can't do this." He says and before I can ask, Eric is on me. I gasp as his mouth slams down on mine, starting a fight for dominance. My body's reaction overwhelms me as Eric manipulates my mouth against his, teeth and tongue fighting in a dance. The kiss deepens as he strokes his tongue against mine and I let out a whimper of shock.

Eric growls, low in his throat and I moan, pressing closer to him. He growls, the deep, masculine sound rousing me in a frenzy. I grasp his hair, tugging as his hands move to my hips with a bruising force. We are oblivious to everything around us as we engage into a deeper kiss, tilting our heads to the side. Heat floods through my body as Eric strokes the sliver of skin showing my hip and I press closer.

We pull back for a brief second before rejoining and Eric hoists me up against the wall, making me wrap my legs around his waist. He presses closer and I moan as I feel him hard against my leg. I pull back for a second, leaning my head against the wall as I gasp for breath. Taking the opportunity, Eric attacks my neck, sucking and biting as he grinds against me.

My stomach tightens as I feel the pleasure hit me like lightning, stimulating my senses. His spicy scent fills my nose and I go lightheaded as Eric sucks on the skin behind my ear. He growls again as I rake my nails down his neck, and pulls away. This time, _I_ go for his neck, nipping hard enough that the skin starts to bruise. He hisses a curse and pulls my head up as he crashes his lips to mine again.

I run my hand down his chest, feeling the rock hard muscles bunch and shiver against my touch. He groans, gripping my hair and pulling my head back. The kiss deepens again and this time it is both harder and softer; with possessive edge. I nip his lower lip and then pull away, needing breath. I notice Eric watching my heaving chest with a cocky grin and huff a laugh, shaking my head.

Typical guy.

A sound makes me twist around. In a second I have shifted gears, dropping down and darting away, melting into the shadows. Eric is close behind me, his heat distracting me. I press my back to the wall and glance around the corner. I smirk as I see Ander and aim. He yelps as a dart hits him in the butt.

"Son of a-!" He bursts out and I snicker quietly, shooting him again until he goes down. I frown as I realize I am in the center of the maze and the flag is un-guarded. I dart forward, grasping the flag and shoving it down the front of my shirt, only a little tongue hanging out. I climb up the spire and sit, waiting patiently.

A few seconds later, Eric rounds the corner. I wait as he prowls around, ignoring Ander's downed body. I grasp a small rock and toss it farther into the maze. His head snaps towards the sound he takes off, not bothering to look up. Ander growls with pain as he rolls over and gets up. I shoot him in the shoulder again and he goes down, swearing.

"Shit! Mother fucking, cock sucking!" He cusses louder as he rolls over. Zander appears and I shoot him in the throat. He doesn't have time to swear as he goes down-hard. Ander groans, staggering up and I grin evilly as I shoot him again. "NO! What the fuck?!" He shouts, pulling the dart out of his thigh. I shoot him again. "NO! Just fucking- quit it you little shit!" He shouts angrily and I laugh, swinging down and dancing over to his prone form.

"If you want it come and get it!" I tease, waving the flag in front of him before taking off. I wait around a corner and shoot him in the ass as he races past me.

"BITCH!" He shouts and I laugh as I take off. I collide with Four and he steadies me.

"I found their flag. It is in the left corner. I'll cover you. Go!" He shouts and we take off. I duck a paintball, getting little splatters on me as I shoot Dean point blank.

"Fuck!" He shouts, tossing his gun to the ground. I laugh, racing past him, Four shooting him one last time. I spot the flag and swing my gun around my body as I use it to club Tabby down and grab the flag. Four and I cheer, leading our group out of the maze. We hoot and holler, laughing and shoving each other. It surprises me, how close we all feel now that we have a win together. I spot Ander and grin, holding my gun in salute and he flips me off. I laugh giddily, Four swinging an arm over my shoulder and Raza hooking an arm around my waist.

"To the train!" I shout and we take off, leaping over obstacles, laughing and shoving each other as we race happily. Four is right in the thick of it with us, letting loose in the exuberant celebration. The train is already going by and we run beside it, swinging in and collapsing in a heap on the floor, ruffling each others hair, shoving and playfully wrestling. As soon as everyone is in, I calm our group down and raise the other teams red flag and tie it to our green flag. I walk up to Four and sling it around his neck, hanging on to the ends and looking into his blue eyes. He watches me curiously as I scan him and I slowly nod, grinning. Four grins, knowing he has been given the much sought after Brand of Paz Approval.

"Team Badass!" I shout, tossing my fists in the air and we get a resounding cheer in return. I whoop with excitement and jump at my group, Raza catching me and swinging me around. My heart is racing in my chest and I can't stop grinning.

"Let's go zip-lining!" Raza suggests and my eyes light up as I smirk.

"Let's do it!" I cheer as we all gather around the door. We shove and tease playfully as our stop comes closer. "You coming Four?" I ask teasingly and he smirks as he shakes his head.

"Nah. I'm gonna go with this group back to the Dauntless compound." He says and there are cries of outrage from the other group.

"Why don't we get to go zip-lining?" They question and Eric growls.

"Because you fucking lost!" He shouts angrily and they back away, no longer willing to argue. I grin, exchanging a glance with Ellie. She snickers happily and I laugh, throwing my head back and grinning. The group starts jumping off and I go to join them but glance back.

"Hey Eric!" I shout and flip him off, winking and jumping off, my laughter carried away by the wind. The Dauntless born start running and I exchange a WTF glance with Ellie as we throw cation to the wind and race with them. We hoot and holler, racing past startled Abnegation members, flipping off snooty Erudite as we breeze through and down a couple alley ways. In this moment, I don't even care where we are going. I am just content to...be.

I stumble a little and look over. Ellie grins cheekily at me, pleased she caught me off guard long enough to shove my shoulder. I roll my eyes at her and spot the Hancock Building looming in front of us. Without pause, the other initiates stream into the building and I follow, curiosity lighting me up as all twelve of us race into an elevator.

"All the way to the top!" Raza shouts and I grin, glad I don't have a fear of heights. I feel a flicker of unease though at the thought of what we might be doing up there. I might not have a fear of heights but I do have a fear of falling and one that can be strong enough to paralyze me.

The elevator groans and slowly jerks into movement. I grin, leaning against Ellie.

"Should we introduce ourselves?" I question and they look at me before shrugging.

"Sure. I am Ty. I was from Amity before I transferred." He smiles shyly at Ellie and I raise an eyebrow at him. He has platinum blonde hair and blue eyes. Handsome in a more traditional way but I won't have it. I cross my arms and lean back, propping a leg up.

"Don't even think about it kid. She's taken." I drawl, thinking of Ander. Ty flushes and jumps, shaking his head.

"NO! I- we used to be friends." He mumbles, embarrassed and Raza laughs, ruffling his hair.

"_Sure_!" The Dauntless born teases, his deep brown eyes teasing. His ash-blonde hair is striking with the purple and orange tips. He seems pretty cool from my dealings with him earlier in the night.

"Right, well I'm Raza." He introduces himself with a smirk. "Dauntless born." He says, casually shrugging. I envy how he takes for granted the easy acceptance Dauntless welcomes him with.

"Taylor." A small voice speaks up. "I was from Abnegation." She says, her dark reddish brown hair in a braid. Her eyes are a skittish green as she looks at each of us. I nod at her, impressed she spoke up.

"I'm Sam, in case you didn't know from when Eric shot me in the leg. I used to be from Erudite." He grumbles and we laugh, teasing him while his grey eyes lighten and he runs a hand through brown hair.

"I'm Mike. Also from Erudite." He introduces himself. His hair is a dirty blonde and he has brown eyes. From the abrupt way he introduced himself, I gather he isn't much of a talker.

"I'm Misty and this is Violette. We are Dauntless." I look at the two Dauntless born critically. Misty has yellow bangs and long brown hair and Violette has purple bangs and honey-blonde hair. They both have similar hazel eyes and I realize they must be either sisters or cousins.

"I'm Dean and this is Sasha." He grins as he introduces the feisty Dauntless initiate and she slugs him in the stomach to our resounding approval. He pulls her into a fierce kiss that has us laughing and whistling. Their eyes collide as they pull away, turquoise (Dean) and grey heating up.

"Get a room!" I shout playfully and Sasha looks at me, hope dawning in her eyes.

"We have one! Not my fault you guys are in it!" She shoots back, a question in her eyes and I let go of my hurt from before and nod at her. She grins, wrapping me in a hug and I laugh, hugging her back. Now I at least have Dean and Sasha back.

"Oy! What about me?" Josh asks and I grin, sticking my tongue out. He laughs and just like that, I have Josh back too. "I'm Josh!" He introduces himself, wrapping an arm around my neck as I lean back against the wall again.

"I'm Ellie!" Ellie says chirpily, waving happily, her blue eyes dancing happily. I run a hand through her pixie cut again and she pulls away, sighing in annoyance. I grin and wrinkle my nose at her playfully.

"And for those of you that don't know, I am Paz." I say, standing in the middle of the group of twelve. Introductions done, we start laughing and wrestling around. Finally the elevator slows to a stop and we burst out on the roof of the building, startling the roosting crows away. I look out over the sprawling, ruined building and feel a sense of awe at the destructive force of time. Broken buildings that once stood tall and proud litter the land inside our Wall and it is humbling to see.

Shouting catches my attention and I watch as Raza walks over to one of the poles. Attached to it is a thick steel cable. On the ground under it is a pile of black slings. I pick one up and feel the rough fabric.

"Whoa..." Ellie breaths and I follow her gaze. The cable winds and weaves its way over and through the buildings and along a lake. Excitement stirs through me as I realize the total danger we will be in as we fly around a thousand feet above the ground.

"I'm going first." I blurt out, anticipation welling in me as I turn to the startled group.

"You sure?" Raza asks and I nod, beaming. He nods, hooking a sling up and I lay in it and let him secure it. "Ready?" He asks and I take a deep breath, nodding. "Okay. Have fun!" He shouts and shoves me. For one dizzying second, all I can see is the ground and then I am flying. I hold my arms out and whoop, feeling freer than I ever have in my entire life. Adrenaline is racing through my veins and pumping in my heart. Everything is brighter as I zip past, louder and more- just, more. The wind whips through my hair, slapping my face and I can't stop the grin from growing on my face as I speed along.

The shaky feeling in my stomach rips a few squeals, laughs and screams from me as I weave in and around a few broken down buildings. I whirl past so fast that I can barely see what I pass by. The wind whips gleeful tears from my eyes and they spill down my cheeks before they are stolen by the wind. I start to slow down and ahead I can spot lights and cheering that grows louder the closer I get. Disappointment flares in me at the thought of stopping but that doesn't last long when I see the Dauntless members forming a net with their arms.

I tug on the latch and drop down. I scream and it turns into laughter as I am caught and lowered to my feet.

"Whoa! Let's do that again!" I shout after a moment of silence, prompting cheers and laughter. I have never felt more at home, waiting for the rest of my group and linking arms with strangers in a beautiful display of belonging. I help lower Ellie and she squeals, wrapping her arms around me in exuberance. I laugh, hugging her back.

We catch every member of our team and then travel to the Pit with the Dauntless members. I race through the tunnels with Ellie and my group at my sides and gathered around me. We whoop and laugh breathlessly as we burst through the door, our faces alight and glowing with Dauntless fire. We race to the food, gathering what we want and streaming to a table, shoving others to the side and away as we stick together. We drag two tables together so it will be long enough, a steady stream of loud chatter ensuring no one can interrupt us.

"-screamed like a pansy!" Josh shouts and explode into laughter, shoving each other playfully and cackling.

"And you should have seen his face when he landed! I though he was gonna piss himself!" I add into the commotion, Mike blushing. "Ooohh!" We tease, ruffling his hair and piling on him. It is a display of chaos, camaraderie and acceptance.

And I adore it.

* * *

Striding through the tunnels, I can't help the smirk crossing my face.

Ever since I have left Erudite, I have been...off. First loud and crazy then cowering and quiet. I was unsteady and uncertain, unsure of how I should act and who I should be. It feels good to know. I really needed Jett. He has always been able to reach me when no one else ever has. I grin. Jett will be returning to the Dauntless compound tonight. Excitement burns through me, erasing all my fears and doubts. It has always been like this.

Jett and I get together and we become unstoppable. Separate, we are still awesome but when we are together...we could rule the five Factions if we chose. I stride into the Pit and grab some food. I turn and stop as I see Izzy right behind me. She twirls her blonde and black streaked hair around a finger before dropping it as she notices me watching her.

"Hey." She smiles boldly but I detect a hint of nerves behind the gleaming white teeth. For some odd reason, I recall reading a book that told us about how animals pull back their lips to reveal their teeth as a sign of aggression. I dismiss the thought and watch Izzy, cobalt blue eyes meeting a light honey brown. Izzy fidgets a moment before sighing irritably at me. "Why are you so mad at us? You forgave Sasha, Josh and Dean!" She asks, her hands tightening on her tray. I don't bother to verbally respond to her moronic question. Instead, I raise my lip in a sneer, my cold gaze clearly showing her what I think of her stupid question and she flushes. I raise to my full height, shoulders back and chin held high as I brush past her, Izzy stumbling as I shove past her with my shoulder.

I ignore Zander as he watches with hopeful eyes. I just stride past him, unwilling to see Tabby sitting with them like I once did. The only consolation I have is my quick rise through the ranks of Dauntless. I went from being 11 to being in the top 3. The only down for that is Tabby is a spot ahead of me. Her and Ander are constantly outdoing each other.

Last week Tabby was in the top spot and then Ander swooped in and stole it so now Tabby is second and I am third. Ellie is close behind me in 4th place. I find an empty table and slide in, quickly devouring my hamburger and savoring my chocolate cake. I flick my eyes up and sure enough, Eric's icy blue eyes are focused on mine. A fleeting, coy smirk crosses my face before I get another scoop of chocolate cake and slowly eat it off the spoon.

His eyes darken and I allow myself to send him a playful wink before ignoring him.

Loud hooting and hollering makes me look up halfheartedly. (Loud displays are not uncommon in Dauntless. We are the loud _and_ the brave.) A wide grin spreads across my face when I see Jett and his squad entering the Pit. A crowd starts forming around them as they get nudged and shoved playfully, respect in everyone's eyes. It is a big deal to be a border patrol.

It means you are more than willing to give up your life. It is a huge honor to return alive but even more of an honor to return harmed. Simply because it means you were willing to fight and even kill for your Faction. Jett's dark eyes meet mine and I laugh silently as he struggles to excuse himself. He finally breaks through and ducks his head at me, a strand of his dark hair falling in his equally dark eyes.

We watch each other for a moment, smiles fading before he subtly opens his arms. I get up and race to him, slamming into him as I wrap my arms around his neck and bury my head in his shoulder. For a moment, we just stand there. Reveling in the joy of being together again. I inhale his scent, (like sunshine, the coppery tang of metal and the spice of mint.) The scent that is uniquely Jett.

"Missed me?" Jett asks lowly as I pull back. I grin up at him, cobalt eyes glinting at him as I toss my head.

"Nope, not at all. Why do you ask?" I tease, dancing away and he follows.

"Cause you know you did." He flashes a grin and I shake my head at him. Jett slings an arm over my shoulder, his warmth seeping through the cloth to me and allowing me to relax against his side as we sit at my table.

"Why would I miss you?" I ask, ducking out from under his arm. I face him, crossing my legs like a pretzel, folding my arms and tilting my head playfully to the side. I try to suppress my smile but fail as he grins, leaning his forearms on the table and crossing them. His shirt pulls tight against his shoulders and allows me to see the muscles flexing. He ignores me, a grin playing at the edges of his mouth, knowing I hate it when he ignores me.

I pout, tilting my head to the side and trying to catch his eye. Jett turns his head and I groan.

"Jett." I tug on his arm but he doesn't reply. Pouting some more, I survey him before ducking my head and wiggling under his arm, resting comfortably against his side.

"Brat." He mutters, looking down at me. I just smirk cheekily up at him and wink.

"Bean Pole." I tease and his eyes widen with horror.

"Shh!" He hisses, slapping a hand over my mouth and looking around. I laugh behind his hand, loving his reaction. "This isn't funny! If the guys find out-" He cuts himself off as my eyes glint mischievously and my lips curve into an innocent smile. "No." He says sternly. "No, no, no. You are to stay as far away from them as you can. More even." He orders and I nod obediently. He gingerly lowers his hand and I snicker.

"What are their names?" I ask and he answers thoughtlessly, stealing a fry off my tray. (Each team has an even number of males and females.)

"Kayne, Cody, Zach, Patricia, and Millie." He answers before freezing.

"Cody! Zach! Patri-" I choke off as Jett slaps another hand to my mouth. Three of the group turn to face us with confusion and the group makes their way over. Jett watches with horror as they slide into the spots around us.

"What's up?" A short guy with amber eyes, and white-blonde hair asks. Jett smiles nervously and I giggle against his hand.

"Nothing Cody." He answers sharply and I manage to pull my mouth away for a second.

"I call him Be-" Jett gets a hand over my mouth again and a stream of obscenities stream from his mouth as I laugh, tears starting to appear in my eyes. Jett tries not to smile but I see one glittering in his dark eyes.

"Don't." He warns. I pull my mouth away again and he tenses.

"Or what?" I challenge and he smirks, knowing I love two things.

1) A good challenge.

and

2) A good bargain.

"Or I won't show you a few tricks to shoot a gun." I pause, uncertain. In spite of my quick advances through the ranks, I am just barely hanging on to the third place spot because of how bad I am at shooting. I eye him before holding out a hand and nodding.

"You won't tell them?" He asks and I nod. He shakes my hand and I grin.

"You've got yourself a deal, Bean Pole." I say casually and his eyes widen as the talk stops at our table. He cringes as his team starts cackling.

"Bean Pole?" One of the girls with blue hair and brown eyes laughs so hard she starts slipping off the bench. Jett watches with horror as his team dissolves into laughter.

"Wha-!?" He splutters, turning to me and I shrug happily.

"I didn't tell them...I told you." I chirp cheerfully and he stares. "Loopholes!" I sing-song, a shit-eating grin on my face.

"I'm gonna get you!" He shouts, lunging at me. I shriek with laughter, scrambling to get away and almost tripping. I quickly round the table and eye him cautiously, holding out my hands.

"Now, now Beanie!" I call and can't stop the small giggle that slips out before I compose myself. "Let's just think rationally-" Jett lunges over the table and I shriek as I dodge, narrowly missing him. I turn and freeze. Jett has a cocky grin on his face as he straightens before stalking towards me. I watch him before squeaking and bolt just as he lunges.

I laugh as he chases and I dodge him. We end up on either side of a table and I am laughing so hard that I can only hold my arms out.

"J-Jett." I gasp, giggles bursting out. "Truce?" I ask and he relaxes a little, rounding the table.

"Never!" He calls, diving on me and I succumb to another round of gut-busting laughter as his nimble fingers find my every ticklish spot. Tears run from my eyes as I squirm in his arms, my head thrown back and and my laughter bubbling out of my throat. After a few moments of that, I run out of laughter and lean against Jett, my stomach aching with the strength of my laughter. We both stumble as we get up, acting as though we are drunk. And in a way we are. Drunk on each other.

"What is going on here?" Eric's voice rings out. I look up, my laughter ending as I see him standing there with his arms crossed. His tattoos seem harsh on his face as he glares at Jett and I. I haven't really spoken to Eric after that kiss. Though kiss seems like such a trivial word compared to what actually happened. Though it doesn't seem like Eric remembers with the icy look he is giving Jett and I. My smile fades a little as his eyes stay hard.

"We were just-" Jett begins as Four walks up.

"Doesn't matter." Eric says harshly as Four eyes us blankly. "3, back to the other transfers." He orders and I stiffen, letting go of Jett to cross my arms. Jett nudges me, approval shinning in his eyes.

"Three? Nice." He jokes and I soften, uncrossing my arms.

"Right?" I tease. "Let's go." I grab his arm and start to drag him with me but Eric steps forward.

"Not him." He says, the shadows casting him in a harsh light. I clench my jaw as I eye Eric and turn to Four.

"C'mon! Why can't Jett sit with me?" I ask and Four raises an eyebrow.

"Jett?" He asks and I grin, leaning into Jett.

"Jethro has to report to his superiors. Not socialize." Eric orders and Jett stiffens.

"I already did. Sir." He answers and I snicker at the faintly mocking tone. Eric tenses and I stop snickering, realizing now isn't really the time.

"Four-" I begin and Jett shakes his head at me. I pause, eyeing him. He nods at my questioning gaze and I grin at him, stretching up to flick his ear and turning back to Eric and Four. "Fine." I mutter and sending one last smirk at Jett, saunter over to the other transfers. I plop down and lounge back against the table, watching Jett. He stands in the soldiers stance, feet shoulder-width apart and his hands clasped behind his back.

"Who's that?" Emily asks. She was Candor, has blonde hair and brown eyes and is in 5 place just behind Mike who is fourth. I shoot her a grin.

"A friend." I answer and turn back, narrowing my eyes as I see Tabby join them. Eric tells her something and gestures to Jett and the slant of his shoulders tells me he is uncomfortable with what Eric is saying. I grab a tray (ignoring the startled shout of whoever's tray I stole) and stalk past them with the tray. I return it and stalk back, catching what Eric is saying.

"-he will be training you." Tabby smirks at me but what I say next has her smirk disappearing.

"Yeah, you _would _need the _help_." I sneer and she flushes. I smirk triumphantly and wink at Jett as I breeze past them, hearing Tabby turn down the offer. I slide into a spot at the table and a few minutes later Jett joins me.

"Ready to go?" Jett asks and I grin up at him as we get up.

"Don't you have somebody to train?" I ask, laughter tinging my words and Jett scoffs.

"Nah. She turned down the offer. Thanks for that." He grins down at me, pulling me closer with an arm over my shoulder.

"I haven't the faintest clue of what you mean." I tease innocently and we laugh as we leave. I glance back, feeling the strength of Eric's gaze boring into my shoulders. My smile fades as I meet his gaze, his blue eyes a steel gray as he clenches his jaw and turns away.


	5. Chapter 5 - Jealous Eric

A/N: Disclaimer: I don't own the Divergent world. I only own Pazia. (Pronounced: Pah-ze-ah.) All outfits are on my profile. This story is set after Four and Eric became Dauntless but the year before Tris became Dauntless.

**_Rating:_** _M_

**_Word_**_** Count:** 7, 884_

Thanks so much to chelseajade17, Whocares711, sociallyawkwardscot, ThePhantomismyLove, dianaemrys15, HPSPNDW1101, girlsacred, laser97, XXArmageddonXX, JoalCatherine, TheMorbidGal, 101Dancey, dancer4life41112 and DarkLight2589. You guys are awesome!

Dauntless reviews are always appreciated! This an entirely new chapter...reward me please. Review!

Thanks to Guest, ThePhantomismyLove and Guest for reviewing!

**Chapter Five**

* * *

_**Previously on Battle Scars:**_

_"Listen up! We are playing a game of Capture the Flag._

_..._

_"Drop the gun." I tense when I hear Eric's deep voice but do as he says. "Raise your hands and turn around." I slowly follow his instructions and meet his icy blue gaze._

_..._

_"Because then I can't do this." He says and before I can ask, Eric is on me. I gasp as his mouth slams down on mine, starting a fight for dominance._

_..._

_"Let's go zip-lining!" Raza suggests and my eyes light up as I smirk._

_..._

_We tease, ruffling his hair and piling on him. It is a display of chaos, camaraderie and acceptance._

_And I adore it._

_..._

_"Missed me?" Jett asks lowly as I pull back. I grin up at him, cobalt eyes glinting at him as I toss my head._

_"Nope, not at all. Why do you ask?" I tease, dancing away and he follows._

_..._

_I glance back, feeling the strength of Eric's gaze boring into my shoulders. My smile fades as I meet his gaze, his blue eyes a steel gray as he clenches his jaw and turns away._

* * *

I round the corner, the metal of the gun warm under my hands.

A shadow moves ahead and I raise my gun sharply, simultaneously squeezing the trigger. A brief shout of pain makes a victorious smirk cross my face before disappearing. I advance, my boots silent on the stone floors. I have my head tilted over the barrel of the gun and my eyes are wide, to draw in more light and details.

I round the corner and swear as my gun is yanked out of my hand. The next second, I block a punch, grasp my knife and have it at the throat. Their pulse is racing under my knuckles and I smirk as I push back, my eyes almost as dark as Jett's. He allows me to push him against the wall and grasp his gun, tossing it away.

Approval lights his dark eyes and a flush of pride washes over me. Then Jett twists, grasping my wrist and spinning me so my back is pressed against his warm chest. The cool metal of my knife is against my throat before I know what is going on. I struggle for a second before huffing and relaxing back against his warmth. He ducks his head and his cheek brushes mine as he speaks.

"Never assume your opponent is beaten. That can get you killed. Always be on guard. Got it?" Jett asks, his breath mingling with mine. I nod, our cheeks brushing again and I can feel him relax against me as I allow my eyes to fall closed. Despite the knife, I feel completely and totally safe with Jett. I know he would never hurt me. No matter what. And it is the same for him.

"What is going on here?" Eric steps forward, shining a bright light at us. I wince, raising a hand to shield my eyes. Jett tenses against me and I push myself back against him. He relaxes again.

"I was testing Paz. She wants to be Border Patrol and I wanted to see if she has what it takes." Jett lies smoothly and I snort, rolling my dark blue eyes as he lets his hand slip down and rest on my waist.

"I almost beat him." I inform Eric, my pulse racing as I straighten and step to the side, out of the harsh light.

"Almost isn't-" Jett begins and I roll my eyes, already knowing what he will say.

"Isn't enough. I know." I finish, smiling warmly at him. Jett's expression doesn't change but I detect a hint of amusement shinning in his eyes. In response, I quirk a playful eyebrow at him and he smirks back. Eric stiffens, watching our easy way around each other, anger flashing hard in his blue-grey eyes.

"Jethro. You are dismissed." Eric orders and Jett stiffens. I watch with wide eyes as Jett clenches his jaw, eyes flashing. Glancing at me, he gives me a slow, wide grin before nodding at Eric and leaving me alone. I take a deep breath, desperately trying to calm myself down.

**xXXXx**

I turn to Eric, crossing my arms and watching him blankly.

He stalks forward and I tense, remembering what happened the last time we were so close in a dark area. He smirks, pressing closer and my hands shoot out, pressing him away. I twist my legs together, holding the pulsing heat in when I feel his steel muscles. They ripple under my hands and my breath comes faster as he slowly looks down, eyeing my hands on his chest. A shiver runs down my spine and I almost whimper at the way his eyes darken and his firm muscles bunch under my hands.

He raises his head, our eyes meeting.

Eric surges forward, using his brawn to force me back. In a flash, he has once again hoisted me up and holds me in place with his legs as I breathe rapidly. My chest heaves against his, the warmth stirring a desire in me. Seeing the change in my eyes, Eric grips me around the neck and pulls me into a fast, rough kiss.

Teeth and tongue collide in our fight for dominance as Eric pushes closer. His warmth, his heat surrounds me and he is all that I know. I moan, low and needy as I arch against him. Eric growls as he grips my waist with bruising force and grids into me. I jolt, mewling and arching my body into his.

Pulling back and resealing our lips, Eric bites down on my lip and sends arousal spiraling through me. Every part of me is hyper sensitive and I shiver as Eric slips his hands under my shirt and meets bare skin. He swiftly unhooks my bra, nipping at my neck. I rake my nails down his back and twist the hair on the nape of his neck. The lump in Eric's pants grinds into my sensitive bundle of nerves and I melt as sheer pleasure rushes through me.

I wrap my legs around his waist as he brushes my nipple. He tugs and twists, the slight pain only augmenting the pleasure. I grip the back of his neck and tug his head up to mine, crashing our lips together. I bite down on his lip, tugging harshly and he growls again. The deep masculine sound triggers something in me and it drives me wild as I grow hotter.

Eric grinds down on me and and I whimper against him as the pleasure spirals through my core. I splay my hand on the back of his neck and run the other hand down his chest, loving the feel of his muscles bunched under my questing hands. I suck on his lip, slowly pulling away. I gasp as Eric lowers his head and sucks on my nipple. He bites down and a strangled gasp escapes me as I buck my hips against his.

Eric grips my waist in one hand, using it to keep my hips riding his bulge. I arch against him as my hips roll with his. The heat combined with my slickness has the pleasurable coil in my stomach tightening quickly. Eric tugs my nipple as he pulls my shirt over my head. My hair falls in messy curls around my face but I don't falter. My head falls back as Eric releases my breast and swirls his tongue around the other one.

He jerks against me as I brush my hand above his waistband. I manage to smirk at him as I slip my hand inside his pants and grasp him. His eyes widen before he narrows them, a guttural growl escaping him as I brush my finger over the tip of his erection. The feeling fascinates me, the throbbing warmth over a length of steel. His girth is impressive, I can't even fit my hand all the way around him. I slide my hand down and tug up and Eric tenses as he widens his stance. I gaze sultrily at him as I repeat the motion. Muffled curses spew from his lips as I lean forward and pull him into a sensual kiss.

Eric pulls away and grabs my wrists, holding them above my head and causing me to arch my back. I moan at the dominant movement and he groans and quickens the rolling motions of our hips. My mouth falls open as I let my head loll back, surrendering to the pleasure burning through me. Mewls and moans fall wantonly from my lips and Eric's eyes burn into mine. I manage a sultry grin, looking at him from under my lashes as I tug a hand free from his forceful grasp. He stills his motions, rock hard against me as I slowly slide my hand down my smooth belly. I tease him for a second, brushing my fingers over my waistband before continuing to my destination.

I unbutton his pants and unzip them, using my feet to lower them. His erection springs free, the weeping head pointed right at me. I bite my lip as I grasp it, his breath rushing out of him. His eyes lock on my hand and my eyes fall half closed as I squeeze the throbbing muscle in my hand. He groans and kisses me again, harsh and needy. I moan into his mouth and he massages my chest, twisting my nipple harshly. I arch against him as the coil in my stomach snaps and I lose myself to a haze of pleasure.

I twitch with the aftershocks and the throbbing fades to a pulse and I open my eyes. I stare right at Eric, seeing he still needs to reach completion. His blue-grey eyes are dark and burn into my eyes as I lean forward and speak low and throaty in his ear..

"_Fuck_ Eric." Already he starts to stiffen and lean closer as I squeeze and tug him. "So good." I groan, nipping his neck harshly. "You made me orgasm so fast and so _hard. _I am so wet. You made me wet. " I tilt my head, tasting the salty skin over his pulse point. I scrape my teeth over his skin before swiftly nipping his neck again, noting his breath coming faster. "What do you want me to do?" I ask, pressing a hot kiss to his ear. "You want me to twist?" I twist my fingers around the base of his length and he comes undone.

He shudders with a low growl as his seed spills onto my hand and I pull back, satisfied with myself.

**xXXXx**

As our breathing slows down, Eric slowly allows me to slide down him until my feet touch the ground. As soon as my feet touch the ground, I dart around him; stealing my bra from his hand and quickly fastening it. The reality of what we just did hitting me. His is my trainer and I am an initiate. But more than that, he is a Leader and I am a Transfer. This never should have happened.

"Where are you going?" He calls and I still. I warily turn to face him, drawing myself to my full height, my hands in fists at my sides. He slowly turns, eyes dark as he pulls up his pants (but doesn't button and zip them) and crosses his arms. For a moment, I allow myself to send an appreciative glance over his muscles, my eyes lingering on where his length still peaks out over his jeans. I can see he is already hard again and his stamina makes my muscles tighten pleasurably. Then I snap my gaze away, grateful for the lanterns spaced far enough away to give the shadow I am in.

Now he can't see the blush spreading over my cheeks.

"To my room." I answer and he takes a step forward. I quickly take a small step back, tension thrumming through my body as my guard slams down. He runs his eyes down my body, lingering on my bra-clad chest and sleek stomach, which is still bare. I spot my shirt on the ground behind him but I know if I walk past Eric...and to bend down for the shirt. Well. Enough said. I tighten my fists as I eye him warily, blue eyes dark. "See you in training." I tell him and quickly dart away.

I race through the tunnels, grateful it is dinner time and everyone is in the Pit. I make it back to the room and move quickly to my bed, pulling on a shirt. I curl up, the lazy feeling washing through me insuring I don't forget about my...encounter with Eric in the tunnel.

That night is filled with restless tossing and turning. When I do get sleep, it is filled with skilled fingers, heated kisses and cold blue eyes.

...and I completely forget that Dauntless has cameras...and Four is one of the guys that is in charge of the Control Room...

...my sleep is blissful that night.

**XXX**

The next morning, I roll out of bed and wake up Ellie and Zander so we can proceed with our exercise.

Afterwards, I curse as I notice the time. We are late. I quickly take my multicolored curls and sweep them into a high ponytail. That done, we exchange gleeful glances and race each other to the Pit, shoving and laughing. My long legs easily taking me through the tunnels, ensuring I take the lead. We burst through the training room doors, laughing exuberantly. Ellie lunges playfully at me and I dart away, jumping on Ander's back. She pouts at me and I laugh, dropping down and tugging her into a half hug.

"Don't worry, darling. One day you will be fast enough to catch me...midget." She cries in outrage, lunging at me and I laugh, fending off her playful fists. Ander snickers, pulling us apart and draping an arm over our shoulders.

"Ladies...Ladies." He shakes his head in mock-sorrow as we watch him avidly. "There's no need to fight over me. There's more than enough to go around-" He chokes to a stop, wheezing as we elbow him in his sides. Ellie and I laugh as we lead him over to the group. I nod at my group of twelve and they grin back, surrounding us in the customary Dauntless style.

Shoves, hair ruffling, playful slaps on the back and so on. I snicker, shoving Raza away as he pulls me into a headlock. We calm ourselves and face forward. My eyes meet Zander's and I frown, sticking my tongue out in a childish manner. He looks so shocked that I burst into giggles, leaning on Ellie to stay up. She staggers to the side and I slip to the floor, the look on his face making me crack up again and again.

I finally gain control and I sigh as I stand up, using Raza. He grins and ducks down.

"Good luck in training today." He winks and for the first time, it hits me. Gathered with the transfers are Dauntless born initiates. I eye him sweetly and his eyes widen.

"Tell me why?" I mummer, leaning close and looking at him from under my lashes. He laughs, shaking his head and I pout, sighing and crossing my arms. I look away and clench my jaw when I notice Tabby leaning on Zander. He meets my gaze with a defiant glare but drops it a second later and he takes a step away from her. She stiffens, turning to look angrily at me.

I meet her gaze evenly, not wanting to be afraid, even if I am just pretending. Shock flits across her face before she clears it and turns her back to me. I knew this crush on Zander thing would work in my favor. Ellie rolls her eyes at me and I smirk at her playfully, causing her to smirk playfully back. I walk to the front of the group, across from where Four is standing and roll my eyes playfully. He smirks back at me and I smirk in return.

I spot Jett and brighten. He grins slowly at me and I bounce on my heels, tilting my head to the side curiously. Jett laughs and I giggle in return, my eyes bright and clear.

"Now that you are here, you can be the first." Eric announces and I stiffen, my gaze shooting over to his. Once again, he shows no sign of what occurred between us and that irritates me. I stiffen and still, Ellie and Ander flanking me, my group gathering around me. Eric raises an eyebrow at their actions but his words are aimed at me. "Get a move on." He says arrogantly and it sets me on edge.

"Be the first for what?" I question and he smirks darkly, his eyes glinting.

"You get to be the first transfer to fight a Dauntless born initiate. You will fight the person at the same rank as you. Since you are third, you will be fighting against Josh." He nods at the tall, brown and purple haired, green eyed ex-friend-now-friend-again and I stiffen. He gives me a brief, panicked look before hardening his face and nodding. I clench my jaw as my heart starts pounding in my chest.

I lock gazes with Jett and he sends me a look of confidence. I relax a little, knowing he has all the confidence in the Five Factions that I will win. I nod at him and move slowly to the fighting mat. Josh hesitates before stepping onto the mat and I follow him. We nod at each other before raising our arms into the starting positions. I take a deep breath and slowly let it out as we move in a circle. I know I can win this as I scan Josh, Erudite brain calculating the odds, angles and weakest body parts.

"Time to fight." Eric's voice rings out and I shoot him a venomous look, at the same time smoothly dodging Josh's fist. I return the punch straight to his neck. He chokes, eyes widening and I bring my foot up in a swift, vicious kick that has his head snapping back and releasing a spray of blood.

He stumbles back and I move forward, my face blank as I hook my foot behind his knee and jerk forward, snapping my elbow down at the same time. He brings his arm up but not in time to stop my elbow from hitting him in the temple and knocking him out. I release and straighten, allowing everyone to see his limp body before gently rolling him over and lightly tapping his face.

Josh stirs with a groan and I press a soft hand to his chest, holding him still. He eyes the blood on my knuckles with a bloody grin and his head falls back.

"I knew it." He mutters and I grimace, not liking what I had to do but knowing I am too much of a survivor not to.

"Sorry." I mutter and he chuckles.

"Don't be. You did awesome." He reassures me and I hold out a hand. He clasps it, rising to his feet. I offer him my shoulder as he wobbles a little and he leans on me with another small grin. I walk with him off the mat, wobbling over to our group. They nod at me and I nod back, leaning Josh against the wall. He slowly sinks down with a sigh and I sit with him. For the rest of the day, I stick with him.

He explains to me the reason why we fought. For a week, the Dauntless and Transfer initiates will be training together. This will affect our scores. Transfer or Dauntless. We are now being ranked together. All 24 of us. Our new rankings will be done today, after everyone fights. Whoever has the quickest time will be 1 and so on.

It shocks me a little but I roll with it.

When the day is over, Josh, my group and I travel to the Pit, welcoming the explosion of noise and color as we find a seat. No sooner had we settled down when the Dauntless flood around us, offering congratulations and respect. I take it cautiously, ignoring Zander and Izzy. Dean, Josh and Sasha send regretful looks over at them and I nudge them. I smile and jerk my chin in the other twos direction.

"Go. I can't be mad at you for not wanting to abandon them. Tonight, go with them." I tell them and smile as they join their friends. Ellie smiles in approval and I grin at her happily, my smile fading as I catch Zander's eye. He smiles and nods at me and I hesitate before returning the curt nod.

I remember how false friendship can be. I catch Jett's dark eyes and automatically smile.

...Make that _some _friendships.

* * *

"Next, we learn knife throwing. The human shapes are your targets. This will affect your score. Begin!" Eric calls and I roll my eyes, taking the hilt of the knife and flinging it. It hits the middle of the target and the handle quivers from the strength of my throw. I smirk at Tabby and she snarls, flinging her own knife. I snicker as it hits the board and falls to the ground. I flick my wrist deftly and my knife spins through the air, easily slicing through the board and sticking in the 'heart.'

A burst of pride rushes through me, my dark eyes glittering with happiness. I ignore Tabby and send a challenging smirk at Ander and his green eyes light up in return. He nods at me and readies a throw.

"Neck." I call and he nods. I silently count to three in my head and throw the knife. Ander and I's weapons are sticking out of the neck, the handles quivering with the strength of our throws. "Head." We toss again, both scoring again.

"Knee." Ander calls and we throw, hitting the knee. I exchange a prideful glance with him and he laughs, shaking his head. "Eye." He calls and I aim to where an eye would be, hitting it. The cool metal in my hands is easy for me to aim and throw and it fills me with a sense of power. Tabby snarls with frustration again and I snicker, Ander mimicking her with a grin. I laugh at that and he flashes me a glance, flexing his muscles and tossing another dagger. It hits in the forehead and I grin at him as I toss the dagger without looking. Lucky for me, it hits the forehead and his eyes widen.

"Nose." I challenge him and he glances at the board before facing me and throwing it without looking. It hits but more on the lips area than the nose. I raise a dagger and twirl it playfully before throwing it. I smirk as I see it landed on the nose and Ander grins, his eyes lighting up.

"Something funny initiate?" Eric calls, his voice hard and I tense, facing the board again. "I said, is something funny, initiate?" He repeats, louder this time. I can tell he has stopped right behind me. Warmth radiates off his body as he leans down and whispers into my ear, his lips brushing my cheek. "If you think this exercise is so funny, maybe you should practice on a real target." He says, his voice cold and I whirl around, glaring defiantly at him. We stand chest to chest but I don't back up, a thrill lighting me up.

"Are you volunteering?" I sneer and the muscled in his jaw flexes as he stares, his eyes a steel blue. Anger flares in his eyes before his gaze travels past me and he smirks darkly. He steps back and clasps his arms behind him, the action causing his muscles to strain against his black shirt. His large form is deceptively graceful as he prowls over to Ander and grasps him by the back of his neck, pulling him along harshly.

"No, but he is." He shoves Ander in front of my target and I roll my eyes. I stride forward, pushing them out of the way and pull out all of my daggers. I position Ander in front of the target again and smirk at him.

"Facing or away?" I ask and Ander grins.

"Do you even have to ask?" He taunts and I laugh, striding away. Eric follows and stands to the side, his arms crossed and emphasizing his bulging pecs.

"Initiates. Gather over here. Today, we are going to watch on knife throwing on an actual target." The other transfers and Dauntless born exchange wary and nervous glances.

"Just don't kill me." Ander calls, completely at ease as he lounges against the board. He knows my skill in knife throwing is rivaled only by his. I bark a laugh, flipping a dagger into the air, catching it by the tip and flinging it at him.

"I wouldn't dare!" I retort, the handle quivering by his ear. His eyes widen as flinches, spewing curses as he ducks away.

"Initiate! Back into position!" Eric barks angrily, his steel blue eyes hard and vicious. "Flinch away again you will be kicked out. And become Factionless." I whip my head around and glare at him, taking a step forward but Jett intercepts me with a hand on my stomach.

"Easy." He cautions lowly. "Remember, he is a Dauntless Leader. Not just a trainer." He tells me and I relax, nodding curtly. "Alright Butterfly. Do your thing." He grins at me and jogs back to the group. My eyes follow him and I nod at my group. Getting my message, they swarm around him, welcoming him into the fold. I smirk happily and he looks up, catching my gaze. A silent message of strength passes through us and I nod, turning back to Ander. He looks worried and I roll my eyes at Ander and cracks a smile as he moves warily in place. I ready another dagger, confident in my throws.

"Should I call for an apple? So I can put it on your head? Or in your mouth?" I ask, a wicked grin crossing my lips as I throw another dagger and it lands in between his legs, pinning the fabric to the board. He leans his head back, his neck glistening with nervous sweat.

"You'd just love that! Wouldn't you?" Ander counters, his voice strained. I bark a laugh, keeping it light and airy.

"Have you no faith in me?" I joke, my next dagger right above his head and slicing off a little lock of hair. He swears again, picking it up and I grin.

"What the fuck is this?!" He shouts, holding it up and I burst out laughing. I lean down and pick up the dagger that slipped through my fingers and stand back up, small giggles still spilling from my lips.

"When we are done here, just wrap that lock of your hair in a ribbon and give it to me so I can keep it by my heart always!" I joke cheerfully. "As a memento of when you were alive!" I jest and let fly my last dagger. It lands right next to his neck. He gives a fake grin, pulling away from the board and tripping, forgetting I pinned his pants to the board. A loud ripping noise breaks the air and he gets up. I dissolve into laughter, clutching my sides and sinking to my knees, the other initiates in the same boat as I am.

Ander looks down and his hands shoot to cover his crotch. His ears turn red as he covers the rip in his pants.

"Thanks a lot!" He shouts and I fall back on my butt, laughing harder as I shoot him a thumbs up and he scowls.

"That's enough!" Eric booms, striding forward stopping in front of us. He flexes his large hands as he glare venomously at the two of us. "Or you will get to dangle over the Chasm and see what's so funny then!" He snarls and I roll my eyes, muttering under my breath as I get to my feet. I move over to Ander and help him stand up, a few giggles breaking out as he refuses to move a hand from his crotch.

"Need some help with that?" I ask playfully, raising an eyebrow. His eyes widen and a slow grin spreads across his face as we move away from the boards.

"Sure. Let me know when and where, babe." He teases back before yelping as Eric strides up behind him, grasps him by the neck and shoves him back in line. Ander swears under his breath and I laugh. Eric strides back over to me and grasps my arm, dragging me over to the other initiates.

"Throw your daggers." He growls out roughly, his eyes dark with anger and cold with irritation. I raise another eyebrow and stare at him in bemusement.

"What?" I question, raising an eyebrow and looking at the boards. He steps forward so we are toe to toe and chest to chest. He is taller than me so he lowers his head closer, blue eyes frigid as he scowls angrily.

"Throw. Your. Daggers." He repeats, a merciless edge to his voice. I stare back at him defiantly, noticing the muscle in his jaw flexing.

"At whom?" I question icily, my Erudite roots showing. He raises an arm and points and I refuse to be the first to look away. We are in a stare-down and the tension mounts higher. The warmth radiating off his body is at complete odds with the iciness in his eyes but that only serves to arouse me. Warmth pulses in the apex of my thighs and I lick my bottom lip. His eyes automatically flick to my tongue and his eyes darken even more.

Feeling I have won a small battle, I feel no shame in looking away.

"I get to choose?" I ask playfully, my dark blue gaze fixed on Tabby. She sneers at me but I see the edge of fear flicker through her eyes. "Tabby." I call sweetly, moving over to her, my red, orange, blue, green, yellow and purple curls pulled back into a high ponytail, my shorter hair gathered by my right eye because of my habit of sweeping my fingers through it. I twirl a dagger in my fingers, completely confident of the cool metal in my hands.

I have a familiarity with daggers that I doubt I will ever have with guns, no matter how much training Jett, Four and Eric try to put into me. Tabby stiffly moves to the board and stands in front of it. I move to where I will throw, dark vengeance rising in me. Unlike with Ander, there is no playful banter here.

My dark gaze is hard and harsh as I fix it on her. She meets my gaze and raises her chin arrogantly but she knows she is at a disadvantage. I keep my features blank, allowing a savage edge to glint ominously in my eyes. I lift a dagger and flip it in the air, catching the tip and hurl it in her direction. She cries out, flinching away. A slow, steady smirk spreads across my face as she looks at me with fear in her eyes.

"Tut, tut. Something wrong, Tabby?" I ask, my voice dark velvet rubbed the right way. I blink slowly at her, maliciousness in my dark blue eyes as her breath catches. Her eyes flick frantically between me and Four before she slowly shakes her head and moves in front of the board again.

I know that I nicked her with the dagger. I sliced her leg lightly. I have no qualms about hurting her. My darker, ruthless side is awake and it is thirsting for blood. I ready another dagger and grin slightly, baring my gleaming teeth. Her breath hitches and she slams her eyes shut as the next tagger lands beside her arm, slicing into it a little. She clenches her jaw to keep in the shout of pain and I can't help the small chuckle from slipping out.

Shame and humiliation burn bright in her eyes and she blinks rapidly to keep the tears in. I feel no guilt. Tabby is vicious. She has not gained her rank by holding hands and singing kumbaya. She beat her opponents ruthlessly. She is a no-holds-barred, take-no-prisoners-only-bodies type of person.

I do admire that mentality. Because it means she is a survivor. Willing to win, at all costs. But I am a survivor too. In another life, we could have been friends. We would have been vicious, the perfect tag team. But that possibility went out the window when she started hanging out with Zander, Izzy, Sasha, Josh and Dean. I have no qualms about causing pain.

The door opens behind us and noise filters in. Tabby's eyes flick past me and hope lights up her eyes. I know that Lauren is here. The Dauntless born trainer has a bit of a soft spot for Tabby. I grin darkly, knowing that regardless, Lauren will not cross Eric on this. Eric's gaze flicks to her before returning to me, fascination and lust darkening his eyes. I turn my head to him and smirk darkly.

"What is going on here?" The Dauntless female trainer questions and Eric steps forward.

"Training. On an actual target. This is our best thrower, Paz. She is demonstrating on our worst thrower, Tabby." He sneers darkly, causing the initiates to shift warily. "In the line initiates." He barks, jerking his head to the Dauntless initiates that moved to greet their trainer respectfully. They move quickly, respect in their eyes as they move past the young Dauntless Leader. Lauren hesitates, her gaze flicking between Tabby's pale face and terror stricken eyes to Eric. He holds her gaze until she nods and he turns to me. "Any day now Stiff." He calls out and I smirk.

"I'm no Stiff." I taunt, turning back to my target and readying my dagger. "I was Erudite." Shock flares in his eyes before anger gleams in them, hating that he was tricked. "But guess what? Now I am neither." I let fly the dagger and Tabby whimpers, her eyes closed; the handle of the dagger quivering beside her neck where a small drop of blood rolls down. "Now, I am Dauntless." I throw the last dagger and it nips into the top of her head, slicing off some of her hair and slowly staining the blonde a dark red. She pulls away from the board, raising a hand to her head and gently pressing down. She pulls her fingers down and stares at the crimson glistening on her fingers.

"You bitch!" She shouts, staring at me with anger. I casually twirl a dagger, the sharp tip pressing into my finger until a drop of blood appears.

"Dauntless are brave. Even in the face of injury." I tell her, a taunting edge to my voice. "I just started throwing daggers today. You are lucky you are even alive." I smirk darkly. "After all, it would have been so easy for my hand to just...slip." I say sweetly, the dagger dropping from my fingers and hitting the floor with a metallic clang. She flinches and stares at me with wide eyes and pale features.

I shrug and sweep into a mocking bow, looking up at her through my dark lashes.

"You are_ so_ _very welcome_." I drawl and blink slowly, my lashes sweeping down and back up. She stumbles back a step before catching herself. I slowly straighten, my gaze locked on hers, a small smirk gracing my face before I turn and walk back over to the initiates. They eye me warily...all except for my group.

I lean against the wall beside Jett and he links an arm around my shoulders.

"What a performance." He teases and I snort, looking up at him, raising a dark eyebrow.

"You have no idea."

**XXX**

After my display, Tabby tries to avoid me during lunch but I go out of my way to grin at her.

Ellie snickers into her food and I look fondly down at her.

"That's mean. You shouldn't do it." She says reproachfully and I pout, nodding.

"I know but it's just _so __damn fun._" I perk up and smirk at Tabby. She pales again and picks up her food, moving farther away. I snicker and Ellie breaks down, joining me in our loud laughter.

* * *

I sigh sleepily.

I can't fall asleep. My eyes drag and my body protests but my brain stays wide awake. I sigh again, tossing back my covers and slipping my sneakers on. I pad out of the room silently, smiling as I see the sleeping faces of my friends. Funnily enough, if it hadn't been for Capture the Flag, I wouldn't have them. After we won, all of us bonded over the win, transfer and Dauntless born alike.

We are a solid group of twelve now.

I frown to myself as I walk through the tunnels. It sucks though because Taylor and Josh are at the bottom of the list. They don't have time to find a way to stay. In two days is the end of stage one. The day after tomorrow will be Visitation Day. You can say what you want about Dauntless but they have the mercy to allow those to be cut one last time with their families before they are cast out to become Factionless.

I sigh, brushing my curls back.

Along with Josh and Taylor will be Andy (the other Abnegation), a Dauntless named Raven and Dauntless named Blade and a Dauntless born named Jon. I sigh again, tears burning in my eyes. I don't know how I will do this. I wander along the tunnels until I end up at a door. I stare at it for a moment, considering turning around and walking away but the tears burning in my ears convince me. I raise my hand and knock. I wait a moment before knocking again.

There is a muffled thud and I hear Jett swear through the door.

"Jett?" I call out, concerned. "You okay?" I ask and jerk back as in the next second the door is ripped open. A brunette in only a bra and underwear storms out, brushing past me and disappears into the tunnels. I slowly turn back to my sheepish best friend, my eyebrows attempting to climb right off my head. "Sorry?" I offer, hitching up a shoulder and he straightens, shaking his head.

"It's fine, Butterfly. You okay?" He asks, stepping closer and brushing my hair behind an ear. I shake my head, biting my lip to keep the tears back.

"Josh...and Taylor. They-" I cut myself off as a small tear escapes and slides down my cheek.

"Oh, Butterfly." Jett wipes my tear away and takes my hand, leading me away. I follow silently behind him as we climb some stairs and he opens a door. He tugs me out onto the roof and I look around, a small smile slipping on to my face. Back in Erudite, whenever I was feeling down, I would sneak onto the roof and just look at the stars. Jett gently tugs me to the edge and wraps an arm around me as we sit down.

"Thank you." I whisper, resting my head on his shoulder and hugging his arm. Jett smiles down at me, adoration shinning in his dark eyes.

"Anything for you, Butterfly. I mean it. Anything." I nod and snuggle under his arm, relaxing against his side as we look over the city and the stars. After a little while, I yawn, my eyes fluttering shut.

"G'night Jett." I whisper and feel a gentle pressure on my head.

"Good night Pazia."

**XXX**

"Paz! Wake up!" I jerk awake, hearing Jett's frantic voice in my ear. "Shit! We over-slept!" I sit up in bed, looking at Jett as he frantically pulls up his pants and grabs a shirt. "Get up!" He snaps and I scramble into motion.

"Shit! How did this happen?!" I shriek, struggling into my tank top. "Jett! I don't have pants!" I shout and a second later, heavy fabric collides with my head. "Son of a- these are too big!" I shout and duck. I shriek as a belt comes towards my head and shoot Jett a glare. He shrugs, a toothbrush sticking out of his mouth. I wiggle the belt into the baggy cargo pants and secure it. I slip my feet into the black combat boots and tie them up hurriedly.

I snatch the toothbrush from Jett's mouth and quickly brush my teeth, rinsing the brush and dropping it in the small cup. I race back out, snatching the brush from his dresser and try to brush my hair.

"No time! Lets go!" Jett drags me out of his apartment and we clasp hands as we race through the tunnels. We skid into the Pit and grab a piece of toast and race back out.

"Move!" I growl to a Dauntless standing right in my way. They stumble, flailing wildly while looking over their shoulder at me and cursing angrily. A small smirk spreads on my face as Jett and I race through the tunnels. I run the brush through my hair with one hand, eating my toast with the other. Almost to the training room, we slow down and open the doors, gasping for breath.

The group turns to us and we straighten, subconsciously mimicking each other. We tilt our head arrogantly, straighten our shoulders and- I shove the brush in Jett's stomach and hurry forward.

"Sorry!" I gasp, sliding in beside Ellie, ignoring her questioning glances. Eric scowls, his heavy gaze shifting between me and Jett and I can practically _see_ the porn writing itself in his head. I would say something but a: jealous Eric is hot and b: he shouldn't get to know he is sitting pretty without competition for my body.

"Late morning?" Four asks, smirking knowingly at Eric. I shrug, the flush in my cheeks slowly fading.

"Something like that." I say as ambiguously as possible and Eric's jaw clenches.

"You are fighting again today!" Eric barks angrily to us. "This is the last day of Stage One, so I suggest you make it count." He turns and the fights for today show up on the board. Raza and I exchange grins when we see we are fighting each other first. We climb into the ring and bump our fists in a show of friendly competition.

"You're going down, baby girl!" Raza teases and I toss my hair playfully.

"Like you could be the one to take me down?" I counter and our group ooohs at him. He shoots them a glare and rolls his eyes at me. After the Capture the Flag, we have started training together at night, the entire group. That is why it is so suspicious that Josh is so low on the list. He is all the way down at 22 with Taylor at 23. Worry brightens my eyes and Raza nods, understanding flaring in his eyes.

None of our group is pleased with his rankings. If He doesn't win...he is going to go home and the same for Taylor. I sigh, but perk up, furrowing my brow. Seeing I am firmly in my Erudite brain, Raza sends a leg sweep at me. I hop over it, placing my hands his shoulder, flipping my body around him and put him in a head lock. Raza struggles against me for a second so I tighten my grip.

"Would you just collapse already?" I grumble, kicking the back of his knees and causing him to crumple. I lower myself from his back and readjust my grip, almost slipping when Raza twists but I get pull tight on his throat and he chokes, his eyes rolling in the back of his head as he collapses. "Finally." I grumble, gently lowering him down and checking his pulse. I tap his face and he wakes up with a grimace.

"Damn. Couldn't have made it seem like I could put up a fight against you, huh?" He asks, a little bitterly but I hardly notice. I am staring blankly at the wall, my eyes wide and lips moving silently. "Paz?" He asks and I nod absently while he leads me away from the ring. Tabby and Emily will be fighting next.

I slowly sit, my mind racing. I drag my fingers through my hair, twisting the ends as I rock slowly back and forth.

"Paz?" Ellie asks and I flash a distracted smile, my eyes moving back and forth, reading invisible words.

"Ellie. She's fine. She just needs to be left alone right now." Jett speaks up, swinging me in his arms. I rest my head in the crook of his neck, slipping my other arm around his neck. After worrying the situation in my head, a grin spreads across my face and I hop up excitedly.

"Jett-"

"Right here." He says from behind me, used to my brain episodes.

"Okay. I figured it out. Based on who they will be fighting, Taylor and Josh will need to win their fights but I am going to need your help for this last part." I whisper the plan animatedly to Jett and he nods avidly, twisting his fingers in my hair. "Think you can do it?" I ask and he stares at me with an offended air.

"Course!" He exclaims, leaning forward. "You doubt my skills?" He raises an eyebrow and I purposefully avoid his eyes. He snickers, digging his fingers in my sides. It startles a laugh out of me and I push his hands away, grinning happily.

"Fine!" I pout at him. "I know you can do it." I press a kiss to his cheek and rejoin my group. "Right. Taylor and Josh are in danger of going home." I begin and they gather round, no longer watching Ander and Dean fighting in the ring. "Taylor has to win against Sandra and Josh has to win against Mike." I explain.

"I can throw my fight with Josh." Mike volunteers and I nod instantly.

"Right, so that is solved but just winning the one fight won't be enough to pull them out of the bottom. We need something extra. I have a plan. Unfortunately, I can't tell you guys what it is or you might get in trouble. Rest assured, Josh and Taylor are not going to be leaving...permanently." I add and the two in danger flinch but look at me trustingly. "I promise-" I hold their gaze seriously. "-I won't let you be Factionless. Either of you." They nod thankfully and we burst into a round of Dauntless affection. As the group ruffles their hair and playfully nudges them, I look away and meet Eric's gaze.

He has been so closed off lately. I shrug to myself. Whatever. I don't need him. And clearly he doesn't need me. He narrows his eyes at me, saying something to Lauren. She looks at him with surprise but laughs. I roll my eyes and turn back to my group, hating that Eric seems to be moving on just fine.

Me?

My nights are filled with the memories of his kisses, his mouth...damn. I need to focus. I settle down and turn my attention to Ellie and a Dauntless born named Raven as they enter the ring.

Ellie wins.


	6. Chapter 6 - Fathers and Fears

A/N: Disclaimer: I don't own the Divergent world. I only own Pazia. (Pronounced: Pah-ze-ah.) All outfits are on my profile. This story is set after Four and Eric became Dauntless but the year before Tris became Dauntless.

**_Rating:_** _M_

**_Word_**_** Count:** 7, 884_

Thanks to kandula, zammy156, Darkangel1967, TheMorbidGal, and Kitaluv for their follows/favs!

Also, Guest thanks for reviewing! - We can both agree that Eric is so hot and I love it! Enjoy this review!

zammy156 - sorry bout that! I was typing out chapters 6 &amp; 7 and I didn't realize I made it seem like the next chapters were out! But I hope you enjoy this chapter!

JoalCatherine - Are you sure you loved the chapter or the hot make-out session? ;)

Just FYI to my readers, Chapter 7 is typed and ready to go! I do want at least 8 reviews though! (I know you can do it, there are over 30 of you following me!) Remember, Dauntless reviews are a must!

**Chapter Six**

* * *

_**Previously on Battle Scars:**_

_Seeing the change in my eyes, Eric grips me around the neck and pulls me into a fast, rough kiss/__The reality of what we just did hitting me. His is my trainer and I am an initiate. But more than that, he is a Leader and I am a Transfer. This never should have happened._

_..._

_...and Four is one of the guys that is in charge of the Control Room.../__ I smirk as I see it landed on the nose and Ander grins, his eyes lighting up. __"Something funny initiate?" Eric calls, his voice hard and I tense, facing the board again._

_..._

_"G'night Jett." I whisper and feel a gentle pressure on my head./__"Good night Pazia."_

_..._

_"Paz! Wake up!" I jerk awake, hearing Jett's frantic voice in my ear. "Shit! We over-slept!"/__"Sorry!" I gasp, sliding in beside Ellie, ignoring her questioning glances. Eric scowls, his heavy gaze shifting between me and Jett and I can practically _see_ the porn writing itself in his head._

* * *

_I pull away, head falling back as hot kisses are dropped down my neck._

_My breath is loud and heavy as I rake my nails down his back. He hisses with pain and pleasure, claiming my lips in a rough kiss. I pour myself into the kiss, tilting my head to the side as it roughens even more. I gasp as he grabs me around the waist and tosses me on his bed, climbing on top of me._

_I moan at the feeling of him on top of me, his muscles flexing and bunching against my smooth skin. He swears, tearing my shirt off. Heat gushes in my legs at the blatant display of male strength. He tosses the pieces of my shirt and my eyes roll in the back of my head as he nips and sucks his way down my chest and stomach. _

_He pries open my legs, settling in between them. I clench my legs around his waist, dazed with lust as he unzips my pants. I tug at his shirt, whining and he grins darkly, pulling it off. I run my eyes greedily over his chest, seeing the block tattoos trail down his chest and stop above his waistband. _

_I reach out but pout as he rocks forward and pins my hands down. All of a sudden his pants are down and he is pressing at my entrance. I moan, arching against him and opening my legs wider. He grins down at me and thrusts in..._

"...get up! It is Visitation Day today!" I lay there for a second, calming myself down.

My skin is sweaty and my chest is heaving from the heavy breaths I was taking. My eyes are wide and my cheeks are flushed. A throbbing warmth aches in between my legs as I brush trembling fingers over my lips. My eyes flutter closed as I curse Ellie for waking me up before I could experience-

No.

I cannot afford to think like that. I sigh and toss the covers back, slipping out of bed. I grab my stuff and trudge to the bathroom, the guys respectfully turning away. I grin, remembering the day Ellie and I went around to each guy and threatened them if they ever came into the bathroom or watched as a girl was getting dressed. I had snuck a knife from training and they were so wary we have never had a problem.

I start the shower, sighing happily as the water hits my shoulders. I pour shampoo in my hair and scrub it in while I think. Today is Visitation Day. I frown, good mood gone. I wonder if my Father will come. I hope not. Fear flashes through me for a second and I hate myself for it. I don't want to be scared anymore.

That is why I joined this Faction.

So they could teach me to be brave.

**XXX**

I finish getting dressed in my black tube skirt, dark blue long sleeved top, a soft black jacket and black flats. I run a brush through my hair as I leave the bathroom and drop on my bed. I become aware of Ellie staring at me and I raise my head.

"What?" I ask coldly, my brain on my memories. She flinches a little, biting her lip.

"Nothing! It's just-" She cuts herself off, fidgeting a little and I want to reprimand her for being so anxious and open. She sees my scorn in my eyes and she straightens her shoulders and raises her chin. I watch her through narrowed eyes but she doesn't wilt. "You look like you are going back to Erudite." She snaps and I flinch, automatically shaking my head.

"No. I don't." I shoot back and she gestures to my clothes.

"Skirt. Blue shirt. Business jacket. Flats. You even pulled your hair into a low ponytail. You look Erudite. Not Dauntless." She says seriously and I roll my eyes disdainfully. "See! You are so cold and closed off right now. You haven't had that snooty look on your face in a while and now-"

"Now what?" I hiss, stepping closer to her, my heart racing. Fear and adrenaline are mixing in my veins and causing a chaotic mix of anger and defensiveness.

"Now you are acting like a _noser_!" She spits out and I jerk back like I have been slapped. Noser is a derogatory term for Erudite because we are so smart. Just because we ask _questions _and actually _want to learn_, that makes us teachers pets or brown-nosers; hence the term noser. I don't have time to respond though because her gaze flicks past me and I turn. Eric is standing there watching us, disgust in his eyes as he looks me over. I straighten my shoulders, subconsciously smoothing down my skirt. His eyes latch onto the action and a sneer mars his face.

"It's a good thing I came in here. It seems _some _of you are already forgetting which Faction you now belong to!" He says loudly but I raise my head proudly, refusing to be ashamed. "I didn't think I would _have _to but it seems you need a refresher. All of you are no longer a part of the Faction your parents and family are from. You lost that when you held your blood over the coals at your Choosing Ceremony. _If _you get visitors, do _not _seem too attached. In fact, _do not_ actually get attached. If you do, it will make it harder for all of you to separate again. We are your family now, so I suggest you act like it." He runs his gaze down my body and back up, the disapproving look in his eyes showing just what he thinks of me in Erudite clothing. My stomach drops but I ignore it, unable to afford caring about what Eric thinks today. "Do not disappoint Dauntless today. Understood?" He asks and there is nodding and a scattering of okays and yeses. "I said, UNDERSTOOD?" He booms and we give a resounding YES back. He nods and strides to the door, stopping and glancing back. "When you are ready, come down to the Pit." And then he is gone.

They start to file out the door and I sit down on my bed, lowering my head and staring down at my fingers. In moments, the room is empty except for me and Ellie. She hesitates by me, uncertainty radiating off her.

"I'm sorry I called you that. But I want you to know...this isn't you. Right now, I don't recognize this meek, closed off Erudite. The Paz _I_ know is strong and fiery, the perfect Dauntless. You don't take shit from anyone and always have a ready smirking grin on your face. You flirt with Eric and Jett and seem so knowledgeable in a sexy way but at the same time are so oblivious. You don't notice that you are the center of attention once you strut into a room and the many lusting eyes trained on you go unnoticed. You are loud and defiant and rebellious but _always _work that to your advantage. Most days, Eric can't take his eyes off you. You are our leader in more ways than one. You found us, Dauntless born and Transfers alike and made us into a _team. _We could never do this without you. We need you Paz. We love you. We-" She hesitates, resting a gentle hand on my shoulder. "We will _always _be here for you." She stops and her shoulders slump when I don't respond. "I'll see you out there." She says softly and then she is gone too.

Her words reach deep inside my soul and tears burn in the back of my eyes. I shove them to the side though and take a deep breath, smoothing my skirt again. I stand and slowly move out of the room. As I walk through the tunnels, I realize this is the first time since I first came here that I have walked in the tunnels. Most of the times, I am racing around, playfully shoving and joking with my friends.

I didn't even realize it but I act like I grew up in Dauntless. It makes my heart ache so much but I take another deep breath and release. I hide the emotion deep down and stare at the entrance to the Pit. The roar of noise is high as ever and it surprises me a little but I shake it off.

I walk through and start scanning the room for my Father. I see Ellie hugging a woman that shares her copper hair, a man beaming in pride at her with her blue eyes. A girl is with them and as Ellie throws her arms around her, I realize they must be sisters. A pang of jealousy hits me and I falter in my walk.

I resume scanning the room and stop when I see Ander. His mother is tiny compared to him and his father has a stoic look on his face. Clearly the only reason he is here is because of his tearful wife. Ander smiles fondly down at his mom, nodding seriously and laughing at what she says.

I spot Raza's ash-blonde/purple/orange tipped hair gathered with his family. His mom has bright purple hair and his father has orange hair. I realize I never asked him about himself. His mom is holding a little baby and the way Raza's face softens surprises me. They are tattooed, pierced and have wild hair colors but are still a loving family.

I move on, looking for my father.

When I finally see him, fear and hope well up inside me. He is dressed in his usual blue suit and is staring curiously around. I walk up to him and smile nervously when I see him. Surprise wells in me when he beams happily at me and pulls me into a hug.

"Fath-Dad?" I say in bewilderment, tensing in his arms. He pulls back and looks me over, happiness shining in his eyes and the confusion in me grows. He starts to babble about how proud he is of me and I watch him with amazement. A fragile bubble of hope blooms inside my heart as he starts to slow down.

"So this is your new Faction? Amazing! What type of stone is this?" He runs his fingers down it and quickly pulls away, wiping his fingers off on a handkerchief he pulls out of his pocket. "Rather dirty in here, isn't it?" He says with disgust and I robotically nod, my eyes fixed on him. "How have you been? I see you look good. Is- wait a second. Regina?" He calls and hugs Tabby's mom. "How have you been?" He asks and I stare at Tabby.

Animosity is curiously missing from her eyes as she looks me over. Pity flashes in her eyes as she looks from me to my father. In a flash of understanding, I realize she must know.

"How?" I whisper and she hitches up a shoulder, responding quietly.

"You never noticed but I lived right next door to you. I heard the screams." She tells me and I flinch a little. "I-I never hated you." She tells me softly and I look at her with surprise. "I was jealous. Back before when we were younger, I wanted to be your friend but you never payed me any attention. Throughout the years that made me resent you and when we came here-" She shrugs, her eyes shadowed. "I saw my chance to show you what you missed out on. My father died when I was a little girl. I thought that would bond us but you never showed any signs of caring. I guess what I am trying to say is- I'm sorry." I stare at her, caught off guard and a wry twist appears on her lips.

I slowly nod, her and I coming to an understanding.

"I don't hate you either. You are the only one who can compete on my level. I was just lashing out." I tell her and hesitate. The words burning on the tip of my tongue and I open my mouth to say them.

"Pazia! Show me around!" My father says cheerfully and I tear my eyes away from Tabby.

"Yes, sir." I nod my head at her and lead my father around the Pit. "-And back here is the kitchens." I turn as I hear the door click shut, stiffening. My father turns around, his eyes darkening.

"Interesting." He says coldly and fear surges through me. "And do you like it here?" He questions, stepping forward and I stumble back, shaking my head.

"N-no!" I answer, my wide feared eyes locked on his and he frowns.

"No?" He questions with an almost playful edge.

"Y-yes?" I change my answer and his face darkens.

"Then you should be glad you left!" He snarls, slapping my face. My head swings to the side and my ears ring from the force of the blow. I know I will have a bruise. I hold a hand softly to the throbbing spot as I look up at my father, tears shining in my eyes as the bubble pops. My father will never love me.

He reaches down and pulls me up, grabbing a handful of my hair. Tears stream silently down my cheeks as he yanks back so I am looking up at him.

"You look hideous!" He sneers at me, his eyes locked on my multicolored hair. "You should never have left. I _told _you not to leave. Isn't that right?" He asks and I stare at him fearfully, not sure what I should answer. "Answer me!" He roars and backhands me. I cry out in pain as I land on the floor, my eye throbbing painfully.

"Yes! Yes, sir!" I cry out, scrambling away from him and he laughs coldly, kicking me in my side. I cry out with pain again, hopelessness spreading in my heart. I feel so _helpless. _Anger burns in me for a second and my father's eyes latch onto it.

"Oh! Getting angry?" He sneers, grabbing my arm and yanking me up. My arm twists in a way it isn't supposed to and I choke back the scream, terror spreading through me. "That is against the rules and you know it." He whispers angrily, spit flecking my face and I tremble fearfully.

"I'm sorry!" I cry, shielding my face with a hand. He laughs and I cringe, awaiting a blow. The door slams open and I flinch, quickly wiping my face. Four and Eric stand there with Tabby hovering behind them, peering over their shoulders.

"What is going on in here?" Eric snarls out, advancing a step and a tremble of fear runs through me. His steel eyes burn angrily as he takes the scene in. My father smiles charmingly, releasing my arm. I cradle it gently against myself, lowering my head shamefully.

"My daughter and I were having a nice, family chat. Isn't that right, Pazia?" He asks, looking at me and I see the warning in his eyes. I lower my arm to my side, holding it gingerly.

"Yes, si- Father." I respond quietly and Tabby shoots me a look of outrage. I avoid her eyes, a blush of shame blotching my cheeks. Four's eyes are dark and dangerous as he steps forward, his lean frame daring my father to try something.

"I think it is time you left." He grinds out, and Eric grins darkly.

"I'll escort him." My father winces as Eric clamps a hand down on his shoulder and harshly shoves him out the door. As soon as he is gone, I whirl on Tabby.

"What are you doing?!" I hiss, cradling my arm against myself again. She stares at me with shock, not understanding me turning on her.

"I was _trying_ to help you-" I shake my head and cut her off.

"I don't need _help._" I hiss angrily and brush past her. I race out of the room, leaving the Pit behind. Tears burn in my eyes and I try not to let them fall. A loud roar grows louder as run and I realize I am almost at the Chasm. I slow down as I reach the bridge. I walk to the edge and stare down at the rapid water as it rushes by.

The strength in the waves crashing against the rock reminds me of my cowardice and scream into the Chasm. I shout and yell and get it out, my chest heaving as I clutch the slick railing. I bow my head, gasping sobs ripping themselves from my chest and the spray of the water lets me pretend I am not crying.

I stand there for a while, trembling.

_'Weak.'_

_'Useless.'_

_'Pathetic.'_

_'Disgusting.'_

_'You will never amount to anything.'_

My father's words resound in my ears and rage wells up inside of me. It is unlike anything I have ever felt before and it engulfs me. One day, I will be like this river. Fierce. Wild. Confident. And if anyone gets in my way, I will obliterate. The desire to be better, be _more _just fuels my rage. It writhes in my gut, making my clench my fists. I cry out with pain as I register the pain in my arm. I cradle it against myself, the rage vanishing and leaving me feeling cold and weak and pathetic.

"There you are." I whirl around, my heart racing. Eric raises an eyebrow and his gaze focuses on my arm. I expect disgust but instead, his features go blank. He turns and starts to walk away, clearly expecting me to follow. I stare after him, uncertainty burning in me. I feel fragile and I don't want any confrontations. Eric turns and watches me.

"Where are you going?" I question softly and he takes a step forward, his bulky frame almost melting into the shadows.

"_We _are going to the med unit. You need to get your arm checked out." He says calmly and I flinch, another shiver going through me as I look away. Medical areas are not my favorite.

"My arm is fine. I just-"

"-bumped it. Right?" Four comes out of the shadows behind Eric. They stand there, shoulder to shoulder and I shake my head, my eyes wide. I don't like being caught off guard. I quickly change my lie as fear starts pumping through me.

"No. I tripped. Father helped me up and that is when you came in." I tell them softly, my dark blue eyes wide. I desperately, fiercely need Jett. "Where is Jett?" I ask, my composure slipping and my voice trembles a little. Eric stiffens, a muscle in his jaw flexing.

"He is busy." Eric snaps out and Four gives him a dark look before turning to me.

"He was sent on a patrol today. Does he know? Is that why he was so adamant about being here today? He almost hit Eric when he was ordered to go or become Factionless." Four says lowly and I shut my eyes, turning my face away. Jett is not here. A tear slides down my face and I take a shuddering breath. They took him away from me.

"I don't k-know what you are talking about." I cringe as the stutter slips out and Eric frowns, stepping forward. I scramble a step back, watching them warily. Four holds out his hands, watching me like I am a rabid animal.

"Easy, Pazia-"

"It's Paz!" I snap, flinching and Four nods soothingly. Eric looks pleased at the flash of Dauntless fire but his eyes go dark again when he sees me flinch.

"Okay. Paz. You need to get your arm checked. No matter _how_ it got injured, it _is_ injured. You need to make sure it is not broken." Four says softly and I shake my head, backing up a step.

"It's not. I would know. It's just a torn muscle." I tell them, bitterness flashing across my face and they exchange glances.

"How would you know? Has this happened before?" Four questions and I bristle as I feel like I am getting trapped in on all sides.

"No. I just know." I respond and Eric shakes his head, crossing his arms. Where the muscle once caused lust, now I just feel a flare of panic.

"How about that bruise and black eye on your face? Did you trip and get those too?" He asks, his voice mocking. I nod quickly, my pounding heart making me feel light-headed.

"I fell on a rock." I tell them and Eric rolls his eyes derisively.

"Must have been a large rock." He says snarkily and Four hits his shoulder with the back of his hand.

"It was. I'm glad you noticed." I tell him icily, tensing up more and more.

"You are not helping Eric." Four hisses and I slowly start moving backwards. Eric's gaze snaps to me and I freeze.

"Where are you going?" He barks and I flinch again.

"To the room." I answer and he shakes his head, striding forward and scooping me up in his arms. For a moment, I just freeze and then I explode.

"Eric! Let me go!" I shout, thrashing in his arms and Four chases us. I hit Eric's back, hating that he was able to toss me over his shoulder so easily. I knee his chest, slamming my fists on his back. But he doesn't even notice. I slap the back of his head, spewing threats and curses, the fear level in my chest rising. "Let. Me. Go! You fucking asswipe!" I shout and Four shakes his head.

"This isn't helping!" Four shouts and Eric glances at him, moving his head so he can avoid my flailing limbs.

"Neither is what you were doing. At least this way she is getting there." He counters calmly. I scream at him, kicking out and Eric jostles me roughly.

"Ow! Ohh." I cradle my arm and whimper at the pain. "Shit." I whisper, blinking back tears. Eric glances down at me, shifting me so he is carrying me cradled against his chest. I accept it as a silent apology and stop flailing around. Once again, I feel helpless and a tired feeling washes over me. I stubbornly stay awake as Eric carries me through the tunnels, holding my head stiffly so it won't touch his shoulder. Amusement shines in his eyes and I stubbornly look away. We reach an area that I have been avoiding for the longest time and Eric strides in, not bothering to knock.

"What the hell are you doing- Eric. What seems to be the problem?" The doctor is an older guy with gray/black and electric blue hair. He watches critically as Eric gently sets me down on the padded table.

"Family dispute. Her shoulder is injured, bruised cheek and a developing black eye." He reels off and I glare tiredly at him.

"It wasn't a family dispute. I tripped." I snap and he raises a sardonic eyebrow, clearly not believing me.

"You are one of the most graceful people I have ever seen. Do you really think I will be stupid enough to believe that?" He questions and I stare. He...called me graceful. I clench my jaw and look away from him, lowering my head.

"I tripped." I repeat quietly, my whole aura showing just how defeated I am. "And it is a torn muscle in my shoulder. I also have a slight concussion so I may need something for that." I tell the man quietly, recognizing the sighs in my headache. Eric stiffens, his muscles bulging as he clenches his fists and I can feel his angry gaze boring into the side of my head.

"How do you know that?" Four asks persuasively and I avoid their gazes.

"I hit my head as a child. I am-was Erudite. I remember the signs. I have a headache, I am feeling tired, I feel dizzy, my vision is slightly blurred, I had trouble balancing myself and I feel nauseous." I reel off softly. "I researched it when I was 9." I tell them and Four swears angrily, running a hand through his hair, knowing that means this has been going on since I was a little girl. Eric clenches his jaw tighter and his hands tighten into fists. The doctor nods, briskly snapping on gloves and walking over to me.

I tense, staying impossibly still as he probes my arm. I keep an intense gaze on him until he backs away, nodding.

"It is a tear but a small one so there won't be many problems. It will take about a week to heal, but only if you rest it. If you do _any _exercise, it will tear even more. Eventually it will get so bad nothing can help you. In that event, you would become Factionless so I suggest you rest your arm." I nod silently, glad that we have tomorrow off.

"Will she be able to participate in stage two?" Eric asks briskly, turning his head to look at the man. He nods, pulling out a small packet.

"Yes but I advise you strap her in so she doesn't flail and she takes one of these pills in the morning and at night for the pain. It is a lower dosage so it will not block out all the pain but that is so it does not interfere with the serum." He explains, handing the packet of pills to Four. I smile bitterly.

"Don't trust me with the pills, Doc?" I question, the dark humor startling Four. The man ignores me, turning to Eric.

"No physical activity. She will have difficulty concentrating and will have mild headaches as the concussion heals. I suggest you wear these-" He hands me a pair of sleek black sunglasses. "-to protect your eyes from the light. They will be sensitive for-"

"-Up to 24 hours with a mild concussion. I know." I tell him curtly, accepting them.

"Another sign will be irritability. It's a good sign that you are already showing it." He says, smirking and I glare darkly, wincing as my arm throbs. "You should have someone wake you every 2-3 hours." The doctor says absently and Eric nods sharply.

"I'll do it. Four, you still have control room duties." He cuts off Four before he can say anything. "I am a Leader and have nothing else to do today. I will do it-" He says and the door bursts open. A blur of dark hair and darker eyes rushes in and stops in front of me.

"SHIT!" Jett swears, looking me over. I look up at him, my eyes softening and tears glistening in my eyes.

"Hey, Jett." I greet him softly and he hovers, unsure what to do. I raise an eyebrow at him and he gathers me into a soft hug. I bury my head in his neck, a tear slipping out. Jett laces his fingers with mine, brushing our cheeks together.

"I never should have left. I knew it!" He growls and I flick him on the head, smiling gently at him. His heart thumps reassuringly in my ear.

"Wasn't your fault." I tell him softly and Eric stiffens. Oh. Whoops. I didn't mean for it to come out that way.

"I still shouldn't have left, Butterfly. Fuck." He runs a hand through my hair and I lean into his palm, a small yawn escaping me as my eyes flutter shut. With Jett, I feel completely safe. I know that if something were to happen in this room, he would fight to the death for me. He never liked my father and stood up for me several times when we were younger. As we grew older though, he realized speaking out to my father was only making the punishments worse. I couldn't console him when he found out.

I used to sneak over to his families apartment next door through our windows and curl up in bed with him. I knew then just like I know now, Jett will keep me safe.

"Can't become...Factionless." I yawn again and Jett pulls back. "Cause then I'll be...alone. Need you, Jett." I whisper, yawning again as I open my eyes sleepily, locking them on his form.

"You okay?" He asks, concern sweeping over his features. I nod at him, stifling another yawn.

"She has a torn shoulder muscle and a concussion. She isn't okay." Eric growls, his eyes cold and unfeeling. Jett nods, knowing what to expect.

"I can stay with Paz. She knows where my room is anyway." Jett tells them and Eric's jaw muscle flexes again as he nods curtly.

"Fine. I expect you to be in the Pit tomorrow. No excuses." He growls out and then he is gone. Four nods at me and steps closer.

"I know I am your trainer and you probably hate me but if you ever need to talk..." He says and I nod.

"I have Jett." I tell him, trying to convey that Jett knows. Four stares at me for a second before cracking a half smile and nodding.

"Four!" Eric barks and Four rolls his eyes, nodding one last time and handing Jett the packet of pills before leaving. I turn to my best friend and another yawn wells up. He laughs and tucks the packet in his jacket before scooping me up. Unlike with Eric, I have no problems melting into Jett as he carries me out of the room. I spot Eric talking angrily to Four in the hallway and our eyes meet for a second, the rage in his eyes stunning me before I can't see him anymore.

The soothing motion of Jett walking with me lulls me to sleep and I finally feel safe. I wake a couple of times while he carries me but for the most part, stay asleep. A loud noise makes me jerk awake and I spot Jett, picking up a book.

"Sorry." He whispers, setting it on his dresser and pulling off his shirt. He climbs into bed with me, gently pulling me onto his chest. I rest my arm on his stomach, listing to the steady pulse of his heart.

"S'ok." I mummer, my eyes drifting shut. Jett sighs, his chest rising and falling as we get comfortable. We slowly slip into sleep, Jett gently stroking my hair.

I let myself drift to sleep, content that I am safe.

**XXX**

I slowly wake, stretching out.

I frown when I see Jett isn't in bed and push the covers back, climbing out. I shiver and wrap the blanket around me, seeing I am only in one of Jett's big shirts. I yawn as I pad out into his small living room and stop when I see who he is talking to. I freeze, one fist balled up and rubbing my eye and my mouth open from a yawn.

Eric and Jett turn to me.

"Hey Paz. Sorry if I woke you." Jett hurries to my side and tucks my hair behind my ear. I automatically nuzzle his palm before looking over at the Dauntless Leader. Eric is watching us with a blank look in his eyes, his brawny form in the doorway. I flush under his roaming gaze and look back up at Jett.

"I interrupted something. I'm gonna go back to bed." I tell him softly, peering at Eric from the corner of my eye as I walk back to the door.

"Okay, I'll be back in in a few minutes." I nod, shutting the door gently behind me. I crawl back into the bed, curling up and resolutely ignoring the intense flash of emotion Eric showed when Jett said he would be in in a minute. Eric is the big, bad Dauntless leader. He doesn't _do _jealous. I ignore the corner of my mind whispering that it could be because he has never had anything to be jealous over before. Instead of confronting the thought, I roll over and wait for Jett to come back.

When he does, I cuddle against him, the warmth of his bare skin reaching into my soul.

I am always safe with Jett.

Always.

**XXX**

The next day I am feeling kind of bleary from waking up several times during the night.

Jett and I get ready in silence, stumbling through the tunnels quietly. We both wince as the noise hits us right in the face when we enter the Pit. I slip the glasses down over my eyes, grateful it will also hide my black eye. It does nothing though, to stop the dark purple bruise on my right cheekbone from catching attention. Jett and I get our food, moving to an empty table.

We lean against each other as we sluggishly eat, half asleep.

My head slowly drops down as I jerk my eyes open and slowly close them. Eventually, my cheek makes contact with his shoulder and I curl up on the bench, leaning into his side. Jett drapes an arm around me, hugging me close and stifling a yawn.

"Jett!" I whine, having to stop a yawn of my own.

"Sorry." He mumbles sleepily and I drop my head back down, too tired to be playful and energetic. I sign heavily, closing my eyes and drifting to sleep.

"INITIATE!" I jerk awake, flailing and grab the first thing I feel as I slip backwards and off the bench.

"Ooph!" I squeak, hitting the cold floor and a warm mass hitting me the next second. I can tell it is Jett and I can't help the laugh bubbling up. Jett chuckles, lifting his weight off me and I look up at him, through the sunglasses. He reaches down and lifts them up, smiling when he can see into my eyes. I roll the dark blue orbs and he laughs, lifting me up and setting me gently on my feet.

I flick his shoulder and turn, holding my arm carefully as I face Eric.

"Sir?" I ask blankly, lowering my head and replacing the sunglasses. Annoyance flashes in his quicksilver eyes before it is masked. As he speaks, I focus on the block tattoos leading down his throat.

"We are not going to wait for you to finish your _nap._" He sneers and I flush, lowering my head even more. "Join the rest of the initiates." He orders, jerking his head towards the large group watching avidly. I nod my head once.

"Yes, sir." I respond in a monotone and Jett snorts. A quick smirk tugs at the corners of my mouth before it is gone. "Take care of my food?" I ask Jett and he nods, slipping me one of my pills and a cup. I roll my eyes at him and he flicks me.

"I could tell you rolled your eyes. I know you." He shrugs and I grin at him before taking the pill and swallowing some water with it. Eric waits impatiently and I wonder what exactly it is that draws me to him...aside from the muscles and general sexiness. Damn my stupid Erudite brain for having perfect recall. I focus on the pain in my shoulder and join the group silently. Tabby slips in the seat beside me and leans over.

"You should have told them." She whispers fiercely and I lift my head, shrugging a shoulder.

"Maybe." I mummer quietly. "But I didn't and I am sticking to what I know." I tell her as we get up and follow Four and Eric out of the Pit.

"And that is?" She asks quietly. I turn my head and raise my sunglasses.

"Deny, deny, deny." I respond and lower them, speeding up so I am wedged between Ander and Ellie. Ellie looks at me, confusion in her blue eyes and I run a gentle hand through her copper pixie cut. I don't say anything but she knows. She knows I'm sorry for the way she acted. And I know she forgives me though she is still hurt by my lashing out. I nod briskly at her and a grin spreads across her face, tugging one out of me. I look up at Ander and he ruffles my hair, causing me to pout and move away, disguising my tenseness.

I drop back and mix with the rest of the members of my group, Sam and Mike analyzing me like the Erudite's we used to be. I ignore that though and strike up a quiet conversation with them and Misty, Violette, Raza, Taylor and Ty. I look up though in confusion when we pass right by the Arena and down a different dark hallway.

I tense, the conversation trailing off when they notice I am no longer responding to them. Ellie slips back by me and slips her hand in mine. I squeeze it, appreciating the comfort she is offering. We all follow uncertainly behind the two trainers. We stop in front of a door with a clear screen hanging from it. Eric taps it and it scans his hand before rippling and a list appears.

**Stage One Rankings**

_**1 - Raza - Dauntless Born**_

_**2 - Ander - Transfer, Candor**_

_**3 - Paz - Transfer, Erudite**_

_**4 - Ellie - Transfer, Amity**_

_**5 - Dean - **__**Dauntless Born**_

_**6 - Tabby - Transfer, Erudite**_

_**7 - Emily - Transfer, Candor**_

_**8 - Sasha - **__**Dauntless Born**_

_**9 - Zander - **__**Dauntless Born**_

_**10 - Izzy - **__**Dauntless Born**_

_**11 - Mike - Transfer, Erudite**_

_**12 - Violette - **__**Dauntless Born**_

_**13 - Misty - **__**Dauntless Born**_

_**14 - Sam - Transfer, Erudite**_

_**15 - Ty - Transfer, Amity**_

_**16 - Howard - **__**Dauntless Born**_

_**17 - Sandra - Transfer, Candor**_

_**18 - Razor - **__**Dauntless Born**_

* * *

_**19 - Josh - **__**Dauntless Born**_

_**20 - Taylor - Transfer, Abnegation**_

_**21 - Blade - **__**Dauntless Born**_

_**22 - Raven - Dauntless Born**_

_**23 - Andy - Transfer, Abnegation**_

_**24 - Jon - **__**Dauntless Born**_

All the breath whooshes out of me as I see Josh and Taylor are still in the bottom. Fear swirls in my chest as I rapidly scan the large group of Dauntless born and transfers.

"I'm sure you have noticed the bottom 6 initiates are gone. They were gathered this morning and escorted away from the compound. There are now only 18 of you. From now on, all of you will be ranked together like this. Those in the bottom four after Stage Two will be in danger but will not be cut until Stage Three." Eric announces and I turn to Ellie in panic. She grasps my hands with her own and it isn't until she has that I realize my hands were trembling.

"They are going to be fine." She whispers soothingly. "They will go through with the plan. They will be fine." I nod, swallowing desperately.

"Fine. Yeah, they will be fine. Fine." I mutter, a horrible feeling growing in my chest. When I came up with the plan, my father hadn't thrown me off my game. Jett hadn't been distracted by my injuries. I hope he remembers. I bounce my leg, too distracted to wonder why I am in slot three when I know I won my fight the fastest. I take deep breaths and lean back against the wall. Ellie and I sit side by side and wait as the first person is called in. We can hear screaming coming from behind the door and I tense, fear speeding my breath up.

A while later, Ander stumbles out of the room as pale as a Candor shirt. Ellie and I jump up to help but he flinches away, his eyes wide with terror. He stumbles away and I turn back to Ellie, deeply unsettled. She is pale and fear glints in her eyes. I pull her into a hug and we sit silently, our group huddled together, all of of afraid now.

One by one, they are all called in until Ellie and I are the last two. Ty comes stumbling out of the room with Four at the same time as Razor (a Dauntless born initiate) appears from Eric's. Ellie and slowly stand up and look at the two grim trainers. Four hesitates and I nudge Ellie forward. He connects with my gaze and gives me a subtle nod. Ellie slowly walks into the room and then all is see is the door swinging shut.

"In the room, Initiate." Eric orders, his voice cold and I nod. I walk past him into the room and scan it swiftly. I stop at what I see. The small, dimly lit room is bare except for a simulation chair and two screens on a table beside it. I look at the needle filled with orange liquid and fear freezes me. "Any day now Paz." Eric says behind me and I robotically move forward, absently noticing he called me by my name. I slowly move to the chair and lay back in it, the cool metal making me shiver as it seeps into my bones. Eric picks up the needle and inserts it into an injection gun. He pulls up a chair and sits down beside me.

"The second stage focuses on the metal strength. Here in Dauntless, we are the brave. The best way to show our true bravery, is in the face of fear. This is a sim that targets your fear and simulates what scares you the most. It will not stop until you find out how to defeat it or until you can calm yourself down. And by that, I mean slow your heartbeat." Eric tells me, his voice a low rumble. I can tell I am white as a sheet, my eyes huge and dark with fear. He pauses, pulling the sunglasses off my face. "I wonder what you are afraid of?" He asks, with a faintly mocking tone as he brushes my bruised cheek. I shiver, worrying my lip with my teeth. Eric focuses on my lip before leaning forward and brushing my hair to the side.

I tense, staring straight up at the ceiling as he presses the injection gun to my neck. He pauses and then I hear the gentle hiss as it is released and a small flash of pain.

"It will activate in 1 minute and then a small transmitter will project your fear and the way you deal with it on the screen." Eric tells me and the deep rumble of his voice is comforting. I nod weakly, small tremors running through my body. "I don't think you can do this. I doubt you can face your fears much less fight them." Eric says and I stiffen.

"Well that's comforting." I get out through gritted teeth and he chuckles.

"I think _you_ can win this. You. Not weak little Pazia. But rather strong, Dauntless, rebellious Paz. Just remember that in there." Eric says and I stare at him with shock before my vision goes black.

_When I open my eyes, I am on a life raft._

_The sky is a beautiful blue, clouds drifting along; a fluffy white. I lay back, enjoying the gentle rocking of the sea waves. The wind gently ruffles my hair and I sigh happily, all my tension melting away. The sun warms me and keeps me calm. I hum lightly to myself, something I haven't done in years. The wind pulls at my hair and I laugh, not bothering to open my eyes. I fling my arms above my head and arch my back, settling back down sleepily. The wind picks up speed and I pout at having to open my eyes._

_The raft rocks violently and I shoot up, grasping the rubber. I look up, the sky turning an ominous black with flashes of lightning. The raft rocks violently again and I whimper, afraid. The waves are growing bigger, swelling up and crashing down onto each other. I watch with wide eyes, the spray slapping me harshly in the face. The raft rocks again and a small scream escapes me. _

_Liquid gathers around my feet and I look down with horror. There is a small tear in the raft and I drop down, grasping the edges and desperately trying to keep them shut. I sigh as the water stops leaking through the blue raft but more water is pooling around my ankles. I look around, my eyes widening when I spot several more small tears that water is gushing through._

_At a loss, I start scooping the water out frantically, fear making me sloppy. I slip and scream with fear as the raft splits open and I drop into the ocean. The cold water is a shock to my system and I cough violently, the salt water scraping my throat. _

_"Help!" I scream loudly, my head slipping under before I paddle myself back up to the surface. "HELP ME!" I scream out, crying. Tears stream down my face and mix with the sea. I slip under again and come up, coughing. "Help me! Somebody!" I cry out, my arms tiring. A large wave crashes over me and I tumble around like a leaf in the wind. Salt stings my eyes and little cuts appear all over my body. My blood swirls around me, strangely hypnotic but terror pounding through my veins makes me discard it. I start to swim, my lungs burning and pleading for air._

_Pain radiates all over my body from the salt and cuts and I can barely focus. _

_My heartbeat becomes louder and louder and I finally open my mouth. The water rushes in, stealing my body from me and I writhe before my weak motions slowly stop. I wonder why I bother fighting, my muscles screaming at me to stop moving. I float there and the pain stops in my chest and a dreamy feeling floats over me. I just- stop. I stop fighting and let the water take me into its embrace._

_And I slip free of life._

I jerk awake, gasping for breath, scrubbing the liquid from my face.

"What the hell was that?!" I flinch away from Eric's enraged voice and cower in the chair. His large hands grab my arm and I yelp as he tugs me out of the chair and in front of him. "You gave up! Why the _fuck_ would you give up?!" He roars angrily and I cringe, shame washing over me. "You didn't even try to fight! You just laid there and died! That is not Dauntless! Fuck, I don't know what it is!" He berates me and I stare up at him, bewildered and having no success in calming down. Terror is still pumping through my veins and I do what I always do.

I slip away from him and flee.

And I don't look back.


	7. Chapter 7 - Fighting Through It

A/N: Disclaimer: I don't own the Divergent world. I only own Pazia. (Pronounced: Pah-ze-ah.) All outfits are on my profile. This story is set after Four and Eric became Dauntless but the year before Tris became Dauntless.

**_Rating:_** _M_

**_Word_**_** Count:** 7, 552_

**Chapter Seven**

* * *

_**Previously on Battle Scars:**_

_"What the hell was that?!" I flinch away from Eric's enraged voice and cower in the chair._

_..._

_He berates me and I stare up at him, bewildered and having no success in calming down. Terror is still pumping through my veins and I do what I always do._

_I slip away from him and flee._

_And I don't look back._

* * *

The next day we are all quiet and somber.

We are all pale and jumpy, flinching at the slightest noise. Facing our fears in taking its toll on us and we have only done it once. It is because the simulations are so damn realistic. They make us _think _and _feel _like it is actually happening. And that scares the shit out of us. I'm sure if it was possible to manifest a fear of a simulation _in_ a simulation, we all would. Especially since we know we only faced one fear yesterday. Today, we will be facing that fear again, with a new one.

I have small, almost unnoticeable tremors racing each other down my body and don't bother to eat. Instead, I keep my trembling fingers tucked away in my lap.

I notice no one else is eating. They are picking at their food, moving it around on their trays but not eating. I sigh, knowing I will need to be the leader. I pick up my fork and purposely scrape it on my tray as I scoop up some eggs, the greasy food almost making me puke. I hold it in and swallow, looking around at all of them pointedly.

They are slow but in the end, they do eat.

"I know it is hard." I tell the quietly, my voice shaking a little.

_-Help me!-_

"But we need to keep our strength up."

_-water swirling around, invading my body as I float...helpless.-_

"We need to be strong when we face our fears."

_-my blood swirling around me as I choke on salt and liquid..burning as it scrapes my throat.-_

"Because none of us want to be Factionless."

_-no one is going to help me.-_

"Not like Josh, Taylor, Blade, Raven, Andy and Jon now are."

_-finally giving in..a dreamy peacefulness falling over me.-_

"We have fallen down once."

_-and I slip away from life...finally free.-_

"Now we need to get back up so we can be knocked down again. Because we are Dauntless." I look around the table, forcibly locking the memory out of my mind. My fellow initiates are pale but nod in agreement, a new determination in their eyes. I nod back at them, flinching as Ellie brushes my hand. Before she can pull it away, I grasp it tightly, needing the comfort. She leans on my side and I fight back tears as I stare blankly at my tray.

I don't want to face my father today.

Please don't let me face my father today.

"Paz?" I look up, relaxing a little when I see Jett. I get up and round the table, hugging him. Jett immediately hugs me back, knowing I need the contact. "Be strong, Butterfly. I believe in you." He whispers and I nod into his neck, pulling away. I silently take my pill and swallow it down, Eric and Four approaching our table.

I avoid looking at the blonde Leader and instead hug Jett one last time before resuming my seat.

"Follow us, initiates." We all silently get up, the boundaries and lines gone. We walk together, closing ranks around each other in a protective way. Stage two has pulled made us a whole group is a way nothing else could. We walk quietly to the tunnel, waiting in the hall and sending supportive looks and shoulder squeezes to the ones that go first.

Like yesterday, the wait is what kills us. Even more now that we know what to expect. We get called in in the same order but unlike yesterday, when someone comes out, they stay with us; drawing on the offered and needed silent support. We don't care who is friends with who now because a deeper bond is running through the entire group.

Finally, Ellie and I are called. We share a hug and then go to our separate rooms. Eric closes the door behind us and I lay back in the chair, my pulse racing. Eric silently pulls the sunglasses off again and brushes my hair to the side. His steel gaze is hard and distant, making me even more nervous. I would have preferred to have the no doubt more sympathetic Four but Ellie needs that comfort more than me.

See Eric? I can be brave...sometimes.

"What? No inspiring words today?" I ask, staring nervously up at the ceiling as he injects me and pulls away. Eric's shoulders tense but he doesn't face me as he replies.

"They didn't work yesterday. So I figured why bother?" He answers, eerily calm and I fidget in the chair. He straps me in and I try to slow my breathing but my body and brain know what is about to happen. Eric waits for the serum to kick in and watches me with folded arms, ignoring my questioning glance.

In moments, my vision goes black.

_When I open my eyes, I am on a life raft._

_The sky is a beautiful blue, clouds drifting along; a fluffy white. I lay back, enjoying the gentle rocking of the sea waves. The wind gently ruffles my hair and I sigh happily, all my tension melting away. The sun warms me and keeps me calm. I hum lightly to myself, something I haven't done in years. The wind pulls at my hair and I laugh, not bothering to open my eyes. I fling my arms above my head and arch my back, settling back down sleepily. The wind picks up speed and I pout at having to open my eyes._

_The raft rocks violently and I shoot up, grasping the rubber. I look up, the sky turning an ominous black with flashes of lightning. The raft rocks violently again and I whimper, afraid. The waves are growing bigger, swelling up and crashing down onto each other. I watch with wide eyes, the spray slapping me harshly in the face. The raft rocks again and a small scream escapes me._

_Liquid gathers around my feet and I look down with horror. There is a small tear in the raft and I drop down, grasping the edges and desperately trying to keep them shut. I sigh as the water stops leaking through the blue raft but more water is pooling around my ankles. I look around, my eyes widening when I spot several more small tears that water is gushing through._

_At a loss, I start scooping the water out frantically, fear making me sloppy. I slip and scream with fear as the raft splits open and I drop into the ocean. The cold water is a shock to my system and I cough violently, the salt water scraping my throat._

_"Help!" I scream loudly, my head slipping under before I paddle myself back up to the surface. "HELP ME!" I scream out, crying. Tears stream down my face and mix with the sea. I slip under again and come up, coughing. "Help me! Somebody!" I cry out, my arms tiring. A large wave crashes over me and I tumble around like a leaf in the wind. Salt stings my eyes and little cuts appear all over my body. My blood swirls around me, strangely hypnotic but terror pounding through my veins makes me discard it. I start to swim, my lungs burning and pleading for air._

_Pain radiates all over my body from the salt and cuts and I can barely focus. __My heartbeat becomes louder and louder and I almost give in. I almost open my mouth and let the water take me away but a flare of defiance gives me strength and I renew my kicks and struggles._

_I open my eyes, the salt stinging them and look around. My blood clouds the water but- there. A dark shape floats to my side and hope lights in my heart. I know how to swim. Back Before, Jett and I used to sneak over to Amity and play around in the lakes they had over there. I strike out, cupping my palms and kicking my feet._

_I get closer, my lungs burning for air and finally reach it. _

_I realize it is a part of the floating raft as I struggle onto it, couching the burning saltwater from my lungs. I collapse onto my knees, noticing the burning of my cuts. The salt stings in them and the pain grows. I wipe at my arms frantically, my eyes widening when I see blue flames licking up my skin. _

_I scream, terror racing through me. I stumble to my feet, looking around. I am now in a forest and flames are circling me. I back away from the smothering heat, yelping and whirling around when I bump into a burning tree. I look around, the flames crawling towards me and I see a small, untouched tree. _

_I race over to it, climbing up. _

_For a moment, cool air envelopes me and then I yelp. I am tied up! I struggle against the ropes, the thick smoke invading my lungs and causing me to cough violently. I whimper with fear as the flames start to creep up the tree, coming closer and closer to my feet. I struggle against the ropes, yanking against them but I have no way to get free.  
_

_I scream, high and agonized. _

_The flames lick at my feet, eating my flesh. The flames make crackling, popping, hissing noises and I pant desperately. My eyes are wide as I struggle more before arching my back in agonizing pain. I scream louder as the flames reach higher, greedily eating my body. It reaches my head and I can feel my skin melting away and my bones burning to ashes as I become nothing._

My eyes shoot open and I jerk wildly in the chair, the restraints panicking me even more.

Eric releases me and I scramble from the chair, scraping desperately at my arms. In my terror-stricken eyes, the flames are still there, crawling up my arms and eating away at me. I claw, the new pain not even registering on my threshold. Large hands clamp down on my arms and Eric rattles me.

"Stop! Nothing is there. You are out of the sim. You are safe." He says stiffly and I stare at him with large, wet eyes. I let my head fall forward, the reassuring thump of his heart calming me down a little.

"Thank you." I whisper, my voice hoarse and broken. He makes no move to comfort me but allows me to lean on him and gather myself up. His heart thumps slow and steady and I match my breathing to it, my trembling slowing down. His hands are warm on my arms and I focus on that, banishing flames from my brain.

I am finally somewhat calm and back away. Eric watches me with stormy blue-gray eyes and I nod at him. He nods back and strides over to the screens.

"You didn't give up. You faced your fears and you fought. That is Dauntless. And that is how it is done." He says, not looking over his shoulder and I nod, knowing he won't see it. That was Eric-speak for you did good. I would laugh if the terror wasn't still thrumming faintly through my body.

I slip silently out the door.

**XXX**

I stare up at the ceiling, dwelling on my fears.

Everyone has either gone to get tattoos, change their hair, get a piercing or party in the Pit. I sigh to myself. I did notice Ellie and Ander holding hands as they slipped out the door though. A small smile brightens my face before it slowly fades away.

_-burning as the flames eat my flesh...-_

I roll out of bed stiffly, pulling on a tank top, dark jeans and combat boots. I lace them up and leave the room quickly. My breath is coming faster and it isn't because I am jogging through the tunnels. My fear flashes in my brain and I speed up, shoving it away. I enter the Pit, wiggling through the crowds and spot my friends.

They are passing a bottle around, laughing and joking around. My heart lightens and I intercept the bottle, taking a deep swig from it. The burning liquid goes down smooth and they cheer at me, ruffling my hair and patting my back. They don't comment on my black eye or the bruise on my cheek and I grin, taking another deep pull and hand the bottle off to someone else.

A gentle buzz settles over me as we laugh and play around.

"Dance with me!" Raza demands drunkenly, grasping my arms and twirling me around.

"No, no!" I laugh, shaking my head and pulling away. He pouts, taking my hands, pointing them in front of us and hopping us around. I giggle wildly, both of us stumbling and trying to keep our balance. Raza twirls me and then lets go. I spin crazily, hitting what feels like a brick wall and falling down. I laugh crazily, Raza helping me up.

He settles an arm around my waist as we sway drunkenly, struggling to stay upright. My unfocused eyes see who I bumped into and a bright smile lights up my eyes.

"Eric!" I cheer and turn to Raza. "It's Eric!" I whisper-shout and he nods crazily. "What does he want?!" I whisper-shout again and Raza shrugs.

"I don't know!" He whisper-shouts back. "Ask him!" I giggle at Raza as his form tilts crazily. He grasps my hands and twirls around with me again. I throw my head back, laughter bubbling out as we dance drunkenly. Large hands clamp down on my waist and pull me away. I hang over Eric's thick arm, laughing crazily as Raza falls to the ground. He pouts, getting up and stumbling over to Emily, pulling her into a dance.

"What do you think you are doing, initiate?" Eric asks coldly, and I shrug, leaning back and letting my head loll on his shoulder.

"I am not supposed to be thinking. I am supposed to be drunk." I pout, melting into his side and Eric shakes his head at me. "What?" I ask, staring up into his quicksilver eyes. He furrows his brow and opens his mouth.

"Eric!" An obnoxious voice coos and I stiffen, cringing away from it. Eric smirks before looking at the buxom red-head. She is wearing a bralet and a tight leather miniskirt. Her smoky green eyes land on me in his arms and she raises an eyebrow. "Who is this?" She asks jealously and I giggle into his shoulder.

"Who is this?" I mock loudly and a smirk lights up Eric's eyes before he looks back at her.

"Just an initiate." He responds and I stiffen, pulling against him. Eric tightens his grip on my waist and I cross my arms, pouting.

"Then let me go!" I cry childishly and a laugh rumbles in his throat.

"No." He answers, a smirk playing around the edges of his mouth and the girl huffs.

"I thought we were going to get drunk and have wild sex in your apartment." The girl speaks up, sending me a smug look. I roll my eyes and stick my tongue out at her and she stares in surprise. I giggle happily, clapping my hands and leaning against Eric.

"Well _I'm _drunk, maybe we should go have wild sex!" I tease and mock and Eric stiffens against my side. I giggle as I see a bewildered Emily and drunk Raza spin past us. I try to twirl after them, the lights spinning so prettily but an arm around my waist prevents me from leaving.

"Now that sounds like an idea." Eric grins wolfishly and I stare at him for a moment before a crimson blush spreads across my cheeks. He stares at me, caught off guard. I never blush. And when I say never, I mean _never._

My wavering gaze falls on my best friend sitting in a chair making out with a brunette on his lap and I cheer. "Jett!" I shout and he turns toward me automatically. "You're all grown up!" I coo and wave for him to come over to me, a gleeful grin on my face as Eric tenses. I wiggle away from Eric and throw myself enthusiastically at my best friend.

"There you are. I was looking for you." He says, laughing as I make a face, stumbling against him. "You're drunk!" He says, delighted. Jett loves it when I get drunk because then all of my walls come down. "You promised you would never drink without me!" He exclaims and I giggle, holding a sloppy finger to my mouth and shhing him.

"Quiet! Jett will hear you!" I tell him seriously and Jett laughs, his dark eyes alight. I beam at him, pressing a sloppy kiss to his cheek. He laughs, a lock of his dark hair falling into his eyes and I tug playfully on it, before smoothing it back. Jett squeezes my waist and I giggle, squirming away as his nimble fingers find my ticklish spots.

"Jett! Don't!" I pout and he throws his head back, laughing full and loud. I watch him, a radiant smile on my face that matches the adoring gleam in my eyes. It doesn't matter how drunk I am, I still love Jett.

"Jett, come on babe." I pout, hearing someone else use _my _nickname for _my _Jett. I look past him and see the same brunette that stormed out of his apartment and frown.

"Only I can call you that." I pout, nuzzling his shoulder and he grins, nodding. I giggle with the laughter rumbling in his chest and sway dizzily. Jett pulls me to his side, stabilizing me and I rest a hand on his chest.

"True!" He agrees cheerfully and I nod happily. The girl sets her hands on her hips angrily and I snicker, pushing away from my best friend.

"He's mine, not yours. Or yours, not mine!" I say happily, my slight form swaying lightly. Eric raises an eyebrow beside me while Jett snickers and wraps his arms around my waist, leaning his head around mine, brushing our cheeks together. I automatically smile fondly, turning my head and nuzzling his cheek.

"Why are you drunk?" Jett asks, and the girl tugs on his arm, pulling him reluctantly from me. I frown petulantly, crossing my arms as my possessive instincts flare up before I beam at him.

"I was burning!" I tell him, my eyes darkening a little and I grab someones drink, chugging it down. Eric pulls the cup away from me and glares at the pissed off guy, causing him to move away. I giggle, closing my eyes. "Now I want to forget." I say, a somber trace shining through before I open my eyes and fling my arms out happily. "And I can!" I cheer, dancing around. I stop twirling and put a hand to my head. "Whoa!" I exclaim, nothing bringing my good mood down.

"You need to get sober." Eric, an amused smirk on his face and Jett shoots him an angry look.

"You need to back off!" He tells him, stepping slightly in front of me; his protective instincts flaring. Panic clashes with my drunkenness as the two guys face off. Jett is as tall as Eric but not as muscled. That doesn't stop them from glaring and flexing their muscles as they go head to head. I fling myself in between them and shove at Jett.

"Take me to my friends?" I pout pleadingly, winding my arms around his neck and resting my chin on his chest while his hands fall to my waist. Wavering and still mad, he clenches his jaw, staring at Eric angrily. "Jett?" I call and he finally looks down at me, softening.

"Fine. Let's go." He swings me into his arms, striding though the crowd, his brunette reluctantly following. I peer over his shoulder at where Eric is staring after us with a venomous glare and blow him a kiss, waving happily. His eyes widen and then narrow at me. The red-head presses against him and I scowl. He grins at me before turning to her and kissing her harshly, molding their forms together.

Hurt flares in me and I drop my head into Jett's shoulder, my drunkenness heightening my emotions.

I feel like crying.

**XXX**

_It reaches my head and I can feel my skin melting away and my bones burning to ashes as I become nothing._

_Blessed coolness washes over me and I sigh happily. The cushions underneath me providing comfort. A sound like gravel hitting the roof makes me furrow my brow and a sigh whooshes out of me. I reluctantly open my eyes, trying to be quiet so I don't wake up father. Gravel showers the roof again and I roll my eyes into the dark night. _

_I sit up and blinding pain erupts in my forehead._

_I clap a hand to the sore spot and take deep breaths until the pain fades. Uncertainty resonates within me but I raise a shaking hand up anyway. About six inches up, my hand hits wood. I gently explore it, my breath coming in fearful pants and my heart in my throat._

_I push against the smooth wood and hope alights in me when it gives a little. I push harder, and the top swings back. I scramble to my feet and look around. Sun shines down and I can clearly see the four walls of dirt. A shower of something hits my head and I shake it onto the white fabric that is in...a coffin. I notice the dirt fall from my head and slowly look up._

_My Mother, Father, Jett, Ander, Ellie, Misty, Violette, Sam, Mike, Ty, Taylor, Raza, Dean, Josh, Sasha, Izzy and Ander stand around my grave with stoic faces. Then, in one smooth movement, seventeen shovels of dirt rain down on me. I stumble back, hitting one of the walls of my grave as the horror mounts inside of me. _

_"Stop!" I shout, but they show no sign of hearing me. More dirt rains down and I am frozen with horror. My feet won't move and I can't say anything. I look pleadingly at their faces, fear and sorrow winning the battle in my heart as they bury me alive._

This time, when I wake, I wake slowly.

Sorrow resonates so deeply within me, it feels like the world has gone gray.

The restraints fall down and I slowly sit up, my movements sluggish as I slip from the chair. I catch sight of my reflection in the screens and I stop. My eyes are dark with fear, dried tears staining my cheeks. I look pale as a sheet, my hair a tangled mess. I have a look of loss and deep fear in my eyes and I hardly recognize myself.

Eric steps forward but I shake my head and flee, distraught at my fear and the memory of him kissing the girl. He had a hickey on his neck the next day and this past couple of days, I have been avoiding him.

I don't pause for my group, waiting for me. Ellie reaches for me and I flinch away, shaking my head and worry grows in her eyes. Mute, I run.

It isn't until I hear the loud roar and the water flecks my face that I realize I am at the Chasm. I look down at the raging water and wonder what it must be like to be an unstoppable force of nature. What must it be like to have a path carved out for you and you believe in it so strongly that nothing can ever stop you?

I slide down the rail and let my feet dangle over as I stare, mesmerized by the strength, speed and conviction of the river.

**XXX**

After a couple of hours, I get up and give the river one last glance.

I sigh heavily before continuing on my way to the med unit. I stride in, my hands in my pockets and my head lowered.

"Hey, kid." I look up and give Doc a weak smile, sitting down on the padded table. "I take it today was a bad one?" He says sympathetically and I nod, my blank gaze returning to the floor. He sighs and gets up, walking over. I tense a little, my hands clenching into fists in my pockets as he gently pokes and prods my shoulder. As soon as he backs away, I relax a little.

My black eye has healed with only a little bit of yellowed skin under my eye and my bruise is also almost gone. I rotate my shoulder, already knowing what to do. I hold my arm out and windmill it one way and then switch directions. I lift my arm as high as it will go, push my arm back as far as it will go and cross my arm over my chest.

"No pain." I tell him, knowing that the tear in my shoulder muscle was fully head a two days ago but I wanted to rest it a little. He nods, marking it down in his papers.

"All right. Today is the last day of the week and if I remember correctly, you initiates get the weekend off. Don't strain your muscles in your arm and you should be good to go on Monday." He tells me and I nod, hopping down. I silently hand him the rest of the pills, the bag almost full.

I don't like clouding my brain with drugs. I need to be sharp on my feet. Besides, pain has been one of the constants in my life. It doesn't paralyze me like it does normal people.

"Thanks Doc." I turn to go and he clears his throat behind me. I turn cautiously, raising an eyebrow and he gestures for me to follow him. We silently cross to a different room and I am right on his heels. I stop in the doorway, sweeping my gaze over the six people in the beds. "These are the initiates that were cut." I say neutrally, knowing what happened and wanting him to say it. He nods and looks down at them.

"Our Leader Max was escorting them to the Factionless and they were attacked. These initiates had been cut and had no reason to want to save our Leaders lives. They could have been petty and cruel. They could have run away. But instead, they stood and fought with the rest of our full Dauntless members. One of them saved Max's life, taking a bullet for him." He nods at Taylor, who is pale and is breathing weakly. "I don't know if she will pull through. This may be her last night. The rest of them are going to be given a second chance at passing Stage Two because of the bravery and loyalty they showed to our Faction." He stops and turns to me.

"What?" I question, crossing the room and sitting on a stool in between Taylor and Josh. I look up at Doc, who is watching me warily.

"The thing that confuses us all, is the fact they were even attacked. The Factionless don't normally do things like this. And once the initiate saved Max's life, they just...left. Like they had done their job and were done." He says and I meet his gaze steadily.

"Really? That is interesting." I tell him and Doc nods sharply.

"It is indeed." He mummers and I nod. They don't know. I relax a little. After we found out about the possibility of Josh and Taylor being cut, I knew I had to do something so I sent Jett out. He pretended to be Factionless and spread the word that if a small group of them attacked the ones with the initiates and made a small attempt on Max's life so one of the initiates could save it, they would have food and clothing.

Jett sent them their gifts the other day, returning to me with a pale face and sorrowful eyes. He buried his head in my neck and I just held him, knowing it was hard for him. Josh had an older sister when he was younger and she didn't get a result on her simulation test. As a result, she was made Factionless. It was hard for Jett and he hasn't ever really gotten over it. It instilled a deep sense of fear in the both of us.

I never would have asked him to do that if it wasn't important and he only went because I asked it of him.

"All except the one that got shot will be released tomorrow. The news will be told at breakfast." Doc finishes and I nod, gently holding Taylor and Josh's hands. They don't stir and I release them, getting up.

"Thanks Doc." I say one last time, pausing at the door before continuing on my way. I wander the tunnels for a little until my feet carry me back to the room. I pause in the doorway, watching everyone gathered around Eric at the back wall.

"There you are!" Ellie exclaims, moving quickly to my side and tugging me forward. We wiggle our way to the front of the group, where Ander is waiting for us. Ellie and I move to his side, watching Eric at the board curiously. The screen ripples and he moves out of the way.

"These are the rankings for Stage Two right now. Keep in mind, you can fall down the ranks just as easily as you rise through them." Eric booms, his bulky shoulders rippling as he crosses his arms. I stare past him, my gaze locked on the board.

**Stage Two Rankings**

**1 - Ellie - 15:37.52**

**2 - Dean - 17:42.38**

**3 - Ander - 21:54.27**

**4 - Tabby - 21:58.50**

**5 - Raza - 22:26.33**

I skip farther down the list and pale when I see where I am.

**13 - Paz - 40:59.60**

Shit. I am two spots above the red line. If I don't kick my ass into gear, I am going to be cut. My time isn't the worst but it is down there. The longest time is 2 hours and 49 minutes and that is Sandra's time. Ellie stares at me with wide eyes, fear swirling in the blue orbs. Ander's hiss of in-drawn breath lets me know he sees my score.

My group huddles around me, closing ranks with fear.

"You have this weekend off so enjoy it. This will be the last weekend off. When Monday comes, we are going to be doing the fear sims again. This time, in addition there are classes you can sign up for. These classes will be held after the simulations are done. I will no longer be doing the sims, that will be Lauren and Four. I will be leading a few of the classes. You can sign up for one or all, it doesn't matter. The classes are all going to be held at different times anyway. Once you sign up for a class, you cannot back out, no matter how hard it is for you. If you want to enter a class after they officially begin, you may or may not be allowed to. That is up to the teacher but I am warning you now, it will not be allowed with me. The list is being put up on the outside of your door. Sign your name and you will be gathered into the correct class after your sim is done." His piece said, Eric sweeps his gaze coldly over all of us, not even pausing on me before he strides out of the room.

We all follow him and look at the door.

**Stage Two Classes**

**Physical Ed - Teacher: Eric**

**Hand-to-Hand Combat - Teacher: Eric + Amar**

**Med Training - Teacher: Doc**

**Cooking - Teacher: Cookie**

**Mechanical Training - Teacher: Jethro**

**Obstacle Course/Endurance - Teacher: Eric**

**Weapons training - Teacher: Eric + Four**

**Tattoo Assistant: Tori + Bud**

I wait for everyone to sign up before I take my turn.

I sign up for the Physical Education, Weapons Training, Hand-to-Hand Combat, Mechanical Training, and Obstacle Course/Endurance. Ellie sign up for Physical Education, Weapons Training, Hand-to-Hand Combat, Obstacle Course/Endurance and Tattoo Assistant. Ander signed up for Physical Education, Weapons Training, Hand-to-Hand combat, Mechanical Training, and cooking. I raise an eyebrow at him and he shrugs with a grin.

Raza signed up for the same classes as me, but with the addition of Med Training. He slings an arm over my shoulder.

"Looks like it's you and me!" Raza smirks playfully and turn on him, wrestling him into a headlock and rubbing my knuckles into the top of his head. "Ah! NO! Not the noogie!" He shouts and we burst into laughter.

**XXX**

A little while later, Raza leaves to go hang out with a few of his buddies.

Ellie and Ander make excuses and leave. I wonder when I should let them know I know? I grin at the thought of the looks on their faces when I tell them. I sigh, finding myself in the same position as the night when I got drunk and Eric kissed someone else and did a lot more with them. I pout, remembering his body against mine.

_-His eyes widen before he narrows them, a guttural growl escaping him as I brush my finger over the tip of his erection. The feeling fascinates me, the throbbing warmth over a length of steel. His girth is impressive, I can't even fit my hand all the way around him. I slide my hand down and tug up and Eric tenses as he widens his stance.-_

My breath catches and I twist my legs, the throbbing warmth in the apex of my thighs more intense. I look around and muffle my groan, knowing I can't take care of my problem, even if I wanted to. And believe me, I do. I just won't do it in front of five different people that have yet to leave the room and probably won't.

I run a frustrated hand through my multicolored curls, tightening my fist.

The flash of pain only makes me more aroused. I like a little pain with my pleasure. My eyes glaze over as I remember-

_-He groans and kisses me again, harsh and needy. I moan into his mouth and he massages my chest, twisting my nipple harshly. I arch against him as the coil in my stomach snaps and I lose myself to a haze of pleasure.-_

I pant quietly, needing to distract myself.

I reach into the drawer under my bed and grab the pencil case and pad of paper Tori gave me. I hurry out of the room, my flushed face drawing attention from Mike and Ty but I ignore their knowing grins. I burst into the hallway and jog through the tunnels, dodging around people, my destination bright in my mind. I reach the tattoo parlor and nod at Misty and Violette, seeing them get some tattoos.

I move through the shop, looking, looking and- there.

I stride over to Tori, my gaze focused on her.

"Tori?" I ask, stopping behind her and she turns to me, moving out of the way of her client. My eyes widen as I see Eric lounging in the chair. My dark blue gaze travels appreciatively down his bare chest, the dips and creases of his muscles drawing my eyes. I see the block tattoos continue down his chest, stopping above his waistband. His muscles ripple and my gaze snaps up to his. I release my lip from between my teeth, turning away from his smirking gaze.

"What's up, kid? You finish your drawings?" She asks, shutting off her needle gun. I shake my head, hyper aware of Eric lounging lazily right there.

"I haven't even started. I need a quiet place and I was wondering-"

"Of course!" She grins, standing up and gesturing for me to follow her. Eric shifts in his chair as I walk past him and he lands a smack on my butt. I jerk around, staring at him with wide eyes, a flush rising in my cheeks.

"I can't help but wonder how far down that blush goes." He rumbles and I clench my jaw, narrowing my eyes. Without a word, I whirl around and stalk after Tori. She opens a black door and ushers me inside. It is a nice sized room with a dark red couch, a desk against either wall, a low coffee table set in front of the dark red couch and two more on either side of it and a shaggy black rug in the middle of the room. Lining the walls are papers with drawings, sayings and sometimes just plain scribbles. Dim violet lights give the room a cozy but dangerous look and I can already feel my fingers itch to draw.

"This is the Drawing Room. It is where all of us artists eventually come. It is the best place for our ideas to just flow. If you get hungry or thirsty, we keep that fridge fully stocked-" I notice a small silver fridge in the corner and nod. "-and if you need anything, feel free to let me know. Just- try not to trash the room or anything. Normally we don't allow anyone but the tattoo artists in here and if you break our room, we break you." Tori threatens with a Dauntless fire and I nod, grinning at her.

"Don't worry. I wouldn't dare. This room is awesome. I can already feel the need to get my drawings done." She grins at me, her dark eyes laughing.

"You sound like one of us already!" She slaps my shoulder in a friendly way and then leaves, shutting the door behind her. I move over to the couch, kicking off my combat boots and curling up against the soft arm of the couch. I hesitate, unsure of what to draw. I look around the room, biting my lip and my eyes land on a stereo sitting on a tall silver stand. I look up and around, noticing the speakers on shelves around the room. I stroll over and turn it on, pulling out the CD. It is blank. I shrug and put it back in, turning it on. The screen shows me the name of the song just before it comes on.

Death Zone by Apocalyptica. A sweet sorrowful violin rings in my ears, a gentle piano tune picking up. Then a deeper bass starts up and the music throbs in my soul. It sounds soft and deadly and I sway gently, mesmerized. I turn, swaying to the music and sink into the couch. For a moment, I close my eyes and let the music sink into my very being. Then I flip open my pad of paper. I unzip the pencil case, pulling out a dark blue, black and light blue.

I start drawing, the strokes and scratching sound of paper and pencil soothing me in a way few others do. I use the black pencil to do the outline, the dark blue to do the shading and the lighter blue is the main color. I curve and tease and flawlessly color in my drawing and when I finish and sit back, pride fills me.

I have a drawing of fiery water. It starts out thin on the bottom and swells out, curving like a wave but the water has the unmistakable small curves and licks of flames. The blue flames are outlined with black, lending it an edgy look and accomplishment fills me.

This will be my first tattoo.

It will represent both my fear of drowning and my fear of burning. I cock my head to the side, the music swelling in the background. I look at the back of the door where a floor length mirror is. I walk over to it and look myself over. I lift my shirt to just under my boob and brush my fingers gently over my side. I press the tips to my right hip and nod.

I will have the blue flaming wave rising from my right hipbone. I grin at my reflection, my eyes lit up. I turn and walk back to the couch, flipping to a new page. For my fear of being buried alive, I won't be so literal. Instead, I draw slightly smudged, thin, curved trees with few branches and patches of leaves. Three of them curve out of a small dark patch of dirt. The smudge makes it look ominous and I decide to do it all in black and dark shades of gray.

I will put that on my left hip. It will rise from the small plot of dirt on my hipbone.

I flip to a new page, this time addressing my fear of the future. It is actually two fears, fear of the future and fear of losing control. For that, I use looping letters and write: _Come what may._ Something that will help me with my need for control. I plan on putting that on the back of my left leg, on the calf.

My other fears are snakes, fear of falling with nothing/no one to catch me, fear of being Factionless, fear of being dive-bombed by angry birds (I shudder, those beaks can be vicious), fear of failure, fear of dying (which ties into pretty much every one of my fears), and the last one is a combination fear. It is a fear of pain/fear of my father. (The one who causes the pain.) In total, I have 14 fears which is pretty good.

Most people have 16 to 20. The only reason I am so low on the rankings is because of how my fears affect me. They strike deep into my soul and force me to face the deepest and weakest parts of myself. Determination flares in me and feel the burn rising. If you ask me, I am competitive. If you ask Jett, I am crazy competitive and super fucking ambitious. Whatever way you want to say it, I have no plans on leaving this faction. I flip my pad of paper shut, zip up my pencil case and shut off the stereo. I leave the room with a determined stride, a smirk set on my face and a glint in my eyes.

Ellie squeals as she sees me, launching herself my way.

Laughing, I catch her and she drops down. Ander grins and those of my group that are here, gather around.

"What?" I ask, looking at all of them.

"You're back!" Ellie squeals and I raise my eyebrows.

"Oh?" I ask delicately. "I wasn't aware I was gone." I tease and Ellie rolls her eyes happily.

"You were." She says confidently. "And now you are back." I laugh, shaking my head at her.

"Okay, wait a sec and we can leave when you are ready. I'll be right back." My smirk is laughing this time as I move confidently over to where Tori is still working on Eric. "Hey, Tori." I greet her brightly, running a hand through my hair and ruffling it. She glances up at me and grins.

"I knew it! A true artist. You have that look in your eyes like you are about to conquer the world. It's the Dauntless fire, girl!" She tells me and I grin, hitching up a shoulder and shrugging casually, my eyes calculating and sly.

"I have no clue what you are talking about." I tease and she laughs cheerfully.

"You ready to let me see?" She asks and I shake my head.

"Nah. I only have three done. I plan on doing quite a few more." I tell her, a wide smirk on my face.

"Sure thing! Remember, just let me know whenever you are ready." She tells me and I nod.

"I promised!" I hitch a shoulder, looking coyly at her. Eric shifts in his seat and I turn my gaze on his. He stills, his muscles tensed as I run my eyes thoroughly down his large frame and back up. I stare him in the eye before rolling my eyes and striding away.

"Did-" Ellie begins.

"You just-" Sasha picks up.

"Eye fuck _Eric_-" Misty joins in.

"And find him _lacking_?" Violette finishes incredulously and I run another hand through my hair, ruffling it casually.

"Yup." I stride past them and they pause before they chase after me. Yelping with laughter, I pick up my stride and we stream through the tunnels, dodging, shoving, shouting and generally being alive.

* * *

JoalCatherine - I know what you mean. Eric is so hot, he can be as mean as he wants and still be awesome!

Guest chapter - I think Eric would agree with you on that! Pazia, no. Paz, yes!

MyhusbandsaPRICK - First: nice name! Second: if I could give you an Eric on top, I probably would try to keep him for myself! ;)

J chapter - Thank you so much! I really appreciate that.

Sophie - Thanks, and I think the last chapter was almost one of my favorites but wait til you read the next chapters!

_And finally, a big thank you to those of you that fav/followed my story!_

Friggatriskaidekaphobia, HeSetMeFree, gw82, ShadowHunter19, and AmaranteX.

Just a thought, but reviews always prompt me to send in the next chapter...with a little Paz/Eric goodness...review!


	8. Chapter 8 - Settling into Stage Two

A/N: Disclaimer: I don't own the Divergent world. I only own Pazia. (Pronounced: Pah-ze-ah.) All outfits are on my profile. This story is set after Four and Eric became Dauntless but the year before Tris became Dauntless.

**_Rating:_** _M_

**_Word_**_** Count:** 8, 203_

_I'm pretty sure you guys are going to hate me for what I have done at the end of this chapter. Like, seriously kill me. Please don't! With that cryptic little comment, enjoy this next chapter!_

**Chapter Eight**

* * *

_**Previously on Battle Scars:**_

_"Did-" Ellie begins._

_"You just-" Sasha picks up._

_"Eye fuck **Eric**-" Misty joins in._

_"And find him lacking?" Violette finishes incredulously and I run another hand through my hair, ruffling it casually._

_"Yup." I stride past them and they pause before they chase after me. Yelping with laughter, I pick up my stride and we stream through the tunnels, dodging, shoving, shouting and generally being alive._

* * *

I stumble out of the room, pale.

I hate my Father. I hate him. The same burning, writhing rage from the day he attacked me lights deep in my stomach and one of the initiates flinches away from me. I take a deep breath and force it back, moving over to my group. Ellie is already out. I pull her into a hug, the both of us relaxing a little. I grin in greeting at Ty, Raven, Andy, Jon, Blade and Josh. They grin back and I look in question at them. They frown, shrugging their shoulders. I nod, understanding Taylor is still hanging in there.

"You were faster today." Ander speaks up, his green eyes lighting up.

"Yeah?" I ask, a proud smile making me look younger. "Does anyone know my time?" I ask and they shake their heads. "Eh." I shrug my shoulder and sit down with them. "Doesn't matter." I say but the dark feeling in my gut says it does.

"You shaved your time down by five minutes." Eric says coldly, striding out of the room and I grin triumphantly, accepting Raza's enthusiastic hug. He lifts me off my feet and I squeal happily, hugging him back.

"What's going on?" Four asks, opening his door and letting Emily out.

"I shaved five minutes off my time." I smirk happily and Four grins, shrugging a shoulder.

"Good on you." He nods and I follow him with my gaze as he strides away.

"Yes! You are rising through the ranks!" Ellie squeals, shaking me and I look away from him, grinning at Ellie.

"Damn straight!" I tell her arrogantly and they burst into laughter.

"That's enough!" Eric snaps and we smother our snickers, sobering up as we turn to the Dauntless leader. "Surprisingly enough, all of you have signed up for my first class, Physical Education. Follow me as I lead you to where we will be training. I will expect you to be in this room everyday after today after your sim session. I will not be babying anyone. Unlike with stage one, I will be pushing you to your limits and beyond." Eric says commandingly, leading all of us through the tunnels.

Thanks to my total recall, I have no problem memorizing little markers. We are travelling deeper into Dauntless than we have ever been before and yet Eric seems completely confident in his movements. I tear my gaze away from him as we reach our destination. There is no door but instead a large opening in the rock. We walk through and my eyes widen.

There is rows of treadmills on the left, against the far wall are weight sets, on the far left is ropes hanging down from the ceiling. I look behind me and see on the left side of the opening is targets, moving and still. On the right side of the opening is punching dummies. Out in the middle of the room is one large fighting ring.

Eric strides in and comes to a stop right in front of the ring. He smiles, slow and dangerously, his blue-gray eyes glinting. My stomach tightens at that positively wicked look and I look away. Ellie wiggles her eyebrows at me and I give Ander a slow look before raising an eyebrow at her. Her cheeks flush a bright pink and her eyes widen. I smirk smugly and turn to the front.

"To start with, we are running. Everyone pick a treadmill and start it up." Eric shouts, and we move immediately. To my surprise, Eric pulls on of the treadmills around and wheels it so it is facing the three rows of other treadmills. His muscles flex powerfully and I curse my hormones as I want to jump on him. And not in the way most of the other trainees want to.

I climb onto a treadmill second to last on the first row. Raza claims the last one on the first row, Ellie and Ander on my other side. Ander sighs in resignation as he notices himself right in front of Eric. I step on the side panels of the treadmill and snicker, glad I opted to wear my exercise pants. My baggy sweater is going to heat me up but it will help me sweat and if I need to, I can always pull it off because I have a tank top and sports bra on underneath.

"Bet you are glad you wore sneakers today, huh?" Ellie teases and I roll my eyes at her, not wanting to admit she is right. She grins, knowing she is right and I flip her off.

"Start your treadmills!" Eric barks and I do, snickering at Ellie, who jumped. She glares at me but follows and starts up her treadmill. Slowly the treadmill starts and I step on, not holding on to the handles. I walk with the treadmill and furrow my brow in confusion when it moves faster. "As you may be noticing, these treadmills are hooked to mine. Which means you go as fast and long as I do." Eric announces and I look at him with shock, my remark caught in my throat.

Eric has pulled off his vest and long sleeved shirt, revealing a black tank top. It seems to be a few sizes too small and clings to his chest in a deliciously arousing way. My breath catches before speeding up as I focus on his large shoulders and brawny arms. Ellie coughs pointedly beside me and I tear my gaze away, determined to focus on my run. I jog lightly along with the rest of the initiates, breathing nice and easy. After ten minutes pass by, the treadmill speeds up.

I am abruptly reminded of my Choosing Day.

After we came racing out of the building, I remember feeling so gleeful and free. The stretch and release of my muscles is wonderfully addictive and I wonder how I didn't do this more often. I grin, my eyes sparkling as I continue at a light run for another 15 minutes. Some of the others are breathing hard, sweat pouring down their faces. I barely have any sweat at all and the easy run is something I can maintain for an hour or so.

Andy, one of the ones that got cut in the first stage is stumbling a little. I turn my head and watch anxiously. He hasn't been training with the rest of us. (We invited everyone along to our impromptu training sessions hours after the official training sessions end. As a result, we should be around the same fitness amount.)

Andy finally tries to shut off his treadmill. I glance forward, seeing Eric smile viciously and turn the treadmill faster. I easily keep up, my longer legs ensuring I have minimal problems. I glance back and see Andy breathing harder and harder, barely keeping up with the treadmill. As I watch, he slips and falls, hitting his head on the side. I wince as Eric climbs off the treadmill. We start to follow he glares at us.

"Did I say stop?" He asks icily and we slowly climb back on, exchanging glances with each other. A medic checks Andy over before helping drag him out of the room. Since Eric is gone, I climb off my treadmill and onto his.

"Ready guys?" I ask, raising an eyebrow. They groan, knowing what I am going to do but give resounding YES's in return. I grin at them before speeding the treadmill up to an outright _run_. I whoop with glee, running on the treadmill, loving the burn growing in my legs as we go faster. I keep an eye on those that are ready to fall off and at the last second, before they are ready to collapse, slow it down to a gentle fast walk. I repeat this a few times before slowing the treadmill down to what Eric had it at and climbing back onto my treadmill.

I exchange naughty glances with all of them and they grin in return. No sooner had we returned to Eric's speed did he also return. He swept his cold gaze over all of us, lingering knowingly on me before climbing up and starting us up. We silently run faster and faster before settling into another outright run. Eric holds it for a few minutes and I notice a few of my friends struggling.

"Hey Ander!" I shout and he looks at me, struggling. "I heard some Dauntless soldier was asking about Ellie the other day. He was pretty handsome." I flash a grin. "If you like muscles, dark hair, light blue eyes. You know, the classic bad boy." I tell him and he grits his teeth, knowing I am goading him but falling for it all the same. "Said he was going to pull her into a dark corner and have some fun!" I shout and he growls, running faster-almost too fast. I nod in satisfaction, ignoring the exasperated look Ellie is shooting my way.

Whenever someone looks like they are about to collapse, I use my Erudite skills and taunt them in their weak spots, angering them enough to keep going. After half an hour of straight-up running, Eric finally slows the machine, keeping us at a light jog. By this point, even _my_ muscles are killing me. I just know we are all going to be one big ball of pain tomorrow. My legs feel like jelly, my stomach is yelling at me and my mouth feels so fucking dry but I clench my jaw and fight through it.

Pain is nothing.

Eventually, we stop and Eric nods at us.

"None of you quit. Not what I expected but I get the feeling that it isn't because of your_ own_ strength but because another's." His eyes linger on me but I refuse to look up from where I have collapsed on the floor. Not until I get my breath back at least. "Regardless, you all stayed on and that has never happened the first day before. Now, get a bottle of water from the cooler over there and gather over here." Eric strides over to the punching bags and we trudge to the black cooler, grabbing bottles and gulping them down.

I make sure to sip it, not wanting to throw up. Ellie, Raza and Ander follow my example, prompting the others to do the same.

"You don't gulp it. Especially not after a run like that. If you do, you are setting yourself up for a brutal throw up session or sessions." I quietly inform them and a few of them grimace and shudder. I laugh, some strength flowing through me with the cool water and I move over to where Eric is waiting. I silently shove a water bottle at him before moving over to a punching bag. I wait patiently as everybody finds one and Eric finishes gulping down the water.

"Right, now we will be going with the punching bags..."

Eric puts us all to our paces, pushing us to our edges but not over. We exercise on the punching bags for about an hour, then moving on to the weights. Those were brutal. Then after that, he sets us on the ropes. We have to climb up to the top, only using our arms and then flip down. It was fun the first few times but then after you start getting rope burns on your hands from slipping and having to catch yourself, it stopped being fun and was just brutal.

We still didn't finish after that. Eric made us do dozens of sit ups (normal and side to side), squats, lunges, push ups, back bends, etc. By the time we finish, all of us are panting; covered in sweat and utterly exhausted.

"You have 10 minutes to eat and drink and rest. While you are doing that, you will gather in the center of the room." Eric says and we nod tiredly. I glance at the digital clock on the wall and groan when I see it is only 2:30.

"Kill me now." I groan and Ellie musters up a tiny snicker as we slowly move over to where a table has apples, packets of crackers, cheese, meat and water. We grab one each of each packet, an apple and the water. Eric has rolled a clear board over to the center of the room and there is some rustling as we pull our packets open.

"Now, this is Physical Education. While that includes exercise, it also includes what you need to keep your body in perfect physical shape." Eric tells us and then launches into a discussion about the proper foods, drinks, and sleep we should be giving our bodies. I listen avidly, absently nibbling on my food. I occasionally raise a hand to ask a question but other than that, we all listen closely. None of us want to be cut and all of us need to be in top shape to stay.

When the 10 minutes is up, we move stiffly.

"This is Amar." Eric gestures to the man from the train. He grins, his dark skin making his teeth an almost blinding white. He nods respectfully at Eric, the bun on the back of his head bobbing. "He will be co-teaching Hand-to-Hand Combat with me. We will be going back to the basics first and by the end of Stage Two, you will be well into the more advanced stuff." Eric announces, his voice easily carrying. We start out doing kicks and punches, repeating them over and over. At some point, we all zoned out and the movement became as natural as breathing. We were all startled when we were told to stop and practice against someone else.

Raza and I paired up, punching, blocking and returning the punch. Then I would kick, he would block and return the kick, making me block. We repeated the pattern. After a little while, Raza's eyes flicked past me and his handsome face went blank. I raised an eyebrow, robotically blocking a punch and returning it. He flicked his eyes past me and back. I gave a tiny nod, kicking out. Eric is behind me.

I marvel at how someone so big could be so graceful and quiet before blocking a kick and throwing a punch.

"Pause." Eric rumbles and Raza and I return to our starting position. "Now kick at him." I do as Eric says, kicking my foot out. "Pause." He says and walks around me, eyeing my form. My foot trembles a little, my muscles protesting. Eric takes it in and walks behind me, placing his hands on my hips. He twists them a little and steps back. "Now kick again." He orders. I do and my eyes wide at how much more powerful the kick is. Raza winces as he catches my foot on his forearm before grinning. I beam back, my eyes sparkling. "Better." He tells me and leans closer. I catch my breath, block a punch from Raza and returning one. "The next time you go on my treadmill will be the last time." He tells me quietly and I stiffen, twisting up. His blue eyes are dark as they stare into mine and my breath catches as he smirks before walking away.

Great.

Not only does he know I used his treadmill but now my hormones are raging again.

_Juuuust_ great.

**XXX**

"Those of you that have signed up for Med Training, Cooking or Mechanical Training, your trainers are here to collect you. Like with me, they will not be getting you tomorrow. If you do not show up to your classes, you can and will have points docked. This a test of commitment." Eric says calmly, his arms clasped behind his back. "Dismissed. Those of you that signed up for the Obstacle Course/Endurance and Weapons Training, I expect you in the next room over after dinner. Dismissed." Eric orders and we scatter. I wave to Ander and Raza as they head to Cooking and Med Training, respectively. Ellie grins at me and I roll my eyes at her.

"I get to relax!" She teases and I shove her shoulder. "Don't worry, I'll take a nap for the two of us!" She jokes and I mock-snarl, lunging at her. She shrieks with laughter, darting away and I relax, smiling after her.

"Having fun?" Jett asks, slinging an arm over my shoulder and pressing a kiss to my temple. I smile up at him and nod.

"Oh sure!" I say sarcastically and he snickers, tugging me to the others. We travel to the mechanical area and unlike with Eric, we move at a steady learning pace. I get to relax a little in the naturally lit room. Since I already know about vehicles, Jett is comfortable in letting me slide under one and tinker. I replace a cooling system in one of the massive armored vehicles and lift the hood.

"Jett?" I call him over and he hands a wrench to one of the newbies to use before walking over. "What's up with this one?" I ask, pulling my head out and wiping my hands off on a black streaked white towel on my shoulder.

"I wouldn't bother with this one if I were you. This is destined to be junked. The coolers cracked, it has blown fuses, won't hold the oil, the A/C is shot to hell, brakes are sketchy, don't even get me started on the Hydraulic booster unit, the master cylinder is destroyed...basically this is a pile of junk." Jett finishes. I raise an eyebrow at him, ambition stirring. He groans, recognizing the look on my face. "Shit. That all just encouraged you to do this even more, didn't it?" I nod, grinning and he laughs. "All right. Go ahead but this is your project. You need parts, you gotta buy them or make them. Got it?" Jett asks and I nod, already back in the car's engine.

For the next hour, I just work on taking the car apart, the small clear area I was working in quickly becoming organized chaos. I slide under the car and loosen a few bolts. I lose myself in my work, the simple body of a car relaxing me. I lose track of time and all I know is my work. A while later, I hear heavy boots hit the ground but dismiss it, grunting as I throw all of my weight into loosening a stuck bolt. Just as I feel it is about to give, I am rolled out from under the car.

"Son of a bitch!" I shout, wincing at the light shinning in my face. "I was just about to loosen the bolt!" I complain and hear Jett's muffled snicker.

"Am I to take this as you dropping out of my Obstacle/Endurance Course and Weapons Training?" Eric asks sardonically, flicking the light off. I blink rapidly, black spots in my eyes.

"What? No. That isn't until 6. I have a while." I tell him, sitting up on my wheeled board. He raises an eyebrow, silently pointing at the clock. My eyes widen and my mouth drops in little 'o.' "Whoops!" I say sheepishly, seeing it is 5:59. I get up, wiping my hands with my now fully black rag, slamming the hood of my truck down and tossing the rag on it. "Anyone touches my truck or my parts and their balls are mine!" I bark, rushing to the door and into the hallway. I race to the dining hall and grab two trays, racing out and to the sleeping room. I quickly shove Ellie in the shoulder and she jerks awake.

"We're gonna be late!" I shout and shove the tray at her. We race through the tunnels, shoving food and water down our throats until we have finished our food and skidded into the room next to the Torture Chamber. (A.K.A. the P.E. and Hand-to-Hand Combat Training Room.) We drop the trays down by the door and hurry to join the rest of the group. Ellie and I gasp for breath as we slide in by Raza and Ander.

"Now that we are all here, we can get started." Eric leads us over to where an obstacle course is set up. My eyes widen as I see it spans the length of the room. And it is a big room. The first part is about 12 tires set side by side in a zig-zag pattern, leading to a thin plank set over a muddy pool. After that is tall climbing wall that is slanted forward, easy to get up, hard to get down. The thing looks like it is 20 feet tall. Immediately after that is is 15 ropes over a pool of dirty water that I guess we are going to have to swing on to get to the small platform. After the platform is a pile of throwing knives and 5 moving targets. Once you get past that is barbed wire laced over an area that I presume we are going to have to crawl under. After that is a flat field that I don't know what is hidden but I would guess bombs or something. Once you get past that, there is a pool you have to swim across and it curves around the room for about five feet and then once you get out, there is automated dummies I am guess you have to fight. It will be hard because there are 3 of them and I don't think we are going to fight them one at a time. Close to the end, there is a rope bridging about three feet apart from a platform. We are going to have to climb across, using the small rope as a bridge. Then there is a gun stand and 10 moving targets. Once you shoot those, a rope drops down and you have to climb all the way up to ring the bell, thus signifying you have finished.

I can feel the adrenaline rushing through my body already.

"You are going to do this course two at at time. Whoever finishes first gets to sit out doing the course tomorrow. First up is Tabby vs Ellie. I watch as the tall blonde faces off with my short copper-haired, pixie cut best friend/sister.

"You got this, Els!" I call out and Ellie shoots me a look of eager anticipation. I flash thumbs up at her, grinning.

"Ready. Set. Go!" Eric shouts and they take off. Ellie reaches the tires first and easily hops through them, holding her arms out to steady herself as she quickly makes her way across. She jumps down just as Tabby makes it through the tires but they catch up to each other on the wall, Tabby swinging herself over and clinging to the small handles as she makes her way down. Ellie and Tabby are equal again as they swing on the ropes and land at the same time, moving to the knives. Ellie and Tabby are equally horrible at knife throwing and I wince at the repeated missed throws. Then Ellie lands a few and gets to move on. She crawls under the barbed wire, wincing as her hair gets caught a few times but doesn't pause. Tabby starts crawling as Ellie stares apprehensively at the flat ground. She decides to be reckless and just hops across. I relax as she makes it over safely, laughing as Tabby sets one off.

"In case you are wondering, that is green dye. It won't come out for a week!" Eric shouts and Tabby snarls in frustration, hurrying across and diving into the pool. Her long arms and legs let her pass Ellie and reach the end first. She fights the dummies, quickly and efficiently taking them down. They reset as Ellie reaches them and whirls through quickly. Tabby crosses the rope, her legs dangling down as she moves hand over hand to the other side, Ellie close behind. They both are fairly good shots so it doesn't take them forever to shoot. The rope drops down and Ellie squirrels up quickly before Tabby can and rings the bell.

"Ellie wins!" Eric shouts and she beams, flipping her way gleefully down the rope and dancing over to us.

"I did it!" She squeals and we laugh, ruffling her hair and pulling her in with us.

"Listen up. While you are doing my classes, you will be ranked. It will have nothing to do with this stage but rather with pride. If you are in the top five of my lists, you get extra privileges. Those include, leaving the compound with me, extra points to spend, access to these training rooms without me, and a good word put in with the other Leaders for when you complete these last two stages. If you want this, you have to _earn _this. Next up, Raven vs Emily!"

Since I will be one of the last ones to go, I watch carefully. While this course first appears to be a singular accomplishment, if you look closely, it is more of a teamwork course. For example, throwing the knives, swinging on the ropes. It is designed to promote teamwork and also self-sufficiency at the same time. I raise an eyebrow, reluctant admiration rising in me at the dual purposes. I meet Eric's gaze and he smirks before turning away. I stare at him, glad I am sitting down. Wow.

"Last, Paz vs Raza!" Eric finally calls and I roll my eyes, getting up with my ash-blond/orange/purple haired friend. He smirks down at me, deep brown eyes alight with amusement. I grin at him, jostling his shoulder playfully as we move to the beginning.

"Ready!"

Anticipation stirs through me.

"Set!"

Raza and I talked while we were waiting and we are going to be doing this both separately and together. When we get to the teamwork parts, we will work flawlessly together but when we aren't...every person for them self. I pull my large sweater off, tossing it to the side, my muscles tense and prepared.

"Go!" Eric fairly growls and I can feel his gaze sweeping over me. Raza and I take off. He reaches the tires first but I am right behind him, darting around and loping across the slender beam. I quickly climb the wall, determined to win this. I don't look down, not liking the lurch in my stomach at the thought of falling. Right now, Raza and I are neck and neck. I get close to the top and plant my hands, swinging myself over and sliding a little before gaining purchase on a stone sticking out. I slide down the wall, swinging from stone to stone easily. I have about three feet left and chance it, hopping down.

I land gracefully on my feet and whirl around, lunging at the ropes. I swing on one, a gleeful smile on my face as I reach out and grasp another, letting go of the one I started on. I dance through the ropes, landing on the platform and waiting for Raza, picking up the knives. I run a fond finger down a sharp edge, knowing I am the best at throwing. Raza reaches me and I nod at him. We both throw with deadly precision, hitting the five targets with no problems. That done, we wiggle under the barbed wire. I grimace as the mud covers my arms and wrinkle my nose, holding my head above the ground.

I make it through and copy Ellie, dancing around the slightly higher patches and making it to the other side with Raza. We both dive into the pool, moving in unison as we make it over. I climb out of the pool and I think we took most of the water with us; it showered down and I feel a moment of pity for Blade and Andy, the last ones to do the course. The slippery rock will not be easy for them to cross. Unlike the rest of the teams, Raza and I go at the dummies together. I sweep their feet from under them while Raza slams the down with a punch to the face. Finished, I cross the bridge, dangling down with Raza behind me.

I snap my gun up and shoot my five targets at the same time as Raza and drop the gun, sprinting to the rope. I leap, catching it in my fingers and nimbly make my way up.

I triumphantly ring the bell, a wide grin stretching my face as I flip down. I land lightly on my feet and dance over to Raza.

"Sorry babe, better luck next time!" I tease and he rolls his eyes, ruffling my hair playfully; his handsome face splitting into a wide grin.

"Screw you!" He shoots back and I wink.

"That's the plan!" I joke and he stares.

"You are going to give me a heart attack one of these days. You can't tease a man like that!" He jokes and laugh as we make our way over to the group. I pout as I see my name is in slot 2 but it is better than my slot for Stage Two. I am currently at 12, which is still dangerous. We cheer as Andy wins and they join us.

"Today was okay." Eric says. "You made it through the course but in the most basic way possible. We will be teaching you how to be more flexible, using your bodies and surroundings in a way that will ensure you pass through the course in under 2 minutes." Eric promises and somehow, the dark grin on his face doesn't reassure me. He puts us through our paces again, forcing us to stretch in ways that should never be humanly possible. I groan, falling flat on my back, breathing hard. "Get up initiate." Eric orders, striding past me. I roll my eyes and make a face at his back. "You can do 20 extra push ups, just for that." Eric orders, not turning around and I stare after him with gaping mouth and wide eyes. Raza snickers at me and I groan, dropping my head back again.

An hour later, we are all dying from pain.

It was brutal earlier when Eric forced us to do all that exercise, then the Hand-to-Hand but now I feel utterly drained. As a group, we all stumble over to where Eric and Four are watching with amusement.

"Those sick, sadistic, smug bastards!" I groan, leaning heavily on Raza and and Mike as we make our way over to the two trainers. "Look at their faces! I hate them!" I grumble, swaying slightly as we stop in front of said bastards. Eric leans over and says something to Four, whose face twists in reluctant amusement.

As a group, we hear a couple of laughing voices and turn to glare venomously. Ander, Sam and Ty freeze with confusion, eyeing us.

"Hi?" He asks weakly and I push my way to the front, eyeing his happy and care-free expression with outrage.

"Are you kidding me?! WE slave in here for _hours_ and you lazy _fucking_ dick-face, asswipe bastards come strolling in with those stupid smirks and your carefree attitudes?!" At some point during my tirade, my voice went from angry to whining in a self-annoyed way. I gaze plaintively at them and there is a pause before everyone bursts out laughing. I turn, mock-glaring and am struck silent. Eric is laughing too, his eyes warm and amused. The look softens his rugged face and makes his face breathtakingly sweet.

It just draws a matching smile out of me. A genuine, full-blown smile.

"We're sorry, okay?!" Ander jokes and I tear my eyes away from Eric, a pout appearing again.

"But now I want you guys to suffer like we did!" I tell them and the group mumbles in agreement. The three guys eye us with nervousness but join us. I grin devilishly as I get an idea and Ellie giggles as I whisper it in her ear. She whispers it to Misty, who passes it on all the way around. The three guys look scared but we just look at them sweetly.

Game. On.

"All right initiates, listen up. Weapons training is going to get into a couple of different things. Staffs, archery, guns and knives. Right now, you guys only know the basics of guns and knives but it won't be that way for much long if Four and I have a say about it. Which we do. Pick up a gun and follow us." Eric and Four lead us over to a blank wall lined with stalls. We all pick a stall and stand in it.

"These walls are blank right now." Four picks up from where Eric left off. "Random lights are going to appear and your job is to shoot them. At the end of this, whoever has hit the most lights will be ranked first and so on. Begin." I shoot at the pink lights, scowling when I miss a few and grinning every time I land a hit.

"You are doing it wrong." I stiffen when I hear Eric's arrogant drawl and turn to look at him. He has arms crossed over his chest, leaning against the side of the stall.

"How so?" I ask neutrally and he narrows his eyes at me but straightens.

"Show me your stance." He orders and I stand as though I am going to shoot. He eyes me and steps close behind me, pressing lightly against his back. I fight hard to keep my breathing steady and my body loose. He places his hand on my hips, pressing his knee in between my legs and moving my legs and hip angle with his legs and hip. Fire thrums loosely through my body as he leans down. "Now shoot." He rumbles in my ear and I face forward, ignoring the tightening in my stomach. I fire off a few rounds and they hit the dots but I notice they were a little shaky. "Better." Eric says in my ear and I turn, facing him.

"Thanks." I say but it comes out breathy and his eyes darken. I press a little closer, our chests touching. "I appreciate the help." I say, flicking the safety on my gun, taking my finger off the trigger. His muscles tighten as I run a hand up his arm, lacing it behind his neck. I gently sink my nails in and lean in closer. "Thanks for teaching me, Eric." I hum, right in his ear and he grasps me around the waist, claiming my mouth roughly.

His tongue sweeps over mine, drawing a muffled moan from me as his hands move swiftly to my butt, pulling me closer as he forces a knee in between my legs. I arch my back towards him, needing to be closer. He shifts, changing the angle of the kiss and I melt, arousal burning between my legs. Eric drops a hand around my front and cups my sex, squeezing and I jolt, sinking my teeth into his bottom lip.

He growls, forcing us closer. I allow my head to fall back submissively but not without running my nails down his side. Eric runs his hands up my body and I arch my chest towards him, needing his hands, needing _him. _Just as he is almost there, a throat clears behind us. I don't even know how we heard it over the sound of the multiple guns going off but Eric immediately stiffens, pulling back and closing off.

"This isn't what I expected from you two here." Four says quietly and I watch him with shock. He rolls his eyes gruffly, a hint of pink in his cheeks. "I work in the control room. Did you really think we couldn't see you on the cameras? That little...scene you put on in the tunnel a few weeks ago was completely inappropriate and you _both _could get in trouble for fooling around. You are still an initiate and it is against the rules for initiates to have relations with full Dauntless members. Especially a Leader." Four says quietly and Eric, clenches his jaw, nodding sharply.

"I know. Let's go." He leaves without another look back and Four looks apologetically at me. I shrug, smiling at him and wiping the guilty look off his masculine face. He leaves and I turn back to my shooting, the sinking feeling in my chest not entirely from breaking the rules. If I am being honest, it hurts that Eric can turn this attraction thing on and off at will. I want to drive him wild. I want him to lose all control with me. I sigh, swiftly bringing up my gun and sliding into the stance Eric just taught me. I shoot, focused on the flashing lights and hit them all smoothly.

The small grin of accomplishment doesn't last long as I remember this tiny victory was not earned on my own.

**XXX**

"I don't think I have ever worked so much in my entire _life!_" Ander exclaims and we exchange incredulous looks.

"Ass!" We pile on him in the doorway to the dining hall, noogieing, slapping and jostling him. He is laughing so hard under the pile of us and we get off, giving him mock-disappointed looks. His eyes are alight as he climbs to his feet and we all claim our table. We steal off each others plates, too lazy to get up and get more of what we want. Abruptly, I am reminded of little wolf pups.

"Wow. We act like wolves!" I exclaim and the conversation at our table just drops.

"How so?" Ellie asks, stealing a handful of corn off my tray and eating it kernel by kernel.

"That's how we act!" I tell them eagerly. "I remember once seeing a video of wolves in the wild and the way they interacted with each other. It fascinated me because they clearly have a hierarchy but they interacted freely. Until one of the pups crossed an invisible line and then needed to be dealt with, swiftly but mercifully. They were wild, tumbling around each other gleefully and when they saw something that interested one, they all investigated because they were a group- a pack. When one was scared, they all perked up and surrounded him/her until they felt comfortable enough to continue playing around." I ramble and they stare at me with wide eyes.

"And you call _me_ Erudite." Tabby drawls and I flush, causing them to roar with laughter. "-_they clearly have a hierarchy." _She mocks and the group laughs, nudging me playfully. I roll my eyes, a smile twitching on my lips.

"My point _is, _that's us. We are like a wolf pack. We fight and wrestle and yes- even bite but in the end, we always have each others back." I sum up my point and the joking is gone. They know it too.

"It...fits." Ander says in surprise and I roll my eyes, cocking my head arrogantly.

"Well, duh. I thought of it." I tell him sassily and he snorts.

"Yup. You are definitely our Alpha." He jokes but the fierce burst of pleasure at the thought that flares across my face shocks him. I watch him coolly, raising an eyebrow. He nods in respect. I get a wicked idea and smirk around at the table.

"We should get matching tattoos." I tell them seriously. "As a reminder that we always stick together." There is a pause and then we all get up, racing out of the dining hall to get to the tattoo parlor. We burst in loudly and I sweep over to Tori. She looks up from a notebook and nods at me, eyeing my group curiously. "Can I borrow this?" I ask and she nods, handing her paper over. I quickly sketch a black wolf head with its head thrown back in a silent how. It is in swirling tribal style, the ink stays black. She raises an eyebrow and nods.

"Where are you getting this?" She asks and I grin, pointing at the inside of my right wrist. "Are you all getting the same tattoo?" She asks and there is a resounding yes. She laughs, shaking her head and getting a few of her tattoo artists to do my friends. She moves me to a chair and cleans my wrist before starting the tat. The slight pain makes my stomach tighten deliciously and I opt to distract with myself from doing anything too embarrassing. Like moan. So, I laugh with my friends and we toss playful jokes back and forth, roaring with laughter at some of the wittier ones.

When we are done, we all huddle in a circle and hold our arms out.

"They look awesome!" Ellie exclaims and I nod in agreement. We all got them on the same spot on our wrists. Feeling united and tired, we split up from our Dauntless born friends and head to bed.

**XXX**

_"Stop!" I shout, but they show no sign of hearing me. More dirt rains down and I am frozen with horror. My feet won't move and I can't say anything. I look pleadingly at their faces, fear and sorrow winning the battle in my heart as they bury me alive._

_Abruptly, I am in a room, cowering. _

_I slowly raise my head, looking around uncurling. I am home. My room looks the same as always. Inspiration posters of Jenine Mathews line my walls, my bed is neatly made, and my books are lined from tallest to shortest in my bookcases. I relax a little, sitting on my bed and smoothing out the non-existent wrinkles. _

_A loud noise causes me to flinch and I slowly slip off the bed, padding over to my door. Uncertainly, I reach out for the nob, my hand shaking... _

_The door bursts open and I scream, flinching back as my father storms in. _

_"-anything less than an 'A' and you get beaten!" He roars and my disbelieving eyes fix on my first ever B. I stare in shock. I have never in my entire life gotten anything other than an A. Especially on a written paper. The teachers always praised my eloquent writing and persuasive thinking. "Are you listening to me?!" My father roars, shredding the paper and advancing on me. "You will listen!" He hisses, drawing back his foot and slamming it into my ribs. _

_A loud cracking noise rings out and I scream with pain, my vision going grey. He draws back his foot and kicks me again and again. I sobbed quietly as I lay helpless, and weak._

My breath coming faster, I race out of the chair and from that room.

I don't see anyone or anything around me. All I know is terror. It isn't until I find myself standing still in the Torture Chamber that I realize my feet carried me here automatically. After a week and a half of the grueling work we have done here, my muscles have memorized the route.

I hurry to a treadmill and start it up, putting it on the highest speed it has. I run recklessly, my muscles burning and sweat running down my face. Eric and the others come in but I tune them out, memories a slide show in my head.

_-You will listen!-_

I flinch, running faster. I can't outrun my memories but that doesn't mean I can't try.

_-He draws back his foot and kicks me again and again.-_

I slam my finger down on the speed button but the machine cannot go any faster. I reluctantly settle into the same jog as the others. Rage thrums through me and burns viciously in my eyes. Even Ellie knows better than to try to speak with me right now. I complete the running, heading eagerly over to the punching bags.

With every hit I land, I can see flashes of myself as the victim.

_-Curled on the floor as he slams his fist in my side.-_

I punch furiously, sweat pouring down my body. The bag sways violently on the rusty metal chain.

_-Sobbing and pleading as he drags me by my hair, tossing me in the basement and locking the door.-_

The punches hit faster and I barely register the warmth of blood running down my split knuckles. Or the horrified looks on my friends faces as they see how broken and dangerous I am truly am.

_-Slapping weakly and getting another foot to my face.-_

I kick at the bag powerfully, it wobbling before I steady it and start punching again. A wicked snarl is a permanent fixture on my face as I destroy the bag. I cannot _stop_.

_-Always the victim, never the fighter. I cry myself into unconsciousness.-_

"-az! You need to stop!" I hear Eric yelling but the anger is taking over and I _can't stop._ I hit the bag over and over, a hand landing my shoulder. Whirling, I launch myself at him. Surprised, Eric goes down- hard. I land a hit to his jaw before he rolls over and restrains me. I strain against him, shouting incoherently, the need to _hit something _burning me up. I wiggle free, elbowing him in the face.

He snarls and lunges at me but I have been taught too well. I dodge smoothly, sweeping a strong kick to his ribs. He grunts and lashes out. My head snaps to the side but I spit the blood out, the pain only egging me on. I launch myself at him, a whirlwind as I punch and kick, not holding back.

Eric is equally vicious, never pulling his punches. A bruise blooms on my ribs but I am oblivious, pinning him down with a vicious knee and slamming my fist in to his face over and over. I can barely register the shouts and screams of my fellow initiates as I focus on pouring out my vicious feelings. The feel of Eric's skin giving way under my bruised and bloody knuckles sickens a part of me but right now, it just feeds the blood-lust and I love it. My anger, hurt and terror are a dark, swirling mass inside of me and I _cannot hold back._

Eric flips us, his breath leaving him as I bring a strong knee into his groin. I wiggle out and punch him, again and again. He grasps my wrist and twists and I cry out with pain, glaring viciously and swinging a hit in an uppercut. His head snaps to the side and he works his jaw, spitting out a bloody wad before slapping me. Pain explodes in my face as my head swings to the side and a whimper slips out but the sound only fuels my fire. My dark blue gaze darkens even more as I snap my head to him and lunge forward, head butting him.

Pain blooms in my head but I don't care.

He falls back, teeth bared and cursing viciously and I rush at him but arms catch me around my waist. I hang over them, straining to get to Eric, cussing and hissing angrily at him; my dark blue eyes ablaze with ferocious anger. A hand weaves its way through my hair and yanks my head back, baring my neck. I bare my teeth, my chest heaving with anger.

"Pazia!" I become aware of Jett shouting in my ear, his arm an iron bar around my waist. "Paz! Relax!" He sounds horrified but resigned, having seen me like this a few times before. The times when I let my rage and blood-lust take over and I become a mindless machine, overwhelmed and lashing out at everyone and everything. As Jett continues to speak to me, I slowly stop straining against him and towards Eric, who is getting up and spitting blood out of his mouth.

He strides towards me but Four intercepts him, talking rapidly. I was in the Sim room with Four today. So he knows what pushed me over the edge. Eric snarls something, pointing angrily at me and Four responds. I slowly stop cussing, falling silent; my body a taut wire, pulled tight against Jett who whispers in my ears.

Slowly, my lips relax from a snarl but my eyes stay dark.

Deeming it safe, Jett carefully sets me on my feet and releases me. Immediately, I move like a bullet for the door.

* * *

MyhusbandsaPRICK - I'm glad Paz is back too. And it's not that she found Eric lacking with her eye-fuck, it's just that she wanted to tease and taunt him. You know? Like a you can see but not touch sort of thing. She wanted to throw him for a loop. Thanks so much for your review!

ShadowHunter19 - Thanks for reviewing! (And I hope you think this one is as good as the last update)

AmaranteX chapter - No problem! I like to mention my follows/favs/reviewers because they are so awesome! Yeah, I don't think they are going to 'get over themselves' because they are both so full of themselves! There will be a leader/initiate problem but that isn't their main thing, it is mostly them struggling to admit they want each other. Eric is not the type to give in when it feels like giving up to him and Paz...well, they are too alike for their own good sometimes. Thanks for reviewing!

Mimosa Evans chapter - Hey, that's okay and I am really glad you love my story! Thanks so much for reviewing!

_And last but never least, a big thank you to those of you that fav/followed my story!_

nathy13, NadiixD, kmcracerx, countess88, and Mera Evans

Who loves Paz/Eric? Tell me what you think the best thing about them is! Review!


	9. Chapter 9 - Fears, Fights and Teasing

A/N: Disclaimer: I don't own the Divergent world. I only own Pazia. (Pronounced: Pah-ze-ah.) All outfits are on my profile. This story is set after Four and Eric became Dauntless but the year before Tris became Dauntless.

**_Rating:_** _M_

**_Word_**_** Count:** 8, 701_

**Chapter Nine**

* * *

_**Previously on Battle Scars:**_

_Eric snarls something, pointing angrily at me and Four responds. I slowly stop cussing, falling silent; my body a taut wire, pulled tight against Jett who whispers in my ears._

_Slowly, my lips relax from a snarl but my eyes stay dark._

_Deeming it safe, Jett carefully sets me on my feet and releases me. Immediately, I move like a bullet for the door._

* * *

I stalk into Doc's office and he turns from tending a small cut on someones hand.

"Get out!" I snarl angrily and the girl flinches, rushing past me and out the door. I'm not surprised. I saw my reflection. My face is covered in blood, a four inch cut high on my right cheekbone still oozing blood, split lip, bloodstained teeth. My knuckles are covered with blood and blood is splattered on my neck and shirt. I look vicious and deadly.

"I see the rumor was true. You and Eric tussled." Doc says mildly, raising an eyebrow. I smile brightly, at odds with the dark look in my eyes.

"You should see his face." I smirk and settle on the padded table and Doc pulls out his supplies.

"This is going to sting." He warns and I give him a blank stare. "Oh, _I'm_ sorry. I forgot you were a machine." He mutters snarkily and a flash of amusement appears in me before it is gone. I sit stiffly as his long fingers carefully clean the blood off my face, the liquid burning against my cuts. I hold back a hiss of pain as he runs the cloth over the cut on my cheekbone and his fingers lighten noticeably.

He quietly cleans my knuckles and he starts to wrap them but I pull my hands back and shake my head. He stares at me for a second but I meet his gaze evenly.

"Scars, cuts and bruises tell a story. And I'm fucking_ tired_ of covering them up." I tell him and he nods in respect. He smooths a bruise salve over my eye, chin and nose. I wince a little as he puts butterfly tape over a cut in my left eyebrow and he chuckles.

"It's going to leave a scar through your eyebrow." He say knowingly and I grin, my teeth still bloody and the cut on my lip stinging.

"Good." I answer harshly and he shakes his head, a grin on his face as he moves to the long cut on my cheekbone. He prods it and pulls away when I tense in pain.

"It's going to need stitches." He warns and I stare ahead, not flinching at the sight of the gleaming silver needle. I nod briskly at him, my hands slowly tightening on the padded table as the needle pierces my sliced skin and sews it back together. The tugging sensation of the thread going through almost makes me loose my breakfast on the floor but I manage to hold it in until he finishes and ties it off into a knot. "Finished." He says and steps back, giving me space. I nod gratefully and hop down, going over to the sink and sticking my mouth under the running water. I rinse and spit a couple of times, until the water I spit out comes a clean clear.

"Thanks Doc. I appreciate it." I tell the blue haired man and he nods, waving as I leave. I hesitate as I enter the tunnel, wondering which way to go. In seconds, my rumbling stomach answers that dilemma for me. I stride towards the dining hall, moving briskly. When I reach it, I don't pause to let my nerves make an appearance. I just stride in. Almost immediately, a hush falls over the Dauntless gathered when they see me. I pause, clenching my jaw, my cheek flaring with pain as the stitches tug. Their eyes travel over my lithe form. The butterfly tape on my left eyebrow, the stitches in my cheekbone, the cut on my lip. The swelling around my eye, chin and nose. Their eyes appraise my split knuckles and I meet their bold stares head-on.

Respect glimmers in more than a few pairs of eyes and I start walking again as the noise level rises. I grab a tray, turning sharply and striding over to where the rest of the group is sitting. Ellie sees me coming and shoves Ander over, motioning for me to take a seat. I nod thankfully and sit down.

For a few moments, everyone stays silent and then small conversations start up again. Shifting in his seat, Mike glances at me from the corner of his brown eyes.

"What?" I ask, my voice subdued and he relaxes a little.

"I noticed you are taking all of Eric's classes." Mike says hesitantly and I stopped playing with my food to give him a dark look.

"And?" I question dangerously and he swallows, knowing he is treading on thin ice. But the Dauntless in him won't let him back down now.

"Now is not the time to be joking about that, Mike!" Ellie hisses angrily with a concerned glance in my direction. With the foul mood I'm it, it only serves to make the rage spiral forward again.

"What?!" He asks, his eyes wide with confusion, throwing his arms out indignantly. "My mom always said if a girl beat up a guy, that meant she liked him!" He exclaims and Ander rolls his eyes.

"Maybe when we were kids but I don't see how Paz and Eric beating the ever-loving-shit out of each other could be seen as sexual tension. That was tension, tension." Ander says flatly, his green eyes wary as he watches me. I clench my fist around my fork and Mike's eyes fall on my tight grip. He snaps his mouth shut, holding in whatever stupid comment he was about to make. Satisfaction flares darkly in me for a second before I smother it along with my rage. I slowly relax my shoulders and grip on the fork. Seeing me mellow out a little Mike perks up.

"All I was trying to say before was: No cooking?" He asks, trying to lighten the situation and I shake my head, my morose gaze falling to the mush of my food. My shoulders slump and the rage dissipates completely.

"I don't cook." I respond blankly and he grins. He ruffles his dirty-blonde hair and his brown eyes sparkle happily.

"Really? I remember in Erudite your Dad would always rave about your food. Your dad was so-" In a flash, my restraint snaps and I have him by his collar, dragging him over to my side of the table and twisting the cloth mercilessly around his throat. I block out Tabby's knowing gaze, it only fueling my murderous rage higher.

"You. Don't. _Ever. _Mention. _My. **Father**._To me. Ever. Again." I growl murderously, and he nods, his arms flailing as he tries to breath. "Good." I shove him back roughly and sit back down, picking up my fork in a white-knuckled grip. My group watches with wide eyes as Mike coughs violently, rubbing his throat. They eye me warily, like a wolf about to snap. A dead grin crosses my face before it is gone. Maybe they are right to be scared of me._ I_ certainly am.

"You okay Paz?" Ellie asks softly and I drop my fork, getting up.

"Do I _look_ okay to you?" I hiss and round the table stalking away, leaving them staring after me.

**XXX**

I start to head to the Torture Chamber but a glance at my knuckles reminds me why that's not a good idea.

I change my direction and get my paper and pencil case from my bunk. I head to the tattoo parlor and when I walk in Tori whistles between her teeth.

"Damn girl! Looks like it hurt!" She raises her eyebrows and I shrug a shoulder sheepishly.

"I let my temper get the better of me." I mumble, calmed down enough to feel sheepish and she nods, her dark eyes still wide.

"I can see that." She remarks, gesturing for me to go ahead into the Drawing Room. I nod my thanks at her and hurry in. I stop in the doorway. Someone is already in there. The guy lounges back against the dark red velvet couch, a feline grace in his posture. His dark hair is long enough on the top to fall into his eyes and is is shaved close on the sides and the back. Swirling lines are cut into his shorter hair. From what I can see of his face, he has a rugged look, with dark stubble on his chin. His lips are pursed as he stares down at his paper. He has a piercing in his nose, lip and lining his right ear.

His muscled figure flips through his pages absently while he twirls a pencil in his other hand.

"Are you going to just stand there or come in?" He asks, looking up and my breath catches. His eyes are a piercing dark green, framed by thick black lashes. His voice is like honey, smooth but also rough, like sandpaper. The delicious combination makes a small shiver run down my spine as I slowly enter the room.

I sink down in the red velvet couch closest to the door and flip open my book. I stare blankly down at the white page, uncertain in what I want to do. Inspiration striking, I pull out a pen and turn the pad of paper sideways. In flowing script, I write out my Fear of Pain/Father tattoo.

_The pain you feel today, _

_is the strength you feel tomorrow; _

_Never be a victim, _

_forever be a fighter._

I nod, looking down at my design. This one will go on my right hipbone, right over my belly.

It's perfect.

Flipping to a new page, I start drawing. I decide to do another wordy one for my fear of falling with no one there to catch me.

**Sometimes you wake up.**

**Sometimes the fall kills you.**

**And sometimes, when you fall,**

**you fly.**

This one is going to be done in bold black block letters down the inside of my left forearm. I grin, the inspiration flowing now. I flip to another page, my pencil scratching over the paper and inspiring me to new heights.

For my fear of being Factionless, I make a special one to go right over my heart. It is a shimmering golden-orange sun rays curling around each other and reaching out, the longest rays straight up, down and out the two sides. Set firmly in the middle is the orange-red Dauntless flames on a black circle. The sight of it fills me with pride.

For my fear of failure, I will get a simple one. It will just say: _never give up. _It will go on my right hand along the inside of my ring finger.

My fear of snakes tattoo will be a slender black snake encircling my right wrist above the howling wolf head. The snake will bite its own tail, signifying life goes on. My fear of birds is going to be a long black feather with light blue highlights along the outside of my right ankle.

And last, my fear of dying tattoo will go under my sunburst dauntless tattoo. It is two simple words: _choose life._

Finished, I sit back and look through my chosen tattoos.

"Wow, those are pretty good." Startled, I slam my book shut and stare at him. The handsome stranger has moved so he is lounging back beside me, his arm stretched out behind my head. I absently notice the thick, tribal tattoos that line his muscular arm but I am mostly just staring at him with wide eyes. He chuckles lowly, the masculine sound making me flush. He brushes my chin playfully with his hand, getting up and moving back to the other couch. I stare at him for a moment before getting up and leaving to find Tori.

She is finishing up with Ander. I notice the copper sparrow on his shoulder (for Ellie) and he flushes but meets my gaze. I nod at him and turn to Tori.

"Hey. I finished." I tell her, my excitement bleeding into my voice. She grins, finishing his tattoo and shutting the gun off.

"Awesome! Let me see." I wave to Ander as I hand Tori the book and follow her back into the Drawing Room. The guy glances up, giving me a slow smirk. His face lights up in the most enticing way when he does that. He winks a dark green eye at me before returning his attention to his own paper.

"Well?" I ask anxiously and she looks up at me.

"This shit is awesome! You are pretty good!" She exclaims, her mouth falling open when she sees my sunburst dauntless tattoo. "Whoa." She breaths and I laugh, rubbing the back of my neck.

"Yeah. I gotta say, that one has to be my favorite." I tell her and she nods, her wide gaze still locked on my book.

"Why the _hell _aren't you in my Tattoo Assistant class?" She demands, turning on me. I stare at her blankly before shrugging.

"I had already signed up for Eric's classes and Jett's class. I figured I would be too busy to do all of them. Especially considering how much of a hard ass Eric is." I explain. The guy snorts and a smile tugs at my lips but I don't look at him.

"Hey Roman, come look at these!" Tori calls and the guy- Roman moves over to us with effortless Dauntless grace. He stops behind me and leans over my shoulder.

"I saw a few." He tells her, his chest rumbling against my back. "They are good. She's pretty talented. Aren't you sweetheart?" He asks, looking down at me and I bite my lip.

"That's what I've been saying!" I chirp and his dark green eyes glint with amusement. Heavy strides echo in the other room but I don't notice, too busy looking up at Roman.

"Tori! I need some work redone on my tat-" Eric growls out before stopping. His eyes land on us and I eye him coolly. His eyes flick between me and Roman, or rather, the lack of space between me and Roman. His eyes darken angrily but I tell myself I don't care, stubbornly staying where I am.

"Hey Eric. I'll be in there in a few seconds. Roman, you mind going over the colors and stuff Paz wants?" She asks him and he grins down at me.

"Not at all." He says lowly and I bite my lip again. Tori leaves with Eric shooting a dark glare over his shoulder, purposefully leaving the door open.

"Are you guys dating or something?" Roman asks, noticing that Eric chooses a chair that will let him see into the room. I snort, moving to sit on the couch.

"God no! You see my face? This is what happened a couple of hours ago. Him and I duked it out in the ring." I explain, settling down and flipping open my book. Roman snickers, lounging beside me and stretching an arm out behind my head.

"I can see you got a few good hits in." He says, playfully tugging on a lock of my dark hair. I laugh, shaking my head.

"You could say that." I say with amusement. Eric has a dark bruise on his jaw, I think I broke his nose, I spotted scratches down one of his arms, and he has a developing black eye.

"You must be a little hellcat." Roman teases and I let my head fall back as I look him right in the eye.

"You can say that again." I tease and he does. I snort my laughter, shaking my head and flipping my book open. "You realize I already have my colors and stuff picked out, right?" I ask and Roman grins, twirling a lock of my hair around his long finger.

"_I _do but Tori didn't." He says playfully and I grin. "Let's get out here." Roman says impulsively and I hesitate, extremely aware of Eric watching us. I set my jaw. I don't care what Eric thinks. The red-head he kissed and possibly-most-assuredly-did-more-with flashes in my head and I toss my curly ponytail.

"I'm game." I say impulsively, my dark blue eyes lighting up.

"Shit yeah!" He exclaims, grabbing my hand and tugging me out of the room.

"Wait!" I dig my heels in and turn to Tori. "Catch!" I shout and toss her the book. "And if anyone touches that, I am jamming your needle gun in their eye." I threaten, looking pointedly at Eric while Tori laughs, nodding. I turn and Roman tugs me closer, slinging an arm over my shoulder, whistling at me.

"Damn hellcat! I can see your fire and I like it." He teases and I elbow his side.

"Weren't we going somewhere?" I ask and he grins.

"Yeah, let's go." He grabs my hand again and we race through the tunnels, daring each other to be more reckless. We barrel into the Pit, catching attention gradually as we make our way over to Four. "Four! What's up?" He clasps hands and tugs Four into a rough hug. Four stiffens but grins anyways.

"Roman! Nice to see you." He greets him and I sense a friendship.

"Yeah man. Listen, I wanna take Paz out of the compound. We cool?" He asks and Four hesitates but nods slowly.

"Sure but be careful. Don't be stupid." He warns and Roman scoffs.

"I'm Dauntless dude, not Abnegation. Of course I'm going to be stupid!" Four shakes his head with a smile and I wave to him as we leave. I faintly remember these tunnels as the ones I walked through when I first came here. It seems so long ago. Roman and I lope through the tunnels and as we get closer to the way out, I can hear a train. We exchange excited glances and speed up, bursting out of the compound and racing each other and the train.

My muscles stretch and release sweetly, my body a well oiled machine. I grab the handle and effortlessly swing myself inside, moving out of the way as Roman gracefully rolls in and pops to his feet. I move by the door and sit down beside him, the wind coming through my curls and tearing them free. I laugh, full and loud; my whole heart and soul in it. Unable to help himself, Roman joins me and we laugh for no particular reason and every reason in the world.

"You're pretty wild, you know that?" Roman asks and I grin, looking up at him with sparkling blue eyes.

"Yeah. I do." I tell him arrogantly and he laughs, pulling me closer and kissing me. For a moment, I freeze before the feeling of his lips against mine make my hormones roar to life. We are a flurry of teeth and tongue, kissing fiercely, nipping and biting. I shove his jacket off his broad shoulders, pulling back and pulling my shirt over my head.

Roman pressed down on my bruise and I hiss, the pain spiraling through me. He pulls back, an apology on his lips but I grab him around the neck and straddle him, kissing him again. Fire races through me and erases doubt. We both know this isn't an emotional thing. This is purely physical and we revel in it. I unbutton my pants, hurried kisses lighting me up as I nip Roman's neck.

He groans, tearing my bra. A gush of wetness between my legs shows my appreciation for the act and we kiss again. I shove him back roughly, running my nails down his abs, loving the way they bunch under my fingernails. He hisses and pulls away, quickly kicking his pants off and helping me with mine. I slide my underwear off my body and he quickly slides two fingers in.

My body tightens around his fingers and we both groan at the swell of pleasure.

"Should I top or do you-" He starts to ask and I shove him down, grasping him and sinking down. We both moan at the feeling and I shift, lifting up and dropping back down.

We drive each other higher, the fullness and tightness making it even better as pleasure races through us and burns us up.

**XXX**

Roman and I jump off the train heading away from Dauntless and race each other to the City Center.

There is an easy way about us now as we push and jostle each other. We head to the main building. It is almost time for the Dauntless born students too young to Choose to be let out of school. Roman and I wrestle each other, ignoring the scandalized expressions on the Erudite, blushing Abnegation, cheerful Amity and a mix of reactions from Candor. I push him back on the ledge and straddle him, pulling into an open-mouthed kiss. He grips my hips and pulls me closer, our tongues battling for dominance.

I pull away, grinning as the Dauntless born kids come streaming out of the school. We whoop, alerting them to our presence and they flood around us happily. We start running the kids (younger and older) racing happily with us. In this moment, I feel truly Dauntless with my tattoo, colored curls, tight black clothes and wild freedom. I let out a wild yell, climbing the train tracks. My yell is echoed as we swing up the tall structure. We land on the platform and start running gleefully, a loud train horn sounding behind us. I whoop, running faster.

Roman keeps pace with me, my radiant expression echoed in his eyes.

We swing into the train, tumbling into one large pile. We wrestle and joke around, laughing and feeling wild. Spotting the building ahead, I turn back.

"Get ready to jump!" I call and get a resounding cheer in return. Roman grabs me around the waist and pulls me into a rough kiss that I return with equal fervor. I pull back, grinning and winking and then I jump. This time, I am infinitely more graceful as I roll and pop up. I notice with relief that all of the kids made the jump with nothing more than a few scraped palms. "Now, we jump from here." I tell them and run, holding my arms out and using them to flip myself over the edge and down the long drop below. I roll of the net, laughing crazily, helping others off as they come plummeting down.

Once we have everyone, we race loudly to the Pit and burst through the doors.

Once through, the kids split off from us with waves and shouts that we return. I gleefully weave my way through the tables, getting a tray and sliding in beside Jett.

"Hey!" I chirp and the brunette beside him rolls her eyes as he perks up.

"Hey Paz. You look good!" He says and I grin as Roman slides in beside, draping a casual arm around my waist and tugging me closer to him. Jett's eyes darken and Roman smirks. I slap him lightly on the chest, turning to Jett's dinner company.

"Hey. I'm Paz." I say cheerfully and she nods curtly.

"Lyrica." She says curtly and I grin.

"I love that name!" I tell her happily and she eyes me but reluctantly thaws enough to give me a small smile. I beam back and a warmer look enters her eyes. I turn to Roman and swipe my finger through his chocolate icing. He starts to protest but I pop my finger in my mouth and slowly suck it off. He blindly reaches out and grabs the cake, shoving it at me. I laugh, throwing my head back and break off a small piece.

I pop it in my mouth and in one smooth motion, slide onto his lap and pull him into a deep kiss. His hands flex on my thighs as I lean into him and he into me. I wrap my legs around his waist as his hands slide to my butt. Jett clears his throat pointedly and I open one eye to roll it at him before closing it again and kissing Roman more enthusiastically.

A few members cheer loudly and clap for us, living life happily. When I finally pull back, a dazed look is in Roman's eyes and I smirk proudly. I settle deeper into his lap, twining my arms around his neck and nipping his jaw.

"You okay there, Ro?" I ask, amused and he blinks.

"Yeah." He says, scanning his eyes down my frame with a lusting gleam in his dark green eyes. I wiggle pointedly into his lap and he groans. "Such a fucking tease." He says and I laugh again.

"Sorry not sorry, baby." I tease playfully, gently tugging on his soft dark hair.

"Roman." Eric's cold voice ripples through the air and I look over at him. The dangerously blank look in his eyes tells me he saw the little...display Roman and I just put on for Dauntless. "You know that initiates are not supposed to be screwing around with full Dauntless members." He says icily, his jaw muscle flexing angrily.

"Yes sir." Roman says cheekily, sliding me off his lap. I pout playfully at him but allow myself to be moved. He grins at me, dark green eyes glinting playfully and I raise an eyebrow.

"The same goes for you initiate." Eric growls and I nod up at him, my gaze distracted and hungry as it focuses on Roman; the only one who is giving me what I need. Eric's shoulders ripple with muscle and irritation lights up his blue eyes.

"Understood." I hide the gleam in my eyes that says I don't care about the rules. Roman chuckles, understanding my expression perfectly and agreeing. Eric turns and strides over to the next table, eating with Four, Max and Amar.

"I think he is jealous." Roman says, just loudly enough and giving me a smirk. I roll my eyes, picking at my food, noticing Eric's shoulders tense.

"Don't be ridiculous-" I coo. "-don't you know he just cares _so much _about his initiates." I tease playfully and Jett flicks my ear in caution. I roll my eyes at him and turn to Roman. "You don't look so good. I think you got too much fresh air today. You might need to go see Doc." I tell him, conveying my message in his eyes and he grins, getting up.

"You may be right." I cock my head appreciatively as I watch him walk away. I wait a few moments and finish my cake before rising and shoving my tray at Jett.

"Can you take care of that for me?" I ask and he nods, giving me a cautioning look. I hitch a shoulder at him and saunter to the door. I glance back once and spot Four, Max and Amar watching me critically but Eric...I watch as a tin cup crumples in his large fist just as I slip away.

I do lust after Eric and to a degree like him when he isn't being an ass but he won't give me what I need. While Roman is here, he is willing so I may as well take advantage. And if Eric doesn't like that, then he should do something about it. I know he won't though. Eric holds too tightly to his control and to come after me would be giving in in some way and Eric has not thawed enough to do that just yet. But one day he will.

One day, I'll give him no choice.

For now though, I am content to slip after Roman and sneak in a few quick rounds of forbidden sex. But inevitably, steel blue eyes are in my mind as I arch under Roman's muscled body. Brawny shoulders are in my mind as I rake my fingers down his back. Block tattoos line his body and I lose myself to a blaze of passion, never uttering his name but seeing him anyway.

Seeing Eric.

**XXX**

"-and it has come to our attention that your fight with Eric was prompted by what you saw in your fears. This will not be tolerated ever again. Should something like this happen, you will become Factionless. Effective immediately."

I nod briskly and turn, striding out of the room.

Despite my supposedly calm exterior, anger stirs at the superior look on Eric's face.

**XXX**

"Ahhhh!"

"Son of a bitch!"

"Mother fucker!"

All of us transfers burst out laughing hysterically as Ander, Sam and Ty burst out in curses and shouts. We all felt it was necessary to get back at the three males because they did not take all of Eric's classes and still felt the need to whine about how hard it was for them after they got back from relaxing for a couple of hours. This is just the beginning of a one-sided prank war.

"Fuck you guys!" Ander curses, tossing the small rubber snake at us. We duck, laughing as Sam and Ty throw a small rat and rubber spider at us, scrambling for the door.

"Run!" I shriek laughingly as we take off, the three guys close behind us. We stop every so often to hide around a corner and jump out, shouting boo and without fail, they always flinch back cussing loudly. We burst through the door in the Pit and I gesture for the group to move to our table, Ellie and I exchanging wicked grins as we lay in wait on either side of the entrance. We ready our items and when the guys race through, whip out our air horns and blast them loudly at them.

They flinch, flailing wildly and cussing up a storm. They fall to the ground in a tangle of limbs as Ellie and I laugh uncontrollably by the door. Tears are streaming from our eyes as Misty snaps a few pictures. We stumble past the guys, slapping hands with the rest of the group, who is also laughing hysterically.

"Success!" I cheer and am echoed as we take our seats.

"-and his face!" We just burst out laughing again, the three guys sitting with pouts and dark glares. We laugh some more, ruffling their hair and slapping their back good-naturally. They thaw a little, enough to start threatening us. A few of the more creative ones have us in stitches again, curling into each other and laughing breathlessly.

"All right, all right!" I rise, holding out my arms and the group quiets with an occasional giggle and snort but watching me avidly. I grin at them and wink at our three boys. "As an apology, we have gotten you guys a special present. I hope you appreciate how difficult this was for us." I turn and take the three caramel apples from Cookie, winking subtly. The large woman nods at me, amusement glimmering in her eyes. I turn back to my group, handing one to Ander, one to Sam and the last to Ty. "Enjoy." I tell them and they eagerly bite into the 'apples.'

It takes a few moments but then their faces screw up and they shout angrily as they realize they are eating caramel onions. We bust up laughing again, leaning on each other to keep from slipping off the bench. Our laughter rings out, full of amusement and camaraderie as we tease our three sullen members.

When the time comes, we race to the fear hall, teasing each other to keep our minds off the fears we will soon be facing.

**XXX**

_A loud cracking noise rings out and I scream with pain, my vision going grey. He draws back his foot and kicks me again and again. I sobbed quietly as I lay helpless, and weak._

_My vision fades out and I am wake up in a classroom._

_"What is the excuse for this?" My teacher questions, holding up a paper with a red B in bold on the front. My eyes widen and fear races through me. "You failed!" She shouts as fear runs through me._

_'Failed.'_

_'Failure.'_

_Her voice echoes and all of a sudden, I am on top of a building, my friends surrounding me._

_"Guys?" I question and they back away from me._

_"We don't associate with failures." Tabby sneers and I flinch. I scan the group, fear writhing sickeningly in my gut._

_"Ellie?" I ask and my voice is soft, child-like. But her blue eyes look at me with cold contempt._

_"Failure." She hisses and they pick up the chant as she steps towards me._

_"Failure, failure, failure, failure." They chant as she stops in front of me.  
_

_"No one will be there to catch you." She whispers and I frown, confused. Then a scream rips its way out of my throat as her hands shoot out and for one moment, I am suspended in the air. Then gravity takes over and I plummet to the ground. The wind rips cruelly at my hair, slapping me in the face and tossing me around. _

_My heart races faster and faster as I pass each floor, a friend watching me cruelly from each level. Then I hit the pavement with a sickening thud, every bone in my body breaking and causing unimaginable pain._

_I wake up in a room with my mother, Ellie, Jett and Eric tied to chairs. I try to rush to them, but my feet are stuck to the ground. I struggle frantically and they watch with sad eyes behind their gags. I struggle, punching the air, the complete lack of control I have over the situation washing over me. I scream to them, begging for someone, anyone to come. I break down, sobbing and the moment I do, a gun appears on the floor in front of me._

_"Two bullets." A voice whispers and I whirl around, but no one is there. I face forward and Ellie is out of the chair, right in front of me. "Shoot them. You can only save one and I am already lost." She says and smiles with bloody teeth, a wound on her chest and blood rapidly spreading around the edges. I scream with fear, cradling her body. "Shoot or loose them all." She whispers and I grab the gun, my hands shaking. I face the three. _

_I slowly raise the gun, my hands shaking and my vision blurry. _

_I blink the tears back, never knowing what to do. In the end, I take a deep breath, ready to pull the trigger as I calm myself and shoot-_

I wake up in the chair, unable to look at Four.

I never know what I am about to do in that fear. I always calm myself before shooting so just before I shoot, I wake up. I slowly slip out of the chair and nod to Four. He nods back, marking my time down.

"15 minutes faster." Four quietly tells me and I nod, my throat constricted. Oddly enough, when Eric does- did my sims, I always felt fear and anger afterwards but with Four, I just feel this overwhelming sense of sadness. I guess it is something about Four that seems so understanding that I feel like I can just feel what I feel. With Eric, I feel the need to impress him and that just ends up pissing me off.

I sigh, swinging my legs off the chair and getting up.

"Thanks Four." I say softly before leaving the room and jogging to the Torture Chamber. I reach the room just as Eric starts the treadmills and I jog silently on mine, lost in thought. A stark contrast to a couple of days ago. This is the first time I have been back here since Eric and I fought so viciously and I can feel his hard gaze on my form but I don't look at him.

He has been sending me dirty looks and making vicious comment towards me whenever he gets the chance and I am sick of it. Ellie gives me a pointed look and I shrug at her. I am not apologizing. I don't apologize. Ask Jett. He is the only one I ever say those two words to and he treasures them because they happen so rarely.

Besides, Ellie thinks Eric is just lashing out because he is jealous of Roman.

It hasn't been so bad though since yesterday...which makes a small part of me think Ellie must be right. Because Roman was deployed back to guarding the Wall yesterday. I furrow my brow, my legs speeding up with the others as I worry my bottom lip with my teeth.

Even if Eric is jealous of Roman (which I doubt) then he wasn't enough to step in. Roman and I have been sneaking around the past couple of days, reliving tension and breaking the rules. Eric has tried to catch us a few times, but we always do it away from cameras and aside from some sultry glances, don't act as touchy-feely as the day we first had sex together.

I sigh but speed up with the treadmill, my long ponytail swinging behind me.

The bruising on my face is almost gone and I have to get my stitches removed today. The cut on my lip is still a little tender but is also almost healed and the Doc was right. The little cut on my left eyebrow did leave a small scar going through my eyebrow. My ribs are still a little tender but for the most part, are healed. Honestly, I am lucky I am even alive.

I have heard of stories where Eric has fought someone and they have landed in the Med unit, unconscious and broken. The fact that I can even walk around speaks a lot. Both for my skills in fighting and the fact that Eric was even taken off guard. I run faster, a small smile on my face as my muscles stretch and release, a small burn working in my legs.

We finish our running and move to the punching bags.

Eric pauses behind me but doesn't make a move to help me and I shove the disappointment deep down. When we finish for the day, we gather around him as Amar joins him.

"Today, we will practice fighting with multiple opponents." Eric's voice rings out, authority resonating in his deep voice and it prompts a quick reaction from my body. I inwardly curse myself as I quickly disguise my bodies reaction. I had been fine these past couple of days because whenever the urge struck, I could always go and find Roman. He would always tell me I was insatiable and I really was. I just had a _lot _of tension to get out.

Roman knew that I was thinking of someone else but he didn't let it bother him too much.

While we are physically attracted to each other, we both agreed we would be better off as friends with the occasional benefit. Neither us us would be good together emotionally, we are too alike in several ways and the relationship would end up just destroying us. I sigh, listing to Eric and Amar as they demonstrate.

"-you have to be even more wary when you are up against multiple opponents because they aren't going to wait patiently and take turns for the other to be finished. They are going to rush at you at the same time, hoping to overwhelm you. Who wants to volunteer to fight against Amar, Four and myself first?" I look around and no one is eager. All three of the formidable males are rippling with muscles and there is an anticipatory air about them, glinting eyes and twisted smirks. In the end, I decide to do it. For my group, I will set the example.

Dauntless don't back down from a challenge.

Ever.

I roll my shoulders, shaking my arms as I step forward. Eric's gaze meets mine and an emotion flashes across his blue eyes before it is gone and he nods at me, turning and walking to the ring. Four and Amar follow, getting into position. I take a deep breath and roll into the ring, not stopping. Because just as I anticipated, they don't wait for me to be ready and instead attack the moment I am in the ring.

I sweep Four's feet out from under him, knocking him into the ground as I duck Eric's fist and slam my foot into Amar's side. His breath whooshes out of him as Four gets to his feet. I circle with them before darting forward, leaping into a roll as I get behind Amar and lash both feet out into his back, kicking him into Eric. I leap to my feet, trading blows with Four and moving nimbly.

It is like a dance. I muse as I dodge a kick from Amar and wince as Eric lands a harsh blow to my side. I duck as he kicks again, pulling Amar in front of me and shoving forward. Eric dodges him with an intense glare, causing me to grin mockingly as I face off with him and Four.

Four lashes out with a punch and I wind my arm around his, kneeing him in the gut and slamming the palm of my hand into his neck. He grimaces in pain but hooks an arm behind my leg, dragging me forward. I land on his shoulder and he starts to twist me to the ground but I take the opportunity to jam my elbow into a tender spot on his skull.

He falls on me, his body pliable as he falls unconscious. Pausing, Eric and Amar allow me to drag him to the edge, setting him down gently. Then they both rush at me, Eric punching and Amar kicking. I duck, dancing and twisting around them, kicking Eric in the back and punching Amar. They whirl around, jumping at me. I wince as Amar clobbers my thigh but move my head to avoid a kick, lashing out at Eric and hitting him in the groin. He winces but has enough control over himself that he doesn't falter. Amar tries to do a high kick on me but I grab Amar's leg, kicking his groin viciously. He whitens; pain written all over his face as his eyes roll into the back of his head and he falls unconscious.

He joins Four in the corner and I wipe blood off my face, circling Eric with my arms up defensively.

I realize he is waiting for me to hit first and lash out. Immediately, he grabs my arm, popping it out and straining the muscle. I cry out with pain as he threads his arms through mine and pulls me tight against his front. I stare out at my fellow transfers, held helpless against Eric. A thick arm is at my throat and I feel weak.

NO.

Never helpless and weak. Never again.

I bring my legs up and swing over Eric's head, wincing as I tear my arms from his grip but wrap an arm around his throat and pull tight. He chokes, and falls backwards. I groan with pain as his entire body crushes mine underneath him. Dazed from the pain, I am too slow and he flips around, restraining me. I am stuck under him, his legs twined in my to keep me from kicking out. My arms are pulled straight above my head, his iron grip tight around my wrists and a brawny arm pressing lightly against my throat.

I lash under him, my lithe form struggling to get free. I buck and twist, baring my teeth at him. Fire sparks in my dark blue eyes as my competitive spark lights up. I hate to lose. I twist under Eric, trying to head-butt him but he is prepared and simply raises his head higher. He watches me with a look of fascinated boredom and I snap my teeth angrily at him, tears of frustration glinting in my eyes. I buck against him, twisting my hips against his growing erection and his gaze tightens. His hands clamp down on my wrists and his weight settles heavier on me.

"I wouldn't do that again." He rumbles lowly, too low for anyone but me to hear. He pointedly grinds the tip of his erection into my clit and I arch against him, panting as fire races through me. "I don't think you want me to claim you here." He says huskily, his blond hair falling into his gleaming blue eyes and laughter bubbles up in me.

His jaw tightens and he glares down at me.

"Like you would?" I snort derisively, my blue eyes defensive as I glare up at him. "Every time anything ever happens, _I _am the one to instigate it. You make me feel so_ fucking_ frustrated." I growl up at him, our chests pressed tightly together. Eric stares down at me for a second before grinding down on me again.

My head falls back with a thunk as I breath heavily. My stomach tightens as he subtly grinds into me, his steel length boring down on my clit mercilessly. I know it looks like we are still struggling against each other and the glint in Eric's eyes tells me he knows it too. That is the only reason he is doing this, because it doesn't count as giving in. No one knows what is going on right here as waves of pleasure rush through me, causing me to arch against him, tugging my arms from his grip.

My hips writhe under his as his throbbing length teases me to an orgasm in front of everyone. Despite myself, a coil is appearing in my stomach, the naughtiness and danger of being caught turning me on even more. The triumphant expression on Eric's face says he sees it in my flushed features as I bare my teeth again. In his eyes, I see a reflection of myself and I clench my thighs.

My hair has fallen out of the ponytail and is tumbling around my shoulders, lust and anger shining darkly in my eyes as I arch and strain against him.

"Just give in." Eric orders and to the onlookers, it seems like he is telling me to accept defeat but he only telling me to surrender to the pleasure flooding my body. I can see the lust darkening his eyes, see it in the way his muscles bunch against my chest. See it in the way he makes it seem like we are still wrestling as he shoves a rock-hard thigh right against my core.

I jolt, arching and mewling my protest. It comes out a high whine and Eric grins, sitting up and pulling my arms tight against my back.

"Give in." He orders again, forcing me to straddle his lap as he winds his fingers through my long inky multicolored curls and tugs my head back, baring my neck. I know what this must be doing to him. His throbbing cock is nestled right against my core and despite myself, I grind down the littlest bit and his muscles tighten. I bare my teeth in a mocking grin, my eyes glinting darkly as they lock on his.

Frustration flares in his eyes but I plot my escape.

I grind down again, biting back a whimper as I breathe my answer.

"I will never give in." I say strongly, darker emotions swimming under the burning conviction in my voice. Then I throw myself forward, knocking him back and twisting so I am under him. I wrap my thighs around his neck pulling tight and grasping his arm, putting it in a lock. He strains against me, roaring with rage and I watch him coldly as he slowly starts to lose his grip on the conscious world.

Then he surges forward, slipping out of my grip and wrapping me in a headlock. I struggle against his chest but this time, his grip is iron and he isn't toying with me. I strain against him, choking but he just slowly tightens his grip.

"Concede." He orders and I detect a small plead before it is gone and his voice is icy cold again. "Concede and I will let go." His voice rings out but I stubbornly dig my nails into his arm, struggling. He slips a leg between mine, his chest warm against my back. I still, my eyes wide before rage sears through me.

I yank against him, not giving in and choking as he tightens his grip even more.

I flail frantically against him, pleads and cusses slipping from my mouth. But I never concede. I never give in. And the darkness claims me.

**XXX**

A gentle pressure on my face makes me groan and move my head to the side.

Then my eyes snap open and I surge forward, memories crowding my brain. Large hands clamp down on my waist and shove me back down. I strain against him and Eric glares down at me, the startled medic rolling his eyes. My heart slows down a little as my gaze connects with Doc. I relax a little as the older man rolls his eyes, brushing Eric to the side.

"I see you just can't help yourself, kid." He says idly, probing my neck with clinical fingers. I roll my eyes, used to Doc by now. "I thought you said you would stay away from me for at _least _a week. See, this always happens!" He exclaims, cleaning the blood off my face.

"And what is that?" I ask, biting back a smirk. Doc glances down at me, grinning.

"Some young girl gets injured and I patch her up. The next thing I know, she is visiting me all the time. I'm sorry but I'm not into young girls!" He tells me and I grin, used to his way of distracting me.

"You caught me!" I tell him dramatically. "I _need _you, Doc!" I tease and Eric stiffens, his jaw clenching and gaze darkening. I avoid looking at him, focusing on my pseudo father figure. Doc barks a laugh, pulling the stitches out of my cheek and putting butterfly tape over the four inch cut on my right cheekbone.

"I knew it." He jokes and backs a little. "How are your ribs?" He asks, genuine concern showing in his eyes. I avoid his gaze as I hitch up a shoulder. He sighs and carefully lifts my shirt halfway. Eric's fists clench from his folded arms and I smirk inwardly. Look at Mr. Unaffected getting affected. Doc carefully presses on the new bruise and I flinch away, both because of the pain and the small jolt of pleasure. Eric sees it in my eyes and his whole body tenses up.

"Hurry up!" He snaps angrily. "I've got a class to run." He barks and Doc nods, respectfully. I roll my eyes subtly and Doc grins while Eric glares. Dock spreads a bruise salve on my ribs and gently patches me up, under Eric's watchful gaze.

"Be careful." Doc mutters, putting the last piece of tape on my gauze. I huff a laugh, my smooth stomach clenching and un-clenching with the movement.

"What faction do you think I'm in?" I tease, pulling my shirt down and sitting up, straddling the bench. "Abnegation? I'm Dauntless now, baby!" I tease, tossing my head and Doc snorts. He gets up and gathers his stuff, striding away with his assistant medic. I rise to my feet, flexing my shoulders and assessing the pain. Mild pain in my ribs, soft pain in my face, my shoulders ache, my wrists feel a little tender and that throbbing spot between my legs is awake and alive.

I meet Eric's knowing gaze and sneer at him before tossing my head and joining the rest of the group.

Screw him...

...oh, if only I didn't want to so badly...

* * *

Only one review?! C'mon guys! I know for a fact there is 52 of you reading this. Excuse me while I go pout. You guys are luck Paz likes having her Eric moments...that being said, I will offer you something for the next chapter. If it works, we'll try it again, if it doesn't then I'll scrap it. If you review for this chapter, I will send you a preview of the next chapter...I'll be waiting...

AmaranteX - I agree with you, I love the fact they are both so passionate. Paz can match him blow for blow (sometimes literally) and I think that is something Eric would need.

_And last but never least, a big thank you to those of you that fav/followed my story!_

MoonliteSonatina, Pandy-cakes, Ibiki's Lover, xlifeisbeautifulx, Biancahurst, and G8RnCLT!

Just remember, a Review will equal a Preview!


	10. Chapter 10 - Giving in & Stage 3 (pt 1)

A/N: Disclaimer: I don't own the Divergent world. I only own Pazia. (Pronounced: Pah-ze-ah.) All outfits are on my profile. This story is set after Four and Eric became Dauntless but the year before Tris became Dauntless.

**_Rating:_** _M_

**_Word_**_** Count:** 8, 116_

**Chapter Ten**

* * *

_**Previously on Battle Scars:**_

_I meet Eric's knowing gaze and sneer at him before tossing my head and joining the rest of the group._

_Screw him..._

_...oh, if only I didn't want to so badly..._

* * *

After my encounter with Eric, the rest of the month continues surprisingly smoothly.

I make progress on my truck in Mechanical Training, rise through the ranks in Eric's classes and claiming the top spots, working with Tori in Tattoo Assistance and working through my fears. I have faced them all and brought my time down to 15:49.60 but it isn't enough to edge Ellie out of spot number one, only get me to spot 2. It frustrates me. I adore Ellie but I hate losing. That is where my fear of failure gets me every time.

I go into the sim room and just as I am about to go under, I feel fear at failing and that slows down my reaction time in the first fear. It sucks but I am reluctantly impressed at Ellie. She has come so far from her peaceful Amity fields. Her and Ander are going strong, regularly getting caught making out. Ellie has long since gotten over blushing at being caught and Ander always has this self-satisfied/awed look on his face every time he looks her way.

A few other members of our group are hooking up but Raza, Sam, Tabby, Zander, Izzy and I are all still single. I see Izzy and Sam spending more time together though and Zander is almost always watching Tabby with a confused and contemplating face. I guess he found out about her crush on him. Tabby is both pleased and mortified at the reason for his attention. It is a bit of a sore spot with her.

Raza and I are the only truly single ones.

We are also almost tied for second spot in Stage Two, a source of friendly competition.

I make my way into the Pit, spotting my friends and joining them as they cheerfully greet me. I roll my eyes at Sam and Izzy, seeing them sitting close beside each other and laugh as Ellie makes out with Ander. He pulls back to shoot me a dirty look but grins. Him, Sam and Ty are still a bit sore about all the pranking we did.

We started off with hiding under their beds at night and grabbing at their ankles as they went to go to the bathroom. The amount of times we did that and they still screeched and flailed was an endless source of amusement but not as much as when we would sneak up beside their beds and just stand over them with a dagger. Mike once got punched by a flailing Sam for that little stunt.

Then there was the time when one of us put on a mask and jumped out from behind the door. I swear I thought Ander was going to wet himself. One time Ellie pretended to accidentally cut her hand and sprayed Ander with ketchup. His face was so horrified when I scooped up some and ate it that we all burst out laughing.

Other members of Dauntless joined in with the pranking but the best one was the time Amar dressed up really scary and snuck up really obviously on Ty. We all watched avidly as Ty caught him and scolded him before turning around, coming face-to-face with Four, screaming loudly and passing out. There was a moment of complete silence and then all hell broke loose. Everyone was laughing so hard, slipping off benches, clutching stomachs, crying from laughter, it was beautiful.

For hours after that, there would be random bursts of laughter as the memory popped up in our heads.

Ty wasn't too happy about that but he was okay with it, knowing it was all in good spirit. We weren't doing it to be cruel but rather to create laughter and eventually, he too was able to laugh at it. In part thanks to Misty's picture of absolute comical terror on his face before he passed out.

I snort, thinking of that prank and Ty turns, glaring at me. I laugh at him, Ellie pulling away to giggle with me. We exchange gleeful grins. Small snorts are passed down the table as Four walks up and Ty flinches a little. I clap a hand over my mouth, giggling into Raza's shoulder. He chuckles with me, remembering the humorous sight.

"Listen up initiates!" Four calls, a grin twitching at his mouth before he smooths it out and nods at Eric. "Today we are doing something different. Follow us and try not to get lost." Four orders and takes off. We scramble to get up, jogging after him. To my surprise, he doesn't continue farther into Dauntless but rather along one of the paths that circle around the Pit. I exchange anticipatory glances with everyone as we get closer and closer to the top

We climb some stairs with Four, everyone look around curiously. We are now walking on the glass floor overlooking the Pit and I feel a small shiver of fear run down my back before shoving it away. My eyes are wide as I look at the bustling activity up here. Dauntless are in clusters, talking, wrestling and practicing with their weapons. I spot someone with a bow and arrow shooting a target and my eyes widen. Eric mentioned something about that in our next lesson tonight and anticipation stirs in me. Above us, two ropes stretch across the room like in the obstacle course and a female is crossing the rope, holding onto the one above her head for balance.

We cross the room with Four and I smile as I see Jett sparring with Lyrica. He grins back, winking at me, the silver of his necklace peaking out through his shirt. I smirk when I see he still has it on, rolling my eyes playfully at him and waving to Lyrica as we trail after Four into a dank room with exposed pipes.

"In this room, you all will be experiencing something called a fear landscape. It isn't working right now so you can't try it out just yet. The fear landscape will access the data we have stored on your fear simulations and will present your fears to you as an obstacle to get past. Depending on who you are, you may have new fears, less fears, more fears or old fears. The difference between this and the sims is you will have your wits about you. You will be fully aware that this is not real but the mind has an uncanny ability to overwhelm logic so keep that in mind. You will all be facing a varying number of fears, depending on who you are and how many fears you have yet to conquer. This will be your final stage. Like I said before, this stage will focus on your mental ability, just like Stages one and two focused on physical and emotional ability. This will combine stages one and two into one practical final test." Four says confidently and Eric steps forward.

"Next week you will all go through your fear landscape in front of a panel of Dauntless leaders, myself included. The one with the fastest time will be the most likely to win so I would advise you to keep that in mind. This will determine your ranking for stage three. This is the most important stage of all of them as it can also determine what you will be doing- if anything- after your final rankings. There is only two ways to get past your fear. You face it or you calm yourself down. I suggest you take the time to think about all of your fears. You will have the rest of today off." Eric finishes and nods brusquely at us before striding out of the room and leaving.

Once again he is back to denying anything and everything between us.

I huff and bite back a sigh. I split up from the group as they head to the Pit to party. I make my way to the room, grabbing my paper and pencil pack before heading to the Tattoo Parlor. I nod at Tori, who is tattooing Mike. I grin at my fellow initiate, not pausing and heading into the Drawing Room. I open my paper, shutting the door behind me and going over to a desk. For the longest time, I stare at the blank sheet of paper but nothing comes to mind.

Sighing, I toss the pencil down and rub my face tiredly with my hands. Anxiety is swirling inside me at the thought of not only finally facing my fears but facing my fears in front of the Dauntless Leaders- in front of Eric. Especially since he is in a few of my fears. I throw myself down on the red velvet couch, staring up at the dark ceiling. I don't know how I am going to do this.

I sign again and roll on my side, stretching out on the couch, shaking out my long curls, pulling off my baggy sweatshirt, kicking off my shoes and socks and slowing my breathing. Before long, I am deep asleep stretched out on the couch.

**xXXXx**

I sigh sleepily, little jolts of pleasure sweeping up my spine.

Not wanting to give up this dream, I keep my eyes closed and stay in this dreamy world. Lips brush my bare shoulder as fingers slowly push my tank top up, tracing my hips and stomach with heated fingers. I sigh, arching into his broad chest.

"Eric..." I breathe softly and the fingers pause before lips touch down on mine. I open my mouth willingly under a questing tongue as he gently teases me, swirling his tongue around mine. I moan softly, submitting to the fiercely gentle kiss as his fingers trail up into my hair. I open my legs willingly as I feel his muscled body gently touch my knees and he settles in with a quiet growl.

He pulls my tank top down, revealing my lacy chest and I wait, the anticipation killing me. I trace his abs, the muscles clenching under my gentle hands. I slip my fingers under his shirt, gently thumbing his muscles and moving my hands slowly up his chest. I reach his nipples and gently circle them, causing a shuddering growl to be released as hot kisses are being pressed to my chest.

I arch closer into him, hooking my legs around his waist and slotting us together perfectly. My eyes roll behind closed eyelids as I feel his throbbing erection press against my heated core and he rolls his hips against mine. A soft mewl escapes me and my mouth is gently probed open, his tongue slipping in and starting a slow, languid kiss. I run my nails down his chest, slipping my hands out from under his shirt and into his hair. I scrape my nails over the shorter sides and tug gently on the longer blonde hair on top.

Our bodies curve together like we were made to be together as a slow fire burns inside of us. His thumb sweeps gently over my jaw, small kisses following his fingers and sucking gently on my earlobe. My breath catches as I arch closer to him, pressing us closer together. Commandingly, he settles his weight onto me, holding me in place as he tilts my head to the side and slides his hot mouth over my salty skin, suck and gently scraping his teeth over my pulse. I gently sink my nails into his neck causing him to jolt and brush against me.

I open my mouth, gentle pants escaping me as his fingers wind through my dark curls, gently grabbing a fistful and tugging my head back. He explores my neck with his heated mouth, marking and tasting languidly. I whimper, needing him. I reach my hand between us, reaching for his erection but his hand clamps down on my wrist, dragging it up above my head and holding me hostage. I wiggle my hips but he uses his own to pin them down.

"Don't. Let me take care of you." He whispers huskily, burning lust in his voice and I moan, my head falling back again as I submit to him. He grows impossibly harder against my core, rocking forward. Pleasure races through me as he rolls his hips steadily. I toss my head, feeling the coil tighten but then he stills his hips.

"More." I moan and Eric's muscles shift against mine as he leans down and swirls his tongue on the tops of my breasts. "_Yesss_." I hiss tranquilly, darting forward and nipping at his throat. Eric curses, dragging a rougher kiss out of me as he drops a hand down and slides it under my bra. He circles a nipple, pinching and teasing until I whine into his mouth. "Eric..." I moan again and his breath comes faster.

"Paz..." He groans back, my name uttered hoarsely with burning need and barely there restraint. I need to test him so I rock my hips forward, opening my mouth invitingly. There is a pause and I flick my tongue out teasingly and then he snaps. He roughly tugs my head back by my hair, dominating my mouth sweetly.

He moves against me smoothly, his heated fingers trialing down my side until they slip under my waistband. My breath catches as he traces my sex with his fingers and then I moan throatily as two thick fingers sink in. My head falls back as my mouth falls open, small pants escaping. He pulls his fingers out slowly and pumps them back in, reaching deeper. I writhe slowly under his ministrations, tugging away from his iron grip on my wrists.

When he releases, I dart forward, burying my fingers in his soft blond hair, tugging gently and pulling him into a deep kiss. I swirl my tongue around his, nipping playfully and his fingers curl deep in me, pulling a long moan out of me and Eric groans into my mouth, pressing in faster. I arch into him, scratching his neck as I wrap our mouths together. He presses closer, curling his fingers and hitting that one special spot.

"Oh!" I moan breathily and he freezes before brushing that spot again. Ecstasy washes over me and he slips in another finger in, pumping them deeper and curling them. I can do nothing but accept the pleasure washing over me. Eric laughs huskily, his lips closing around my pulse and sucking hard, scraping his teeth over the skin on my neck and I snap. Bliss washes in waves over me and a sleepy feeling washes stronger over me as Eric strokes me gently before pulling his fingers out.

His fingers press against my lips and I open them willingly, surprised at the salty taste. Regardless, I clean his fingers thoroughly, swirling my tongue between his fingers and taking them deep in my mouth. His breath comes in pants and I reach for his throbbing erection but a gentle hand stops me.

"What about you?" I whisper, never wanting to wake up from this dream as Eric's laughter rumbles in his chest.

"I can take care of me. I've been doing it for a while now." Eric whispers, pressing a gentle kiss to my neck and then his weight is slowly lifting off me. I frown sleepily, wrapping my arms around his neck and nuzzling his cheek. He freezes, tense and hard. I can sense the shock in his body language at the affectionate gesture that up until now, has been only ever granted to Jett.

"But _I want_ to take care of you." I whisper, nipping his jaw and Eric's breath catches before he gently untangles my arms from his neck. He brushes a gentle finger down my cheek on the butterfly tapes and I nuzzle his hand.

"One day." He promises. "Go back to sleep." He tells me quietly and I grab his hand, holding it to my cheek.

"Stay." I say drowsily and he pauses before scooping me up and settling me on his chest. "Thank you." I whisper, pressing a gentle kiss to his chest and allowing myself to fall away.

**XXX**

I wake up slowly, curled on the couch.

A flash of a sleepy dream makes me look around but I am the only one in here. I sigh with disappointment but get up, moving to the desk. The throb between my legs is gone and I feel curiously sated. I flush, thinking I might have taken care of myself in my sleep. I don't know how I can face Tori, knowing what I did with myself in the heated throes of a dream.

For a moment, an almost painful longing for it to have really been Eric surprises me before I shove it away.

I grab my pad of paper and pencils, zipping the case shut and turning to leave. I shake my shoulders out, raising my head and striding determinedly to the door. I slow in my movements, noticing my shoes have been moved from in front of the couch. I frown, slipping them on and seeing my sweater tossed over the coffee table. I could have sworn I had left it tucked under my head. I must have had a nightmare. I move around a lot when I do. I sigh, shrugging it on and turning to go. My gaze falls on my image in the mirror and I pause. I step closer, tugging the collar of my sweater down and my eyes widen.

I have a hickey on my neck.

I yank the door open and stride out, my wide eyes easily spotting the blonde Dauntless leader getting a tattoo on his arm. I step closer, his gaze meeting mine blankly. I snap my mouth shut, ignoring Tori's questioning glance. I look down at his tattoo and my eyes widen even more when I see what he is getting.

He is having Tori ink in the nail marks I left on his shoulders.

My breath hitches as I dart my gaze up to his. He watches me with bold look, his clenched fist giving away a sign of nerves. I blink rapidly, curiosity and confusion spiraling through me.

"Did you-" I cut myself off, wetting my lips and glancing at Tori. Eric leans forward and catches my gaze in his burning gaze.

"I'll take care of myself." He quotes softly and my breath catches as I stare at him with wide eyes.

"But I want to." I mummer reflexively and he nods, settling back. In awe that my dream wasn't a dream, I turn and rush out of there, his gaze burning into my back the entire way.

**XXX**

"Listen up initiates. Your final rankings for Stage Two is up in your room. Tomorrow you will be doing Stage Three. You only have one shot, so make the most of it." With that said, Eric nods coldly at us and strides away, sitting beside Max and Four. I watch him curiously but Eric is back to ignoring me. I clench my fists under the table.

It is so frustrating.

That is the only time he has been the one to start something with me. Every other time I am the one who teases and flaunts myself until he snaps and dominates me. I frown, staring sightless down at my food. His hot and cold treatment hurts a little but I distract myself by turning to my group.

"Today, I will be getting tattoos. As you all know, I only have the one on my wrist that binds us as a group." I speak quietly, a gentle authority in my voice as I address them. "I have 11 tattoos I plan on getting. They signify my 14 fears. I plan on getting them today so they can remind me to be strong tomorrow. I am no longer going to held back by my fears. I plan on facing and conquering them all tomorrow. Because whether or not I make it, I am Dauntless through and through." I look around at my solemn group. "It has been an honor meeting all of you and growing together. I will never forget any of you." I say, looking each of them right in the eyes.

Zander and Tabby.

Sasha and Dean.

Izzy and Sam.

Ander and Ellie.

Emily and Blade.

Sandra and Razor.

Josh and Misty.

Raven and Mike.

Ry and Violette.

Andy and Howard.

Raza.

Jon and our still sick friend, Taylor. I feel a flash of pain, knowing even if she pulls through, she will be condemned to the Factionless for her score of 0. I know though that Jon is fiercely devoted to her and will follow when she goes. As is, he will be cut anyway because of his low ranking. He will be going with Sandra and Razor. I feel pain throb in my heart. I am not particularly close to those three but I do know they are courageous and loyal and that the world is a truly twisted place, no matter _what_ you do to change it.

I raise my glass in salute to the three and they salute back, understanding the toast.

I can't save them.

It was risky enough the first time I did it for the first six to be cut but I cannot do it again. We have been informed that if anything of the like happens again, they start shooting the initiates until they find who endangered on of their senior leaders, Max. They have a look of peace in their eyes though that I envy. They look like they have accepted their fate with a grace few posses.

Pride swells in my heart as I finish my food and take care of my tray, friends silently following as we pass by the Leaders table. I pause, my friends stopping behind me. I watch them critically. Max, Eric, Angel (a female Dauntless Leader), Sienna (another female Dauntless Leader) and Conner, the final Dauntless Leader watching us curiously back.

After a moment, I slowly, regally tilt my head in a bow. I raise a fist and clasp it to my chest, right over my heart in a silent confession of loyalty. I don't have to look to know my group is following my example. After an appropriate pause, I straighten out and stride past them, lengthening my stride into a light jog, the thud of boots behind me allowing me to grin; knowing my group is with me the whole way.

We silently stream through the tunnels, experiencing everything to the fullest as we come to a stop in the tattoo parlor. Tori grins, knowing from the look on my face what I want. She pulls me to her work space and for the next 14 hours, I sit quietly and allow Tori to paint my tattoos on me.

Fear of Burning Alive/Fear of Drowning

It starts out thin on the bottom and swells out, curving like a wave but the water has the unmistakable small curves and licks of flames. The blue flames are outlined with black, lending it an edgy look. It will curve up from above my right hipbone and stop just under my boob.

Fear of Being Buried Alive/Fear of Betrayal

A slightly smudged, thin, curved trees with few branches and patches of leaves. Three of them curve out of a small dark patch of dirt. The smudge makes it look ominous and it's all in black and dark shades of gray. It goes on my left hip. It will rise from the small plot of dirt on my hipbone.

Fear of the Future/Having no Control

Tori uses looping letters and copies it from my paper: _Come what may._ Something that will help me with my need for control. It goes on the back of my left leg, on the calf.

Fear of Pain/Father

_The pain you feel today,_

_is the strength you feel tomorrow;_

_Never be a victim,_

_forever be a fighter._

This one will go on my right hipbone, right over my belly and it makes it seem like the flame/wave is rising from my words of strength.

Fear of Falling with no one there to catch me.

**Sometimes you wake up.**

**Sometimes the fall kills you.**

**And sometimes, when you fall,**

**you fly.**

This one is going to be done in bold black block letters down the inside of my left forearm.

Fear of being Factionless

It is a shimmering golden-orange sun with the rays curling around each other and reaching out, the longest rays straight up, down and out the two sides. Set firmly in the middle is the orange-red Dauntless flames on a black circle.

Fear of Failure

It says: _**never give up.**_ It will go on my right hand along the inside of my ring finger.

Fear of Snakes

A slender black snake encircling my right wrist above the howling wolf head. The snake will bite its own tail, signifying life goes on.

Fear of Birds

Is a long black feather with light blue highlights along the outside of my right ankle.

And last:

Fear of Dying

It goes under my sunburst dauntless tattoo on my heart. It is two simple words: _choose life._

Tori finally pulls away and wipes away the last of the blood and ink. Quiet pride gleams in her dark eyes as she looks me over and nods in approval. I slowly get up and look.

I look fearless, all tattooed.

I look Dauntless.

**XXX**

**Stage Two Rankings**

**1 - Ellie**

**2 - Paz**

**3 - Dean**

**4 - Ander**

**5 - Tabby **

**6 - Raza**

**7 - Sam**

**8 - Mike**

**9 - Misty**

**10 - Zander**

* * *

**Izzy**

**Josh**

**Sasha**

**Violette**

**Ty**

**Blade**

**Andy**

**Raven**

**Emily**

**Howard**

* * *

**Sandra**

**Jon**

**Razor**

**Taylor**

**XXX**

When I wake up the next day, I lay in my bed, staring up at the bottom of the top bunk.

I feel completely at ease. There is a peaceful feeling washing over me and I realize this is how Sasha, Razor and Jon felt yesterday. I feel at peace; calm and fluid. I roll out of bed, the peaceful feeling reflected in my eyes and in my movements. I pull out what I am going to wear and lay it on my bed, leaving to take a shower. I notice that most everyone is already gone to the Pit, only a few of the girls left in the room.

I shower slowly, taking care to shave what I need, washing every inch of myself. I close my eyes and let the water run soothingly down my head, slithering over my shoulders and caressing the rest of my body. I sigh quietly, letting my head fall back as I arched under the water, letting it wipe the slate clean. Today, rankings don't mater. Personal strength does. Physical, Mental and Emotional.

I dry off, leaving the bathroom and dropping my towel to get dressed.

I slip on a pair of black underwear and then pull on jump suit. The sheer black lacy top has small crystal beads sewn into it so it catches the light. I wear no bra and the lace is layered over the plunging v neck over my boobs, only giving small hints. The lace is lighter on my sides so you can clearly see the tattoos that go down my sides. This sheer lace is sleeveless and connects flawlessly with sleek black shorts that hug my every curve. There is a concealed zipper on the side and the shorts make my legs look like they are miles long. I pull on a pair of sleek, chunky heeled black boots with two silver buckles on the ankle where they cut off.

I hook on Jett's phoenix necklace, the silver stunning against my skin and the black lace jumpsuit. I pull on a pair of sleek black finger-less gloves with a silver zipper down the side. I paint my nails a glossy black, letting it dry while I brush my eyelashes to their fullest length and swiping an electric blue line on my top lid and dusting sweet pink over it. The dazzling effect is my eyes are piercing and look dangerously innocent.

I brush out my glossy curls, the different shades highlighting my Dauntless. That done, I admire the picture I make. I look so very sophisticated, bold, innocent and sexy at the same time in my stunning jumpsuit. I nod, satisfied at my outfit and stride out of the room. I make my way to the piercing shop and enter it.

There is one lone person there and his eyes widen as he takes the sight of me in.

I give him my instructions and sit back. The small stinging pains lining both of my ears makes me tense a little. I admire the silver studs lining curve of my ears, a small but thick silver hoop at the tops, a small silver stud then a silver and black flower, a small silver stud, then a clear stud, a final tiny silver stud and then black studs.

I get two silver spider bite piercings in silver hoops side by side on my right bottom lip. I get a black hoop in my left nostril and top it off with a silver stud in my tongue. The pain radiating is eased by a salve rubbed on the tender flesh. The piercings take most of my points and I am lucky I have been building them up the past couple of months.

As I leave, I see nipple piercings and my eyebrows shoot up as a wicked idea curls in my mind.

But in end, I decide to forgo the nipple piercings...at least for now.

**XXX**

I reach the Pit and it is odd to see it so bare.

Turning, I look up and the glass ceiling is dark, covered with the booted feet of the Dauntless ready to watch our final Stage. I take a deep breath and twirl around on my heel, striding determinedly up the steps. I marvel at the easy way I traverse the steps, despite how far away it is, my muscles don't burn or show any other sign of tiring.

I am strong.

I push through the Dauntless gathered around three screens. One screen shows an initiate facing their fear (we can't see the fear, only the person), another screen shows the heart rate and the last screen shows her time. Every time she can calm herself, the screens flash green and the gathered Dauntless cheer.

Right now, I see Razor in the room.

I push through the crowd to the door and stride through, nodding at Four; who stares a moment before flushing and nodding me through. A small smirk curls around my red lips as I move in the room and the other initiates stare.

"Damn girl!" Raza whistles, wrapping an arm around my shoulders and tugging me over to the rest of them. I laugh a little and look fondly at my group.

"I want to feel Dauntless when I face my fears." I explain simply and they all nod, wide eyes lingering on the piercings and tattoos that cover my body. I sit down beside Ellie, grasping her hand tightly and she squeezes it, looking fearful but composed. "You are going to rule this." I whisper and she grins at me, tugging me into a hug. I hug her fiercely back, my little sister showing me all of her affection.

"Love you Paz." She whispers and I stiffen. I have only ever said that to one person. Jett and now...I take a deep breath and let it out, pulling back and looking her straight in the eye.

"I love you too, Ellie. A girl couldn't ask for a better sister or Dauntless companion." I tell her seriously and tears well in her eyes as a breathtaking smile spreads across her face. We sit together, cuddled against the wall as one by one, everyone goes in. And then it is just Ellie and I.

"Eleanor Robinson. You may come in now." Max calls and Ellie gets up, striding over to him.

"It's Ellie." She says coldly and swiftly lays down in the chair. He raises an eyebrow as I smile proudly at Ellie.

"Alright then."

I breathe slowly, watching the screens avidly. By my calculations, Ellie has about 15 fears. She moves quickly through them, more often than not calming herself in the face of her fears. When she finishes, pride and admiration burst through me. She has the fastest time.

**14:49.58**

By far the best time.

In order to keep my slot in second place, I need to get at least 15:36.29. I take a deep breath and stand up, waiting for my name to be called. Finally, the door is pulled open and I see Eric's brawny shoulders. His head is bowed over a tablet as he calls for me.

"Pazi-" He lifts his head and stares at me. I stride slowly over to him, his stunned gaze locked on my every movement. He swallows, a quick jerky movement before masking himself. "Pazia Reynolds, follow me." He says stiffly, his eyes lingering on the sly smirk curled on my red lips before he turns sharply and leads me into a different room. I move gracefully over to the chair and sit down, pulling my hair to the side and causing it to fall over my left eye. I look up at him as I run my hand through it and brush it back.

"Ready." I say demurely, baring my neck and heat flares in his eyes again. A wolfish smirk curls on his lips and I shiver a little but lay back. His fingers linger on my neck a moment before he presses the injection gun to it. He doesn't say anything to me but then he doesn't need to. I close my eyes and wait for it to work.

_Gentle rocking motions alert me to my first fear. I sit up and open my eyes, __I am on a life raft._

_The sky is a beautiful blue, clouds drifting along; a fluffy white. I lay back, enjoying the gentle rocking of the sea waves. The wind gently ruffles my hair and I sigh happily, all my tension melting away. The sun warms me and keeps me calm. I hum lightly to myself, something I haven't done in years. The wind pulls at my hair and I laugh, not bothering to open my eyes. I fling my arms above my head and arch my back, settling back down sleepily. The wind picks up speed and I pout at having to open my eyes._

_The raft rocks violently and I shoot up, grasping the rubber. I look up, the sky turning an ominous black with flashes of lightning. The raft rocks violently again and I whimper, afraid. The waves are growing bigger, swelling up and crashing down onto each other. I watch with wide eyes, the spray slapping me harshly in the face. The raft rocks again and a small scream escapes me._

_Liquid gathers around my feet and I look down with horror. There is a small tear in the raft and I drop down, grasping the edges and desperately trying to keep them shut. I sigh as the water stops leaking through the blue raft but more water is pooling around my ankles. I look around, my eyes widening when I spot several more small tears that water is gushing through._

_At a loss, I start scooping the water out frantically, fear making me sloppy. I slip and scream with fear as the raft splits open and I drop into the ocean. The cold water is a shock to my system and I cough violently, the salt water scraping my throat._

_"Help!" I scream loudly, my head slipping under before I paddle myself back up to the surface. "HELP ME!" I scream out, crying. Tears stream down my face and mix with the sea. I slip under again and come up, coughing. "Help me! Somebody!" I cry out, my arms tiring. A large wave crashes over me and I tumble around like a leaf in the wind. Salt stings my eyes and little cuts appear all over my body. My blood swirls around me, strangely hypnotic but terror pounding through my veins makes me discard it. I start to swim, my lungs burning and pleading for air._

_Pain radiates all over my body from the salt and cuts and I can barely focus. __My heartbeat becomes louder and louder and I almost give in. I almost open my mouth and let the water take me away but a flare of defiance gives me strength and I renew my kicks and struggles._

_I open my eyes, the salt stinging them and look around. My blood clouds the water but- there. A dark shape floats to my side and hope lights in my heart. I know how to swim. Back Before, Jett and I used to sneak over to Amity and play around in the lakes they had over there. I strike out, cupping my palms and kicking my feet._

_I get closer, my lungs burning for air and finally reach it._

_I realize it is a part of the floating raft as I struggle onto it, couching the burning saltwater from my lungs. I collapse onto my knees, noticing the burning of my cuts. The salt stings in them and the pain grows. I wipe at my arms frantically, my eyes widening when I see blue flames licking up my skin._

_I scream, terror racing through me. I stumble to my feet, looking around. I am now in a forest and flames are circling me. I back away from the smothering heat, yelping and whirling around when I bump into a burning tree. I look around, the flames crawling towards me and I see a small, untouched tree._

_I race over to it, climbing up._

_For a moment, cool air envelopes me and then I yelp. I am tied up! I struggle against the ropes, the thick smoke invading my lungs and causing me to cough violently. I whimper with fear as the flames start to creep up the tree, coming closer and closer to my feet. I struggle against the ropes, yanking against them but I have no way to get free.  
_

_I scream, high and agonized._

_The flames lick at my feet, eating my flesh. The flames make crackling, popping, hissing noises and I pant desperately. In the past, I have let myself be burned alive but now is different, I can do this. I look around, shoving the pain away as I have so often done in the past. I look down at the ropes and then look up. There. _

_I can see the glinting handle of a knife. Struggling, I purposefully cut my wrist on the rope, the slickness of my blood helping my hand slip free. I reach up and grab the knife, sawing the ropes and look at the flames defiantly. I bare my teeth and jump straight into the flames._

_Blessed coolness washes over me and I sigh happily. The cushions underneath me providing comfort. A sound like gravel hitting the roof makes me furrow my brow and a sigh whooshes out of me. I reluctantly open my eyes, trying to be quiet so I don't wake up father. Gravel showers the roof again and I roll my eyes into the dark night._

_I sit up and blinding pain erupts in my forehead._

_I clap a hand to the sore spot and take deep breaths until the pain fades. Uncertainty resonates within me but I raise a shaking hand up anyway. About six inches up, my hand hits wood. I gently explore it, my breath coming in fearful pants and my heart in my throat._

_I push against the smooth wood and hope alights in me when it gives a little. I push harder, and the top swings back. I scramble to my feet and look around. Sun shines down and I can clearly see the four walls of dirt. A shower of something hits my head and I shake it onto the white fabric that is in...a coffin. I notice the dirt fall from my head and slowly look up._

_My Mother, Father, Jett, Ander, Ellie, Misty, Violette, Sam, Mike, Ty, Taylor, Raza, Dean, Josh, Sasha, Izzy and Ander stand around my grave with stoic faces. Then, in one smooth movement, seventeen shovels of dirt rain down on me. I stumble back, hitting one of the walls of my grave as the horror mounts inside of me._

_"Stop!" I shout, but they show no sign of hearing me. More dirt rains down and I am frozen with horror. My feet won't move and I can't say anything. I look pleadingly at their faces, fear and sorrow winning the battle in my heart as they bury me alive. I shove the dirt off myself and struggle up. I wait and time the right moment. As they tilt the shovel in, I grab one and use it to swing myself out of the grave, tossing Zander in. I whirl, anger flaring boldly in my brilliant blue eyes._

_"You are not my family!" I shout, and attack them. I shove and push them into the grave and then shovel dirt in. When I have filled the dirt in, I plant the shovel on top and hold my arms out to the sky. "This doesn't scare me! I will _never _let this happen to myself." _

_Abruptly, I am in a room, cowering._

_I slowly raise my head, looking around uncurling. I am home. My room looks the same as always. Inspiration posters of Jenine Mathews line my walls, my bed is neatly made, and my books are lined from tallest to shortest in my bookcases. I relax a little, sitting on my bed and smoothing out the non-existent wrinkles._

_A loud noise causes me to flinch and I slowly slip off the bed, padding over to my door. Uncertainly, I reach out for the nob, my hand shaking..._

_The door bursts open and I scream, flinching back as my father storms in._

_"-anything less than an 'A' and you get beaten!" He roars and my disbelieving eyes fix on my first ever B. I stare in shock. I have never in my entire life gotten anything other than an A. Especially on a written paper. The teachers always praised my eloquent writing and persuasive thinking. "Are you listening to me?!" My father roars, shredding the paper and advancing on me. "You will listen!" He hisses, drawing back his foot and slamming it into my ribs._

_A loud cracking noise rings out and I scream with pain, my vision going grey. He draws back his foot and kicks me again and again. I sobbed quietly as I lay helpless, and weak. Then my fingers fall to my tattoo and I struggle to my feet. For a moment, my father watches me as I shake from head to toe. _

_"You scare me." I admit in a wavering voice. "But you don't have to paralyze me with fear anymore. I know how to protect myself and I will not let you hurt me. Not anymore." I shake my head and throw my shoulders back defiantly, an arrogant tilt to my chin."I am Dauntless. And Dauntless are _never _weak." He roars with rage and rushes at me. For a moment, I tense in fear but I duck the punch and tackle him around the waist. "YOU. WILL. NEVER. HURT ME. EVER. AGAIN!" I shout, my fists shooting out and bloodying his face. I hit him and the bone giving way under my anger drives my blood-lust higher._

_I hit him harder, _needing to cause him pain. _Then his skull gives way and I pound his brain to mush. When I finally step away from his body, I straighten up and sneer down at him._

_"I am no longer scared of you. I can do this anytime." Then I turn and stride away from him, blood dripping from my hands._

_My vision fades out and I wake up in a classroom._

_"What is the excuse for this?" My teacher questions, holding up a paper with a red B in bold on the front. My eyes widen and fear races through me. "You failed!" She shouts as fear runs through me._

_'Failed.'_

_'Failure.'_

_Her voice echoes and all of a sudden, I am on top of a building, my friends surrounding me._

_"Guys?" I question and they back away from me._

_"We don't associate with failures." Tabby sneers and I flinch. I scan the group, fear writhing sickeningly in my gut._

_"Ellie?" I ask and my voice is soft, child-like. But her blue eyes look at me with cold contempt._

_"Failure." She hisses and they pick up the chant as she steps towards me._

_"Failure, failure, failure, failure." They chant as she stops in front of me.  
_

_"No one will be there to catch you." She whispers and I frown, confused. Then a scream rips its way out of my throat as her hands shoot out and for one moment, I am suspended in the air. Then gravity takes over and I plummet to the ground. The wind rips cruelly at my hair, slapping me in the face and tossing me around._

_My heart races faster and faster as I pass each floor, a friend watching me cruelly from each level. Fear races through me and I scream. But then I look at my arm. "Sometimes when you fall, you fly." I mummer and my eyes widen. "Of course! " I laugh. " I need to fly. " I hold my arms out and close my eyes, refusing to look down. I let the wind comb through my hair and laugh as I slow down. I open my eyes and see I am in a zip line sling. I pull the latch and drop, landing lightly on my feet..._

_...I am in a room with my mother, Ellie, Jett and Eric tied to chairs. I try to rush to them, but my feet are stuck to the ground. I struggle frantically and they watch with sad eyes behind their gags. I struggle, punching the air, the complete lack of control I have over the situation washing over me. I scream to them, begging for someone, anyone to come. I break down, sobbing and the moment I do, a gun appears on the floor in front of me._

_"Two bullets." A voice whispers and I whirl around, but no one is there. I face forward and Ellie is out of the chair, right in front of me. "Shoot them. You can only save one and I am already lost." She says and smiles with bloody teeth, a wound on her chest and blood rapidly spreading around the edges. I scream with fear, cradling her body. "Shoot or loose them all." She whispers and I grab the gun, my hands shaking. I face the three._

_My mother smiles sadly at me, and my heart lurches. _

_"I am so sorry Mama!" I cry, suddenly 5 years old again. "But you are already dead and I need to save him!" __I slowly raise the gun, my hands shaking and my vision blurry. I__ blink the tears back, never knowing what to do. In the end, I take a deep breath, ready to pull the trigger as I calm myself and shoot- my mother slumping ungracefully over, her eyes blank and dead._

_A small cry escapes me and I suck in a deep breath. _

_I turn to the two men watching me. Jett's dark eyes meet mine and I smile tearfully at him. I look at Eric, my heart thudding faster. His blue eyes are cold and composed, his eyebrows drawn over the blue orbs. I take a deep breath and raise the gun again._

_"I have feelings for you." I whisper brokenly, clicking the safety off the gun. "But I am not in love with you. Maybe one day though." I laugh a sob, tears burning in my eyes and a tear in my heart. "One day. I'm sorry. Good bye, Eric." _

_And I pull the trigger._

* * *

Yay! I love my reviewers. They make me grin.

MyhusbandsaPRICK - Hey, that's okay. I'm just glad you got caught up on my story! Ha, I agree- I'd spar with Eric any day if that is the outcome!

zammy156 chapter - Yeah, but the thing with Eric, is he has problems with giving in and that is definitely what he would be doing if he went after Paz. Because that is definitely what she wants!

Gw82 - Thanks and I don't know how you guys do it! If I was reading a story like this, the tension would kill me!

Guest - Ha! Glad you like Roman. I didn't even know I was going to include him but Paz wanted someone to screw..with Eric's head. He has an iron-clad hold on his restraint but Paz has no trouble pushing that.

Friggatriskaidekaphobia - I'm glad! Thanks for reviewing!

binderya22 - Speechless? Awesome! And yes, you aren't the only one to think their tension is wild! ;)

_And last but never least, a big thank you to those of you that fav/followed my story!_

Tinselr8, ZrH221, starlightning0, rachel1819, ktlv, BexMoore and binderya22

Just remember- it is now official, a Review _**will**_ equal a Preview!


	11. Chapter 11 - Stage 3 (pt 2) & Decisions

A/N: Disclaimer: I don't own the Divergent world. I only own Pazia. (Pronounced: Pah-ze-ah.) All outfits are on my profile. This story is set after Four and Eric became Dauntless but the year before Tris became Dauntless.

**_Rating:_** _M_

**_Word_**_** Count:** 8, 116_

**Chapter Eleven**

* * *

_**Previously on Battle Scars:**_

_"I have feelings for you." I whisper brokenly, clicking the safety off the gun. "But I am not in love with you. Maybe one day though." I laugh a sob, tears burning in my eyes and a tear in my heart. "One day. I'm sorry. Good bye, Eric."_

_And I pull the trigger._

* * *

_In seconds, I am in a corridor. _

_I walk cautiously down the hall but it seems deserted. There is a single red door at the end of the hallway. A low, ominous hissing is coming from the door. Dread forms in my chest, my heart beating faster as I stare wide eyed at the door. I could run away...or I can face it. I take a deep breath and glance down at my snake tattoo, running a gentle finger over it and drawing strength. Then I start walking. _

_The nearer I get to the door, the louder the hissing gets. Finally, I am right in front of it. _

_I take a deep breath and slowly reach out a hand and open the door. The hissing stops and I pause. I draw strength from my tattoo, pressing a hand to my heart. It thuds frantically and I widen my eyes, stepping forward and shutting the door behind me. I walk farther into the room, quiet pants filling the silence. _

_ Something slithers over my foot and I flinch, tears burning in my eyes. I tremble from head to toe but bravely continue on. I know when I have reached the center of the room because the lights shoot on. I wince, holding in a scream as several large serpents drop down on my shoulders. _

_I freeze, fear growing in my heart. _

_They slither over my head and twine all around me. I flick my gaze around the room, looking for a way out. I spot it but it is covered in snakes. I whimper but slowly start moving in the direction. The snakes hiss angrily but I don't stop. I slowly and carefully reach the door and slowly kneel down. I reach out a trembling hand, my heart in my throat._

_My hand connects with cold steel and I flinch, expecting one of the snakes to lash out. But they don't and I slip away._

_I find myself in the Erudite courtyard. _

_Kids are laughing and playing and I move slowly to a bench, pulling out my lunch. This is an actual memory from when I was a little girl. _

_I eat my sandwich happily before pulling out my sunflower seeds. I happily munch on a couple, a small bird landing and watching me curiously. I giggle and toss it a seed, watching delighted as it pecks it open and eats the small seed inside. A couple more land and I toss a couple for them too._

_But then I don't want to share anymore._

_I munch on my treat, ignoring the small birds as they hop closer. Then they attack. I scream as their tiny sharp beaks tear into my soft skin. I cry out, trying to get rid of the little things. I flail around, little trickles of blood runnig down my face and arms. In my hand, I still have the seeds._

_I have a problem letting go and I didn't then. _

_Tears stream down my face and I fling the seeds far away, hugging Jett and crying. He hugs me back and then fades away._

_I wake up in the dorm room._

_I look around, breathing easier when I see the sleeping forms around me. I sit up in bed ad trudge to the bathroom. I enter and frown when I see I am in the Pit, surrounded by Dauntless members. They watch me with disgust and shake their heads. _

_I look up at Eric as he strides forward. _

_"You are not Dauntless. You don't deserve to be here. You are now cast out to be Factionless." Eric says coldly and I flinch back in horror. _

_"But- I proved I am Dauntless." I say strongly and he sneers._

_"Wrong. You proved you don't belong here. You don't belong anywhere." He says with a cold sense of finality. Tears well in my eyes but I raise my chin, squaring my shoulders. _

_"I do belong here. And if you can't see that, then it is your loss." I turn and sweep my gaze imperiously around the room one last time, then I leave with my head held high. The scene shifts a little and I am walking at the Chasm and Dauntless are in front and behind me. They watch me darkly and crack their knuckles. _

_Fear shivers through me but I have never backed down before. This time, I will stare death in the eye and laugh._

_They silently rush at me and I whirl into motion. I dodge and punch and kick ferociously. Blood runs down my face and pain radiates all over my body but I refuse to stop fighting. I shout and scream, blood pouring out of wounds as I snap necks, break arms and fight to survive. _

_I scream as my arm snaps but bare my teeth angrily, spitting blood into their eyes and head butting Ander._

_"I. Will. Not. Submit!" I shout, stumbling as a fist slams into my face. Dazed, I stare up at Eric, who grins darkly. _

_"You submit to me._ Remember?_ In the maze- " he steps closer as I stare at him with wide, dark eyes. "- in the tunnel. In your dreams. In the fighting ring. In the shooting range. On the couch." He reels off and lunges forward, grabbing my hair and ripping me to my feet. "So why not now?" He asks and pulls me into a violating kiss. I struggle frantically against him, tears streaming down my face. I slam my fist in the side of his head and he staggers to the side, roaring pain. _

_"Because you aren't him, you sick bastard!" I shout and he turns, glaring at me. _

_"Who? Your precious Jett?" He snarls, advancing on me. "I see the way you look at him! We all do! And when you snuggle up to him- it makes me sick!" He shouts and I close my eyes, shaking my head as a tear rolls down my cheek._

_"You don't mean that. Jett and I- we are us. It has always been us against the world. He is mine and I am his..but not like I could be yours. You just have to reach for it, want it bad enough." I sigh and climb to my feet. I face him head on, defiance strong in my cobalt blue gaze. "And when I said 'him', I meant the _real _Eric. So go ahead! I'm not afraid to die. Not anymore! I have lived and if it's my time to go, then so be it. But you can be damn certain that I will take as many people with me as I can." With that said, I lunge at him and fling us into the waiting Chasm below._

_The whole way down, I laugh until the water steals my last breath._

And then I am awake.

I lay alone in the dank room. I take a deep breath...and it feels amazing. I have faced my fears and emerged on the other side. I feel new and free because I did it. My fears didn't take me down. They didn't stop me. In the end, all they did was make me stronger. A large smile spreads across my face and I slip out of the chair, a new confidence in my posture and peace and pride gleaming in my eyes. I wipe the tears gently off my face, and it feels like I am wiping away all that made me weak.

The door opens and the five leaders stride in.

"Congratulations Paz. You have passed your last evaluation." Max grins at me and I grin back, a laugh escaping me as I lunge forward and wrap him in a hug.

"Thank you so much." I say and back away, my new confidence apparent in everything I do. I turn to the rest of the leaders and nod to them but unlike last time, this is more of a nod between equals. Because I have no plans of being a Wall guard. I will request either Trainer, Tattoo, or Border Patrol. Like Jett.

At the thought of him, a larger smile spreads across my face and I whirl around, ripping the door open. And there he is. Laughing, I race forward and slam into his waiting arms. He wraps his arms around my waist and laughs into my neck as he spins us.

"You made it." He laughs, tears gleaming in his eyes.

"I know. I know!" I laugh back and he shakes his head, setting me down and sliding a hand on my cheek.

"No, Paz. You. Made. It. You had the fastest time. You are first. You did it." He tells me and I stare for a moment before a wide grin spreads across my face and I start laughing. Jett laughs with me pulling me into another hug. We laugh together until my laughter turns to sobs and Jett holds me tighter as we rock from side to side.

"I did it." I look up at him with wet eyes. "Jett. There was a sim." I bite my lip and look away. "With you, mom and...Eric. I had to shoot two. I could only save one-" He smiles down at me and brushes my hair back, sweeping his thumb over my cheek.

"It's okay Paz. I understand-" I shake my head, looking at him with wide eyes.

"No. You don't. Because in the end...I chose you." I whisper and blank shock shows in his eyes. I give him a small smile and press a kiss to his cheek. "In the end, I always choose you." I say softly and turn, walking over to my group. They swarm around me and I laugh and cheer with them as we race down the stairs and stream back to the Pit.

I sit down with them and marvel that this will be my last day.

From here on out, I will be a full member of Dauntless. I will belong to a Faction. And I choose Dauntless. Every time. Someone starts passing a bottle around and I take a gulp as it passes by before handing it off to Ellie. Together, our group laughs and messes around. All I know, is at one point, I had someone in a headlock.

At another point, I slipped away to the tattoo parlor and got another tattoo. This one is on the outside of my right arm and it says one word: _overcome._ I truly earned it. I overcame all of my fears. I joined my group again, gauze over my latest tattoo and they eyed it curiously but didn't remark on it. We don't sit nervously, instead we are loud and bold...and Dauntless.

I laugh crazily with my group, a radiant expression on my face as I belong.

Somehow, through the complete chaos, I hear the sound of banging. I turn and my group follows my lead, quieting down and facing forward as Max stops slamming a bat against the railing and grins.

"Initiates! When you first arrived here, you were so weak and scared. After months of training, you have proven yourselves. Body, Heart and Soul. Here in Dauntless, we are the warriors. We defend the weak. _We live_. We do what we want and live life to the fullest because for us, our life can be gone in seconds. I commend you for having the bravery to choose this life. You truly are Dauntless. I give you, your rankings! And Dauntless is proud. Now let's party!" He shouts and the sound that rocks the Pit is unlike anything I have ever heard or felt before.

The walls vibrate as they stamp their feet and cheer. The noise impossibly gets louder and it reaches deep into my soul. I look around at my fellow initiates and we nod to each other before looking at the board.

**Stage Three Rankings**

**1 - Paz**

**2 - Ellie**

**3 - Raza**

**4 - Ander**

**5 - Tabby**

**6 - Zander**

**7 - Sam**

**8 - Dean**

**9 - Izzy**

**10 - Sasha**

**11 - Misty**

**12 - Mike**

**13 - Ty**

**14- Violette**

**15 - Blade**

**16 - Andy**

**17 - Raven**

**18 - Emily**

**19 - Howard**

**20 - Jon**

* * *

**21 - Sandra**

**22 - Razor**

**23 - Josh**

**24 - Taylor**

I briefly scan the list, grinning when I see that Ellie and I are the top two.

And then the real party begins. We all let loose in a way we haven't before, now that we no longer have to worry about being cut. We dance together, laughing and stumbling. Raza twirls me and I laugh, throwing my head back as I remember the other time I was drunk like this. Raza grins down at me and twirls me away. I crash into a warm chest and I know without looking it is Jett. He settles his hands on my waist and we dance for a little while.

I pull back, grinning and throwing my arms above my head, jumping with the sound of the deep bass rumbling through the Pit. Jett grins at me, bobbing his head as we dance and I laugh, pulling him into another hug. He pulls me closer, dropping a kiss to the top of my head. I reach to pull off the necklace and he shakes his head.

"Keep it." He whispers in my ear. "You gave it to me when I needed it and now I am giving it to you, full of my strength." I smile at the silver phoenix and look up at him adoringly.

"I don't know what I would have done without you." I tell him and he runs a hand down my temple, tucking my hair behind an ear and cupping my cheek.

"You would have dominated the competition. Just like you did. You amaze me sometimes with how strong you can be." Jett tells me and grin up at him, catching sight of Lyrica over my shoulder. I take Jett's hand and lead him over to her. She watches me warily, her eyes dropping to our hands clasped together. I step forward, tugging Jett with me and give her his hand. He wraps an arm around her shoulders, smiling happily at her.

A small pang hits me when I see the love in his eyes for her but I don't let it affect me.

"He's yours. I'll try to back off some. I know how it can be watching someone you care about hang all over someone else but you have to remember- Jett and I are best friends and have been for most of our lives." I tell her and Lyrica nods, wrapping an arm around his waist, some of her ferocity melting away as she locks eyes with him. I smile happily for two of them and turn and walk back to my group.

I steal a bottle, taking another drink and climbing on the table.

"To Dauntless!" I shout and get my cheer echoed as I start to dance on the table, pulling a laughing Ellie up with me. We dance happily, swaying together and tossing our hair. Time passes by in a blur as we let loose and party happily, passing the drinks around.

"Let's play Most Likely!" Ander shouts and we give a resounding cheer back while Ellie just looks confused.

"What's that?" She asks and I sling an arm over her shoulders.

"You poor innocent dove." I coo. "It's a drinking game. Someone says for example: Most Likely to pass out while zip lining and however many people are pointing at you, you have to take the same amount of drinks. Now!" I raise my voice as everyone gatherers around. Most Likely to smoke a joint!" I shout and we all point at Sam, a known smoker. He sneers at us, taking 19 drinks of his whisky. I laugh, leaning on Ellie's side as we continue. At this point, I have had several drinks but my alcohol tolerance us much better than it was all those weeks ago.

"Most Likely to make out with a Dauntless Leader!" Ellie shouts and everyone points at me.

"Hey! Traitor!" I shout, hitting her shoulder. She winces but the shit-eating grin refuses to fade from her face. I roll my eyes and take 19 shots of vodka, the liquid spreading warm and making me giggle happily. "Enough of this game. Let's play...Medusa!" I shout and we all gather into a circle, chanting to 10 and then looking up. "Medusa!" I shout, taking a deep swig from my drink when my eyes meet Raza's. He laughs wildly, doing the same.

We reset and chant to ten again. I look up and cheer when I am not looking at anyone. Ellie reluctantly takes a drink, making eyes at Ander, who is watching her with a heated look. I raise an eyebrow and reach across the table to slap Raza on the shoulder. He looks at the two and grins. I giggle with him behind my hand.

"Who wants to play Cup Swap?!" Zander shouts and we cheer back. We fill up cups so everyone has one full cup and one empty cup and a spoon. "Ready! Set! Go!" He shouts and we all hurry to try and move as much liquid from the one cup to the empty cup. I only have it halfway when the time goes off but in my drunken world, that doesn't matter. We all cheer and raise our glasses when time runs out, drinking the rest of the alcohol in the cups, regardless of whether or not we were supposed to.

The rest of the night progresses hazily but I remember at one point, my group was lead away one by one to be shown where their new apartment was located until it was just me and Raza. Eric was the one who came to get me with Four to get Raza. By the time they found us, we were taking shots tequila shots.

I had been licking the salt off of Raza's neck when they walked up and I could practically see Eric killing Raza dozens of different ways. I cheered drunkenly when they arrived, swaying against Raza.

"You guys are really drunk." Four says with amusement and I nod happily as he swings Raza's arm over his shoulder. "Try not to do anything too stupid." Four tells me, glancing pointedly at Eric and I grin happily at him.

"Bye, Four!" I coo happily, waving as he helps a stumbling Raza away. I turn back to my drink and take another deep pull and cough as the bottle is pulled away from me. "Hey!" I whine, pouting sadly. Eric sighs, gesturing for me to get up.

"Come on Paz. I need to show you to your room." He says impatiently and I pout but get up, swaying crazily as I stumble in a random direction. Eric strides after me, taking my shoulder and turning me in a different direction. After almost killing a few people with my drunken stumbling, Eric sighs and then my world tilts crazily.

I realize he picked me up and is carrying me through the crowds. I sigh, suddenly sleepy and let my head drop onto his broad shoulder. Eric glances down at me, and I smile sleepily up at him. He rolls his eyes but I detect a softening in his facial features. We pass by the red-head and I stick my tongue out at her and giggle at the outraged shout. Eric snickers too as we exit the Pit. He sets me down on my feet and steadies me as I stumble.

"Try to memorize the way to your room." He orders as we set off. We go along the way towards Jett and Roman's rooms and when Eric stiffens, I realize I said that out loud. He doesn't comment but anger is dark in his blue eyes and his muscles ripple angrily while his strides lengthen.

I stumble along with him, too drunk to feel bad about slipping that comment out.

We reach tunnel with doors on either side and Eric continues past them, all the way to the end where the last door is a little apart from the others. He unlocks the door and enters, me following wobbly behind him. I stumble in and lean on the door frame, sliding down and resting against the door.

Eric turns and I see his boots before he crouches down and I can see his face as his brawny body looms over me.

"You are really drunk." He states and I nod pathetically. In my drunken mind, I see a smile before it is gone and I am being scooped up. We go into another room and Eric drops me on the bed. I bounce from the impact and then curl up. "You need to get into your pajamas." He tries telling me but I bury my head under my pillow. He sighs and tugs me away from it, helping me stand up.

"I wanna shower." I mumble, another yawn splitting my face. He stares down at me before scooping me up and taking me into another room. I sway as he sets me down, giggling as he turns the water on. I try to climb in with my clothes still on and he catches me around the waist.

"You need to get naked first." He says huskily in my ear and my body gives an instant reaction. I whimper, my inhibitions lowered with the help of the alcohol. Eric stiffens against my back and I turn, raising my arms, showing him the silver zipper. I shiver under his heated gaze as he slowly lowers it. I slip my arms out and let it slip down my body, revealing my tattoos and leaving me in only boots and panties.

His jaw clenches as his eyes run slowly down my form. I shiver in response, his eyes snapping back up to mine as I step out of the jumpsuit completely. I sit down on the toilet and hold out my leg, cocking my head to the side. He unzips my boot and slips it off my foot with the sock and does the same with the other leg. His hand is warm on my legs and I can feel that all-too-familiar heat start up.

He smirks slowly at me, helping me stand up as he rests his hands on my waist. I take deep breaths, my eyes wide on his as his hands slowly slide my panties down my legs. I step out of them and he tosses them to the side as he unzips his jacket and shrugs out of it. He unbuckles his belt and my eyes fall to where his hands unzip his pants. My eyes dart back up to his as he steps out of his jeans and pulls his shirt over his eyes.

My greedy eyes scan his body.

His broad shoulders are all muscle and make me feel small but powerful at the same time. His block tattoos trail all the way down his chest and my eyes linger on the v his muscles make. His stomach is rock hard abs and I bite my lip, want racing through me. Eric steps forward, herding me backwards until my heels hit the edge of the tub. He lifts me by my waist into the shower and then climbs in with me.

The water runs down the both of us, our bodies gleaming with the liquid. Eric grabs the soap and slowly starts washing me. I tremble against him as his hands travel all over, soaping me me and then rubbing me clean. His fingers linger at my neck, grasping my waist and brushing against the parts I desperately want him to claim.

"Eric.." I plead and laughter rumbles in his chest as I look at him from under my eyelashes.

"Not while you are drunk. When we have sex, you will be fully aware and nothing will be able to steal it from your memory." He whispers huskily in my ear and I moan, leaning against his chest. Our bare chests press together and a low whine slips out as my nipples rub against his chest. Eric groans, clamping his hands down on my waist.

"_Fuck._" He says lowly and I nod weakly against him. "We need to get out." He says and I nod again but neither of us move until I climb shakily out of the shower. He towels me dry almost roughly but I know it is because it takes every bit of his restraint to not bend me over and fuck me til I know no name but his. He slips a shirt over my head and as it settles on my frame, I realize it is his shirt at the same time he does.

His obvious erection bulges in his boxers and he turns away, a few muffled curses slipping out of his gritted teeth. I step slowly forward, pressing against his back and slipping my fingers over his abs, down his front and into his pants. He tenses, bracing his arms against the wall and widening his stance. I grip the base and stroke up and down, tugging gently on his throbbing length as the heat grows between my legs. His stomach tightens as I repeat the motion and he whirls around, claiming my mouth.

His tongue sweeps in, caressing mine as he backs me against the wall. Eric's hands move down to my butt where he clenches his hands, causing me to arch against him and moan into his mouth. Eric grins briefly before our mouths lock together again. I clench my fists in his hair as he angles our mouths so he can kiss me deeper.

Then he is pulling back and gently setting me on my feet, turning away.

I watch him get dressed as I pant for breath. He zips up his jacket and walks out of the bathroom. I follow him, still dazed and he stops at the door, scooping me up and dropping me in the bed.

"Get some sleep, Paz. You are gonna need it." Then he is gone and I am left in my bed all by myself.

**XXX**

When I wake the next morning, I have a pounding headache my mouth tastes disgusting. I moan a little and crawl out of bed, the motion making nauseous and I clap a hand over my mouth, racing to the bathroom.

An hour later I make my way to the Pit and slump down on the bench with my friends.

"I am never drinking again!" I mumble, hiding my face in my arms and Ander snickers.

"You want some food?" He asks and shoves a piece of egg at me. I gag at the smell and he gives full-blown laughter. I glare tiredly at him and hide my face in my arms again. "Asswipe." I mumble and he snickers some more.

"How is it you still look amazing, even when you are hungover?" Ellie grumbles, her copper hair sticking out all over and sleep lines on half of her face. "Your hair is still glossy and amazing in your side braid. Your face is clear and the butterfly tapes over your cut on your cheekbone only makes you look fierce. Your eyes have that smoky thing going. And even though you only have on ripped jeans, combat boots and a baggy sweater, you still look amazing." She complains and I laugh a little before wincing at the sound. I shrug, my sweater slipping off a shoulder.

"It's a talent." I tell her seriously. "But it took me forever to figure it out. After Jett and I got drunk, we couldn't leave any signs so we managed to figure out a way to look normal." I explain, ignoring her shocked look. I normally don't talk about my past. At all.

"Huh. Cheater." Ellie huffs and I smile, laying my head back down on the table.

"Want some?" Raza whispers and I turn to him. His hair is all wild and the bags under his eyes tell how little sleep he got but all I focus on is the chocolate cake he is holding out. I grab it and use a fork to slowly eat it. As I eat, I slowly uncurl; chocolate making me feel better.

"Thanks." I tell him, humming in contentment as I finish the last of it. He nods absently, his eyes focused somewhere else. I see the pain flash over his face for a moment and then he looks away. Confused, I follow his gaze to Izzy and Sam kissing. I raise an eyebrow and nudge his shoulder. He fakes a smile, the hidden pain in his eyes tugging my heart. "You are an amazing guy and any girl would be lucky to have you." I tell him seriously and he nods, a sad smile on his handsome face.

"Thanks, baby girl." He presses a small kiss to my temple as I pull away and I nod.

"Pazia?" I turn and face Angel, the Dauntless leader. She has really pretty blonde hair with streaks of green and yellow in it that match her hazel eyes.

"It's Paz." I correct and she raises an eyebrow but lets it slide.

"Right then, Paz. Follow me." She orders and strides away. I stare after her with narrowed eyes for a moment and Ellie makes a cat noise. I shoot her a mock glare before sauntering slowly after Angel with a smirk. I don't do orders. I _give _them. Angel waits impatiently by the doors as I smoothly strut past, my head high and an arrogant gleam in my eyes. She narrows her eyes at me but doesn't comment, striding up one of the paths that line the Pit.

I follow at a more sedate pace, content to force her to wait for me every time we have to go up stairs or turn a corner. Right now, I am stretching this out as much as possible. We finally reach a door and she strides through, muttering angrily under her breath. I look around curiously, this is the farthest up I have ever been. It is higher than the fear scape room.

"Pazia!" Angel barks angrily from the room and I can't stop the shit-eating grin from surfacing. I move closer and lean against the door frame.

"You called?" I drawl, raising a mocking eyebrow. She glares angrily at me as I do my best to ignore Eric's brawny frame sitting behind the panel.

"Sit down." She snaps, gesturing to a chair in front of the panel. I slowly comply, sauntering confidently to the chair, spinning it around and straddling it. Sienna snickers behind a hand, her green eyes glinting with amusement and I smirk at her playfully as I rest my arms on the back of the chair. Angel strides angrily to her seat behind the panel and sits down, glaring at me. I meet her gaze, a teasing sparkle in my eyes that only serves to infuriate her even more.

"Now that you are here." Max begins, lifting his tablet and swiping the screen. The images fly off and hover in the space between my chair and the panel. My scores for the three stages hover in the air with little notes about me. I narrow my eyes and tilt my head to the side, nibbling on my two lip rings. "This is our evaluation of you. In Stage One, you were in the middle of the pack for a while until the Initiate Battles began. Then you plummeted to the bottom, where you stayed for the next week and half. Then you and the other initiates visited the Wall and did some work. When you come back, you rose quickly through the ranks." Max pauses and raises an eyebrow at me. I smile sweetly back and shrug a bare shoulder.

"What can I say? I found my fire." I say as innocently as possible, the wicked glint in my eyes giving lie to my words. Max rolls his eyes, used to Dauntless insolence.

"I'm sure you did." He says sarcastically and I don't hold back my short bark of laughter. "Then there was the War Games. Your team won and I was informed by Four that it was largely because of you. You took charge, named the place to hide your flag and came up with the strategy. Four said he didn't have to do a thing." Max says. "And that is high praise coming from Four." Max informs me and I beam proudly, my features lighting up.

"Remind me to thank him when we are done here." I tell them, a gleeful smirk twisting my lips.

"After the War Games, your position at slot 3 was steady. You didn't rise or fall in the ranks. And thus ended Stage One." Max notes, nodding to Sienna.

"Thanks Max." She grins roughly and I perk up, getting the feeling Sienna is pretty cool. "So we start off with Stage Two where once again, you plummet to the bottom. You did make a few leaps through the ranks but then held steady at slot 12. Then we introduced the extra classes for the initiates and you excelled at them. We make note that you have talent with our trucks and Jethro tells us you are almost restoring one that was thought to be 'a hunk of junk." She quotes and I grin, nodding enthusiastically.

"Yeah, I've almost finished. I have to run a few more tests, especially to ensure I installed the master cylinder properly. The coolant system on the other hand is working pretty damn awesome. I'm gonna be able to start doing the frame work soon." I reel off and Sienna raises a hand.

"I have no fucking clue what half of the shit you said meant so I'm gonna take your word for it." She says and I laugh again, my eyes light as I lean casually against the chair. "After the extra classes started, your score of 12 held steady and then you slowly started moving up in the ranks, in a way that most aren't able to. Once again, Four made note that you worked through your fears one at time so that they wouldn't overwhelm you and that is partially why your rise through the ranks was so slow. And then there was your...altercation with my fellow Leader, Eric. Despite the fact that a fight like that was extremely inappropriate, you did not receive a punishment but rather a boost in your rankings because of the way you held your own in a fight that others would have crumpled under." Sienna says, her voice just a little bit impressed.

"The pain doesn't get to me. I can work through it or I _would_ have crumpled." I explain, a slightly frosty edge to my voice; warning them to not ask questions.

"Regardless, it was impressive. Equally impressive was your fast rise through the ranks afterwards. Not only were you holding the first slot in all of Eric's classes, Jethro's class and Tori's (which you enrolled into late) but you claimed Rank 2, just behind a close friend of yours. There was a note that you had relations with a Dauntless soldier, Roman Pierce." Here Sienna pauses but I don't volunteer information so she continues. "Through all of this, we have continued to note that regardless of the ranking, your fellow initiates- Dauntless born and Transfer alike- look to you as their leader. It did not go unnoticed the other day when Four stopped by your table to collect the three lowest ranking initiates that they looked to you first and only leaving after you gave them the go ahead." Sienna finishes and I grin with pride, a dark look falling over my eyes as I remember my three lost members. Taylor is growing weaker and I fear she is going to die soon. Eric picks up his tablet, distracting me and I realize he is next.

"In the third and final stage, you had 14 fears. That is the lowest of all of the initiates. You moved through your fears swiftly and though you faltered a few times, you overcame all of them." His eyes darken and I shiver. "And initiate, should you ever think about shooting me or tossing me in the Chasm again, I will be forced to punish you." He growls out and though it is meant to be a threat, my body doesn't take it that way.

"Do you promise?" I tease with a sultry smile and he narrows his eyes at me, clenching his jaw. The other Leaders exchange amused and surprised looks when his only reaction is rolling his eyes and sitting down. Angel rolls her eyes and moves forward to speak next.

"You're arrogant and proud, flaunting yourself. You are a better shot than most but not the best. You handle a dagger like you were born with one in hand. You have talent at hand-to-hand combat and your leadership skills are good. All Dauntless traits. Conner is going to tell you the positions that would be best for someone like you. I would advise you take his suggestions." Angel says bitterly and I can tell she isn't pleased at my offers. I grin mockingly at her, snickering when her glare intensifies. Conner stands up, his short stature made up for with the bulging arm muscles, flirty amber eyes and shaggy brown hair. He flashes a charming grin and I smile back. Eric growls and sits up in his seat, crossing his muscled pecs.

"Any day now, Conner." He grinds out, blue eyes fierce and I tear my gaze away from Conner to eye Eric. He refuses to look at me, instead locking an intimidating glare on his fellow Dauntless Leader.

"Relax! I'm getting to the beautiful initiates offers." He teases, winking at me and I laugh playfully. Eric's shoulders stiffen and I am inwardly dancing around at getting him to be jealous enough to act possessive in front of the other Dauntless Leaders. "So first, you have been extended an offer to work in the Mechanics Unit. It is noted that even if you don't choose it as your official line of work, you are still welcome to go back and work with them." I grin, perking up happily. "Second, you have been offered a job in the tattoo parlor, _Ink and Shit_. Tori herself gave the recommendation. She also says that if you don't choose the job, you can still sketch in the DR(?)-" He pauses, confused and I smirk smugly, my expression teasingly vague, knowing she means the Drawing Room. "-and will be allowed to ink yourself/other people but you will have to have a supervisor." I nod contemplatively. "You have also been given an offer from the Med Unit." He says, sounding completely and utterly confused, I roll my eyes; fighting a smile.

"I made the mistake of catching Doc with a patient that had a dislocated shoulder. Poor kid popped it out trying to jump off the train before he was old enough to learn. I calmed him down and popped it back in and it took half the time it normally takes Doc. He kept raving about how amazing I would be at that job." I explain, amusement in my eyes. Conner nods, raising an eyebrow but continues.

"You have an offer put in for Trainer for next year. That would involve training the kids and basically doing what Four and Eric have done for you." A sly smirk settles on my mouth as my gaze falls on Eric. I doubt they want me treating the kids the way Eric has me. Conner glances between the two of us, catching on. "Actually, you would treat the kids like younger siblings. Definitely not like how it was for you." Eric stiffens and I can't stop a small giggle from slipping out as Conner rolls his eyes. "Then you have an offer for Border Patrol." I perk up, visions of me and Jett patrolling together flashing in my mind. "Because of your high rank, you would be in charge of your patrol in your assigned area." Conner informs me and I nod avidly, prepared to give them my answer but he isn't done speaking yet. "And finally, you are being offered a Dauntless-Leader-in-training position." My mouth snaps shut, my teeth clicking against each other.

Well then.

This throws all of my plans in disarray.

**XXX**

"Hey Paz!" Ellie chirps happily, bouncing into the room. I raise a hand in greeting, and then start punching the bag again.

She wraps her fists and I join her on the mat as we circle each other.

"How was it?" I ask Ellie and she grins happily, throwing a punch that I block and return.

"Everything that I hoped it would be! I have chosen to the ambassador between Amity and Dauntless and then a part time tattoo artist." Ellie chirps, confidence in her body language. "What about you?" She asks, sweeping a low kick at me that I hop over and return.

"I had multiple offers. I am going to turn down the offers for Mechanical Unit and Tattoo artist because they both said I could still come around if I didn't take the job. I just won't get paid for doing it, which is fine. I am also going to turn down the offer for Med Unit, because-" I snort. "-that shit just isn't me." Ellie nods, dodging my uppercut and returning with a tackle. I hit the ground with a grunt as we grapple. "And...then- shit, watch the elbow!" I snap, wincing as it hits the cut on my face.

"Sorry." Ellie says apologetically but resumes wrestling. "You were...saying?" She asks, grunting as I flip us over.

"I am torn...between Border Patrol..." I twist her arm behind her back and sit on her. "...Trainer and Dauntless-Leader-in-training." I finish and Ellie freezes, a small squeak escaping her.

"You got Dauntless-Leader-in-training?!" She squeals and I roll off her back, laying beside her and staring up at the ceiling.

"Yup. But the problem is, I have always seen myself leading a Patrol somewhere. Not leading an entire Faction. I never thought I would be chosen for the job. But they said that they noticed how everyone in our group responds to me as the leader." I sigh, turning my head to look at her. "But I love the appeal of training a new batch of soldiers for my new Faction." I groan and curl into a ball. "What am I going to do?" I whine and Ellie laughs, climbing up and holding out a hand to me.

"What you always do. Think it over like a Erudite and apply it flawlessly like a Dauntless." She says simply, shrugging and I nod, unwrapping my fists and slipping my shoes back on.

"Thanks Els." I tell her as we leave and she grins over at me.

"Don't mention it."

**XXX**

"-and I think Ander is going to choose either Border Patrol or-" Ellie freezes and I automatically look up to see what has caught her attention.

"What?" I ask and she doesn't have to say anything. We exchange glances and continue through the tunnel, watching the Dauntless gathered around the Chasm curiously. I glimpse a foot and dread starts to stir in my heart. We push our way through the crowd and Eric looks up, sorrow flashing in his eyes for a moment before it is gone. He rises to his feet and steps towards Ellie and I.

"You shouldn't see this." He says, his voice with an edge of softness to it.

"What is it?" I ask dimly, Ellie clutching my arm as she looks at the body. Eric hesitates, looking between the two of us. "Eric! What the hell is it?" I snap and he clenches his jaw, running a rough hand through his blond hair and stepping to the side. My eyes fall on his face and my brain won't let me believe it. I withdraw into myself and it is like I am taking a backseat in my brain, looking through a tunnel. I hear a piercing scream and frantic shouts and I am just numb.

Josh's blank green eyes are cloudy and blank.

His body is waterlogged and pruny and- I gag, stumbling away. Ellie and Eric follow me.

"Izzy!" I gasp, remembering Josh is her brother. I moan with sorrow. "Oh, I should have saved him!" I cry out, rocking back and forth. Ellie wraps an arm around me and I break down, sobbing into her shoulder. Sorrow for the lost life of our best friend resonates within me and I cry for the life he lost.

"He jumped." Eric says and I shake my head violently, raising my head.

"No. He didn't. Josh would never." I respond strongly through the tears in my voice.

"He was in the bottom 4, Paz." Eric says softly as Ellie slips away to get Izzy. I stiffen. Josh was an excellent fighter and he should have dominated Stage One. He faced his fears head-on. He was the perfect Dauntless. So why were his rankings so low? Why would someone want to kill him? Confusion fills me and it mixes with a sorrowful rage. I should have noticed this sooner. I should have protected him. My shoulders shake as I realize that. I didn't save him. I start crying silently, my eyes locked on Josh's forever silent form.

I will never see his soft green eyes. Never again playfully spar. We won't get to ride the train together.

_-I'm Josh.-_

He won't joke around anymore.

_-Smell it Izzy!-_

I won't ever see him bounding through the tunnels, laughing and joking around with Izzy and Zander. He is just...gone. Tears are dragged from deep in my heart as I cry until I am gasping for breath. A hand rests on my shoulder and I throw myself forward, crying desperately into Eric's shirt. I grasp it with both hands, my whole body shaking with the force of my tears.

He stands there, steady and strong in my time of weakness.

I can't stop my tears or my cries from ripping out of my chest.

"NO! Joshie!" Izzy's desperate cry resonates in my ears and I hurry over to her. She flings herself at me and we crumple together, crying our hearts out. Zander barrels to us, seeing his best friends body and tears appear in his blue-green eyes. We drown in tears, holding onto each other, willing him to come back to life.

"No. Josh." He bows his head, tears streaking down his face. We wait but Josh never rolls to his feet, a radiant smirk on his face. His green and black hair is dark and wet and he won't ever complain about it getting messed up in training. Josh is never going to joke around and laugh with us. Josh is gone. And we won't ever get him back.

We stay there, leaning on each other and crying for the longest time.

Eventually though, someone catches my attention.

"I need you to come to the Med Unit." Doc says tiredly and I look blankly at him. "It's your friend. Taylor." He says and I scramble to my feet, racing to the Med Unit.

No. No. No. Please, no more death.

I race into the room just in time for them to pull the white sheet over her head and I crumple to the floor, gasping for breath.

"Taylor!" I scream, crying desperately and lunging at them. "Get away from her!" I shout angrily and an arm catches me around my waist.

"Paz. Please, calm the fuck down. Please." Eric whispers in my ear and I just go limp.

"They're all dead." I choke out and twist in his arms, sobbing into his neck. He pauses for a moment before his arms tighten around me and he sits down in a chair, cradling me in his arms. "They died." I cry. "Why?" I plead and he just holds me, letting me cry myself out. And I do. After the deep gasping breaths are gone, all I can do is softly cry. My heart bleeds for my friends and I don't know how to stay strong. The whole time, Eric just holds me. He let's me get the tears out of my system and when I pull away, he lets go; knowing I am strong enough.

I stand, feeling fragile and delicate.

My hair is loose and falling around my face, making me look young and childlike. My eyes are wide and dark with tears and my lips are set in a sad pout. I rub the back of my hand over my cheek, scrubbing at the tears. Eric runs his fingers down my jaw and I close my eyes; nuzzling his palm as he catches a stray tear.

"Come on." He holds out his hand and I take it, leaning on him. We walk through the tunnels and they seem unnaturally quiet. We enter the Pit and Eric lets go of my hand. My group crowds around me, tears in their eyes and staining their faces. I accept their hugs as we share our comfort and strength. We hold hands and sit at the table, huddled together as Eric steps up to speak.

"Dauntless has suffered the loss of two people today. Josh, a Dauntless born and Taylor, the Transfer that saved our Leader Max's life in a Factionless raid. Josh jumped into the Chasm in a display of bravery that few of us possess and Taylor finally slipped away. She died of a gunshot and she fought for life until the very end. These two individuals are everything Dauntless should strive to be. Strong. Fearless. Brave. And we celebrate their lives. Tonight we celebrate Josh and tomorrow, Taylor. To Dauntless! To Josh! To Taylor!" Eric shouts and the Dauntless pick up the chant.

"Dauntless! Josh! Taylor!" And they stamp their feet in a display of ferocity that few ever get the chance to see. Our group sits and watches, tears burning in our eyes as a picture of Josh is shown on the wall. I let out a sob, crying into Izzy's shoulder as she cries into mine. We cry together, heads side by side and hands clasped together.

Someone nudges us with a bottle and we accept it with watery thanks. I turn to Izzy and break the seal.

"We celebrate Josh today. And figure out why this happened tomorrow. To Josh." I raise my glass in toast and Izzy echos me, tears in our eyes as we swallow the liquid.

"Remember the time Josh refused to fight you?" Zander asks Izzy quietly and she nods, taking another gulp.

"He was knocked down a rank because of it!" Izzy laughs tearfully, beautiful amber eyes dark with sadness. Sam wraps an arm around her shoulders and she leans into her boyfriend.

"Remember the first night we got here?" I ask, taking a drink. "He was shoving your face in his armpit." I say quietly and she nods, wiping away a tear.

"Yeah. I hated it when he did that. And now he won't ever again." Izzy says, her face crumbling as she sobs in Sam's shoulder. Tears stream down all of our faces as we remember our friend. For the night, all we do is talk about Josh. We bring up his annoying moments and his happy ones.

To Josh.

May he live on in our memories forever.

* * *

You guys must hate me (only one review again) but I fully expect more reviews for this chapter! If I get-

1 review - I will write a short scene where Eric has cause to be jealous.

5 reviews- a steamy scene

10 reviews - well, you just have to review to find out!

.353 - I hope you liked your preview of the next chapter!

_And last but never least, a big thank you to those of you that fav/followed my story!_

squishy0128, DawnDream, tiarna13, Lippy219192, SexyInu, Emijane2010, DawnPirates and OhBeClever

Just remember- it is now official, a Review _**will**_ equal a Preview!


	12. Chapter 12 - Letting Go & Giving In

A/N: Disclaimer: I don't own the Divergent world. I only own Pazia. (Pronounced: Pah-ze-ah.) All outfits are on my profile. This story is set after Four and Eric became Dauntless but the year before Tris became Dauntless.

**_Rating:_** _M_

**_Word_**_** Count:** 9, 125_

_A/N: Yay! I did get six reviews! Also...Did I mention that I would combine the little rewards for reviews? 1 review - short scene where Eric gets jealous + 5 reviews - a steamy scene = read on to see..._

_Also, so sorry I missed posting a chapter last week. I was busy getting ready for a fall festival with my club and didn't have much time between that and school to post. Please forgive me ;)_

**Chapter Twelve**

* * *

_**Previously on Battle Scars:**_

_Tears stream down all of our faces as we remember our friend. For the night, all we do is talk about Josh. We bring up his annoying moments and his happy ones._

_To Josh._

_May he live on in our memories forever._

* * *

The next day, I roll over in bed, Izzy and Ellie still sleeping.

I climb out and go to the bathroom, trying to be quiet.

Izzy is normally so strong, her chin high and bold. But now with tear tracks staining her face, she looks young and vulnerable. My heart aches for her and her loss. Tears start to burn in my eyes again so I take in a shaky breath. I pad out into my tiny kitchen and start some coffee. I sit down and look at the file on my coffee table.

Inside is information about the positions I am considering.

I have crossed out Mechanical, Tattoo and Med Unit. The last three I still have no clue what to chose. I sigh, shoving the packet into my desk drawer and locking it, turning away from my responsibilities.

When Ellie and Izzy finally wake, we curl up on the couch with blank eyes and warm coffee. We quietly talk about Taylor and how strong she really was, no matter her scoring.

"The last thing she ever said to me was: You are amazing, Ellie. I always knew you were a Dauntless at heart." Ellie pauses, a tear streaking down her cheek as Izzy and I cuddle into her side. "What about you guys?" She asks. Tears burn in my eyes and I take deep breaths to hold them back.

"She told me that Sam and I were perfect for each other. She said she envied the two of us finding each other and told me to treasure him." Izzy gets out, tears streaming down her face. Our hearts ache as we hold and comfort our best friend. "But enough about me-" Izzy sniffs tearfully and turns to me. "What'd she say to you?" Izzy asks, taking a sip of her coffee and I bite my lip, lowering my gaze.

"Eric and you have an undeniable attraction." I quote quietly. "You owe it to yourself to see if it could be something more. You know he won't come after you so go after him and make him take you. He responds to force and jealousy. Make him jealous and state where you stand in no uncertain terms. Then you take what you want and make him crave it too. Make him need and want you and he will be yours." I fall silent, tears spilling onto my cheeks. "She told me to go after him and I didn't. Her last words to me were no. I told her I wouldn't do it. I was stubborn and I let pride get in the way." I cry and my heart both breaks and heals a little as Ellie and Izzy wrap their arms around me and we cry together.

**XXX**

"So what are you going to do about it?" Ellie asks a couple of hours later as we eat sandwich in my small kitchen.

"Do about what?" I ask and Izzy swallows her bite.

"About Eric." She says and I look between the two of them. Ellie's small face looks smaller in her copper hair that has grown to her shoulders. Her cheekbones are more defined and her blue eyes are shadowed and she looks so much older and more mature than she ever should have been. Izzy is watching with quiet amber eyes, sorrow so deep in them that it almost hurts to look her in the eyes. She too, looks small and fragile in the big shirt she is wearing.

"I don't know." I finally answer and they exchange glances.

"Do you want to follow Tay's last words?" Ellie asks and I flinch a little, but nod with a watery smile.

"Not just for me but to honor her memory." I tell them quietly and they crowd around me protectively.

"Then we will help you. And we will talk about Taylor like we did Josh. We will never forget them." Izzy says and I hug the two of them close as we cry some more.

"We can help you get ready." Ellie finally says, calming a little and I cock my head to the side in confusion.

"She is going to need a lot done if we are going to have her ready by tonight." Izzy says, looking at my bloodshot eyes, frizzy bun, dry skin and lank hair. I look down at myself, insulted but mostly confused.

"What?" I ask and they turn to me.

"You are going to go after Eric." Ellie says, rolling her eyes and I nod.

"Yep. Gathered that much." I say sarcastically.

"Tonight." Izzy clarifies and I shake my head.

"Tonight is about Taylor. It would be disrespectful to her memory if I were to party and hunt for a guy the day after she died." I protest and shakes her head.

"You do this in Taylor's memory." Ellie begins and Izzy steps in.

"It's what she would have wanted." Izzy finishes and I stare between the two of them.

"I don't have much say in this, do I?" I ask rhetorically and they laugh.

"Nope."

* * *

I slink through the tunnels in Dauntless, my form fairly glowing.

I am dressed to impress and I do. Everyone that walks by me does a double take and definitely in a good way. My black heels click on the tunnel floors and fill me with confidence, as evidenced by the sway of my hips. My black shorts with silver zippers going horizontal down the short front serve to lengthen my legs and they go on for miles. My top is white with a lace back. It has a deep v down the front that stops a little above my belly button and it shows I am not wearing a bra. In addition, the top is short on the bottom, showing my midriff with a silver stud glinting in my belly button.

My lips are a sensual red and are set in a knowing smirk. My long, dark, multicolored hair is sexily rumpled and the loose curls cascade over my shoulder. My eyes are lined in kohl and are a piercing cobalt blue lined with long, feathery lashes that sweep down and caress my cheeks before once more revealing my stunning eyes.

A simple silver metal band is around my wrist and a black and silver ring on my thumb. Around my neck is a collar type necklace. It is two black silk ribbons banded together and resting on my throat.

I feel and look amazing.

I feel a brief flash of sorrow for my lost friends but take a deep breath and let it out. I will do this for them. Because life is too short to be scared of doing something. The worst that can happen is Eric will turn me down. And while that will be a huge blow to my ego, it will not kill me.

I reach the pit and stride in, my seductive appearance gathering attention the moment I enter. I scan the room, looking for a certain someone. I slink to the bar, needing some liquid courage and lean over seductively peering up at the bartender from my feathery lashes. He flushes and I smirk sultrily.

"One bourbon." I order with a risqué smirk and he flushes, gulping and nodding. I pick up my drink and hold his emerald gaze as I sip the the amber liquid. He wets his lips and I smirk, setting down the empty glass and sauntering away. I move to the center of the dance floor and just let loose for a moment, grinding and swaying along with the bass beat. It vibrates in my chest, stirring up my hormones. I sway down someones body and slowly rise, turning and raising my arms above my head as they wrap their arms around my waist. I grind back and open my eyes.

Just as I suspected he would, Eric is staring furiously at me. His glass shatters in his hand as he surges to his feat, murder in his steel eyes. I give him an alluring smile as I sway provocatively. I pull away from the guy I was dancing with and sashay over to him. Eric steps forward but I step back, a racy smile on my face as I rest a hand on his chest and wag a negative finger with the other hand. His muscles ripple under my hand and a lustful sheen takes over my dark blue eyes. I walk past him and nod to Ander. He unwraps his arm from Ellie and picks up a chair and places it in the middle of the floor. My heart races in my chest as Eric's gaze follows my body possessively.

Dauntless members are moving into a circle, curiosity lighting up their eyes as they continue to bump and grind against each other. I grab Eric's vest and walk backwards to the chair. I hold his hot gaze as he follows me. I turn us and push him into the chair. Without a word, I raise my hands above my head and start to sway. He reaches out and I slap his hand away, my warning clear in my eyes.

Eric raises an eyebrow, lust shining in his eyes but settles into the chair, his muscles sleek and bulging in the most enticing way. I wipe my face clear of emotion, letting my eyes burn with desire as I slowly lower myself and rise slinkily. I run my hands down my body, tempting him but he holds tight to his restraint. I pout at him naughtily and his hands tighten on arms of the chair. My movements are fluid and sensual and I slowly turn and bend over, wiggling my butt at him before flipping my hair back as I stand up, glancing sultrily over my shoulder. His chest is rising and lowering rapidly as he watches me hungrily, licking his lips and leaning forward.

Deciding to reward him, I run my hands through my hair and grip fistfuls, allowing my head to fall back as I gyrate my hips to the music. A low growl escapes him and I let my head fall to the side, baring my neck to his hot eyes. His muscles bulge as he strangles the arm handles of the chair. I slowly move closer, pushing back on his chest as I lower myself just above his lap and raise my arms above my head, twisting my hips erotically. He is spellbound as I brush against him purposefully, leaning in to me. I lean back and arch my back as I move my body in a sensual wave towards him.

I drape an arm over his shoulder, clenching my curls in one hand as I roll our hips together but never making full contact as I gyrate in a circle. I run a hand down his chest and lean in, whispering right in his ear.

"I realized something." I begin, my sultry voice low with need. His voice is rough as I finally allow him to grasp my hips but I still don't let our pelvics touch.

"And that is?" He growls and I arch my back almost all the way away from him before slowly rising, my hair slipping off my shoulders. His hungry gaze fixes on the silky skin bared in between my breasts. I sway closer, pressing us chest to chest. My nipples are hard and I shiver as they brush against his hard chest. Triumph flares in his eyes but it disappears in the next second as I whisper darkly in his ear.

"I've been the one doing the chasing...You are so in control, that you deny our attraction unless we are sexually involved and it is pissing me off. You make me _so fucking horny._" I moan breathily into his ear and he stiffens as I pull back and let my hands wander and caress my body. He groans as I rise and lower myself, my nails biting into the side of his neck as I give him a naughty look, biting my lip.

"So_ let me have you_." He growls and I shake my head slowly, a smirk spreading across my face. I lean in again, pressing a hot kiss to his ear before backing away and turning. I sit down on the edge of his lap and start grinding, tossing my long hair back. He hisses as the tips whip in his face and I grin, closing my eyes. I let my head fall back as I surrender to the sirens call inside me. I lean back, hooking an arm around his neck and pressing my lips to his ear. My ass grinds against his cock and he groans gutterally.

"No." I breathe and he stiffens even more, his fingers biting into my hips. The pain only augments the pleasure spiraling through me at the power I wield over him. "I've been chasing you...and if you really want me...I've decided-" I press a hot kiss to his jawline. Rolling my hips closer to his. "_I'm_ done hunting. Now _I _want to be _chased_." I whisper throatily and pull away. I stand in front of him and bend over. "If you want me-" I nuzzle his neck, sliding my hands over his chest and onto his shoulders. "You have to _come get me_." I flash him one last naughty wink and I turn but only take one step when he speaks up. The burning need in his voice is clear and it reassures me for the question that follows.

"Why should I?" He questions but I am prepared for this. I didn't expect him to give in easily and if he had I would be disappointed. Without responding, I slink up to a tall blonde man. His features are face-fucking worthy and I grin at him, taking him by the hand and wrapping his arm around me. I grind back, slinking against him as he presses up against my back.

Eric watches, enraged- but doesn't make a move. I need to push him. I pull the man's face down to mine and lock eyes with Eric as I kiss him. I close my eyes and turn into the man, twining my arms around his neck as his hands slide down to grasp my butt. I lose myself in the kiss, knowing it is the wrong man and finding a small thrill in it.

Large hands close around my waist and I am disoriented as I am deposited to the side. My lips are claimed in a rough kiss, large hands sweeping down my sides and replacing the man's memory before Eric pulls away. Dazed, I gaze up at him. In his eyes, I see my reflection. My eyes are wide and glazed over, my lips are kiss swollen and my hair is rumpled. He smirks in a satisfied manner before turning striding at the other man.

Eric throws a punch, knocking the man to the ground. I watch, pleased it is going according to plan as Eric grabs the man by the shirt and starts punching him, a vicious light in his steel eyes. He unleashes his ferocious anger on the man and I tilt my head to the side as Ander and Four stop by me.

"Shouldn't you stop him?" Ander asks and I shake my head, mesmerized by the blatant display of male power. My clit throbs and I catch my breath as Eric's back muscles shift, bunch and release powerfully.

"Oh no." I say, smirking. "He needs to get rid of some tension. I have no plans on helping him with that tonight." I lick my lip before biting it as the man's face is covered in crimson. Eric is furious, slamming this guys face over and over, a large hand at his throat. The man's struggle is growing weaker and I sense the moment to step in getting closer as I watch, mesmerized.

"When will you step in?" Four asks and I raise a hand.

"Five. Four. Three. Two. One. Excuse me gentlemen. I have to take care of this." I saunter forward and a pleased smirk covers my face as I hear what Eric is growling.

"_She. Is. **Mine**!_" I rest a hand on his arm and tug.

"I think he knows that, baby." I deliberately lower my voice to a throaty growl and he stops. "Give me a kiss?" I breathe and he whirls around, the man forgotten as he claims my mouth in front of everyone. Our tongues fight for dominance as I curve slinkily around Eric, his muscles bunching and trembling against my stomach. Our heated kiss arouses me even more as we pull away and kiss again and again. Eric fists my hair, causing me to arch my back, pressing my chest into his steel muscles. After a few moments of this, I press a hand to his chest and slip, boneless out of his arms.

I smirk and give him my most heated gaze.

"You know what you want now, Eric. I expect you try and get it." I smirk sexily one last time and then leave. His gaze boring into my back is heated and a thrill shoots through me at the thought of Eric finally, actively coming after me.

**XXX**

"Whoa!"

"That was so hot!" Ellie and Izzy exclaim, bursting into my apartment a little while later. I smile weakly at them as I nod, my boots in the corner as I lean over my coffee table, looking over papers with a bourbon in hand.

"Thanks guys." I sigh, rubbing my face with a hand and running my fingers through my hair before tugging it back into a ponytail. I pick up my drink and take another gulp, my somber gaze returning to the papers on my table. Ellie and Izzy sense my somber mood, kicking off their shoes, pouring a drink and settling down beside me, a chin landing on each of my shoulders. I smile despite my mood and press my cheek to Ellie's head and then Izzy's.

"Still can't decide?" Ellie asks and I sigh.

"I know what I _want_ to do but I know what I _need_ to do." I say, knowing I will end up sacrificing what I want for what I need. In the end, I will _never_ be free. I am just prolonging the pain for just a little while longer.

"And that is?" Izzy asks quietly and I let my head drop forward, tears burning in my eyes.

"I want to be Border Patrol. Me and Jett together, just like I always dreamed. We could finally be Dauntless and I can finally be free of my..." I gulp deeply of my drink before lowering the cup and staring at the dark liquid. "I can finally be free of my father." I mummer. "But I know that Josh didn't jump and Taylor probably didn't die on her own. And my _fucking _loyalty tells me to hold on to this. My gut tells me it is tied into something big and I _need to know._" I grind the heel of my palm into my forehead. "Stupid Erudite brain." I mutter, sighing deeply. Ellie and Izzy sit silent at my sides, knowing I just need to get this out.

"And?" Ellie asks softly and I roughly grasp the hair at my temple.

"_And_ I need to become a Dauntless Leader to find the truth. If I do Dauntless-Leader-in-training then I will have to power to _do _something instead of sitting helpless." I take a deep, shuddering breath. "But I'm afraid." I whisper, a tear slipping down my cheek as I stare blankly down at the file. "I'm afraid of what I'll find." I drop my head and my chin rests on my chest as Ellie and Izzy circle their arms around my shoulders and waist. "So I'll choose to do my duty. I will be Dauntless-Leader-in-training and maybe..." I trail off, tears dripping down my chin. "Maybe _one day_ I can join Jett. _One day_ I will be able to live without the strain of duty upon my shoulders. _One day_ I won't have to hold up the sky. _One day_ I will finally be able to do what I want and I will be truly free." I say quietly, the fire draining out of me.

I reach forward and cross out Border Patrol and start to do the same for Training but Izzy stops me with a gentle hand.

"You might not be able to do Border Patrol but you can always request Training Instructor when the next batch of initiates come in. They might be hesitant but you know you can handle the strain and we know you, Paz. You never back down when you want something." Izzy says and I clench my eyes closed, rocking a little in my seat as her words hit home.

"But I _want_ Border Patrol!" I cry out, and in a fit of anger; toss my cup at the wall. The crashing sound soothes a little of my anger and I clench my hair in my fists as I lower my head again, fresh tears staining my face. "I want to be normal. No more nightmares. Normal fears. I don't want to cower when the mere _thought _ of my father crosses my mind. I want to be Dauntless and free. I want to lead a Patrol and to respected and sometimes feared but never obsessively, rather respectfully. I want to prove my worth as a normal soldier." I sigh deeply, my soul crying out in pain. "But I can't have it and I never settle for second best."

"But it will help sooth you a little." Ellie mummers, rubbing my back softly. I tense up at the motion before slowly relaxing. "And you will need something to keep you from going crazy. You need action to release tension. We all know it." Ellie says softly and I snort, closing my eyes and leaning into them.

"Okay." I mummer. "Tomorrow I accept the Dauntless-Leader-in-training program but with the one condition I can be a Training Instructor when the time comes." I say, with an air of finality; another little part of me dying inside. I circle the two jobs and shove the papers back in the packet, standing up and dropping it on the desk. For a moment I stand there and then I turn to my friends. "Let's go to the train." I say impulsively.

"Just Zander, Sasha, Dean and you two. We have a promise to keep." I say in response to their quizzical looks. Understanding dawns on Izzy's face and she nods, hurrying to my room to get dress and dragging Ellie with her. With them out of the room, I allow myself to sink to the ground, holding a hand to my mouth as silent sobs rack my body. My future, the happy one I imagined- is slipping away like sand. Tears stain my cheeks as I sob deeply, sorrow for a lost future drowning me.

Hearing Izzy explain to Ellie the promise we made, I rest my head on the desk and take deep breaths as I regain my composure.

I slowly climb to my feet and move to my room.

Ellie is tugging on her jacket and Izzy pops her head out of my bathroom, brush in hand to wave at me. I smile at them, slipping out of my leather shorts and tugging on some cargo pants, a belt and combat boots. I pull off my tank top and slip on a deep red crop top that fits like a second skin. I trace my sunburst tattoo that is partially revealed by the scoop neck of my top.

_Choose life._

What a cruel joke.

**XXX**

"Ready?" I whisper as we hear the train horn coming in closer. Nodding, the six of us surge to our feet and start running.

Instead of the usual feeling of freedom, we are weighted down by the thought there should be one more of us. As we run, the train roars beside us and I swear I catch a glimpse of Josh running with us, his black and green hair pushed back by the wind and his green eyes gleaming with life. Tears spring to my eyes as everyone swings into the train and I still run. I push myself faster, remembering Josh was the one that saw me first all those months ago. His head sticking out of the train and a look of shock painted on his face.

I jump just as a sob bursts out of me...

...and I land safely inside. I lay on my back for a moment, just thinking of our lost friend before Zander helps me up and Sasha brushes me off. I nod my thanks at them, my throat swelling with tears that I struggle to keep back. I settle against the side of the train and stare out the door, the wind whipping my ponytail around. We sit silently, each of us lost in our own thoughts as the train rumbles on.

The sun slowly starts to sink, turning everything into shades of orange, red and gold.

We each say our silent farewells to our friend.

_-"I wonder why you didn't go to Candor, Miss Honest." He snickers and I roll my eyes twisting my lips at him.-_

Tears stream down our faces as we stare at the setting sun and mourn our lost friend.

_-"Let's do a 3 person jump off." Josh says with a grin and I look at him confused.-_

We remember the life in him.

_-"I thought we were closer than than!" Josh cries with a teasing grin as he flings a handful of corn at me. I duck, laughing and throw a few kernels back.-_

We remember him as he was; fierce and Dauntless.

_-"Oh my goodness! Dickward? That isn't really his name?" I ask, doubt in my tone as I calm down and pop a piece of the roll in my mouth._

_"Nah, but he is such a dick that is what we call him." Josh explains casually.-_

We remember him when he was competitive.

_-"Race you!" Josh shouts, green eyes glittering with challenge before he takes off.-_

We remember him when he was casually affectionate; welcoming us.

_-"Oy! What about me?" Josh asks and I grin, sticking my tongue out. He laughs and just like that, I have Josh back too. "I'm Josh!" He introduces himself, wrapping an arm around my neck as I lean back against the wall again.-_

We remember when he was teasing and brimming with life.

_-"-screamed like a pansy!" Josh shouts and explode into laughter, shoving each other playfully and cackling.-_

We remember him when he was human.

_-"Sorry." I mutter and he chuckles._

_"Don't be. You did awesome." He reassures me and I hold out a hand. He clasps it, rising to his feet. I offer him my shoulder as he wobbles a little and he leans on me with another small grin.-_

And we remember him dead.

_-His green and black hair is dark and wet and he won't ever complain about it getting messed up in training. Josh is never going to joke around and laugh with us. Josh is gone. And we won't ever get him back.-_

And at the end of the day when we leap from the train, we think of him as he should be. Alive and happy in a better place. One where he will thrive and smirk and flirt without pain. Where he will be treasured and accepted and he won't have to fight to prove his worth. Where he will just be.

And one day we will join him but as we head back to Dauntless, we know it won't be now.

Not until we find out who killed him and Taylor...

...and erase them from life.

* * *

We stride into the Pit, shoulder to shoulder.

Resolve burns in our eyes as we share nods and split off from each other. I head over to the table where the Dauntless Leaders are eating breakfast. I stand there respectfully for a moment, my hands clasped behind my back and my eyes diverted away. Eric is the first to notice me, his gaze sweeping over my bare waist, my tattoos peaking out and a silver chain I have hanging on my hips. I can tell his eyes have darkened though I don't look at him, intent on presenting the right image.

Max, Conner and Sienna notice me next and Angel sneers as she sees me.

"You've made your decision." Max states and I nod, silently handing over my file. He opens it, sharing it with his fellow Leaders. I catch a glimpse of the Border Patrol offer and longing burns through me so strongly it steals my breath for a second before I avert my eyes, the now familiar burn appearing behind my eyes as I shut them for a second. I have hidden the almost-tears just as Max nods and turns to me. "You are certain you want Training Instructor when we get our next batch of initiates?" He asks and raise my head, keeping my eyes on the ground.

"Yes, sir." I answer quietly but firmly, my stance telling him I won't back down. He scans me for a second, confusion at my unusually somber attitude washing over him.

"You were close to the two initiates that died." He says quietly and a small tremor runs through my body, giving his answer as I clench my jaw, my hands tightening into fists behind my back.

"Yes, sir." I respond, the burning anger in my voice showing for a second before it is gone and the placid mask returns. He scans me before nodding and tucking the file under his arm and rising from his seat.

"You are the only initiate that was extended the offer of Leader in training." He tells me and I nod, shock flashing through me. "Had you not accepted, it would have been extended to your friend." He says, meaning Ellie and I raise my head, carefully looking him in the eye; wondering why he is telling me this. "Now that you have accepted, it will be different. You will be elevated above your friends. Don't be surprised if they aren't your friends for much longer." He tells me quietly and I close my eyes for a second, uncertainty thrumming through me...but I already committed to this. I will find out what happened to my two lost friends and if I lose some more along the way, then they clearly weren't truly my friends to begin with. Pain ripples through me but I subdue it.

"Understood, sir." I respond and he nods curtly.

"Today, you will receive your first lesson from Sienna. She will be going to tell you about responsibilities of a Leader and how you are expected to act." Max informs me, handing me a slim, rectangular box. "Make sure to take plenty of notes." He says cryptically and then he walks away. I pull it open and there is a sleek black tablet. I lift it out, the screen flicking on.

"_Scanning new owners finger prints..._" A robotic voice says and shows the image of a hand print. I rest my hand on it and it scans my first hand then the other. "_Scanning new owners retinas.._" I raise the tablet and let it scan my eyes, and face. "_New owners name?_"

"Paz." I say quietly and it scans my voice before unlocking and showing a screen with the Dauntless symbol.

"_Welcome, Paz._" The voice says and then Sienna grins.

"We all got one when we became Leaders. It's the most damn useful thing I have ever had. It never leaves my side." She jokes, her light eyes sparkling. I smile reservedly back and she tilts her head but doesn't comment. "C'mon. We have a lot to go over. Don't worry though. It's mostly wordy stuff with me." She says and leads me away. "So while I tell you this stuff, I am going to assess a few things. Mostly mental." She says, leading me through the tunnels and opens a door, stepping in. "This is the Leaders Room. We call it COO. Our Center of Operations. Have a seat." The room is gray with black couches, steel tables set around the room and in the center is a short round table with a chess set in silver and black resting on it. Sienna and I move to the table and sit in the comfortable chairs on either side of it. Sienna moves first, her pawn moving two spaces. "So, what questions do you have for me?" She asks as I move my pawn forward two spaces.

"What will Dauntless-Leader-in-training include?" I ask, cocking my head to the side and watching as she moves her rook forward.

"Several different things. Visiting Factions and ensuring we are on good terms with them, settling disputes between our soldiers, setting jobs that need to be done and watching over them, a lot of things. You will not learn all of this stuff in a specific order but rather all out of order. It depends on who you are assigned to for the day that determines what you will be doing and learning." Sienna promptly answers and I nod, sliding my castle forward and capturing her bishop.

"And we will be doing?" I question, watching as she steals a knight and I slide in my bishop to take her rook.

"Leadership qualities. To you, what is a leader?"

"A leader is someone who watches over those that trust them to take care of them and spur them to new heights. A leader is someone who takes charge and isn't afraid to give their life so that others might live theirs." I respond and she looks at me in a new light.

"Correct. But a leader is also someone who influences people to do things to a standard and quality above the normal. Someone who inspires and sets the example. As a leader, you are going to be privy to information that others are not. You will have the knowledge and with that knowledge, you will have to envision the future and passionately believe that you can inspire and lead them into making a _difference_."

I nod, hearing the passion in her voice and it makes me yearn to match that passion.

**XXX**

_"Truly great leaders understand that you must sometimes work through emotion."_

I see Josh's mother crying with her husband and move over to them. I speak quietly, allowing my emotions to show as I tell them what an amazing son they had. When I leave them, they have calmed some and returned to work. Sienna nods approvingly, leading me away.

_"When you drive emotions positively, you bring out everyone's best. You ignite their passion and inspire the best of them."_

I stride into the room, seeing a few of my friends dotted through. I move to the head of the room, Sienna taking up post in the corner. Watching but not interfering. I face the crowd, automatically shifting into my 'Alpha' posture. Shoulders back, chin high, a smirk curling on my lips and a confident look in my dark blue eyes.

"Hello. As you know, I am Paz. I am currently a Dauntless-Leader-in-training and like initiation, I am passing a series of tests. This one is to see if I can handle a large project on my own." I begin, my voice low; inviting them into my confidence but at the same time, carries easily; showing I am not a pushover. "And I have been allowed to choose my project. During my short time here, I have noticed that when you aren't working, there isn't much for anyone to do. I plan on changing that and starting up a series of Tournaments. In these Tournaments, you will battle to see who truly is the best. There will be different stages. Stage One will be be split into a lot of different parts. Similar to initiation. There will be contests to determine the best knife thrower, gun slinger and more. If you have suggestions, I want to hear them. I will be putting a list of different competitions around Dauntless. If you think there is something we should include, for example a bench pressing challenge, then there will be a sheet underneath it with a pen. Just write out your suggestion. Now, I need volunteers to help set up these challenges. We need a series of rooms not being used, preferably higher up in the tunnels. They need to be large so all of the competitors and watchers can mingle comfortably. We don't want to be sardines." I joke and there is a spattering of snickers.

"I might have an idea." I nod at the Dauntless soldier and he moves forward. "There is some pretty large rooms close to where the final Stage for the initiates is held. There is like four or five rooms and they are all connected by a hole in the wall. So you can walk from room to room." I grin, gesturing for him to come forward.

"Sounds perfect. And you are?" I raise a dark eyebrow and he grins.

"Izayah." He introduces himself, gray eyes glinting mischievously. I nod, turning to the crowd.

"It would seem we have our places, now we need volunteers to help set all of this stuff up." I call out and there are hesitant looks. I watch them critically, my Erudite brain peaking out for the first time in months. I scan body language and attitudes, deciding the best plan of action. I throw my arms out to halt the speaking and they turn to me. "The volunteers will be given a leave from their current jobs for the duration of building- in addition to a doubling of the points they earn." I call out, a smug smirk on my face at the suddenly receptive attitudes in the room. "The sign up sheet is at the door." I point and there is a rush for the sign up sheet. I wander over to Sienna and lean against the wall, propping a leg up on the wall and crossing my arms.

She meets my gaze and I don't have to say anything.

My smug smirk says it all.

As does the approving nod.

_"Your cannot be a leader without a following, and you have to delegate appropriately. You don't have to do all the work, just direct it."_

I stifle a yawn, nodding to the worker.

"Change the wrestling station to room one and bench pressing to room four. That should leave enough room for the refreshments in each of the rooms." I order and she nods, hurrying off.

"Doing all right there, oh-fearless-one?" I grin, looking over at Izayah and shrugging.

"I'm doing great. But thanks for speaking up because you reminded me, I need you to ensure that we have enough of the simulation bullets. The ones we used in Capture the Flag. I need at least 8 units." I tell him and he narrows his eyes curiously but nods. "Also, I am going to be gone tomorrow. I am going with Conner to visit Candor. I don't know when I will be back." I tell him and he nods, typing it down in his tablet.

Most of Dauntless don't have tablets, it is usually reserved for the Leaders and Leaders in training but I requested one for Izayah because he is fast becoming my right-hand. The amber-haired man is reliable and smart. I suspect he was a former Erudite but don't bother asking because he is all Dauntless now. Sienna is approving of him because as a leader, I need to 'learn to delegate.'

I already know how to fucking delegate, I just prefer _not_ to.

It's a control thing.

"Alright, should I put Mikenna and Sabbath in charge with me?" Izayah asks and I nod, thinking of other two Dauntless soldiers. Mikenna is Sabbath's girlfriend. She has the willowy frame, unsettling yellow-gold eyes and brown curls. Sabbath is tall and bulky and has ridiculously purple hair. Seriously, it is such a bright shade that it almost blinds me to look at it. Mikenna has a talent of swaying people to her thinking and Sabbath is her intelligent and fiercely protective muscle.

I would think it was adorable if I wasn't so envious.

"Thanks for being so awesome." I tell him sincerely and he smirks, nodding back at me. His gaze goes past me and I can tell he has spotted his latest conquest. Izayah is a player and has yet to find someone that can reign him in, aside from me but I have made it clear that I want only one males attention. But at the moment, I haven't spent much time around Eric because he is doing his Leader duties and I am doing my leader in training.

After I work with Conner tomorrow though, Eric will be next.

Excitement stirs in me at the thought before I shove it down.

**XXX**

"Excited?" Conner asks, looking down at me and I nod, grinning as the wind from the train plays with my hair.

"I have never been to the Candor Headquarters before. What's it like?" I ask curiously and he settles back against the wall.

"It is in shades of white and black. The structure is very straightforward. No swoops or curves. The people are blunt and wear only black and white. It's nothing like Dauntless, that's for fucking sure." Conner snorts and I grin at him.

"What about their leader?" I ask and he rolls his eyes.

"They have no leader. Technically, Jack Kang is just a representative." Conner informs me and my eyebrows shoot up. He nods in understanding, amusement in his eyes. "Yeah, it's pretty weird but that's Candor." He shrugs dismissively.

"What's he like?" I ask curiously, entering my information into my tablet. When I am not using it, I have a pouch in my cargo pants that I keep it in.

"Well, Little Miss Erudite, Jack Kang is a Candor. He is smart, blunt and perceptive. He is in his late thirties, has black hair, slanted eyes, deep voice. He's got this air about him, like he is so humble but important at the same time. He is pretty tall." Conner shrugs. "What more do you want?" He teases and I roll my eyes at him, saving the information.

"I think that is enough for now." I smirk at Conner's mock-offended face and laugh as he flips me the middle finger. I return it and he barks a laugh. When we reach the spot, we get ready and fling ourselves off the train. This time, instead of rolling, I make an impression by landing lightly on my feet and jogging a few steps, exchanging a prideful glance with Conner. He snorts, shoving my shoulder as we move briskly through the fairly busy streets of Candor. When we reach the imposing building, I spot the man we are headed to.

Wow.

Conner neglected to mention how handsome Jack Kang is. His black hair is cut short, his slanted eyes are dark and serious and his cheekbones lend him a naturally superior look. The whole package is tied together with his warm skin tone, talk physic and slim fingers. I raise an eyebrow, scanning his form. His stance clearly says he is irritated and I grin, knowing we are the cause. We were supposed to be here a half an hour ago. We jog up to Jack Kang and he turns to us, raising an eyebrow but smiles politely anyway.

"Ah, Conner." He greets him and I half expect him to say he is glad to see him again but from his pursed lips, I get it.

Candors aren't supposed to lie.

I have to hold in my snickers but my dark blue eyes gleam in amusement regardless. He turns to me and holds out a hand, I grasp in in mine, shaking it roughly.

"And you are?" He asks, scanning my form. Today I am dressed in my customary cargo pants that cling to my hips, butt and upper thighs before loosening out the farther down my legs. Silver and black combat boots are laced up on my feet. My black cut-off tank top reveals my midriff and all my tattoos and the scoop neck is almost scandalously low, showing my sunburst tattoo and the swell of my cleavage. My multicolored curls are half up in a bouncy ponytail and the rest cascade down my shoulders in a curly wave. My overly long bangs hang near my left eye and my right cheekbone has a pale four inch scar that lends a ferocious edge to my outfit. The silver chain that hangs loosely around my waist also adds to the fiercely feminine look along with the daggers strapped to one thigh and the gun strapped to the other. My eyes are smoky and lashes are long, my lips curling in a wicked smirk.

I lower my hand, it clad in my black finger-less gloves, my nails painted a crimson red. Around my wrist is a thick leather band I started wearing after the archery classes during Stage Two. I lower my lashes, glancing subtly at Conner, who blinks at me.

"I am Paz." I answer casually, not bothering to tell him why I am here. He purses his lips but nods, his eyes falling on my phoenix necklace that hangs right over my cleavage. Interest flashes in his eyes but he turns halfway, gesturing for us to follow him.

"If you will follow me, I will lead you to the conference room." He tells us cordially, his deep voice expressing polite interest. I hang back and let Conner take the lead, loping behind him as I look around curiously. I spot different styles of dressing but they are always in black and white. The students and Candor members watch us with undisguised curiosity and I grin, remembering what it was like to watch the Dauntless pass by. And now I am Dauntless but more than that, I am in training to become a Dauntless leader. Pride fills me as I add a sway to my walk, causing a few red cheeks and interested glances.

Jack leads us to a room with a long table and several chairs around it, the walls a clear glass. I raise an eyebrow as we enter the room but choose not to comment, instead pulling out my tablet and making notes about Candor.

"If you will wait here a moment, I will be back as soon as possible." He says and then turns and leaves. I plop down in a chair, spinning idly and smirking at Conner as he goes to his own seat.

"These Candors sure are a polite lot, huh?" I ask mischievously and he glares at me, flipping me off again. I bark a laugh, returning it and he shakes his head. "You game for some chess?" I ask, pulling up the app and he sighs but nods, moving forward.

**XXX**

"Dammit! What the hell is taking them so long?" I whine, laying my head down on the table. Conner shrugs, a frown on his face.

"I don't know but it can't be good." He mutters, shoving my tablet away. I shut it off, slipping it in one of the pockets lining my legs. I twirl in the chair before abruptly stopping, my eyes narrowing and a smirk curling on my red lips as I get an idea. I slowly turn to Conner and he sighs, slumping in his seat.

"Do what you want but remember- you are representing Dauntless. And if you get caught, I knew nothing." He warns. Nodding cheerfully, I bounce out of the room. I walk down the hallway in the same direction Jack Kang went. Before long, I reach a door and I pull it open, squaring my shoulders and setting my chin arrogantly. I enter the room, my dark blue eyes scanning it.

It is a small white office, black chairs against the wall and a black desk opposite them. A guy around my age is sitting at the desk, typing on a sleek white computer. His dark slanted eyes, high cheekbones and tousled black hair show some resemblance to Jack Kang and I raise an eyebrow. The boy silently raises a hand and points to the seats along the wall.

"If you will take a seat, I will be with you in a moment." He says in a monotone, quickly typing again. Ignoring his words, I stride over to the desk, leaning my forearms on the top and 'accidentally' making my cleavage more prominent. He looks up to repeat himself but his eyes fall to my chest and he snaps his mouth shut with an audible click. "Can I help you?" He asks in a smooth voice, raising his eyes to mine. I quirk an eyebrow, a flirty grin crossing my face.

"Sure. I'm a Dauntless representative. I'm here to see Jack Kang." I tell him throatily and his eyes widen a little, his pupils dilating with lust.

"I cannot let you see Jack Kang yet. He is busy with someone in his office." The boy says and I pout, looking at him from under my lashes. He leans back in his chair, his gaze sweeping slowly over me. I preen under his clearly appreciative gaze, incidentally pushing my chest farther out.

"Are you sure?" I ask again and he nods, a regretful look crossing his face.

"Quite sure. You will have to wait until he is done." The boy says and I sigh, leaning on the counter.

"What's your name?" I ask impulsively and he blinks with surprise as I cock my head to the side in a ridiculously endearing way.

"My name is Kahn." He responds and I grin at him.

"I'm Paz. How old are you?" I ask and he sits straighter, subconsciously smoothing his slim white tie. He smirks flirtatiously and I blink innocently at him.

"I am 18, and you?" He asks, leaning forward, bringing us closer together.

"I'm 18 also." The flawless lie slips off my tongue and interest flares in his dark eyes as I start to twirl a strand of my curly hair. I smirk playfully at him and draw him into a flirty conversation, throwing my head back and laughing, full and loud at one of his wittier jokes. The door at the end of the room is yanked open and I twist to see who it is, my mouth snapping shut as I see Eric. His large form almost dwarfs the doorway, his muscles rippling as he narrows his eyes darkly at myself and Kahn.

"What the hell are you doing here?" He snaps angrily, striding forward and in front of me in a matter of seconds. I look up at him, my flirty smile gone and my stance suggesting a fight. I know how possessive and jealous Eric can be. And right now, his alpha male tendencies are awake and judging by the murderous glare- are _not _pleased.

"I'm here with Conner." I respond, my voice firm and no longer airy and light. I wince as Kahn reacts visibly behind me. Eric's gaze snaps to him, anger brewing in the depths of steely blue-gray eyes.

"That doesn't _look_ like Conner to me." Eric snaps, his voice rising and a second later, Conner races into the room. His gaze swiftly takes in the scene and as his eyes flick from me to Kahn to Eric, he slaps a hand to his face.

"Shit." He mutters, knowing full well how Eric can be. "Eric." He nods at his fellow leader, walking over to us.

"What seems to be the problem here?" Jack Kang's voice rings out and Eric shifts, his brawny form turning and facing the Candor representative.

"You have visitors." Kahn says, getting up and rounding the desk. "This is Paz and she is with the Dauntless representative. She asked to see you but I told her you were busy with someone else." Kahn explains and Eric clenches his jaw.

"I'm sure that is _all_ you were doing." He says harshly, Kahn facing him with a polite expression.

"Of course." He says, winking at me and walking toward his desk. The problem with that, is he just provoked Eric...who has no trouble staking his claim...violently. He grabs Kahn by the suit and pulls him up, lowering his face to the other male.

"Wink at her again and I rip your eyes out." Eric hisses and Kahn pales a little. I roll my eyes, hiding my face behind a hand and sending a pleading look at Conner. He shrugs, a 'no fucking way am I getting in the middle of this' look on his face.

"Put him down." Jack Kang orders angrily, striding forward. Waiting a moment, Eric then drops him, smiling darkly.

"My business is done here." He snaps before turning to us. I straighten my back, raising my chin defiantly. A darker emotion flares in his eyes as he steps closer and forces me to look up at him. "I'll be seeing you later." He promises darkly and a shiver runs down my spine. He turns and strides out of the office. I sheepishly turn to Conner who makes a whipping sound. I slap the back of his head, a reluctant smirk rising on my face as anticipation stirs hungrily inside.

"Think he'll spank me?" I ask Conner playfully and his eyes widen as I laugh and stride past him into the office.

* * *

You guys rock! So I decided to keep the review rewards thing going. I am going to switch it up each chapter though, so this time it is:

1 review - a bonding scene with the girls of the group

10 reviews - screw it. I feel the need to let you guys know that the next chapter is pretty much wild Paz/Eric interactions...do you think he'll spank her? Review...

MyhusbandsaPRICK - Aww! I didn't mean to make you cry! But I was also crying when I wrote that part...Poor Josh and Taylor. You are totally right, she will be training on the side like Eric does! And thanks for putting that in your story! I really appreciate it!

gw82 - Thanks so much for reviewing and I hope you enjoyed the preview!

AmaranteX - Hey, perfectly fine! I was just teasing anyway. And yeah, not a lot of consequences for Paz on the fight...doesn't it make you wonder though? Especially considering Eric is a leader and could have enforced his own punishment if he really wanted to...

I didn't realize she had grown but I went back and read from the first chapter and wow. Paz really has grown into the person she is now. It actually makes me feel a lot better about my story, so thanks! Brazen? Ha, wait til you read the next chapter! Thanks so much for reviewing!

Emijane2010 - Yup! I seriously cried when I wrote that last chapter!

Guest - Thanks so much for reviewing! You are actually the fifth review so I am sure you are thankful for that!

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barbara. nob. 7, cini-sugar-bread, elrohirandelladan, and SlvrSrpnt

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	13. Chapter 13 - Finally

A/N: Disclaimer: I don't own the Divergent world. I only own Pazia. (Pronounced: Pah-ze-ah.) All outfits are on my profile. This story is set after Four and Eric became Dauntless but the year before Tris became Dauntless.

**_Rating:_** _M_

**_Word_**_** Count:** 8, 068_

**Chapter Thirteen**

* * *

_**Previously on Battle Scars:**_

_"I'll be seeing you later." He promises darkly and a shiver runs down my spine. He turns and strides out of the office. I sheepishly turn to Conner who makes a whipping sound. I slap the back of his head, a reluctant smirk rising on my face as anticipation stirs hungrily inside._

_"Think he'll spank me?" I ask Conner playfully and his eyes widen as I laugh and stride past him into the office._

* * *

"I can't tell from the look on your face whether you are scared or excited." Conner remarks as we leap off the train and jog into the compound. I give him a wry look as we jog through the tunnels.

"It is the weirdest mix I have ever felt." I groan and he laughs, slapping my shoulder friendly.

"Damn, you should learn by now not to provoke him!" Conner jokes and I shoot him a dirty glare.

"I didn't know or expect him to be there." I snap angrily. "I was harmlessly flirting with the kid. It's not like I was going to make out with him or anything-" I crash into a rock-solid chest and large hands clamp down on my hips.

"Good." He voice rumbles and I almost _melt _in his arms, the possessiveness in his voice pleasing me. Eric raises his head and sends a sharp glare at Conner, who watches him warily. "She is taking the rest of the day off." Eric states, a harsh edge to his voice. Conner nods and jogs away, not bothering to argue- knowing it will only land him in the Med Unit. I turn my attention to Eric, who glares down at me before I shriek as I get tossed over his shoulder. Unlike the last time, I don't really object to being tossed over his broad shoulders as I can see his ass and back muscles flexing as he moves; but for the sake of my feminine pride, I must _act_ like I mind it.

"Eric! What the hell? Set me do- ohhh." I cut myself off as he slaps my ass. Heat warms in my core at the quick motion and wetness gathers between my legs. "Eric, where are we going?" I ask and he slaps my ass again. The feel of his hand on my butt, combined with the slight pain, quickly has me subtly trying to alleviate some of the pressure.

"Don't." Eric warns and I pant quietly as I fall still but it seems like it is taking forever to get to wherever we are going and I can't help myself. The alpha male he is exuding makes heat sing through my veins and it draws an undeniable reaction out of me. I rub my thighs together and Eric growls, the sound going straight to my core as my clit throbs.

"Eric..." I whine and the next thing I know, he is picking up his pace; almost jogging through the tunnels. When I recognize where we are, a thrill shoots through me. We are in the Dauntless Leaders tunnels. Eric heads quickly to the door at the end of the hallway, yanking the door open and slamming it shut behind us. He moves swiftly through his living room and yanks another door open. I yelp as he tosses me and I land on the bed, turning and trying move off the other side.

"Where are you going?" He rumbles, and I freeze as his hands clamp on my waist. I am vividly aware of the position I am in and the affect it is having on him. On my hands and knees, I turn my head and look at him over my shoulder, my pulse racing.

"To the bathr- _fuck!_" I whine, arching my back towards him as he tugs my ass roughly against his rigid length. I can feel it, rock hard through the layers of clothes we have on. I pant as he deliberately grinds right against my clit and pleasure lights through me.

"I don't think so." Eric growls, low in his chest and leans forward, his muscular chest against my back and I can feel his muscles rippling. I moan, arching closer to him, my hands having a strangle hold on the sheets under me. "You-" He rumbles, winding a hand through my hair and yanking my head back. "-are going to stay here." He snarls, biting down on my neck. I jolt against him, a wanton mewl slipping out and he stiffens against my back, a steel arm wrapping around my waist and holding me against him.

He unbuttons my pants and before I can protest, flips me on my back; straddling me.

I stare up at him, my eyes wide and hair rumpled around my shoulders. He smirks darkly pulling his shirt off. My eyes greedily take in the sight of his muscled chest as it flexes and ripples with his movements. A ripping sound steals my attention and my eyes widen when I see him rip his shirt into two strips. He grabs my wrists and swiftly ties them to the headboard, ignoring my protests.

Finished, he slides down my body.

I moan at the feel, my body trembling lightly as Eric makes sure to brush against my exposed skin. He pulls a knife out of his pants, slicing the straps of my shirt and bra in one go before slicing the front and pulling it off me. My bare chest is layed out, heaving under his approving gaze.

Despite myself, I am fully aroused and the almost painful throb between my legs is begging for attention. I try to rub my thighs together but Eric grasps them and shoots me a dark look. I freeze, sucking on my bottom lip as I watch him with wide, dark eyes. He lowers his head to my body, brushing his lips teasingly and I arch against him, needing _more._

He tugs my boots off, tossing them away with my socks and moves to my pants. I watch him, panting lightly as arousal spirals through me. He yanks my pants down, heat sparking in me as his fingers brush against my skin as he pulls them off my legs and tosses them away. I clamp my legs shut as his hungry gaze rakes over my lacy black panties that I love to wear. He leans forward but I twist my legs together, sending a clear message.

Eric growls, deep in his chest and the sound is deeper than I have ever heard before. My mouth falls open as I breath faster, my eyes wide as I twist my wrists against his shirt ties. He gives me a hot look, the sex in his eyes making me whine as he grasps my ankles and slowly slides his hands up. I unwrap my legs willingly as his hands slide higher and higher but just as they reach that one spot, he settles between my legs. My breath rushes out of me as he moves back and lowers his face to my sex, taking in a deep breath.

A blush heats my cheeks as he looks heatedly at me. His blue eyes are dark with lust and desire and it drives me wild.

I had dreamed of how delicious he would look, watching me from between my legs but nothing prepared me for the sight. He holds my gaze as he grasps my panties and rips them in two. My eyes widen as more wetness is released in the apex of my thighs. He lowers his gaze to my mound, a possessive light in his eyes as he reaches out and strokes two fingers through my slit, causing me to gasp and arch against the wrist ties.

"Oh, fuck. Eric!" I cry out and he rumbles approvingly.

"See? You don't want anyone else." He growls darkly, his fingers stilling. I whine and push down with my hips but he refuses to move his fingers. "Look how wet you are for me. You're fucking_ gushing_." He groans, and raises his fingers to my lips. I dart forward, nipping and sucking his fingers wetly as I look at him sultrily from under my long lashes. His eyes flare with heat and he pulls his fingers away, his erection straining against the front of his pants. But he pays it no mind, lowering his head closer to my sex.

I watch with wide eyes as he slides a thick finger in, my body clamping down as it feels the intrusion. He fucking _moans, _thrusting another finger in as I mewl in pleasure. His arm comes down on my hips, holding them still as he pulls his fingers out and I toss my head in agitation.

"Eric..please!" I moan and he grins darkly.

"Who do you belong to?" He asks and I stare at him, my chest rising and falling quickly as our gazes hold. "Who. Do. You. Belong. To?" He questions, thrusting his fingers in each time and I bare my teeth at him angrily, refusing to respond. "Wrong answer." He smirks and strokes my clit, fire racing through me. I close my eyes, tugging against the bindings, wishing my hands were free.

"_Eric-_" I breath, infusing all of my lust into that one throaty response. He curses and my eyes fly open as I feel his tongue on me. He gives a broad stroke with his tongue and my eyes roll into the back of my head as my hips strain to move against his iron arm. His tongue teasing the coil in my stomach to quickly tighten. I gasp heavily, the pleasure spiraling through me as he nips and sucks, before moving up and clamping down on my clit. I cry out, arching against him as he sucks on it, his two thick fingers pushing in and pumping at a steady pace. The heat of his mouth is absolutely _perfect_. I writhe against his skilled tongue, cusses and pleads falling from my mouth as he lightly scrapes his teeth on my clit. Pleasure spirals through me, the coil tightening in my stomach.

I arch against Eric, whining as the torture continues. My legs start shaking and I push my hips closer to him, the coil ready to snap as I balance on the edge of _sheer pleasure_. I can feel it building up and I am almost there...and he pulls away.

"Don't stop!" I cry out but he sits up, my wetness glistening on his face as he grabs the back of my thighs and pulls me forward so I have my legs on either side of his lap. My body is pulled tight, my butt almost off the bed as he kneels and he stares down at me, using the tip of a finger to lightly circle my clit.

"Who do you belong to?" He asks huskily, my body straining towards his finger. I toss my head, tugging my wrists but he doesn't move except to unbutton his pants and release his cock. I freeze, staring at the broad head of his penis as he palms it roughly, his body tightening as he strokes himself and lightly strokes my clit. "Well?" He growls, the animalistic sound causing me to tense up.

"Eric, please!" I whine, the coil in my stomach receding. He shrugs his pants off, resuming our position. I allow my gaze to wander down his chest, the muscles stirring the need inside of me to new heights. He pinches my clit and I cry out, my attention back on his fingers as he slowly pushes two in and holds them there. He uses his thumb to rub my clit tortuously slow and I _need him to fuck me._

"Answer me!" He growls again and my eyes fly wide open as I feel the head of his cock brush against my slit. My breath catches in my throat and a high whine slips out as he slowly pushes the broad head in, holding it steady. I can see this is affecting him too as my walls try to pull him farther in but he holds steady, pulling out and circling my slit before popping the head back in. "Who do you belong to?" He snarls, leaning forward and hovering over my body. He nips and sucks at my neck, scraping his teeth over my pulse and I jolt, my hips pushing down and more of his cock slides in.

My mouth falls open and I arch closer to Eric as he tenses, trying to pull out but I clamp down. He swears darkly into my neck and moves down to my nipples, brushing all of my pleasure zones. He teases and drives me higher but never allows more to slip into me. Finally, I give in to him.

"Eric..." I breathe. "I'm _yours._" I purr, nipping his shoulder and Eric freezes before thrusting roughly, setting a deliciously brutal pace as he slams into me over and over. I cry out and arch against him as his girth stretches me out almost painfully. His hips rock against mine, as he slides out and slams back in roughly. Every bump has me mewling in pleasure, his cock so _hot_ inside of me as he drives me to new heights.

"Fuck, you are so _fucking _tight." Eric groans in my ear and the dirty language just turns me on even more as he buries himself in me, bottoming out. His length pulses inside of me as he grinds his hips down on mine, stimulating every pleasure nerve in my body. I moan and push with him, following his hips with mine every time he withdraws and he growls, slamming back in.

"Eric! Fuck, harder babe. _Harder._" I moan and he freezes before reaching up and yanking my wrists free and flipping me over, pulling out and then pushing back in as he holds my arms behind my back. I shout loudly, the new angle letting him slip in deeper as he pulls me back against his chest and physically lifts and slams me down on his cock, reaching deeper each time. He cants his hips forward, driving into me, the pleasure spiraling and then he hits the one spot and I come undone, writhing on his lap and my walls clamping down, milking him for every drop in him as he comes inside of me.

The rush of warmth as he groans gutterally in my ear makes me stay alive though and Eric flips me around, thrusting his tongue in my mouth as he thrusts back inside me. I dig my nails into his shoulders as Eric rises my hips and slams me down on his cock, driving him deeper with each thrust. His fingers dig into my sides as he bites roughly down on the junction between my shoulder and neck I cry out, the orgasm rushing through me again as he continues to fuck me.

He flips me over again, leaving me on my hands and knees as he pulls completely out and slaps my ass as he drives himself back in. I cry out, the pleasure flooding my body almost overwhelmingly as he drives into me, rubbing my clit almost harshly.

"This is what you fucking wanted, isn't it? You want me to fuck you til you _scream_." Eric grinds out, using his grip on my hips to slam me down on his cock. "You want me to brutally fuck you until you pass out, right baby?" He asks huskily and I cry out, mindless pleasure burning me alive.

"_Yess_!" I hiss, arching my hips back so he can reach deeper. "I want you to fuck me til all I can thing about is your _cock._" I moan and Eric freezes.

"Say it again." He demands, flipping me over and I stare at him with wide eyes.

"_I want_ _you_ to _fuck _me until all I think about is your _cock. _Until all I know is _I. Am. Yours."_ I whisper into his ear and he drives himself into me, his restraint snapping. I writhe underneath him as he drives into me, reaching farther and he bites down on the spot on my neck. I mewl loudly, raking my nails down his back and driving him wild.

His back flexes powerfully as he pistons into me roughly, his cock pulling the pleasure out of me as I cum several times. But Eric isn't sated until I bite down on his shoulder, my teeth breaking the skin and he drives into me one last time before warmth shoots into me as he comes again.

Breathing heavily, Eric drops down on my chest and I weakly wiggle a little before he shifts and pulls back a little, his head on my chest. I fall still, the both of us breathing heavily.

"Fuck, Eric." I whisper and a proud smirk crosses his face.

"We should take a shower." He rumbles and I nod, a sated feeling washing over me as he softens inside of me. A yawn breaks free from me and my eyes flutter closed. "Damn, one more round and I could have literally fucked you unconscious." Eric teases huskily and my body clamps down around him. He hisses, his hands tightening on my waist as he hardens again. "Again?" He questions, lifting himself off of me and sliding deeper inside. I arch my back, a mewl slipping out as my dazed eyes flutter open. "Fucking insatiable." He mutters, but I can hear the pleased edge in his voice.

Eric slowly pulls out and thrusts back in before slowly pulling out again.

I am more awake as he relentlessly teases me to an orgasm, his long, thick cock bringing the pleasure out of my body. I moan under him as he uses his thumb to press down on my clit, the pleasure jolting through me.

"You like that? You like me touching you?" Eric asks lowly and I nod, biting down on my lip as my body arches against his.

"Fuck yes. Fuck!" I cry out as he thrusts back in, my body bowing under us as my orgasm reaches me. He pulls out and thrusts back in two more times before stiffening as he comes inside of me again. Darkness flickers on the edge of my vision as he slides out of me, my sensitive muscles twitching.

"Damn you are sensitive." He says, moving his fingers down and stroking my slit. I moan, growing wet again and he watches incredulously as my libido stirs and I fuck his fingers. He pushes his digits in and curls them. I cry out, his fingers causing bursts of color to light behind my eyes as they flutter shut. His mouth descends on mine, our tongues twisting together as Eric slides into me again.

I wrap my legs around his waist as we start our fourth round. Because of my many orgasms, I am more sensitive and it doesn't take long for me to clamp down around Eric, raking my nails down his chest. He tenses against me, but keeps rocking forward in me. Sated, I pull his head down, speaking into his ear.

"_Fuck, Eric..._I'm _yours. _No one else's. _Yours. Fuck me harder._" I moan breathily into his ear and Eric pistons in harder, almost there.

"_Mine._" He growls and I bite down on his shoulder again. He growls as he rocks to a finish, our mixed cum slipping down our legs as he collapses beside me. Tired and pleased by Eric's prowess, I slip into slumber.

Finally thoroughly fucked.

**XXX**

Warmth surrounds me as I stir sleepily.

"You finally awake?" Eric says huskily, his morning voice sounding absolutely sinful. I moan and roll over, burying my head under the pillow. "You still tired?" He asks and I nod sleepily, just _knowing_ he has that superior smirk on his face. I roll my eyes under the pillow and stretch out, my supple body flexing and stretching. Eric groans and a pleased smirk crosses my face, partially because of how sore I feel.

"Damn, you did a number on me." I mutter, turning over and facing him. Morning after sex Eric is a sight to see. His blond hair is tousled sexily, his blue eyes calm and smug, a smirk on his lips. He is sitting up against the headboard, the black sheets pooled around his waist and his chest bare. Pride zings through me as I see the nail marks on his pecs, scratches down his chest and the bite mark I left on his neck. I stretch out on my back, lazily lounging on the bed as Eric scrolls through his tablet. "What time is it?" I ask, twisting to look up at him.

His heated gaze travels over my lithe form.

I remember how I looked in the mirror a few days ago. When I first arrived here, I was small and carried myself with an air of self-confidence but at the same time, self-doubt. My hair was thin and dull, my eyes shadowed. And while I wasn't overweight or chubby, I still had extra body fat that a person gets from a comfortable life style. But now?

My body is every guys wet dream. My legs are firm and muscled, leading up to shapely hips and a smooth, taut belly. My skin has tattoos that show me fierce and the piercing I got on my hip catches eyes constantly. My waist has toned out and curves in before flaring out at my chest. My boobs aren't huge but they are nothing to scoff at, swelling enticingly. My chest leads up to toned arms and shoulders and a slender neck. My face has been stripped of any lingering baby fat and I am all angular lines.

My cheekbones could cut glass, the thin scar set high on my right cheekbone only making me seem fiercer. My nose piercing and lip piercings add to the fierce persona. My eyebrows are naturally full but they aren't bushy and arch naturally, the silvery scar going through my left eyebrow by the hoop piercing giving character. My hair is full and sleek, the curls falling down my back in a sleek waterfall.

Is it any wonder Eric is so possessive over me?

He sets down his tablet and pulls me to him, making me straddle his lap. His cock is standing straight up and I smirk, reaching down and pumping it once. He hisses, his abs tightening at the sensation and I look at him sultrily from under my eyelashes.

I grip the base, twisting and using my other hand to circle the tip of his throbbing erection. His head falls back and he groans, thrusting into my hands. I cock my head and watch him slowly unravel under my stroking palms. Fascination thrums through me as I tease him closer to the edge before slipping off the bed and moving towards his bathroom.

"What the fuck?" Eric growls behind me and I turn in the doorway, a sultry gleam in my eyes.

"Last night I vividly remember you mention something about a shower." I raise my eyebrow suggestively and saunter into the room, adding a sway to my hips. Not hearing him move, I turn with a flash of disappointment, stepping back with shock as I come face to face with his brawny chest.

"Let's shower." He grins wolfishly down at me, grasping my waist and tossing me over his shoulder, splaying his large palm on my smooth ass and kneading it as he turns the water on. As the steam fills the good sized room, Eric sets me down, advancing on my lithe form. I stand my ground, staring him boldly in the eyes. Anticipation stirs in my veins as he uses his larger chest to push me against the wall. I shiver, the cool plaster a shock to my heated body. My erect nipples are firmly pressed to his strong chest and he smirks, keeping his heated gaze locked on mine as his fingers travel up my side and splay out on my back before he yanks me closer. He runs his nose down my neck and his lips press firmly to where my pulse is beating wildly. "Such a little cock tease." He says roughly in my ear, wetness gathering between my legs.

"But you-oh!" I gasp arching into his body as his fingers slip behind my ass, stroking my slit roughly. "Fuck- you clearly like it." I moan breathily into his ear, digging my nails into his forearms as I pant, struggling to stay standing as he scraps his teeth over the slim column of my throat and relentlessly strokes me higher. He backs me into the shower, the water heating me up even more as it slides over and between our bodies.

He hums against my throat, marking me thoroughly before raising his head and staring into my eyes. His steely eyes are dark with lust and appreciation as they trail over my body. His hands wander and freeze as I decide to return the favor. I hold his gaze as I grab the soap and rub it over his chest, smoothing it over his nipples and down his rippling abs. I lightly scrape my nails and he tenses, his hands slipping down to cup my butt. I kneel down, looking at him from under my lashes as I wash his legs, continuously missing his erection. His hands wind in my dark curls and he tugs insistently, wetting his lips as he fixes his gaze on me.

His eyes narrow as I grip him at the base, using the flat of my tongue to swipe the pre-cum off. He curses, leaning back against the wall as his hands tighten in my hair. I suck the tip idly, twisting my hands around his length as I lazily bring him to a finish. He thrusts further into my mouth, an almost painful grip on my hair as his seed spills into my mouth. I swallow rapidly, before languidly cleaning him with my tongue. Little swipes and nips have him rising quickly again. I smirk with pride as I slowly rise against his body, before gesturing for him to get on his knees; the shampoo in my hands.

He tenses but slowly lowers to his knees, allowing me to move behind him. I use the slick soap to ruffle his longer blonde hair on top, scraping my nails through the shorter buzz on the sides. For a moment, I just enjoy this moment as I play with his longer hair. I playfully tug before using the water and rinsing the soap out. I move in front of him to make sure I got all of the soap, gasping as he yanks my hips closer to his face.

He buries his lips between my hips, nipping and sucking. I gasp, crumbling backwards and he rises, effortlessly lifting me so my back is to the wall. The heated water pours over us as I arch my back into his face, damn near _purring_ at the waves of pleasure flooding through me. My legs are hooked over his shoulders as he holds me by my ass, kneading absently as he focuses on lashing my clit with his _very_ skilled tongue.

It doesn't take long for me to come undone, writhing on his shoulders as he slowly slips my body down his. His erection is _right there_, teasing my slit. I arch against Eric, his eyes falling half-mast as he slowly pushes into me. My mouth falls open as I _melt_ into him, his erection settling into me; fitting like a glove. I instinctively clench down on him, causing a strangled groan to escape Eric. I smirk playfully, arching my back and digging the heels of my feet into his lower back.

"Move, Eric!" I demand, my breathless voice taking some of the fire out of the command. He smirks before grasping my hips and slowly withdrawing. My eyes roll into the back of my head at the sensation as he brushes every part of me before roughly thrusting back in. "Shit, oh my god, fuck. Harder." I moan, his length pulsing pleasingly inside of me as he grinds into my clit, causing me to arch and cry out.

"See? I know how you like it." Eric purrs, his heavy lidded blue eyes watching me with barely hidden fascination as he undoes me in seconds. I cry out, flexing my nails and digging them into his chest. He growls before withdrawing and slamming into my core, moving harder and faster before stilling as he twitches inside of me and warmth spills out. I relax against his muscled form, my hands slipping up and burying in his blond hair, clenching into fists as we kiss.

Our tongues tease and twist as we tilt our heads to the side. The kiss deepens as Eric hardens inside of me, grasping my butt and lifting me as he pistons back in. I bite down on his lip, tugging as he rolls his hips into me. He grasps a fistful of my hair and tugs my head back, dominating my mouth. His tongue sweeps through my mouth as he relentlessly slams into me, the pleasure drowning me.

I moan and mewl into his mouth as Eric teases another orgasm out of me. He grins briefly against my mouth before shuddering and thrusting a last time before he pulls out, sated for the moment.

**XXX**

I purse my lips, tilt my head to the side and narrow my eyes as I stare at my ruined shirt and bra. I slowly turn, the offending items dangling off my pointer finger as I prop my other hand on my waist. Eric grins with pride as he shrugs, unrepentant.

"What the hell am I supposed to wear now?" I snap, my eyes flaring angrily and Eric rolls his eyes, striding over to his drawers and pulls something out, flinging it at me. I pick it up, cocking an eyebrow at him as I hold the black sports bra in one hand. "Do I even want to know why you even have this?" I ask, rhetorically as I slip it on. It is a little small and my boobs swell out of the top more than usual. Eric's steely eyes darken as they sweep over my form lustfully. I roll my eyes and slip my black cargo pants on, stuffing my ruined bra and shirt into a pocket on the side as I secure the belt. I bend down, grabbing my boots and freeze.

Eric leans over my back, his cock nestled against my ass as he winds a fist in my hair, tugging my head back. I arch against his chest as his other hand wanders down my front, slipping into my pants quickly. My eyes fly open as he sinks two thick fingers into me, curving and stroking.

"You can ask if you want." He rumbles against my back, his bulky frame tense against my own as he strokes me deeper. I moan, the pleasure sweeping through me but I know what he is doing. He is trying to distract me from asking more. I mentally roll my eyes as I fuck his fingers. I don't really care. I shake my head against his chest, the pleased rumble causing the coil in my stomach to snap. I pant against him for a moment as he languidly strokes me before pulling his fingers out and spinning me around, claiming my mouth. "Good." He says roughly before moving past me and pulling a shirt on.

I pull in deep breaths as I hook my belly chain on, the silver glinting over my toned stomach. My phoenix chain swings out as I bend to tie my boots and I frown as I pick it up, the rest of the silver chain sliding out of my pocket. I glance at Eric as I secure it around my neck, knowing he slipped it off of me sometime last night. I bite my lip as I secure my leather band around my wrist and slip on my black lace, finger-less gloves over my hands. I am going to have to talk with Eric. I sigh silently as I rise, moving to the mirror and checking my hair.

A vain smirk curls around my lips as I ruffle my sexed up hair, a pleased gleam in my eyes. I tilt my chin to the side, running a finger over the bite mark on my skin between my neck and shoulder. I roll my eyes at the possessive mark, conveniently forgetting the matching one I left on Eric. I turn, ready to leave. Eric frowns, a dark look entering his eyes as he scans my form.

"You are not going out in that." He growls, seeing the amount of skin left bare on my top half. I raise an eyebrow at him, sweeping a lazy hand over my lithe form.

"Last _I_ recalled-" I drawl. "You destroyed my shirt." I finish and he scowls, striding to his closet and yanking a black leather jacket out, tossing it at me. I catch it and eye it before slipping it on as I see his firm stance at the door. I unzip it, pushing the sleeves up to my elbows and striding to him. His eyes darken angrily as I refuse to zip it shut but he clenches his jaw and lets it slide. I pause in front of the door and turn to Eric, needing to get this out.

"What?" He growls, back to his icy, dickey self. A satisfied expression gleams in my eyes and he clenches his jaw in confusion.

"Just to clarify. This doesn't change anything." I gesture between the two of us, my walls slipping back into place. "This was physical and will not impact us emotionally. We aren't suddenly 'in love' and as long as this _stays_ physical, I would be more than willing to have a repeat session." I finish, his stoic expression not wavering through my little speech. An unknown emotion flashes through his eyes before he nods curtly.

"Agreed." He rumbles, _his_ walls firmly in place as I nod back.

"Good." I say, visibly pleased as I turn and stride out.

**XXX**

We move to the Pit, entering together.

Silence falls for a brief second before the noise level roars up, higher than it was before. I roll my eyes as Ellie waves me over, splitting from Eric without a second glance back. Ellie bounces in her seat, Ander's arm over her shoulder moving with her until he finally just withdraws it with a fond smirk.

"It finally happened!" She squeals, the moment I sit down. I arch an eyebrow at her, amusement thrumming through me.

"How the hell do you even know?" I question and she smirks.

"Hello?! You have a hickey on your neck, that jacket is not yours and you are more relaxed than I have seen you since Roman left." She reels off, not pausing to take a breath and Ander laughs.

"Pause babe, you need to breathe." He reminds her and she rolls her eyes, smiling sweetly at him. I wrinkle my nose at the adorable pair and pick up his apple.

"You're right. It did happen." I tell her nonchalantly and bite into the crisp apple. Her eyes widen and she whips her head to stare at me. She bounces eagerly in her seat, Izzy sliding in beside her and giving me a confused look. I roll my eyes and tilt my head to the side, showing her the bite mark. Her eyes widen and a pleased smirk crosses her face. Her and Ellie high-five and I roll my eyes at them, shaking my head fondly.

"So? How was it?" Izzy prompts, leaning forward. Abruptly, the guys choke on their food/drinks and scramble to get up, mumbling about 'things' they needed to do. Snickering, Ellie, Izzy, Tabby, Misty, Violette, Sasha, Raven and Emily scoot closer; anticipation in their eager eyes. I snort with laughter as I lean in.

"So, you guys know how Eric is, right? Imagine that in bed." I tease and lean back, buttering a piece of toast and taking a bite out of it as they stare at me.

"Details, woman, I need details!" Emily bursts out, brown eyes gleaming. I choke on my toast, laughing behind a hand as they mummer in agreement.

"Like what?" I question and they exchange glances.

"How many times did you guys..." Misty asks, raising her eyebrows suggestively. A pleased smirk curls on my lips and her eyes widen as they shift in their seats.

"Four..." I tell them and Raven chokes on her drink as she lowers it. They stare at me with wide eyes and I smirk as I sip from my cup. "...last night. Then this morning-" I bite into my apple, finishing it off as they watch me with wide eyes.

"Well?" Tabby asks, hazel-gold eyes gleaming curiously. I smirk at her, slowly chewing the tart apple and swallowing. I raise the apple but before I can take another bite, Violette narrows her eyes at me.

"Take another bite and we will kill you!" She threatens teasingly and I snicker at them, raising my hands in submission.

"Fine, fine!" I grumble. "After the four last night, there was two more times...in the shower." I grin wickedly as Ellie flushes pink, matching Raven and Sasha. I tilt my head to the side curiously. "Have you guys-?" I ask and Tabby nods along with Misty, Violette and Emily. We watch the three other girls. Ellie, Sasha and Raven shrug their shoulders, avoiding our eyes. "_Never_?" I could kick myself for the sheer shock showing in my voice as Ellie and the two others flinch and blush. "Sorry but- wow. I would have thought you and Ander would be breeding like crazy!" I joke and Ellie rolls her eyes, playing with her fork.

"Nah. We've come close but I haven't been ready yet." She mumbles, shrugging her shoulder. A flare of protectiveness rises in me and I exchange looks with Tabby, Izzy, Misty, Violette and Emily.

"He hasn't tried to_ force_ you has he?" I ask and her head shoots up.

"No!" She cries, blushing furiously and we nod.

"Good. Because then we would have to kill him." Misty says and we exchange agreeing looks.

"And that goes for you guys too." Tabby says, pointing at Sasha and Raven. They blush, nodding and I grin.

"Now, I feel it is my duty to inform you guys of the inner workings of the bedroom..." I go into extreme detail, their shock holding them captive as Izzy assists me with vulgar gestures. We laugh as they hide their faces and I grin. "Wait, did you know that if you do this-" I twist my hands and their eyes widen with shock. "They just melt? Seriously, I did that to Eric and he couldn't hold himself back." I tell them, a proud glint in my eyes as they start squealing and trying to get away. Laughing, we drag them back and continue their sexual education.

**XXX**

Grinning, I wave to my group as I leave them and head over to the table where the Leaders usually eat.

Eric glances up as I slide in to seat beside him, a little closer than I normally sit. He stiffens at the glint in my eyes but I just blink innocently, a smirk playing on my lips as I turn to the rest of the table.

"Good morning." I greet them, resting my hand on Eric's leg under the table. His form stiffens even more and I hide my grin in his cup as I sip his coffee. I wrinkle my nose at the strong, black coffee and he snatches it from my hands; taking a large gulp. I roll my eyes, simultaneously moving my hand higher up his leg. His thigh tenses under my hand as I turn to Max. "What am I doing today?" I ask the dark-skinned man, my hand inching closer to Eric's sudden erection.

"Today you will be working with Sienna again. You two will be doing check ups. By that I mean making sure the storage's are fully stocked: food, weapons, clothes, etc. Nothing too exciting. After that, you will be going with Angel to do the points. You are to ensure the points are being distributed where they are supposed to be and not to the wrong people." Max tells me and I nod, exchanging an excited look with Sienna, who smirks back. She has to be my favorite Dauntless Leader. Sienna is pretty cool. She is smart and Dauntless. I strive to be like her but like me at the same time.

For example, I am pretty sure she would never tease Eric under the table like I am.

I steal a few fries off of Conner's plate, drawing him into conversation about Candor while I gently run my nails over the bulge in Eric's pants. A pleased smirk crosses my face as I notice he is bending the fork in his hand in an effort to not react. I turn back to Conner, slipping my fingers under Eric's shirt. He abruptly stands, nodding stiffly at Max and the others before striding away. I steal his toast, snickering to myself mischievously. Max raises an eyebrow while Sienna tries to send me a disapproving look but grinning anyway.

I grin, pulling out my tablet and noticing a few messages.

_~ We have the dart bullets. All 8 units. I placed it in the first room where our weapons are going to be. - Izayah.~_

_~ Roscoe and Elliot were having another problem today that almost resulted in blows. I have sent them back to the Wall but don't be surprised if you see them at the Battle Grounds in a week. - Mikenna. ~_

_~ Get fucking Roscoe and Elliot under control. They came to blows and almost hit Mikenna. - Sabbath. ~_

_~ The first, second and third rooms are all done and ready to be used. Rooms four and five are posing a problem. - Izayah ~_

_~ You should probably know that a few drunk Dauntless soldiers decided to trash room 1. They are in the infirmary. Doc said they won't be out until he knows I won't kill them. You should probably handle them. - Izayah ~_

_~ Room one is cleaned and back in order. I am thinking we should set alarms and cameras in the rooms. What do you think? - Izayah ~_

I sigh, quickly letting Sabbath know I will deal with Roscoe and Elliot tomorrow.

I don't bother responding to Mikenna, knowing Sabbath will show her the message I sent him. Then I pause over Izayah's messages. I narrow my blue eyes, tapping my fingers on the table top. I have the bullets, so I can go ahead with the what I was planning with those. I send him a quick message telling him to send me the info on what exactly is wrong with the last two rooms. The last two messages pose a problem.

I bite down harshly on my lip. Anger stirs in me at the thought of two drunk soldiers ruining all of my hard work.

I release my throbbing lip as I skip past that message and focus on the last one. Cameras and alarms. I nod absently, letting him know I already ordered some from Erudite and they will be here by tomorrow, Friday at the latest. Messages sent, I look up from my tablet and focus on Max.

"Two drunk soldiers trashed my first room that I plan on using in the Beastly Battles Tournaments. What is your recommendation?" I ask him and he narrows his eyes thoughtfully.

"This is concerning your project. You deal with it and let me know what you decide." Max says and I nod, a smirk curling on the corners of my mouth. He laughs, shaking his head and getting up. "And try not to kill them." He adds before striding away with Angel.

"If you want to kill them, you could always just flirt with them in front of Eric-" Conner yelps as I elbow him in the side, laughing at his suggestion. "Just think it over!" He teases before jogging away, glancing down at his tablet. I shake my head at him, looking at Sienna.

"Ready?" She asks, getting up and I nod, grabbing my tablet and walking with her. "Which storage's should we check first?" She asks me carefully and I realize this is a test. I think it over for a second before responding confidently.

"Food, then weapons and then clothes, etcetera." I respond and she grasps my arm, swinging us around and starting off in the opposite direction. Laughing, I jog after her as we head to the kitchen. She jogs confidently through the doors, nodding at a few of the people bustling around back there and over to Cookie. "Hi Cookie!" I greet the woman as she orders her cooks around. She smiles warmly at me before snapping her towel at a girl and snapping her on the shoulder. The girl jumps and rushes to cut up some onions.

"Hey girl, whatcha need? More caramel onions?" She asks playfully and I shake my head, laughing.

"Not this time. No, as part of my Leader in training duties, I have been assigned the task of checking the storage spaces. I need to see what we have and what we need." I explain and she nods, leading Sienna and I away from the kitchen. She takes us to her storage, reeling off lists of what we have and what we need. I nod, typing it all down into my tablet and saving it then sending it to each of the Dauntless Leaders. I hold my tablet to my side, smiling thankfully at the excellent cook. "Thank you for you help, Cookie." I tell her sincerely and she softens, handing the both of us a wrapped piece of chocolate cake with a wink and leaving to go back to the kitchen.

"Score!" Sienna cheers, taking a bite out of hers as we head to the weapons storage's. "You're good, Paz! Cookie hardly ever gives out extra cake!" She tells me, moaning as she takes another bite of the moist chocolate cake. I grin at her as I unwrap mine and pop a small piece in my mouth. I almost melt, that is how good it is.

I get my notes and then split off from Sienna, jogging back to the Pit and meeting Angel. She rolls her eyes when she sees me and then brushes past me, silently leading me to the COO. I enter the Dauntless Leaders Headquarters and take a seat at one of the tables as another guy joins us.

"Angel." He greets her respectfully, barely glancing at me. I have to rein myself in before I bristle. This is to be expected. Angel has been here longer and has her friends and supporters. I can't afford to alienate them. "The points for the Wall soldiers are expected. They will receive their points of 100 a day..."

I make my notes and save them, splitting off from Angel when I am done and jogging up to my BBT rooms.

Turning as I enter the first room, Izayah grins and jogs over to me.

"Hey Paz, it's a good thing you are here. I would have sent you a message but I can't detail the things that are wrong with the last two rooms in a message. I will just have to show you." Izayah tells me and I nod, walking with the silver-eyed man. We enter the fourth room (the one dedicated to Hand-to-Hand combat) and I smile when I see Mikenna and Sabbath. He nods curtly at me, his arms crossed over his chest as his protective gaze lingers on his wife.

"So what is wrong?" I ask, turning to my closest adviser in this project.

"First, we don't have enough room." He tells me and I nod, raising an eyebrow.

"Just get a team in here and knock out the back wall. We have room to do that. As far as I know, the room behind here isn't being used." I tell him and he nods, marking it down in his tablet and telling me what else is wrong.

* * *

You guys are amazing! Seriously, I love my readers/reviewers/followers! So the rewards thing for this time is:

1 review - a bonding scene with the guys of the group

5 reviews - special leader-in-training lesson

10 reviews - let's find out...

Lauren - Thanks for your review!

Ash - Hey, glad you reviewed!

Jessica - Thanks for that, did you like what I created?

Guest - Hi, thanks for reviewing!

Guest - Thank you for saying that, I really appreciate it!

Guest - Yeaaaah, he didn't quite spank her. Maybe later?

Guest - Thank you!

anmcrea - Wow, I know how that can feel so thanks for letting me know!

Guest - I hope you continue reading my story!

MyhusbandsaPRICK - Yeah, that lap dance just hit me one night. I wasn't even on the computer and this song came on (Worth It by the Weekend) and the scene just played itself out in my head. There was no way in hell I wasn't going to include it! Thank you so much!

yasminplattx - Thank you, the plot does sort of catch me up some times so I am glad you like it!

laser97 - Agreed! The teasing is all the fun!

Guest - Sorry, no spanking but you and two others did want that so maybe soon...but, on the plus side you guessed he would tie her up!

_And last but never least, a big thank you to those of you that fav/followed my story!_

sPaRkzZz, yasminplattx, Obsessedlajrmom, Silver Katsuyami, and anmcrea

Just remember- a Review _**will**_ equal a Preview!


	14. Chapter 14

A/N: Disclaimer: I don't own the Divergent world. I only own Pazia. (Pronounced: Pah-ze-ah.) All outfits are on my profile. This story is set after Four and Eric became Dauntless but the year before Tris became Dauntless.

**_Rating:_** _M_

**_Word_**_** Count:** 7, 405_

**Chapter Fourteen**

* * *

_**Previously on Battle Scars:**_

_"First, we don't have enough room." He tells me and I nod, raising an eyebrow._

_"Just get a team in here and knock out the back wall. We have room to do that. As far as I know, the room behind here isn't being used." I tell him and he nods, marking it down in his tablet and telling me what else is wrong._

* * *

And I thought _I _was insatiable.

Eric moves in me roughly, his hands burning into my hips as he drives in harder. I arch against him, panting heavily as his thick girth stretches me perfectly and hits _all the right places_. I clamp down on him, not wanting him to withdraw and Eric curses in my ear, the sweat gleaming on his brawny shoulders as he forcefully pulls out and_ slams_ back in.

"Ah! Fuck, Eric!" I moan, writhing underneath him as he takes the pleasure from us. I catch a glimpse of his cocky smirk before he pulls my head back and bites down on my neck. This time when I clamp down, it is because of the overwhelming orgasm as the coil snaps and I lose myself to a haze of pleasure.

Eric orgasms and shudders as his warmth spills into me.

He pulls out and rolls over, out of breath. I turn my head and look at him, seeing the look in his eyes. He is angry. Pissed off.

Raising an eyebrow, I decide to distract him some more. This time, so much he can't think of anything but _now_.

I sigh a little loudly, stretching my body enticingly. He doesn't notice, too busy typing into his tablet angrily. Rolling my eyes, I kick the covers off, causing him to glare at me with steel eyes. Before he can look away, I adopt a teasing look; running my nails teasingly down his thigh.

He tenses underneath the sensual touch, his attention firmly on me.

"What are you doing?" He asks roughly and it only serves to arouse me. I cock my head to the side, a flash of my throat showing submissively. Irritation and caution light up his eyes but I can _see _how I am affecting him. His cock twitches, as if sensing I am looking and a wry smirk lights up my eyes.

"Nothing." I respond teasingly, running my hand lightly down his chest as I roll so I am pressed right against his side. I arch into him, supple as a cat and he responds; a hand clamping down on my waist. I look at him from under my lashes, brushing my breasts against his arm.

His blue eyes flare with a dark light as he tosses the tablet carelessly and rolls over onto me, pinning me down.

"What are you doing?" He asks, dipping his nose down my chest and closing his lips on a nipple and tugging. I curve into him, lightly panting as he laves my nipples. I whine, wrapping my legs around his and pulling him closer. The hot head of his erection presses right at my slit and I moan. Eric bites down on my breast and I jolt, the slight pain only pushing me for _more_.

"Don't you want to see what I was doing?" I breathe sultrily, reaching my head up and nipping at his neck.

Abruptly, his weight is gone and I crush the automatic disappointment. He lounges lazily against the headboard, looking so unaffected it isn't _fair_. So I decide to _make him respond._ Straddling him, I hold his gaze while I run my nails up and down his chest, pressing harshly and then with only the lightest of touches.

Leaning forward, my stomach brushes his cock and he mutters an oath, glaring darkly as he brings his hands up to my waist. I shake my head at him and he clenches his jaw but drops his hands anyway. I smirk happily and he surges forward but I roll to the side. He stills for a moment, clenching his fists as I crawl behind him and rest my hands on his shoulders.

He turns his head, his blue-gray gaze boring into mine.

I lean forward and press a hot kiss to his spine. Running my hands down his back, I gently scratch as I reach around and run teasing hands down him. Circling him, I press back on his chest and he falls back, watching as I kneel between his legs. I lower my head, pressing hot kisses to his thighs and nipping. He gets impossibly harder as I dig my nails into his thighs and nip at the same time.

I trace a path down his body, the muscles and dips bunching and shivering under my attention as I suck and nip. His chest rises and falls as he breaths faster, his steel eyes locked on mine. I open my mouth and press a kiss to his hip, deliberately biting down. He fucking _shivers_ and I decide to reward him.

Finally reaching the one spot he wants, I grip the base in my hand and he tenses. The effect I am having on him is only arousing me more but I ignore the throbbing between my legs for now. I lower my head and suck the tip gently in my mouth and he lets out a dark curse, clenching his fists.

Slowly, ever so slowly, I slide my head down his cock; letting my spit lube him up. I look at him sweetly from under my dark lashes as I give him head and it affects him more than he would later care to ever admit. Humming lightly around him, I cup his balls in my hand; rolling them lightly. His _whole body _tenses up and he clenches fistfuls of the blankets. Raising my head, I let him slip through my lips as I press the flat of my tongue and swipe up his length a few times.

Sliding a hand down my smooth stomach, I slowly slip two fingers in myself; arching at the sensation as I go down on him again. Eric's eyes stay locked on mine and he moves a hand up to my hair, clenching a fistful and tugging back. I clamp down on his cock, swallowing my throat rhythmically. He is almost too big to fit in my throat and the last couple of inches I use my other hand to circle and squeeze.

The thrill of having him at my control is...intoxicating.

A nip here, a squeeze there and he is clamping a hand down on the back of my head and cumming instantly. I choke a little but swallow his cum, the slightly salty taste making me wrinkle my nose a little but it isn't all that bad. He tugs and I let him slip through my mouth as Eric sweeps his tongue thoroughly in my mouth. He pushes three fingers into me and I arch, moaning into his mouth as he quickly brings me to an orgasm, rubbing his thumb on my clit.

Dazed when he finally pulls away, it takes me a moment to react.

Seeing the new appreciation in his steel blue-gray eyes, I smile breathlessly and roll onto my side.

We don't cuddle.

Ever.

It is a rule for the both of us.

So when he wakes up with me draped across his heated chest or I wake up with his large arm around my waist and settled in the curve of his body; we just silently remove ourselves and roll over, going back to sleep.

This is not an emotional thing.

And even if we wanted it to be, neither of us would know how to have it that way. Well, _I would_ but I don't want this to be emotional. Ignoring the not-so-small part of me that says I am lying, I close my eyes firmly. I almost don't feel the fingers Eric brushes down my back. My eyes shoot open as he twirls a curl around his finger and I tense a little. I look back at his blank gaze, uncertain. The emotion just pisses me off though so I pull away from him and press closer to the wall, _feeling _his annoyance at himself for reaching out and at _me_ for pulling away.

Feeling a flash of emotion, I firmly shove it away and let myself slip into sleep.

**XXX**

"Are you ready for the Battle Grounds today?" Sienna asks the second I sit down at the table. Raising a dark eyebrow, I give her an unimpressed look that causes her to laugh. "Right, I forgot you don't get excited about_ anything_." She teases as Eric sits down across the table. He smirks, steel eyes locking on mine.

"I wouldn't be too sure about that." He says casually and Sienna chokes on her drink, coughing crazily. Laughing, I watch her with bright eyes.

"Was that a joke?!" She asks with shock, staring at Eric with wide eyes.

"Eric doesn't joke." I say dismissively, my eyes moving past them as I search the room. I spot Ellie and Ander making out as Raza makes faces and a smile spreads across my face. I search past them, distractedly nodding a greeting at Conner.

"He isn't here." Eric says darkly, correctly guessing who I am searching for. Snapping my gaze to his, I frown.

"Where is he?" I ask and Eric stiffens, his shoulders bunching as possessive anger brews in his eyes.

"On patrol." He says shortly and I clench my jaw but let the subject drop. Normally Jett visits me before he leaves. I feel a flash of shame as I realize I have been neglecting him. Eric consumes my time and attention and that is dangerous. It means we could be getting in over our heads. Frowning, I stare sightless down at my food; good mood gone.

"Who are you talking about?" Sienna asks, breaking into my pensive mood. Raising my gaze to hers, I ignore the tense air around Eric. I don't care. I _shouldn't_ care. And neither should he.

"Jett." Automatically a fond smirk crosses my face as I think of my dark haired best friend.

"Isn't that the hot guy you were dating before Eric?" Sienna asks and I tilt my head to the side, rolling my dark blue eyes.

"Jett and I never dated and neither are Eric and I." I respond a little curtly, bristling at her choice of description and she backs off, sensing a danger zone. Eric's glare grows darker as he catches my possessive bristle. Izayah slides into the seat beside me, dropping an arm around my shoulders in a half hug. I smile at him, nudging his shoulder with mine as I drop my fork and turn my attention to him.

"Sup, 'Zia?" He asks teasingly, flashing a charming grin. I roll my eyes but a reluctant smile tugs at my lips.

"Was there something you wanted?" I ask him and he nods, tugging my hair and stealing a piece of toast.

"Yeah, just wanted to let you know Roscoe and Elliot are going to be at the Battle Grounds today. And not by choice. Sabbath is literally going to_ drag_ them there." Izayah informs me and I laugh, knowing the burly guy will actually do it. "Says he's gonna force them to fight each other and _then_ fight him. He had murder in his eyes." Izayah says a little somberly and I nod, biting down on my pierced lip.

"Right, that's gonna be a problem. Thanks for letting me know." I tell him, pulling my tablet out and making a note in it. Saving it, I put the sleek metal away as Izayah's tablet chimes. Shooting a dark look at the arm around my shoulders, Eric turns his glare to Izayah. To his everlasting credit, he only flinches a little but doesn't remove his arm.

"You gonna get that?" Eric growls and Izayah shrugs, giving me the feeling he is hiding a little behind me. I hide a secret smile as the two males face off.

"Nah, it's just her note. I get everything she puts in her tablet." Eric snaps his glower at me and I meet him steadily, raising an eyebrow at him. His brawny form ripples with power and barely leashed anger.

"Problem?" I question icily, ignoring the way Sienna is silently trying to warn me not to push him. There is not a lot of people in Dauntless that will challenge Eric but apparently I am one of them. Must be my suicidal tendencies that like to pop up every so often.

"Your tablets are synced." He states and I nod, unconcerned.

"Izayah is my right hand man. My best soldier. He knows what I know." I respond and Eric gives a dark glare at the way I said that Izayah was _my _soldier. I meet his gaze steadily, refusing to back down. This is not an emotional thing. He finally clenches his jaw and turns away, pulling out his tablet.

I refuse to feel guilty, instead getting up and tugging Izayah with me as I stride away. I refuse to look back, feeling Eric's gaze boring into my shoulders. I hold myself strong as we leave the Pit and stride away.

**XXX**

Finally finished with fixing room four, I invite Izayah with me to the Battle Grounds.

"Unless you are going to be too busy screwing your latest girl?" I ask teasingly, raising a non-judging eyebrow. He smirks in a ridiculously pleased way but shakes his head.

"Nah, I moved on from her. I'm still searching for a new girl." He says and I laugh as we traverse the tunnels at a light job.

"Honestly, how these girls keep falling for your charm; already knowing your reputation is beyond me." I joke and he laughs deeply as we take a turn.

"It's because they all think they will be the one to 'change' me." He mocks and I snicker at the contempt in his eyes. But personally, I think one of these girls already did change him and these conquests are his desperate ways to forget her. As he stares straight ahead, I examine the solemn look on his face. "Stop that." He says, semi-seriously as he turns his head to me. I raise an eyebrow at him as we enter the Pit and move through the crowds towards the Leaders panel.

"Stop what?" I ask, genuinely curious and he gestures to me.

"That. The look. It feels like I am under an x-ray and you are picking me apart." He answers and I grin mockingly.

"You poor thing!" I coo and he rolls his eyes, shoving my shoulder while I laugh. Jogging up the steps to the other leaders, I nod at Max and hug Sienna.

"How's it going?" She asks, leaning against the iron railing. The leaders panel isn't actually a panel. It is just the second floor platform we stand on when we make announcements.

"Horribly." Izayah says instantly, at the same time I say, "Perfectly." I give him a dark glare and elbow him in the side, causing him to yelp and rub his ribs. I instantly flash a sweet grin, my pseudo brother rolling his eyes at me; unable to stop the smile from spreading across his face.

"Bitch." He mutters and I laugh.

"Ass-face." I retort and he stares at me incredulously.

"That isn't even a real curse! You can't use that!" He mutters and I stick my tongue out, the silver piercing glinting in the light.

"I just did." I respond and smirk as he shakes his head at me.

"Are we ready to start?" Eric rumbles and I nod, my bright grin not fading. He blinks, a little thrown and I wrinkle my nose cutely while Izayah mock-gags. My hand flashes out and I smack the back of his head. He jerks back, rubbing the spot with a pout.

"Oops."

"Damn girl, rein yourself in!" He exclaims and I paste an innocent look on my face, raising my hands in a 'what can you do' gesture and shrugging my shoulders. "I don't believe that look for a second." He says sternly, pointing a finger in my face. I snap my teeth at it and he jerks it back while Sienna and I snicker.

"Alright, let's get started." Max says sternly, giving the three of us hard glares. I nod respectfully, sneaking a hand out and shoving Izayah. He windmills his arms as he yelps loudly, causing the gathered Dauntless to look up at us. I grab the back of his shirt, Sienna helping me and we pull him away from the edge.

"Thanks for that, Iz." I tease, patting his back and he turns on me irritated. Eric smoothly steps between us and crosses his brawny arms, raising an eyebrow. I exchange a mystified look with Sienna, not expecting Eric to intervene. Faced with Eric's hard, cold glare, Izayah backs off and flanks my right shoulder.

Max calls the soldiers to attention.

"Today, we have the Battle Grounds. For those of you that don't know, the Battle Grounds are held once a month. Here, you can challenge anyone you have a problem with. It doesn't matter what it is about, as long as when you leave the Pit- you no longer hold animosity towards each other. Because if you face a situation one day where you are with someone you hate, you are not going to turn your back on them and allow them to die. You will fight together. You can still sign up but the first ones are Donovan and Roman!" He calls out. Instantly perking up, I scan the room.

A wide grin spreads across my face when I see my buddy. I lean over the railing as he and the other guy start to circle each other, clearly choosing to fight it out.

"Whooo! Go Roman!" I shout, laughing as he looks up instinctively and gets a fist to the face. Cursing, Roman just straight up tackles the guy and starts pummeling him. The fight is over almost before it began and Roman is held as the victor to resounding cheers. Wiping the blood off his face, he looks up at me and salutes playfully. Grinning, I nod and salute back. His gaze flicks past me and darkens. I turn my head and skitter back a step when I see Eric standing _right there _with his arms crossed over his chest.

He glares down at me, anger brewing in his blue eyes.

My smile fading, I raise a challenging eyebrow and he leans down; splaying a hand on my back as he yanks me closer.

"Remember what you chant as I_ fuck_ you til you know no name but mine. You. Are. _Mine_. And I don't share." He says darkly, pressing right up close to me. Staring up at him, I don't even register the amused/confused/shocked looks of the other leaders and Izayah. Eric winds his other hand through my hair, clenching his fist and I suck on my lip as I look at him from under my lashes and curve my body around his.

"Too. Bad." I respond and his fist tightens in my hair as he leans down until his lips are close enough to mine that when he speaks, they brush together.

"If the two of you think you can sneak off, think again. Because when we are done here, I am taking you back to my room and going to make you _scream._" Eric says huskily, his larger form towering over me in a silent display of dominance. My stomach tightens deliciously as I reach up and nip his jaw, burying my fingers in the soft hair on his neck. He stiffens, his brawny chest tense against mine.

"_Hmm_, you have to get me to your room first." I purr sweetly and pull away, a devious glint in my eyes as I turn away- seemingly unaffected. Lust glints darkly in Eric's blue eyes as he watches my lithe form hungrily. And though I pretend to be preoccupied by the fight below, I make sure to stretch my body teasingly as I lean over the railing. He steps closer and I pretend not to notice as Sienna watches with wide eyes. Max is just making an effort to not watch, Angel sneers, Conner grins and Izayah rolls his eyes understandingly.

"Should I drag you there? Or toss you over my shoulder?" He rumbles, pressing right up behind me. Straightening, I tilt my head back on his chest and flash a flirty grin as his large hand circles my throat and holds me right against him. His other hand slides down my chest and lingers on my smooth stomach before snaking around my waist and holding me against him.

"Maybe you should _chase_ me there." I purr and his eyes flash darkly as his breathing quickens. "Seems you like my ideas better." I say archingly and he leans down, brushing his nose over my pulse and nips. I arch into his body, feeling his erection press into my back.

"Get ready to _run_." He purrs back and my eyes widen and heat floods through me. Pleased by my reaction, he releases me and moves away. I watch him with wide eyes, tilting my head to the side as I lock my gaze on his movements. But Eric is pleased with his victory against me and doesn't tease back. A little off balance by how...odd Eric is being, I turn back to the fights. And funnily enough, it never crosses my mind the reason _why._

I watch a few more fights, cheering for the victors and booing at the losers.

Laughing brightly, I am fixated on the fights below. Taking the chance to analyze fighting techniques and mentally marking them as ones for me to try out. Soon, on top of the duties I have now- Max has told me I will be doing Combat Training with a Leader. It will be like doing stage two classes for Dauntless-Leader-in-training. So the classes I was doing before: Phys Ed, Hand-to-Hand Combat, Obstacle Course/Endurance and Weapons Training are going back into my schedule. Only this time with the addition of basic Med Training.

It is because as a Leader, I will have to be among the best at pretty much everything.

"Paz!" I look around, hearing Roman's voice. My eyes land on him standing below with a couple of drinks. "Come on!" He shouts, holding his arms out and I laugh.

"I'm busy!" I shout down, my eyes sparkling happily. He scoffs and gestures with his head for me to join him.

"C'mon! I'm not going to drink these by myself!" He shouts and Eric looms beside me, glaring down with icy blue eyes.

"Yes, you are." He tells Roman and I roll my eyes, wiggling out of the possessive hold on my hips.

"Relax Eric, what's a drink between two friends?" I tease and leave, jogging down the steps. "Roman!" I squeal, laughing as he wraps me in a hug, carrying me over to a table where Four and another girl sit. Laughing, I hold onto his neck until he sets me down on the table. "Hey Four!" I chirp happily and he nods, forcing a small smile as the girl beside him chatters loudly.

"-and then she just took him out!" She giggles and I cringe at the obnoxious sound, wondering how in the hell this girl made it by Dauntless initiation. "Excuse me? Who the hell are you?!" The girl asks angrily and I realize I said that out loud when Roman snorts and Four hides a laugh.

"Paz. You may have heard of me. The new Dauntless-Leader-in-training." I respond easily, sipping from my bourbon and winking at Roman. The girl falters for a moment before narrowing her eyes angrily.

"So that gives you the fucking right to insult me?!" She snaps and I toss a shit-eating grin her way, leaning into Roman's shoulder as I nod.

"Yeah, pretty much." I answer flippantly and Four is unable to hide his laugh that time. "Happy is a good look on on you, Four." I tease as his deep blue eyes light up. "You should wear it more often." He grins, masculine face a little more open.

"Maybe I will." He responds and the girl growls in frustration.

"I challenge you to a fight." She announces and in the silence of the person in the ring collapsing, the statement rings out loudly. All the Dauntless gathered watch curiously and I flash a wicked grin, finishing off my drink in one gulp and meeting her gaze icily.

"You're on."

**XXX**

"You got this." Roman says to me as I prepare for my fight. I grin at him, my eyes sparkling with the thirst of the fight. Excitement is stirring in my blood, my darker streak shining through.

"I know." I answer cockily. "You might want to get out of here." I tell him, seeing Eric heading our way. He turns and looks over his shoulder and turns back to me with a grin.

"Nah. I'm good right here." He says and I laugh as Eric reaches me at the same time Ellie, Izzy, Zander and Ander do.

"What the hell are you doing?!" Eric asks angrily and Ellie brushes right past him, blue eyes alight.

"Beat her ass!" She tells me confidently.

"Show no mercy." Zander chimes in.

"Land her in the infirmary." Ander says next.

"And draw it out." Izzy finishes off. Grinning darkly, I tap my fists to theirs.

"Have I mentioned I love you guys?" I tease and Ellie wrinkles her nose adorably at me. "Awww!" I coo and the others laugh as she shoots me a dirty glare and flips me off. "Where's the rest of our group?" I ask, Eric doing his best to glare a hole in my head while he crosses his brawny arms over his chest.

"Waiting over there." Izzy says, pointing out our group. I grin when I see them all gathered and wave to them. Cheering, they rise and stomp their feet in response. Laughing, I turn back to my four closest friends.

"Any of you seen Jett?" I ask casually, looking at the from under my lowered lashes. Ellie shakes her head and I sigh, wondering what the hell is going on. "Right, well I'll be back in a few minutes." I turn and stride to the center of the ring, my mood brought down a little by the absence of my dark-haired best friend.

"Fight! Fight! Fight! Fight! Fight!" As is customary, on the fifth chant the fight begins. I circle the girl, my eyes distant and harsh. Uncertainty flashes through her eyes for a second before she masks it. Deciding to make the first move, I edge closer and lunge at her with a ferocious snarl. She jerks back, eyes wide but blocks my punch with a wince. She throws a punch of her own and I dodge it as we circle, content to let her tire herself out.

She explodes in a flurry of blows and it catches me off guard for a second, having used that tactic before but never been on the receiving end of it. Flipping backwards, I land in a low crouch and sweep my leg out; connecting firmly with her ankles and taking her feet out from under her. She falls with a yelp, landing on her elbow and crying out. I stand and wait, wanting an actual fight. I scan the crowd but don't see Jett. Anger burns through me and _I_ attack _her_ this time.

I throw a punch and as she shifts to block it, she leaves her left side open; a fact I am quick to take advantage of. Snapping my foot out, it connects solidly with her ribs and I knock her backwards as she gasps for breath. Straightening, I wait for her to be ready to fight again. She lunges at me, shouting angrily and I smoothly dodge; slapping her across the face. She clasps her red cheek and stares at me with wide eyes as a slow, cruel smirk twists my face.

I raise a single mocking eyebrow and anger clouds her eyes.

She launches herself at me, her fists flashing out quickly and landing a few hits. I hiss with pain as she hits my cheekbone and blood spills onto my cheek. She backs up, seeing me touch my fingertips to my cheek and pull it away to see the blood glistening darkly on my fingers.

Suddenly, rage washes over me and I am not playing anymore. Darting forward, I punch at her. She blocks and I duck, tackling her around the waist and straddling her as I rain blows down on her. I bare my teeth angrily as hit after hit lands on her face.

"Paz wins!" I vaguely hear a voice shout but I give one last hit before standing up. Med Unit assistants rush onto the ring and circle her bloody face while I prowl to the center and toss my head.

"Anyone else?!" I call into the crowd and they respond with resounding cheers, the blood stirring a deeply instinctual part of ourselves. "Who wants to fight?!" I shout and they start stamping their feet loudly in a stirring two-beat rhythm.

"I do." I turn and face Eric as he steps onto the mat.

"You sure you can handle this?" I tease darkly and he smirks.

"You already know I can." There is a heated charge to the air, lust edged with anger. My breath comes a little faster as Eric pulls off his vest, tossing it to the side. The smile vanishes from my face as I tilt my head to the side and scan his form. His short sleeved black shirt clings to his large form, his muscles sharply outlined in a way that stirs my libido. I assume the fight position, anticipation stirring through me as I get prepared to fight him. Our eyes glint darkly as we circle and then Eric makes the first move.

He throws a punch, forcing me to duck.

Unlike with the girl, a blow from his fist could knock me out and I have not intentions of playing around now. Our eyes stay locked together as I dart around Eric, smart enough to see that I cannot face him the way I faced the girl. Darting in, I punch him in the solar plexus, the soft spot between the chest and abs. But I didn't take into account that _zero_ part of Eric is soft.

He grabs my arms and yanks me closer, running his nose down my neck and grinning darkly.

"Wrong move." He whispers in my ear and I shiver, fighting the urge to press closer.

"Was it?" I question teasingly and nip his ear before slipping out of his tight hold and wrapping him in a head lock. Eric laughs as he breaks the hold easily and I flip off his back before he can grab me. I straighten with a teasing smirk, pulling off my shirt and facing him in nothing more than a lacy black bra and loose cargo pants. Immediately, his gaze darkens and he lunges at me. I dance out of the way, whirling and kicking his back.

"This isn't what the Battle Grounds is for! In the future, take your sexually charged fights elsewhere!" I hear Max shout but my attention is captured by Eric. He grins darkly and moves forward with speed that I didn't expect him to posses. Swearing, I pedal backwards. I slip around him and punch him viciously in the cheek. His barely falters as he follows me single-mindedly. I keep light on my feet, dancing around him as I land quick blows and kicks but Eric is not deterred.

The crowd screams and shouts deeply in excitement. I don't think anyone has ever lasted this long in a fight with Eric before...well, aside from Four. Anyone else though and they get taken down instantly and pummeled savagely. I get the distinct feeling that Eric is holding back though and it pisses me off.

Weaving around him, I lunge forward and wrap my legs around his throat; pulling tight. Following the momentum of our fall, I twist so that I don't land as harshly. Eric hits hard but brings his hands up and wraps them around my ankles; pulling them apart roughly. I try to dart away but he grabs my ankle, flipping me over and straddling me.

"This looks familiar." He teases, wrenching my hands above my head and holding them with an iron grip. I roll my eyes, blood pounding in my veins.

"Seriously Eric?" I snap, wrenching my knee forward to knee his groin but he blocks it; his larger form dwarfing mine. I bare my teeth angrily at him, snapping my head back and lunging forward but he moves his head to the side. He watches me with dark fascination as I refuse to give up. Suddenly, an idea hits me. Maybe I should use _every _weapon I possess. Changing my movements, I slink against his body. Eric stiffens against me, wariness entering his gaze. "Domination is a turn on for you, isn't it?" I ask huskily, arching my head back and baring my throat.

He groans, his hands tightening around my wrists. I pull my legs free and wrap them around his waist, arching our hips together. Despite the fact that we have had sex several times now, the feeling of his long, pulsing length against my core is as exquisite as the last time we fought.

"Shit, you fight dirty." Eric rumbles, pushing his erection into my core. I arch into him, my eyes fluttering shut and he laughs lowly. He slowly grinds into me, pleasure shooting through my body. Right now, the fight is the farthest thing in our minds. The crowd blurs out as I roll our hips together. "Mother fucker!" He swears and it is my turn to laugh darkly as I tug my hands free from his grip and wind them in his longer blond hair. I tug roughly and Eric swears again, his hands moving down to my hips where he digs his hands in insistently; keeping our hips rolling together.

"Eric." I breathe into his ear, slowly hooking my leg over his waist. The new angle lets him have direct access to my clit. I moan into his ear as he grasps my butt, pulling me tight against him.

"What?" He snaps, kneading my butt and keeping the movement up.

"I distracted you." I whisper, flipping him over so I am straddling him. "And I win." I smirk darkly as I grind down on him and Eric shakes his head. I tilt my head to the side and look at him sultrily, keeping him off balance as I arch forward. "I have you pinned." I tease, a proud grin spreading across my face and he lunges forward. Laughing, I skitter back and land on my feet.

"Who won?!" I shout to the crowd, Eric coming up behind me. "Who won?!" I ask again, roaring cheers shaking the Pit. I gesture for them to shout louder, prompting shattering sounds. I half expect the roof to cave in, that is how much noise they are making as they chant their answer.

"Eric!"

"Paz!"

"Eric!"

"Paz!

I hear an equal amount of shouts for the both of us and grin. I toss my head and glance back over my shoulder at the brawny Dauntless Leader. He watches me darkly, striding forward.

"I guess it's a tie." I tell him and Eric scowls, shaking his head and sliding his heated hands over my smooth waist. Shivering, I lean back into him.

"I don't tie. I dominate." He growls, making me remember him teasing a chase. The thought excites me and I dart around him, teasingly crooking two fingers at him. Then I turn and disappear into the crowd.

**xXXXx**

I saunter through the tunnels, tilting my head to the side and listening for sounds of Eric following me.

His boots land roughly on the stone tunnels and an anticipatory grin spreads across my face. I shove my shirt in my pocket, heading towards the Chasm. The whole time he hangs back, just far behind enough for my blood to sing in my veins as I relish the chase.

"Come _on_ baby..." I call teasingly, infusing heat into my tone. His boots pick up as I jog lightly around the corner and the roar of the Chasm rings out. I move forward and come to a complete stop in the middle of the walk way. I turn and face the way I just came.

The spray lightly mists my body as I unbutton my pants and shove them so they hang low on my hips. Eric comes to a stop in the tunnel, his large form bristling as he watches me. I send him a sultry smirk and cup my boobs, rolling my throbbing nipples between my fingers. Eric quickly undoes his pants, understanding the teasing game I am starting.

He palms his erection, his every movement straining towards me as I slide my fingers down my body.

Reaching my pants, I shoot him a naughty look as I show him I am not wearing any panties. A growl rips out of his throat and I moan, the sound making me gush wetness between my legs. A satisfied smirk briefly lights up his eyes but it disappears when he hears footsteps behind me. Glaring venomously, he strides forward.

"Fuck off!" Eric growls deeply and the footsteps quickly recede. He is a few steps away from me and I suck on my lower lip, the metal cool against my tongue as I finally slip two fingers inside myself. My hot walls cling to my fingers and I sigh, arching my body back as I loll my head to the side. I tease myself, twisting my fingers but never reaching for my clit. My hips move as I fuck my fingers. "Yeah, just like that baby." Eric rumbles, his dark eyes locked on my fingers as he strokes himself. I shoot him a pleasured smirk, my eyes dark with lust.

"Eric..." I moan and he takes a step forward. Stopping my movements, I take a step back and shake my head. I slowly slink down so I am on my knees and lean back against the rusty railing. I hold my fingers up to him and he clenches his jaw but kneels too. He sucks my fingers in his mouth, staring deeply into my eyes. My mouth falls open lightly as he reaches out his other hand and yanks me onto his lap so I am straddling him.

"You hear that? It is _my_ name you are moaning. Not Roman or anyone else." He growls, urging my hips forward. The broad head of his penis nudges my opening and I let my head fall back submissively as he slowly pushes in.

"I could moan another name for you..." I tease and rage flares in his eyes as his hands tighten on my hips. He cants forward, burying his hot length inside of me and I cry out, the pleasure washing through me as he hits that one spot. "Eric!" I cry out and satisfaction mixes with the rage to create a chaotic mix in his eyes. He pulls me into a rough kiss, biting down hard on my lip. The pain spirals through me, mixing with the pleasure and he growls as I dig my nails in his shoulders. I tug insistently and he pulls away for a second to let me pull his shirt off. The block tattoos trail down his throat and I dig my nails into them as I push down roughly, taking him deep inside of me.

Snarling, Eric pistons forward. His powerful thighs ripple below me as he drives into me, grasping my butt roughly and using them to bottom out. He reaches deep and I rake my nails down his back harder, wanting to leave a mark for him to remember this by. He growls, the deep sound making me hotter. His length pulses inside of me as he grinds deeper. I cry out, breathing hot and heavy in his ear as I clamp down.

He drags himself out and _slams _back in. I writhe deeply on his lap as I push my hips down as he drives up. The rough and rapid rhythm drawing unrestrained lust out of us. He winds a hand through my hair and yanks harshly. The feeling of being both completely at his mercy and completely in control is intoxicating. We move quickly against each other, his erection dragging moans and shouts out of me that Eric muffles with a bruising kiss.

His pistoning hips show no mercy as Eric pounds into me, dragging an orgasm out of me. I arch against him, reaching for the pleasure as it explodes through me and I clamp down on Eric. He swears deeply into my ear but doesn't give in. I grind down, taking him deeper into my heat as he thrusts harder. His chest heaves against mine with deep, ragged breaths and a thrill rolls through me at the thought that I am the one that unravels him so completely.

Eric roughly grips my hair, pushing harder- deeper and I feel the coil tighten in my stomach again.

"Fuck, I'm close." I moan and he doesn't say anything but moves faster. He drags his teeth over my neck and I mewl wordlessly as he bites down, remarking the one spot. I let my head fall back as I tighten around him but the coil doesn't snap yet.

"Come on baby, you know you are there." He snarls, slamming into me harder. I cry out, needing more. I drag him into a kiss, rough and biting. I nip at his lips, the hot and heavy kiss causing his muscles to tighten against my own. The spray from the Chasm mists us and our skin is slick as we move faster. I drag my nails down his thighs, leaving red marks and he groans, deep in his throat. "Fuck! Come on, ride me harder. Fuck me." He orders and I moan for him as I do as he says.

I grind down, my hot walls clamping down on him as I drag up and then drop down. Gravity pulls him deep inside of me as I ride him, my breast brushing against his chest as I roll our hips together. Pleasure sparks and lights deep inside of me, a burn running through my veins. He guides my hips down as he slams into me over and over, reaching for that one spark that causes the coil to snap.

Our eyes lock and the sheer pleasure in his eyes causes my coil to snap and I shudder as I clamp down on him, the rhythmical squeezing milking him for everything he has. Eric clamps down on my hips as he thrusts in me one last time, his roar muffled in the deep kiss I pull him into.

Panting deeply, I collapse forward; Eric's sticky and heated skin pressing against my cheek.

**xXXXx**

"Shit." I mutter, gasping for breath as I lean against his heaving chest.

"Yeah." Eric agrees, lifting me up and off his softened member. I lean back against railing, letting my head fall back. A red light makes me tense as I flick Eric's shoulder. He stiffens and turns to me, raising a blonde eyebrow. I gesture for him to look up and a shit-eating grin crosses his face as he sees the camera. "Good, now they all know you belong to me." He rumbles, dragging me into a rough kiss before standing up. I scramble to my feet, wobbling a little as my weakened legs falter. Seeing the smug look on Eric's face, I roll my eyes and tug my shirt on.

I stride past him, fighting to keep my strides steady.

He chuckles darkly behind me as we leave.

* * *

Yay! 14 Reviews!

SSPI - Thank you so much! Yeah, their relationship will evolve but not easily. The two of them are stubborn and neither of them want to 'give in' first. I don't see those walls coming down just yet.

Lorienelfy - I accept your praise gratefully! Thanks for your review!

Guest - Thank you for reviewing!

laser97 - You love my story?! Yay!

Guest - I think everyone has been waiting the entire story for this! And thank you!

Guest - Here is more, more, more; you're welcome!

yasminplattx - Thank you for saying that! I think they go good together too!

Guest - I didn't get whatever your review was but thanks for the attempt!️️️

Ash - Wow, thank you so much for saying that!

Jessica - I'm glad the last chapter lived up to what you were hoping for!

Guest - Not in this chapter but soon!

anmcrea - Hat, we'll this chapter fanned the flames!

sharon. mayes. 353 -aww, thank you so much for saying that!

MyhusbandsaPRICK - Yeah, dominant Eric is always fun! You aren't the only one hoping for feels but it won't be happening soon, considering the stubborn two involved. Especially since Paz normally goes to Jett first...I don't think Eric is going to like that...

_And last but never least, a big thank you to those of you that fav/followed my story!_

_Zammy156_

_Remember, a review = a preview! _


	15. Chapter 15

A/N: Disclaimer: I don't own the Divergent world. I only own Pazia. (Pronounced: Pah-ze-ah.) All outfits are on my profile. This story is set after Four and Eric became Dauntless but the year before Tris became Dauntless.

**_Rating:_** _M_

**_Word_**_** Count:** 8, 697_

_Really quick, I just want to apologize to my readers. I know I have missed uploading a new chapter for about three weeks now. I had major writers block and a lot going on. Thank you for sticking with me. I know I got a lot a of reviewers that did not get a preview and I apologize for that. I just want you guys to know I really do appreciate all of your kind words. Once again, I am so sorry!_

**Chapter Fifteen**

* * *

_**Previously on Battle Scars:**_

_A red light makes me tense as I flick Eric's shoulder. He stiffens and turns to me, raising a blonde eyebrow. I gesture for him to look up and a shit-eating grin crosses his face as he sees the camera. "Good, now they all know you belong to me." He rumbles, dragging me into a rough kiss before standing up. I scramble to my feet, wobbling a little as my weakened legs falter. Seeing the smug look on Eric's face, I roll my eyes and tug my shirt on._

_I stride past him, fighting to keep my strides steady._

_He chuckles darkly behind me as we leave._

* * *

"Next lesson." Sienna says, moving her rook forward to capture one of my knights. Today I am working with Sienna until Eric is ready for my physical training with Amar. "So you have learned a lot of things but here is the next one. A leader inspires. That is why they are the leaders. Because they inspire their followers to willingly do things. To inspire, you must both create resonance and move people with a compelling vision. You must embody what you ask of others, and be able to articulate a shared vision in a way that inspires others to act. Your must offer a sense of common purpose beyond the day-to-day tasks, making work exciting. Get it?" Sienna asks and I nod, privately thinking that with some of the big words she just used she must have been Erudite before she became Dauntless.

"Yeah but isn't that what I did when I offered double pay and a break from their jobs to the soldiers when I created my Beastly Battles Tournaments?" I ask and she pauses, deliberating.

"Actually, I think it is!" She says in surprise, laughing a little at my offended face. "Okay, so that lesson is learned. Moving on. Okay, so even though leaders act like they know every thing, a truly effective leader knows that what they know is very little when compared to what they still need to learn. Take for example: Before I started helping training you, I thought that there was very little that could surprise me. But then you waltz in, steal Eric's heart, charm over half of Dauntless and all with the skill of a seasoned leader." Sienna says impishly and I raise an eyebrow.

"Eric is not in love with me. I didn't steal his heart." I tell her sardonically and she smirks knowingly but lets it drop.

"After all I just said, _that _is the one you choose to focus on?" She teases and laughs at my sharp glance. "Right. Moving on. Again. To become better at pursing and achieving goals, you are going to have to be open to new ideas and stuff that could lead to better ways of getting something done. I noticed you already recognize that by bringing Izayah, Mikenna and Sabbath onto your team. But a way to sharpen that, is to mingle and converse with your workers. Because when you boil it down, the essence of leading is coming to terms with people's perceptions. Because that is what allows people to choose you as their leader. Okay?" Sienna asks, looking up at me. Nodding thoughtfully, I smile faintly.

Tipping over her king, Sienna gets up and we leave.

After a mental training like that, Sienna always takes me to do something physical so that it can sink in. Today we will be doing shooting. We travel to the Torture Chamber, easy silence between us. Dodging a couple of small kids that hoot and holler as they race past, I catch up to Sienna.

"Hey Sienna? Where do the kids stay? I mean, I never see them in the Pit but they race around these tunnels freely." I ask curiously and she raises an eyebrow.

"That information is top secret unless you are a Leader, Doc or a family member. That part of your training will come later." She says and my curiosity stirs even more. I nod silently and she gives me a suspicious look, knowing me well enough to wonder at the easy submission. Normally I pry and badger until I get the answer I am looking for.

We reach the Torture Chamber and go in.

Unlike during Stage Two, there are other people in here. Shouts and laughter echo in this room and I realize it is somewhat of a hangout room, kind of like the Pit. Moving over to the guns station, Sienna and I pull out a few guns and lay them out on the table.

"Ready, set go!" We both grab the first gun and disassemble it, cleaning and reassembling it. We work our way through all of the guns, moving as quickly as possible.

"Done." Sienna sets down her last gun seconds before me and I groan.

"I almost had you that time!" I tease playfully and she scoffs loudly.

"Never!" She fiercely denies and I laugh with her.

"Hey, Paz." I turn, smirking at Sienna. Ellie bounces on her heels, looking curiously between the two of us with narrowed blue eyes.

"Hey, Ellie." I greet her, Sienna handing me a gun. I glance at her, reading her intentions in her gaze and nod; waiting. She grabs the same gun and we straddle a bench, staring each other in the eyes.

"What are you guys doi-" Following a silent start, we both take apart the gun without looking at it. Swearing as I fumble with a piece, I recover and slide the magazine home at the same time as Sienna.

"Ha! I _am_ fucking getting better at this!" I crow and she scoffs again, wrinkling her nose at me.

"You wanna come and wrestle, Paz?" Ellie asks and I turn to her with an apologetic look. Her face falls as she reads my answer in my eyes. "Fine, whatever. Hang out with your new best friend, what do I care?" She mutters and stalks off. I stare after her with shock, shame welling up in my chest. I stare after her, torn between my new duty and my little sister.

"You gonna go after her?" Sienna nudges, an understanding look in her eyes. Shooting her a thankful look, I gently set down my gun and jog after Ellie.

"Wait!" I call and she ignores me. Lengthening my stride, I skid in front of her; forcing her to stop. With a shock, I see the tears glimmering in her eyes before she blinks and they disappear. "Damn Els...I didn't mean it like that!" I protest and she folds her arms defensively.

"I don't really care." She bluffs but I can see through it. I always see right through it.

"Liar." I tease, trying to draw a smile out of her but she doesn't relent. "Look, I'm sorry but this is training for me right now. Just think of it like Stage Two without having to go through my fears every day. This is what I do for Dauntless-leader-in-training." I explain but it comes out all wrong.

"Well fine. Clearly your training is more important than your friends. Who, I might add, have been with you since we started out here in Dauntless." She snaps. "Not just since you became a Leader-in-training!"

"Yes! Wait- no!" I try to fix, mentally cursing at the confusing mix of words I can't seem to stop but she storms off. Staring off after her, bewildered; I turn to see Ander. He walks up to me with a sympathetic grin, his green eyes warm. "What did I do?" I ask him and he slings an arm over my shoulders.

"You neglected Ellie. She's been trying to reach out to you since the Battle Grounds thing a week ago but you are constantly busy with your LIT stuff. She feels hurt because you are spending so much time with Sienna and seem like you have no interest in keeping up with your guys's friendship." He says and I look at him with confusion.

"But it isn't like that at all! I really have been busy-"

"Too busy for Ellie." He finishes and I stare at him with a heavy heart. "Look, you may be busy but you gotta learn how to juggle your LIT and your friends. To be honest, all of us feel like you have dropped us and moved on. Hear me out!" He says quickly as I narrow my eyes furiously. "Look, back when we were all initiates we constantly hung out. We went to the Pit and screwed around, we got tattoos, we got piercings, we changed out hair...and the one thing in common with all of that is you. You were always there with us, right in the thick of things. But it has been over a month since we have hung out like we used to. You are too busy training and hanging out with the other Leaders. And we get it to some extent but if you really care about us, then you would make time to keep up the bonds we forged in Initiation. We adore you Paz but you gotta pull your head out of your ass and come see us again. Whenever you are ready, we have started hanging out on the trains every Thursday." Ander says and I furrow my brow.

"Since when?" I ask curiously.

"Since about a month." And then it hits me just how much I have pulled away from my friends. Guilt washes through me and Ander nods, seeing it in my eyes. "Just do me a favor? Talk to Ellie. You and her were the first in our group. She feels so hurt that you would just stop hanging out with her like this. It hasn't been easy for her. I gotta go find her, I'll see you around." He says and takes off.

"I'll see you around?" I question, staring after his rapidly disappearing form. Since when does he say that to me? Usually they say see you later. I flip through my memories but can't find a time in the last month that I have hung out with my friends. Either as a group or a couple or one at a time. Shame washes through me and I look around the room.

I see my friends.

Zander and Tabby are navigating the obstacle course while Sam and Izzy along with Dean and Sasha cheer them on. Raza is at the end, cheering them on with Jon and Misty. He exchanges a sweet look with Misty and my eyes widen. When did that happen? Last I knew, Misty and Jon were in mourning for Josh and Taylor- their boyfriend and girlfriend.

I see Mike and Raven exchanging dirty looks as they see each other at the punching bags, Ty and Violette making out at the knife station, Blade, Emily, Andy and Howard are at the gun station. All of my group is here but they have broken into groups. Dean, Izzy, Sasha and Zander are all together and the people they are with have been accepted into their group. Raza, Misty and Jon have banded together. Mike and Raven are split up. Ty and Violette are by themselves. And it seems like Blade, Emily, Andy and Howard have banded together.

Without me there, they have all fallen apart.

It hurts and it feels like I am seeing them all for the first time in a while. Resolving to change that, I hurry over to Sienna. She looks up from her guns and sets it down when she sees the conflicted look on my face. I sit down across from her and straddle the bench, picking up a gun and breaking it apart.

"I am going to need to ask for tomorrow off." I tell her, avoiding her gaze as I fiddle with the gun parts.

"So you finally noticed it?" She asks and I look at her with shock. "Don't worry!" She laughs and I roll my eyes. "Look, all of us go through this, it gets overwhelming at first and you neglect your friends. But you know what? Whether or not you guys are able to re-connect will be a test of who is a regular friend and who will be in it for the long haul. Take tomorrow off. I'll let Max know but you have to tell Eric at your training later." Sienna says and I nod, smiling gratefully at her.

"Thanks, Sienna." She shrugs, turning back to her gun.

"No problem." She says and we fall in comfortable silence as we clean the guns. My mind races through dozens of things I can do to reach out to my friends but I put them aside. Right now I need to focus on Ellie. Remembering the look of hurt on her face, I wince. How did I neglect my little pseudo sister?

I need to fix this.

I _will_ fix this.

**XXX**

I enter the Pit with Sienna and split off from her, heading over to where Ellie is sitting with Ander.

I slide into the seat across from her and she looks up, rolling her eyes when she sees me. She grabs her tray, ready to leave the second she saw me sit down at their table.

"Wait! Please." I say, trying to stop her from getting up and leaving.

"What do you want?" She snaps, and though she puts up an angry front, all I can see is the hurt hiding behind it.

"Meet me in my apartment tonight?" I ask, and she starts shaking her head. "Please. I just- I need to talk to you." I tell her and she storms off. Sighing, Ander gets up and looks at me.

"I'll talk to her. I don't know if it will work but I'll see if I can get her to meet you." He says softly and I nod thankfully at him and he pulls me into a short hug.

"I didn't even notice what I was doing but now that I have...I miss her so much." I whisper and he nods understandingly.

"She'll come around." He says confidently but I see the sliver of doubt before he leaves. Sighing, I slump down and put my head in my arms.

"What was that about?" Jett asks and I glance up to see him slide in the seat across from me.

"I suppose you hate me too?" I mumble and he grins, shaking his head.

"Nah. I tried to, don't get me wrong but I get it. You had a new guy and LIT stuff and you got carried away. But I know you and I knew that I just had to wait for you to realize it. Because once you did, you would do everything in your power to fix it." Jett says and I stare at him before a sweet smile spreads across my face. Vaulting over the table, I hug him happily.

"Have I mentioned how awesome you are?" I ask teasingly and he smirks, chucking my chin fondly.

"Not lately but I am prepared to hear it more often now, Butterfly." He teases, and I laugh with him. Butterfly. I remember when Jett started calling me that. It was after my dad had had one of his episodes. Jett and I had snuck out and into Amity territory to go swim in an abandoned lake for a little while. After we swam and played around, we climbed out and laid down in the wheat fields, letting the warm sun rays dry us.

We were talking and laughing and then a butterfly landed on my leg. Shocked, we stared at it. It was a deep blue color with black edged wings. Then a few more landed on me and then on Jett. He joked that I was butterfly bait and then eventually it was shortened to just Butterfly. Like with the Bean Pole and Jett, it is only for him to use for me.

Smiling at the memory, I pull back a little.

"We should go sneak out and visit our lake one day." I tell him, stealing a fry and he grins; nodding.

"Sounds great to me." He agrees.

"But not today. I still have training to do with Eric and then tonight I will (hopefully) be hashing things out with Ellie." I bite my lip in worry and Jett gently tugs it out between my teeth. His dark eyes hold mine as he gives me his sweet half-smile.

"Don't worry. Even if she doesn't show tonight, you two are sisters. And sisters fight. But they also make up. You'll win her over." He says confidently and I beam at him, my eyes sparkling.

"I needed to hear that." I tell him and he smirks.

"I know." He says arrogantly and all is forgiven.

**XXX**

"You are late." Eric's voice booms out in the empty Torture Chamber.

Right now, this isn't Eric-my-bed-buddy but Eric-the-asswipe-Dauntless-Leader. His blue eyes are cold as they sweep over me. He is standing with his hands clasped behind his back and his feet firmly on the ground. Amar and Four are here. My gaze flicks between the three of them, my pulse starting faster in my neck. They all have this look in their eyes, like they are about to do something really fucking devious. It puts me on edge but I mask that, flashing a sweet smile as I stroll to a stop in front of them.

"Yeah, lunch dragged on longer than I thought it would." I say, waving a hand dismissively. Eric pauses, raising an eyebrow. He knows that I have been...disconnected with my friends. And then I briefly wonder if he prefers it that way. But, that would mean he would care enough to isolate me so that he could have me all to himself and neither of us care like that.

"In the future, we expect you to be here on time." Amar says next, the gleam brightening in his eyes. I subtly tense as Four shifts the slightest bit, examining him out of the corner of my eye. The way they are standing...it's like...when they were teaching us how to shoot guns. Realization dawns and I flash a smug smirk.

"Or what?" I taunt, half expecting them to start shooting right then.

"Or you get a punishment." Eric snaps out and in the next second, he has a gun pointed at my face. Cursing, I duck under it- simultaneously grasping his wrist, snapping it down over my shoulder and wresting the gun from his fingers as I complete the spin and face them with the gun.

"What the fuck?!" I snarl and my eyes widen as both Four and Amar pull out guns. Tensing even more, I flick my gaze between the three of them. Eric may not be armed but he is most certainly never a de-clawed kitten.

"This is a punishment." Four repeats and Amar smirks.

"So I suggest you shut up and take it." Amar finishes and they start shooting. Yelping as I dodge, I return fire. My shot goes wide but Four's hits me right on the shoulder. I explode into cussing as I clutch my arm, fire racing through it as 'blood' (paint) spills through my fingers. Yet they continue forward. Grabbing the gun, I shoot Amar in the leg and lunge forward at Four. He doesn't falter and meets me head on as we exchange blows. Eric just hangs back for the moment, content to watch as Amar joins the fight.

"SON OF A BITCH!" I shout, slapping at Amar and lashing out at Four. He winds his arm around my leg like I did to Amar the last time I fought all three of them and yanks me closer but I know what to do with this tactic. I never use something I don't know how to counter should my opponent try to turn it on me.

I drop to the floor, dead weight that drags Four down on me with a startled shout. He lands on my elbow and rolls off, gasping from the hit to his stomach. At the same time, I reach out and dig my nails into Amar's Achilles heel. He crumples, cursing and I throw my elbow back, dodging a punch from Four but Amar catches it and twists. Grunting, I yank my arm away and Four gets me in a headlock. His strong arm tightens on my throat and I choke as Amar watches from the side; thinking I am finished for sure.

Suddenly, I relax and shoot him a wink.

His eyes widen but I kick off the ground and flip over Four's head, reversing the headlock. He pulls against me but I lock my hand around my wrist, backing up as I hold tight until he taps out. Releasing him, I bound to my feet; the excitement of the fight burning through me. My shoulder throbs but the pain isn't as bad right now because of the adrenaline flooding through my body.

Respect flares in Amar's eyes as Eric unfolds his arms and joins the fight.

Without a word, I lunge at Eric- Amar clearly not expecting it. We exchange a flurry of blows, me mostly having to dodge instead of block but Eric lets my hits land. They clearly don't hurt him so I dance out of reach, tilting my head to the side as I sweep a critical gaze over him. The Dauntless approach isn't working because force isn't going to take him down. Reaching deep in my mind, I dodge Amar as I use my Erudite memories to find the vulnerable parts of the body.

The bridge of the nose, a spot above the ear, a straight shot to the jaw...I tilt my head to the side; dark blue eyes closed off and calculating. A challenge flares to life in Eric's eyes in response. I raise an eyebrow and he moves in, leading with a strong punch. Seeing he has guarded everything, I set a small trap in play. Ducking under his arm, I twist my body to avoid his grabbing hand and land a hit to his jaw. Pain flares in his eyes but he snarls, easily brushing it off.

He lunges forward, getting me around the waist.

Falling limp, I slither forward over his back and land a strong elbow hit to the Cerebellum (a spot on the back of the head that renders someone instantly unconscious, or at least _should_) and Eric sways but doesn't go down so I hit him again, slipping off as he tries to drop me. Hitting the ground with a thud, I squeak and roll to the side as Eric falls. He hits harshly and I wince as I sit up, pride gleaming in my eyes.

"Yes!" I shout, punching the air happily. I look at Amar, the only one who is conscious but can barely walk because of the injury to his Achilles heel. "Fuck yeah! That's what you get when you screw with me!" I shout and Amar rolls his eyes good naturally.

"You fight dirty." He says with reluctant admiration, struggling to his feet. Smirking, I nod as I help him up.

"Well, duh. In a real fight, nobody's gonna be looking at a rule book. All they are gonna do is fight for their life. Why keep it polished when raw and vicious is what I do best?" I ask logically, my mind running faster than my mouth.

"Sounds like an assessment someone from Erudite would use." Amar jokes and I stiffen a little under his arm as I boost him up. Four stirs and stumbles to his feet, shaking his head and focusing on us. A laughing smile lights up his face.

"How is it you get better and better every fight?" He questions and I grin shamelessly, Amar swaying and causing Four to hurry over to steady him.

"I practice, Four." I tease and he grins.

"Remind me to start practicing with you." He jokes and I roll my eyes.

"Sure but I warn you, I like to practice from six to eight. No exceptions." I say sternly and Four grins.

"Perfect. I'll be here." He retorts and I grin as Eric groans, rubbing the back of his head and rolling over as he gets up.

"What the fuck, Paz?" Eric snaps out. I flash a shit-eating grin, pleased I managed to take down Eric; something that very few are ever able to do.

"I _could _ask the same. I didn't ask for you guys to gang up and attack me. You did that on your own. Besides, if you stopped holding back in our fights, I doubt you would ever get taken down." I tease, bouncing on my heels. Surprise briefly flashes through his eyes but, Eric is so un-amused and it causes me to laugh lightly as I help Amar over to a bench. A medic moves over and Four and I move back over to Eric as Amar gets looked over.

"You asked for it when you agreed to Dauntless-leader-in-training." Eric snaps back, irritation glowing in his blue eyes. I roll my eyes and sigh.

"Whatever but, that reminds me. I need tomorrow off. Sienna has already agreed and is going to let Max know. Also, I'm not sleeping at your place tonight." I tell him, not expecting his response. He narrows his eyes angrily and his muscles ripple as they tighten. I raise an eyebrow at him, silently telling him to back off. The unwavering glare in my eyes causes him to pause and he gives a short, sharp nod before crossing his arms.

Pleased, I turn and stop short. Amar and Four are watching fascination and I narrow my eyes at them.

"What?" I snap out and they exchange looks.

"Nothing." Four says hastily and Amar muffles a laugh. Rolling my eyes at them, I follow as Eric leads me over to the Weapons Wall and we get started.

"Today we start off with Dagger practice." He grabs two then tosses them. I catch them, a grin spreading on my face. I handle the weapons fondly as Eric faces me with two of my own. He leads me into several exercises to use with the dagger. He takes pretty much every opportunity to brush against me and halfway through, I am breathlessly aroused. He smirks as I watch him with a hungry gaze, the throbbing between my legs prompting me to tease back.

"Show me your attack with a taller person." Eric demands and I place my feet one angled in front of the other, one hand raised high and the other held low. He nods in approval, stepping behind me. "Remember to angle your hips with the thrust." Eric rumbles, pressing right against my back, allowing me to feel every line of his body. My breathing speeds up a little and my eyes are wide with lust.

"Show me." I say throatily and Eric presses closer to my back, his length pressing into my back and arousing me even more. His hands slide down my sides and grasp my hips with just the right amount of pressure as he slowly turns my hips. I angle myself into his body, as I struggle to remain focused.

"There." He says lowly, dipping his head down so that his hair falls into his eyes and brushes my cheek. I turn my head the slightest bit and hold his gaze with mine. His eyes are steely with lust and a smirk flits across my lips.

"Just like this?" I ask and he slowly nods, releasing my hips and backing off. We progress farther into the lesson but the heated charge doesn't go away. If anything it gets worse. I know we should be a bit more discreet from the awkward looks on Four and Amar's faces but can't quite bring myself to care.

"Four! Amar!" Sienna strides into the room and waves them over. Four jogs over immediately but Amar lingers.

"Behave." He taunts and I mock-growl, lunging at him. Eric catches me around the waist as Amar laughs and jogs to the entrance.

"Be good." Eric taunts into my ear and I grind back into him, completely distracted by him. "But only for me." He growls, his large hand sliding around my waist and lingering at the skin above my pants. I pant lightly as his heated fingers draw invisible shapes, leaving trails of heat behind.

"Don't tease." I moan lowly and Eric's hands slip under my pants. Jerking, I shake my head. "Not right here..." I breathe and he carries me to the side, a small alcove the size of a small bathroom hidden in the shadows.

"Why not out there?" Eric rumbles, holding me tightly against him. "Just think of how much of a turn-on it would be for you as I fucked you in front of them." He whispers heatedly in my ear. I groan, leaning back into him as his dirty words wreak havoc on my body. "You would moan my name-" He growls, nipping my ear as he quickly undoes my pants and shoves them down. "No underwear again?" He asks, fucking _moaning_ in my ear. I whine and arch back into him as he lightly strokes me, the slick heat coating his fingers.

"Surprise." I tease, winding my arms back around his neck as he dips his head down and nips at my neck. My breath catches in my throat and I willingly let my head fall back and to the side on his broad shoulders, granting him better access. His hot mouth glides wetly over my pulse as he sucks on my sweet spot. Melting against him, I barely hear his paints unzip as he shakes them down. His hand slips down and he hooks a hand under my thigh, lifting it lightly as his hot cock presses at my slick entrance.

"I normally hate surprises but considering the benefits-" He slowly pushes the head in, the girth stretching me out in a deliciously painful way as he slowly sinks into me, every bump and ridge rubbing pleasurably as I arch into him. "I can appreciate this one." He finishes, not pulling out but instead grinding his hips farther into me. I jolt, sinking down on him as I mewl in pleasure.

"Fuck, more..." I moan and Eric uses his hold on my thigh to bodily lift me, withdrawing and then sinking back into my slick heat. The throbbing feeling of _fullness_ heats me up and makes this all feel deliciously naughty as Eric starts a slow pace. Withdrawing, he slides his other hand down to rub my clit. The pleasure heightens and he muffles my cry with a heated kiss, teeth and tongue tangling as he sinks back into me.

The tortuously slow pace is driving me higher as his skilled fingers circle my clit, pressing and flicking in time with his deep strokes. I pant into Eric's mouth as I arch my hips into him, my nails digging into the back of his neck as I flex in time with his movements. The fact that we could be caught at any moment is only making the moment more heated and Eric's chest falls and rises with ragged breaths as he cants into me powerfully. Our tongues twist languidly as I nip and suck, drawing more and more pleasure out of this. Eric grunts as he slides in deeper and holds there, grinding deeply.

I moan deeply, the sound being pulled out of me as the coil snaps and I clamp down onto him. Eric shudders as he cums, warmth shooting deep inside of me as he collapses back against the wall. I slump against him, worn out by the short but intense session. Lifting me off of him, Eric slips out; leaving me feeling empty as he pulls his pants back up. I pull in more breaths and raise my pants, our heated gazes not wavering from each other.

Lunging forward, Eric winds his fingers in my dark curls and yanks back; dominating my mouth. His tongue sweeps through as his other hand splays on my back, yanking me closer. I moan and curve into him, our _insatiable_ needs rearing up again.

"Eric? Paz?" We break apart, breathing heavily as we hear Four calling for us.

"Fucking Four." Eric snarls, snapping his head in that direction and releasing me. I nod in agreement, disappointed the make-out session was cut short as we emerge from the shadows. Four opens his mouth when he sees us but then flushes red when he sees our thoroughly debauched looks. Smirking, I saunter past him; patting his shoulder.

"This training session is over." I toss over my shoulder, winking at Eric as I leave.

**XXX**

I wait anxiously in my room, pacing back and forth.

I glance at the clock for the millionth time, disappointment flaring in me when I see it is getting late. Sighing, I stare longingly at the door and turn, going into my kitchen. I grab a bottle of bourbon, pouring it into a glass and raising it to my lips.

And then she knocks.

Hope welling in my chest, I open the door and smile when I see her there. She starts to smile back but twists into a scowl as she brushes past me. I frown, turning in time to see Ellie gulp down my drink. Shutting the door, I silently move over and get a second glass, pouring it out for myself.

"What did you want?" Ellie asks harshly and I flinch a little.

"I wanted to apologize, Ellie." I say softly and she rolls her eyes.

"You can't keep doing this. You can't keep pushing us away. Pushing _me_ away. You may not need us but _we need you_ and we all care about you but every time something happens, you just end up _cutting_ us out of your life. And that is painful." Ellie rants, tears glimmering in her blue eyes.

"I know and I'm sorry-"

"Sometimes sorry _isn't_ going to cut it though!" Ellie exclaims angrily.

"And I don't expect it to. I fully expect that I will have a lot of groveling to do." I tell her anxiously and she scoffs.

"It isn't about the groveling. It's about _you_ proving to _us_ that _we are important_ to you!" She snaps and I stare at her.

"You think you guys aren't important to me?" I ask, hurt radiating off of me.

"Well you haven't exactly been showing you care lately!" Ellie shoots back, her blue eyes snapping hurt fire at me. It reaches deep into my heart and I stare at her for a second before the dam bursts and I tell her everything.

"You guys matter to me. So much that it scares me! I have constant nightmares of you guys dying like Josh and Taylor while I stood by, unable to stop it from happening! It scares the shit out of me because all of my life I have made it a point to not care about anybody. Jett snuck in and then he became my one exception and I was okay with that. But then I Choose Dauntless and suddenly I have this group of friends and then I got everyone and-" I look away, tears gleaming in my eyes and threatening to fall. "And then I lost two of them. And it hurt. And that scares the shit out of me because I never realized how much I have to loose. If anything happens to you guys- to you...it would destroy me. And I guess I started shoving you guys away to protect myself. I know I shouldn't have and I'm so fucking sorry about it!" I shout, tears slipping down my cheeks. "I'm sorry." I whisper and Ellie breaks down sobbing.

I hurry forward and wrap her in a hug, our hearts bleeding for each other. Whirling, Ellie flings her arms around me as we cry, the sobs ripping themselves out of us as we hold each other close. As we silently and verbally apologize.

It takes a few minutes for us to calm down after crying but we do and Ellie smiles at me through the tears gleaming in her eyes.

"I'm sorry." She says softly and I shake my head, running my fingers through her shoulder-length copper hair.

"You have nothing to be sorry about. And I have everything to be sorry about. I never should have pushed you guys away. It's just- the thought of losing anyone else scared the shit out of me." I tell her quietly as we curl together on the couch. "And I didn't even realize it but I was using my Dauntless-leader-in-training and new...thing with Eric to pull even farther away from you guys." I tell her, taking another sip of my drink.

"That was a dick move." Ellie grumbles, our heads propped up together. Laughing a little, I nod in agreement.

"I won't do it again and if I _ever_ do, I am giving you permission to beat the hell out of me." I tell her and Ellie giggles. "I am completely serious. While I was distanced from you guys, I had nothing to distract me from training except Eric and while that is fun, I really did miss you guys. I miss hanging out in the Pit, getting tattoos, piercings and changing our hair. I miss pranking the guys and just having fun with all of you." I tell her and Ellie smiles, cuddling closer. "Tell me about our group?" I ask softly and she nods.

"Well, Sasha and Dean are going strong. As are Zander and Tabby, Ty and Violette, Blade and Emily, Andy and Howard, and Ander and I. Raza and Misty aren't official but we can all see them dancing around each other. Misty and Jon are close but as siblings. And Mike and Raven are split up." Ellie says, avoiding my gaze as she stares down at her drink.

"I noticed them arguing, why was that?" I ask curiously and Ellie grimaces.

"Raven got drunk and slept with some guy after her and Mike got into a fight. She was still a virgin before then." Ellie says and I wince.

"Yikes." Ellie nods in agreement.

"Yeah, that really hurt Mike because I think he was going to propose to her. He had even gotten permission from Max to visit his parents and let them know." I rub my head, wincing at how badly Mike must feel. "Uh huh, and that isn't even the worst part. Raven thinks she might be pregnant."

"No! Oh, this is such a huge pile of steaming shit!" I exclaim and Ellie nods, completely in agreement.

"Yeah, things really haven't been going their way. They were arguing today because Raven told Mike about thinking she is pregnant."

"Didn't she ever get her shots to protect against that?" I ask rhetorically and Ellie shrugs.

"I don't think she even knew about them." I let out an explosive sigh, thinking sadly at how my group seems to be tearing apart from the inside.

"Ander said that you guys all ride the train on Thursdays now." I bring up, changing the subject and Ellie nods.

"Yeah, that was my idea. I was trying to bring the group back together but I'm not you and all we mostly do is argue." Ellie says sheepishly and I laugh a little.

"Well I plan on joining you guys this Thursday." I tell her.

"What about Eric?" She asks and I shrug.

"What about him?"

"Well aren't you guys dating?" Ellie asks curiously and I shake my head.

"Nah, we are just sleeping together. We aren't really even friends." I explain and she raises her eyebrows but doesn't comment, a knowing look in her eyes that I miss.

"Well what else is new in your life?" Ellie asks, her turn to change the subject. I start to shrug but a small smile spreads across my face.

"I'm seventeen now." I tell her and her eyes widen.

"What?! When was your birthday?" She demands.

"At the end of Stage Three." I tell her, shrugging a shoulder. "The day after actually." Ellie watches me with a little hurt.

"Why didn't you tell me?" She asks, pouting and I laugh.

"I don't really celebrate my birthday. My mom died on it." I tell her, a shy look on my face. Understanding the small nugget of my past as the treasure it is, Ellie smiles thankfully at me and pulls me into a hug. I wrap my arms around her and hug back, happy knowing that I have Ellie back.

"Well I'm going to help you get the group back, starting with the girls. Then when we are all together, we are going to change that sad memory into a happy one." Ellie says determinedly and I hug her happily.

"I really did miss you, Els." I whisper, showing her more of my rare vulnerability. Hugging me back just as fiercely, Ellie smiles into my shoulder.

"Promise you won't do that again?" Ellie asks quietly and I nod.

"I promise."

**XXX**

I wake up the next morning curled on the couch with Ellie and smile happily as I untangle myself to get dressed.

I emerge from my room 10 minutes later, dressed in my black cargo pants, a soft black tank top and a cropped deep red leather jacket with fingerless black gloves and my silver belly chain. I pull a brush through my hair as I move over to the couch where Ellie is sprawled out.

"Ellie!" I call and she whines, snuggling into the couch. "C'mon Els, we need to get up. Don't you have an Amity visit today?" I ask her and she nods sleepily, opening one blue eye to glare at me.

"Why'd you have to remind me?" She pouts and I giggle, ruffling my hair and deciding to leave it down today.

"You don't wanna be late, I know you are going with Angel and your mentor. And I know for a fact that Angel isn't such an angel when it comes to timing." I say, rolling my eyes. Laughing, Ellie sits up.

"Angel isn't all that bad, she just doesn't like you because she has a thing for Eric. And the only one he ever notices is you." Ellie says and I feel a burst of glee.

"Whoops." I smirk wickedly and Ellie rolls her eyes at me, getting up.

"Can I borrow some clothes?" She asks, stretching. I nod and grin. "Nothing too crazy. I _am_ visiting my old Faction." She says warily and I scoff.

"All the more reason to dress crazily Dauntless. So you can show them it was the _right_ choice for you to leave Amity. It will show them how content you are in your Chosen Faction. Come on! Please? I promise I won't pick anything that is too revealing." I plead and Ellie slumps her shoulders in defeat. Squealing, I drag her into my room and slam the door shut.

_"No!"_

_"Please?"_

_"Goddamn it! I said no to that other top!"_

_"Els!"_

_"I am not wearing that."_

A few minutes later, Ellie and I emerge from my room. Ellie is dressed in a cropped, sleek deep red tank top, tight black pants, chunky black and silver combat boots, red fingerless gloves, a silver belly chain and a black cropped leather jacket. Her copper hair is spiked and wavy down her shoulders and I lined her lips with a deep red. Her blue eyes are piercing and fierce with smoky make-up and I grin happily.

She looks perfectly Dauntless.

Ellie grumbles playfully but I saw the pleased look in her eyes when she look in the mirror. She loves the look.

"You just had to dress us to look like twins, didn't you?" She asks and I grin playfully at her.

"Yup!" I head eagerly for the door and Ellie drags me to a stop by my jacket.

"What?" I ask her and she raises a fiery eyebrow at me.

"Shoes." She says and I look down at my feet.

"Oops." I laugh sheepishly as Ellie giggles and head into my room. I slip on a pair of black sneakers and bounce back out. "Ready! Race you there and the last one to the Pit is an Amity!" I chirp happily and we both shove and push as we race out the door.

**XXX**

Laughing full and loud, Ellie and I barrel into the Pit.

"Wait! We both made it at the same time. Does that make us both Amity or both Dauntless?" Ellie asks curiously and we hold each others gaze in perfect agreement.

"Both Dauntless!" We chorus and laugh, heading to the food line. Ander slides up behind Ellie, his gaze heated as he presses a kiss to her neck and wraps an arm around her waist.

"Hey Ander. Keep your eyes up here." Ellie teases playfully and he smirks, his green gaze flitting over to me and softening to a more brotherly look.

"I see you two made up." He says, a pleased smirk spreading on his face. I cock an eyebrow, wrinkling my nose teasingly at him.

"Yeah, it was fairly easy to make up after we made out." I say casually, walking away with my tray of food.

"Paz!" Ellie scolds laughingly, catching up to me as we leave Ander staring after us with wide eyes.

"My heart can't handle shit like that!" He teases, catching up and sliding into the seat beside Ellie. Exchanging gleeful looks, we turn to him at the same time.

"Ohh, you _poor_ baby." Ellie breathes, nuzzling his neck. He stiffens, mouth open and eyes wide. Giggling, I wiggle my eyebrows at him and he snaps his mouth shut; a red flush spreading on his cheeks.

"So, when are you going to approach the rest of the group?" Ander asks, trying to change the subject and I smirk.

"This is our table from before. If they don't sit down at it, I plan on dragging them over here. Easy." I shrug my shoulders and Ander snorts.

"Yeah, something tells me it won't be _easy_." He mutters, mocking my voice and making it high-pitched. Ellie and I explode into laughter, Ander flipping us off with an easy grin. Giggling at him, our eyes are bright with laughter. Looking past Ander, I see Misty and Raza. Raza is watching with a look of vague hope and Misty with curiosity. Nudging Ellie, I point at the two. Their eyes widen and they turn on their heels but Ellie and I laugh and race after them.

"Oh no you don't!" Ellie shouts as we hop up. I go after Misty and Ellie snags Raza's arm. Groaning, he lets himself get dragged back to our table while I look at Misty.

"This is an "I'm such an ass please forgive me" breakfast." I tell her, offering a sweet smile. She surprises me with a happy smile and lunges forward, hugging me.

"It's good to have you back." She whispers and I beam, hugging her back and then dragging her over to the table. Raza avoids my gaze and my heart falls a little.

"Raza? All joking aside, I really am an ass for pushing you guys away. I just got caught up in everything and I really hate myself for ignoring you guys." I tell him softly and his shoulders stiffen a little bit. Like with Ellie, I can see he is holding back the hurt that I caused when I abandoned the group.

"Yeah, well we hate you for that too!" He snaps angrily, Sasha and Dean walking past and stopping to nod in agreement.

"You tell her!" Sasha snipes and I flinch a little, not expecting the level of venom in her tone.

"Knock it off, Sasha!" Raza snaps, bristling angrily as he turns on her. Her eyes widen but she gives a curt nod. The defensive reaction from Raza makes hope rise in my chest as he turns back to me. "You were the one person none of us expected would turn her back on us. You have been our leader and our friend, so when you slowly started pulling away, none of us thought that would last long. But it did and we were forced to try to hold each other together alone. But you are the glue that holds all of us together. Without you, we have no reason to be a group. As you can see, you ignoring us has had consequences. Our group has shattered and I don't think one breakfast is going to fix that." He says angrily and I lean forward, noticing that by now, the entire group has gathered around and is nodding with him.

"Then lets make it more than one breakfast. Let's throw in Pit activities. Let's eat together at lunch. Let's eat together at dinner. Let's go on Thursday train rides. The only way to fix this is to spend time with each other. And I am more than willing to do that." I say earnestly, meaning every word. He falters, hope in his eyes before he hides it.

"We really fucking missed you, Paz. Why now?" He asks lowly as the others sit down at the table so they can listen and observe.

"Because Ellie snapped at me. She opened my eyes to it." I explain, sending a fond smile at her. She beams proudly at the group, wrinkling her nose cutely at me.

"We can't just forgive and forget." Raza says but I can tell his resistance is weakening. I nod solemnly at him and cast my gaze around the rest of the table. They avoid my gaze, toying with their food.

"I asked for today off." I announce quietly at that immediately garners surprised glances.

"Why?" Ellie asks happily, the only one who has forgiven me unconditionally.

"So I could make it up to you guys. I want to spend the day with you guys. The guys and I are going to spend today fighting it out and then tonight the girls and I are going to work things out at my apartment." I tell them and the girls roll their eyes.

"What the hell are we supposed to do while you deal with the guys then?" Raven snaps, shooting Mike a dirty look. He sneers at her, not backing down. Hurt flares in her eyes and he clenches his jaw, looking away. Sorrow wells up in my heart as I see the proof of my broken group right in front of me.

"Spend time together. I don't really know." I answer and Ellie grins, bouncing in her seat.

"I am going to Amity, you guys wanna come as part of our guard?" She asks and the girls exchange glances before rolling their eyes and nodding.

We finish breakfast in silence. I see Jett with Lyrica and an automatic smirk spreads across my face. He smirks back and gives me an encouraging look, warming me.

'You got this.' He mouths and I send him a fond smile as I lead the guys away.

I've got this.


	16. Chapter 16

A/N: Disclaimer: I don't own the Divergent world. I only own Pazia. (Pronounced: Pah-ze-ah.) All outfits are on my profile. This story is set after Four and Eric became Dauntless but two years before Tris became Dauntless.

**_Rating:_** _M_

**_Word_**_** Count:** 7, 252_

_Just a heads up, I am updating on Fridays now instead of Monday. Also, Christmas break I won't be able to update. Sorry :(_

**Chapter Sixteen**

* * *

_**Previously on Battle Scars:**_

_We finish breakfast in silence. I see Jett with Lyrica and an automatic smirk spreads across my face. He smirks back and gives me an encouraging look, warming me._

_'You got this.' He mouths and I send him a fond smile as I lead the guys away._

_I've got this._

* * *

"Ready, set go!" I shout and we launch ourselves off the train, all of us easily rolling and popping to our feet after we land.

"Why are we here?" Ty snaps as they jog after me. I flip so I am jogging backwards, facing their hard glares.

"Because we are going to be playing Hunt the Hunter. You guys are going to give me one minute to hide and then you hunt me down." I announce and Ander shoots me a panicked look. Hunt the Hunter is only ever played when someone wants to get retribution from someone. It is an extreme reaction, considering it is only ever used when there are accusations of rape, murder and betrayal involved. But what they don't know, is the 'bullets' in the guns I gave them are the simulation paintball bullets.

It helps boost my confidence that I can win these guys over when I see the uncertain looks they are sporting.

"You sure?" Raza asks and I meet their gazes evenly, a small smirk playing on the edges of my mouth. They lean forward, excitement flaring in their eyes as I nod.

"One minute." I remind them and then I take off across the field, heading swiftly into the trees. I run for a few more moments, purposefully leaving a trail of cracked branches, overturned rocks and deep footprints in the soft soil. Then I climb a tree carefully and travel back by leaping on the branches. I settle down on the branch, keeping an eye on them gathered together.

5..

4..

3..

2..

...

1.

They lunge for the trees, Ty taking the lead as they follow my trail.

I watch from above, silently following in the trees. They reach where the trail dies out and then they split up. I follow Ty and Mike, dropping down and silently shooting them. Swearing with pain, they turn on me; shooting without holding back. I cry out as the burning pain flashes through my arms and chest. Their eyes widen as they see me and they stop shooting.

"You guys are with me now." I order, meaning it in more than one way. They exchange glances before looking back at me and grinning.

"It's good to have you back." Mike admits, swooping me in a huge hug. Laughing, I clutch him back as Ty pulls me away from him.

"We really missed you." He confides with a sweet smile and I nod back.

"I missed you guys too. I just didn't let myself realize it until I slowed down. I really am sorry. I never wanted to hurt you. Any of you." Nodding, the guys gesture for me to take the lead. I melt into the trees, my hand on the trigger as Ty and Mike flank me. We catch up to Raza and Ander and start shooting.

"What the fuck?! Why you gotta hit me in the ass?" Ander complains, pulling a dart out of his butt. Giggling, I shrug playfully and look at Raza. He slowly nods, a wide grin spreading across his face. I pull him into a hug, ruffling his ash blonde/orange/purple tipped hair. Snickering playfully, he ducks away from my hand.

"Let's go get the rest of the group." I tell them and they nod, falling behind me as we search out our guys. We spot them a split second before they open fire on us. Dean, Zander, Sam, Jon, Blade, Andy and Howard are merciless, shooting until they run out of bullets. The pain throbs all over and I glare dangerously, slowly raising my gun; my guys mirroring my action.

"Run!" Zander shouts and we chase them through the woods as they head back to where the train dropped us off. Shouting and laughing wildly, Raza, Mike, Ty, Ander and I race after them. Once they reach the clear field, we fire on them. They shout and hop around, pulling darts out and trying to dodge more. Once we run out of ammo, I look at my guys with a wicked grin.

"Charge!" I shout and we lunge at the group of seven, outnumbered but not caring. We wrestle with the other guys, laughing and not caring about the dirt and paint covering us. In the end though, Zander and Dean turn on Sam, Jon, Blade, Andy and Howard to help us pin the others down.

We are laughing and talking loudly, sprawled on the ground and letting the sun soak into us. While we wait for the train, the guys start challenging each other to do stupider and stupider-er stunts.

"Race you to the trees and back!" Turned into: "Race you to the train tracks, to the trees, to the group, to the trees and back!" Turned into: "I bet I can throw a knife farther than you!" Turned into: "I'm a better wrestler!" Turned into: Complete chaos.

8 hours later when the train comes back around, we are as relaxed as if I had never cut myself off from them to begin with.

"Last one on the train is Abnegation!" Raza shouts and takes off running.

"Hey!" Andy (a former Abnegation) shouts indignantly. Laughing, I drag him with me and we swiftly catch up to Raza. The train roars louder and barrels by. But, in this moment, we all continue to lope effortlessly as we shove and jostle each other. We feel connected right now and as the sun paints us in red and gold, we are a wild but loyal family.

**XXX**

"-Still can't believe you broke that tree!" Jon shouts and we burst into laughter, Raza pouting.

"I didn't break it! It just...crumpled." He says sheepishly, prompting another round of laughter as we head into the Pit. "That thing was faulty!" He protests and I laugh breathlessly, leaning on Sam. Our faces are flushed and our eyes bright as we burst into laughter. We grab some food and head over to the table, greeting the girls happily.

The cold glares I get sharply remind me that I haven't won over my whole group.

Not yet anyway.

I don't let it bother me though, content to tease and jostle the guys. Ellie watches happily, leaning into Ander's side.

"So what did you guys do?" She asks, looking over our paint stained clothes, dirt covered forms and wildly happy eyes. Silence falls as we awkwardly avoid looking each other in the eyes, not having planned out an answer to this question.

"Nothing much!" I sing-song and Raza snorts into his food. I giggle, Mike and Ty bumping friendly fists while Jon, Zander and Dean snicker. Andy and Howard lean on each other, watching with amusement.

"Really?" Ellie drawls suspiciously and I nod, struggling to keep the innocent look on my face as I elbow Mike's side.

"Yup! Jett!" I cough-shout, getting his attention and distracting Ellie.

"Hey Paz. I see you guys have been having fun." He remarks, looking at us and raising an eyebrow.

"Sit with us?" I ask, shoving Raza's shoulder so he can move to the side. He shoots me a playfully dirty look but moves, Raven scooting farther down and pressing closer to Emily's side. I look at Jett pleadingly and he grins at me, a small dimple in his cheek showing as he rounds the table and slides in beside me, dropping an arm around my shoulders. I lean into his side, his familiar warmth seeping soothingly into me as I relax completely.

"It's good to be back." Jett says, his dark eyes gleeful as he tucks me closer into his side. Laughing a little, I flick his nose and he grins wider.

"Why were you gone for so long?" Mike asks curiously, his grey eyes studiously ignoring Raven. Hurt flares in her eyes but Emily whispers softly to her, distracting her from her emotional pain. Jett stiffens, clenching his jaw. A little worried at his reaction, I reach up and tug on his dark hair. It has grown longer and I know he has forgotten to get it cut again.

"I was requested away." Jett answers and I freeze in my actions, suspicions stirring in me.

"By who?" I ask and Jett just raises a dark eyebrow. I narrow my dark blue eyes, tensing up as I plan to confront Eric. "Why?" I demand and he smirks, tugging me closer. Off balance, I tumble into his lap, cuddling closer as he wraps his arms around me.

"I'm guessing this has something to do with it." Jett rumbles, lowering his head to bury his head in my neck. I laugh softly, the rage simmering below the surface as I twine my fingers in Jett's soft, dark hair.

"Eric can go screw himself. I missed you. All of you." I look around at the group. The guys grin and smirk at me, proud looks in their eyes as they raise their chins arrogantly. The girls shift in their seats, Ellie not even noticing my words as she whispers in Ander's ear, running her fingers down his chest. "I'll see what I can do to get him to stop." I tell Jett strongly and he quirks his lips in a half-smirk.

"Course you will." He says confidently and I grin, my eyes sparkling happily. Jett strokes his fingers down the line of my jaw and I nuzzle the palm of his hand happily, content on his lap. Cuddling me close as he strikes up a conversation with Ander, Jett runs his fingers through my hair. Automatically leaning into his hand, my eyes drift half closed as I look at his face. Jett's skin is tanned and his dark eyes and hair are all the more striking because of it.

His features are strong and sleek, like a dangerous panther.

His dark eyelashes are sinfully long and could almost beat out mine in length. Muscles ripple on him, lean but still powerful. His fingers are scarred from nicks from handling daggers and he has a tattoo winding down his arms and on the back of his hands. The black clothes hug his form and he looks dangerous in his cargo pants with guns strapped to the outside.

Glancing down at me, Jett smirks softly at me as he nods to something Ander is saying. I smile sweetly back at Jett, sleepiness washing over me. Playing with his fingers, I flip Jett's hand in mine and trace the back of his tattoo. He may look dangerous but I know he would never hurt me. My tablet vibrates in my pocket but I ignore it, not wanting to deal with anything work related today.

Not now that I have my group back.

Well, most of it.

"Alright girls, are you ready to retire for the night?" I ask and they shift in their seats again but Ellie and I shoot them pleading looks. Caving, they sigh and rise from their seats together. Beaming, I nuzzle Jett's cheek and swing my legs to the side, getting off his lap. Jett catches my wrist and I look at him, blue eyes warm as he flashes a smile at me. "Yeah?" I ask and he rises, causing me to let my head fall back some as I look up at him.

"I hear that you are going to be going to Amity later this week. Try and request I be a part of the soldiers that go with you." Jett says, a secret glimmering in his dark eyes.

"Why?" I ask, leaning forward and he smirks as I pout; knowing he won't tell me.

"You'll see." He says, stroking my cheek again and yanking his fingers back as I snap playfully at them. Grinning happily at him, I step back as I prepare to leave with the girls. "Later, Pazzy!" He says loudly and I freeze, horror in my eyes as I hear the group snicker incredulously.

"Jett!" I cry, blushing a little at the extremely childish nickname. That one is ancient, along with Jetty.

"Payback for calling me Bean Pole." He teases and I roll my eyes.

"That was all the way back in Stage One!" I cry out and Jett laughs, his deep, infections laughter tugging my own true laughter out of me as I punch his shoulder. Jett wraps his arms around my waist and I wrinkle my nose at him as I squirm to get away, laughing happily as he nuzzles my neck. "Stop!" I protest playfully and Jett sighs, mock-sadly as he lets me go. Giggling softly, I wind around him in a happy hug before bouncing away with Ellie flanking me.

"How long have you two been friends for?" Ellie asks as a grinning Jett retakes his seat with the guys. I shrug, slipping around tables and making my way for the door.

"Ages. As far back as I can remember, Jett is a prominent part of my memories." I answer, Izzy slipping forward and flanking my left side.

"Have you guys ever been more than..." Izzy trails off suggestively and I can see the other girls trying to listen without looking too curious. Smiling a little at their obvious curiosity, I nod at them.

"Yeah, only once though. I was fifteen and Jett was sixteen. It was the night before his Testing Day." I admit, Ellie's eyes widening with triumph as she exchanges a glance with Izzy. "We talked about it though and regardless of him leaving Erudite, Jett and I are best friends. We care deeply about each other, just not in that way." I interrupt their glances, not liking the meaning behind it.

"Would you guys ever-"

"No." I interrupt Izzy before she can finish the question as I see Eric rise from his seat and stalk away. "How long was Eric there for?" I question and Ellie shoots me an incredulous look, joined by more than half the girls.

"You tell us, normally the two of you don't let each other out of sight!" Ellie exclaims and I roll my eyes, displeased at the thought of Eric listening in to the conversation I was having with the girls. Turning on my heel, I leave the Pit with the girls. Tonight is not about Eric and his jealous temper. It is about fixing the bond I have with the girls.

"Are you and Eric dating?" Tabby asks bluntly, her golden hair streaked through with blood-red. Her hazel-gold eyes are locked on mine, still a little frosty but ultimately interested.

"No." I answer, just as curtly as when they asked if I would date Jett. "We screw around. There is nothing more than that." I answer and Tabby rolls her eyes doubtfully.

"So if I decided I wanted to go after Eric-"

"I may not be dating him but I refuse to be have sex with him if he is screwing other girls." I tell her warningly and she smirks, pleased for some reason as she shares a glance with the girls.

"So, just to be clear- you have absolutely no feelings for Eric?" Violette teases, her bangs grown out, chopped short and died an electric green that brings out the honey shade in her blonde hair and the green flecks in her hazel eyes.

"Exactly." I nod and Misty rolls her hazel eyes with a teasing smile. She grew out her hair past her shoulders and died her bangs black to match the streaks in her wild brown curls. I feel a smile growing on my face at the mischievous smile on her face.

"What would happen if Eric had feelings for you?" Misty asks and my smile is instantly gone.

"Then he would be gone." I snap my fingers. "Quicker than that. I don't want a boyfriend or anything like that right now. I've had exactly one in my life and I don't want anymore." I tell them and curiosity lights their eyes as we reach my apartment. I pull out my key and unlock the door, the girls filing in behind me.

My living area has a new comfortable leather couch with a clear low table in front, my books stacked up neatly in the middle. There is a large black rug underneath the area and my desk is pushed against the wall, opposite from a large bookcase. In the middle far wall is a flat tv screen that is currently blank.

My kitchen has been redone so it is bigger and more open.

My silver fridge is almost empty though since I prefer to eat in the Pit. My room was redone so that I have more closet space, for myself and the girls who like to share my clothes and store some of their own with mine for nights like this.

"So...this boyfriend. Tell us more about him." Emily says, heading straight for the kitchen and grabbing a few bottles of vodka, bourbon, whisky and beer for us to start out with.

"I don't really want to- fine!" I cry as Raven grabs a pillow and waves it threateningly at me. We laugh a little as I pull the pillows off the couch with the cushions and toss them to the side before pulling out the bed. Violette and Ellie drag the small glass table to the side so that I can unfold the bed and I nod at them in thanks.

We all pile on the bed, unfolding blankets and just cuddling together.

"Tell us." Tabby orders and I wrinkle my nose at her, sipping from the whisky. Relaxing back as I cuddle beside Ellie and Izzy, I lay back and stare at my ceiling.

"His name was Adam..."

_"Hi." Startled, I look up as the book falls from my suddenly limp fingers. "Oh, sorry!" A boy reaches down and picks up my book, handing it to me with a shy smile. His dark brown eyes are shy but friendly. His hair is a dark brown, curling on the too long ends in a charming way. A blush rises in my cheeks and I gently take the book from him, hugging it to my chest._

_"It's okay." I say softly, straightening as I try to hide my bout of shyness. He shrugs a little, his loose tie swinging as he too big shirt wrinkles with the motion.  
_

_"I shouldn't have startled you. I'm Adam." He says, smiling sweetly and I answer with my own sweet smile; conscious of how cute he is. He holds out his hand and I carefully take it, a little hesitant of the human contact. He flashes a wide smile when I shake his hand and his dark eyes gleam at me._

"He sounds like Jett." Ellie interrupts, the only one bold enough to make a comment like that. Startled, I twist so I can narrow my eyes at her. Smiling roguishly, Ellie winks and wiggles her eyebrows.

"Do you want to hear the story or not?" I demand and Raven hits Ellie with a pillow, prompting giggles from the copper-haired brat.

"We do! Continue!" Raven demands and I sigh, sitting back.

_"My name is Pazia." I answer shyly, glancing down at the floor before raising my eyes again, remembering that I need to portray confidence. Erudite is all about knowledge and confidence in oneself._

_"I know. I was coming over because I recognized you from our Math's class." Adam says and my eyes widen with shock. He came over to see...me._

_"Oh." I answer lamely and a pink blush tinges his cheeks._

_"Would you like to go out with me?" He blurts out and I stare at him, shocked. "Or..you don't have to. Sorry, I'll go now." He mutters, discouraged. He turns away and I break out of my shock, hurrying after him and tugging on his arm._

_"No! I mean, yes! I would like to go out with you." I answer him and a beaming smile spreads across his face as I blush._

"That was how we met." I finish and Izzy smirks.

"What _is _it with you and Eric? From the sounds of things, your type is dark hair and eyes." She comments and I smirk.

"Eric is the farthest possible from what Izzy just said." Tabby agrees.

"It is the physical attraction to Eric that I am drawn to. The muscles, the power in his movements. The fact he likes to have total control and I can make him lose that control...It's a combination of things." I shrug and Raven laughs.

"That sounds like someone-" She cuts herself off, looking morose. She stares down at her fingers, a twist to her lips that makes me think she is about to cry. Violette and Misty flank her on either side and they lean into her protectively.

"I heard about the guy you slept with." I say softly and Raven nods, meeting my gaze shamefully.

"Yeah. I am positive I am pregnant but when I told him- he didn't want to listen." Raven says, on the verge of tears. Our strong, Dauntless friend is about to cry. I feel a surge of fierce, protective anger as I crawl beside her. Wrapping my arm around her shoulders, I look her in the eyes.

"Screw him then. We can help you with your baby. If you decide not to keep it, then we will support you on that too." I promise her and Raven smiles gratefully, her tears happy now. She flings her arms around me and cries into my neck. I run my fingers soothingly through her dark hair, rocking comfortingly back and forth.

Meeting the groups eyes over her shoulder, I see my protective anger reflected back.

After a few moments, Raven pulls back and wipes her eyes.

"Thanks guys." Raven says sincerely, looking around at us gratefully. Emily, Ellie, Izzy, Tabby, Misty and Violette surround her with a large group hug that I am yanked into.

"We love you." Ellie says softly, the former Amity more comfortable with speaking about love. Pulling back, we pour a few glasses of alcohol. Raven sips from her cup of juice I snuck from the kitchens and smiles happily around at us.

"Have I mentioned you guys are the best?" She asks and we burst into a round of laughter and shouted comments.

**XXX**

The next morning I wake up at the bottom of the pile with a foot in my face.

Laughing lowly, I shove the foot to the side and carefully wiggle free. Emily snorts and rolls over, right onto Violette who is already using Misty as a human pillow. Pulling out my tablet, I frown at the messages from Izayah and swipe them away so I can snap a quick photo. Saving the picture, I lower the tablet and scan the messages.

Izayah wanting to know where I am, when I am coming in, what I am doing and finally...why I didn't tell him we had yesterday off. Snickering apologetically, I shoot him a quick message.

_~Today we are working, yesterday was your off day. Get your lazy ass up and meet me in the Pit in half an hour. - Paz~_

Giggling to myself, I pad into my room and flick the light on.

I move over to my closet and fling the doors open, scanning the clothes.

I need to go shopping.

As much as I love my cargo pants and crop tops, I am getting bored of wearing that every. Single. Day. Grabbing a pair of black leather pants, a soft scoop-necked red tank top and my cropped black leather jacket, I go to the shower. Dropping my clothes down, I strip and get in the shower.

It is a bit odd to be showering without having to be teasing Eric in here. I scrub down, the silence peaceful as I rinse the soap off. Lingering in the shower longer than needed, I pout a little as I finally shut the hot water off and climb out, grabbing my towel. I normally don't get time to savor the warmth of the shower...my mind is usually on..._other_ things.

I dry off and slip into my clothes, padding out of the bathroom as I dry my dark hair with the towel.

Chaos greets me.

Clothes are being flung around as the girls try them on and discard them. Rolling my eyes, I get right in the middle of it and sort it out in seconds.

"Girls! What the hell?" I scold and they freeze, smiling sheepishly and exchanging looks. "We need to get you guys dressed properly." I tell them and nod at Tabby. With a smirk, she gets up and joins me, tossing her red streaked curls over her shoulder. In seconds we have gotten the girl outfits that look perfect.

"Here." Tabby hands me a pair of heeled leather ankle boots and I slip them on, standing up. "Perfect." She says with a conceited smirk and it hits me again that Tabby and I are really similar. We are both loud and confident, arrogant to a point. We excel at pretty much everything we set our minds to, we prefer to be in charge (and very rarely bow to anyone).

"We should train together some day soon." I tell her, wondering how well we would hold up in a fight. She gives me a fierce smirk, the challenge lighting up her hazel-gold eyes.

"Agreed." She says as the girls finish getting dressed. We file out of my room and apartment, heading down to the Pit.

"I have work to do today girls but wanna meet in the Pit tonight and party?" I ask and they shout approval as we begin jogging through the tunnels. Laughing, I swipe playfully at Raven. Laughing boldly, she dodges and races forward. We surge after her, a wild group. Dodging and shoving each other, we take our time heading down to the pit as we laugh and tease each other.

"You gonna sit with the Leaders?" Izzy asks warily as we reach the Pit. I look over at the unofficial-official table for the Dauntless Leaders, my eyes lingering on Eric. He is tense, talking with Max with narrowed steel eyes. I flick my gaze to Sienna but she is joking around with Conner. I turn to the girls.

"Nah. We should sit together. Do you think Cookie is serving chocolate cake?" I ask and we head over to get our food. About halfway there, Raza slides into the middle of the group and wraps an arm around Misty's waist. He presses a kiss to her cheek, nodding cheerfully at me. I smirk and send Misty a playful look. She tosses her head but smiles happily as she leans into him.

Ander scoops up Ellie, ruffling my hair. She cusses at him but laughs and he grins, green eyes glinting. Zander slings an arm around Tabby's waist, joking with Dean and Sasha. Sam pulls Izzy into a heated kiss and Emily leaps onto Blade's back, clinging playfully to him. Andy and Howard are talking with Jon and Mike. Raven ignores Mike, drawing Violette and Ty into conversation.

I marvel at how easily the group slides back into harmony now that I am here.

Worry slides in as I see the discord between Mike and Raven but that is for them to fix and not me. I sweep my gaze over the Dauntless gathered in the Pit. They are loud and bold, screwing around and arguing and laughing and joking. I try to figure out who Raven would have slept with but her and Mike were perfect for each other.

I just can't figure it out.

They were so happy...and I can't have been the only reason they broke up. I notice Raven glancing around discreetly and furrow my brow. She is looking for someone.

"Paz!" I turn when I hear Izayah, automatically smirking at my pseudo brother. "Why the hell didn't you tell me you had yesterday off?" He demands, slinging a friendly arm around my shoulders. Laughing, I shrug and smirk.

"I forgot to, that reminds me! How long did you wait around for me?" I tease and shoots me a dark look, a little distracted by a girl walking past.

"Hours, Paz. Hours." He says and I laugh, getting a plate of food.

"Whoops!" I get a slice of chocolate cake, immediately focusing on that over my other food.

"Why is it- that every time something like this happens, that is your go-to answer?" Izayah asks, focusing on me as he gets food too. I shrug, turning and walking to my table with my group gathered around me. Raven follows slower, watching me and Izayah curiously as she talks with Violette and Ty.

"Because the 'what the fuck' look on your face after I say it is hilarious." I answer honestly, sliding into my seat beside Jett. He lifts his arm, letting me slot into his side. I relax into him, completely at ease with my dark best friend. I twist my head, noticing his knuckles are a little raw. "What happened?" I ask, ignoring Izayah's pouting as he sits on my other side. Jett freezes a little but resumes eating off my tray.

"Nothing. Just an argument with someone." He answers and I raise my eyebrow, running my fingers gently over the red marks.

"These are swollen, did you even soak this in hot water then apply ice?" I ask and he shakes his head, his dark eyes reflecting his fondness for me. I sigh, starting to get up.

"Wait to doctor me _after_ we eat. Okay?" He asks and I sigh but settle back down, cradling his hand in my own carefully. Trying to let the warmth of my hands help ease the stiffness in his hand, I stroke his palm softly.

"How's Lyrica?" I ask and he grimaces a little, looking around covertly as I muffle my laughter.

"Clingy." He answers I nod in understanding. Jett can normally get in a relationship fairly easy but sticking with it is another thing entirely. The problems are numerous: the girls want too much too soon, the girls are too clingy, too perky, too somber...too everything. His girl problems amuse me after I get over my period of possessiveness.

Jett rolls his dark eyes at me, smirking faintly as I take a bite of my chocolate cake. Humming happily at the taste of the chocolate, I lean into him, glad I have everyone back.

"You look a little skinny, you haven't been eating enough lately." Jett says, pushing his tray it me, making it his turn to fuss over me. I roll my eyes but steal a slice of his bacon. He gives me a stern look and I laugh, shaking my head playfully at him.

"Relax! I can only eat so much at once!" I exclaim and he gives me a flat look.

"I have seen you inhale a shitload of food at once. Don't even try that on me." He says and I pout, glaring a little at him. Grinning now at my childishness, Jett tugs me closer with his arm around my neck. I relax into him as I look across the table at Ellie. She is blushing as Ander whispers in her ear. '

"Oy! Enough sex talk at the table!" I tease and silence falls as they freeze and the group turns to look at them with shit-eating grins and smirks.

"Paz!" Ellie shouts, blushing deeply and tossing a roll at me. I catch it in my mouth and take a bite, reaching up and removing it as I chew. I smirk at Ellie, giggling as she scoots a little apart from Ander. She shoots me a dirty glare, her cheeks still tinged with a red that matches Ander's. Jon ruffles his hair teasingly, instigating a little wrestling match. We watch, cheering them on until they get a little too rough and tumble off the bench.

Laughing happily, I watch with bright eyes as they get up and slump on the bench.

Jett ducks his head, snickering at them and Izayah watches, bewildered and unused to my groups wild antics. I nudge his side and Izayah flashes me a smirk, relaxing a little. Jett tugs on my curls, stealing my attention. I roll my eyes as I turn to him and he smirks at me, shrugging innocently.

I smile, grab the cake and smear it on his face.

"Damn, Paz!" He whines and reaches up to swipe his finger through it and eat some. I laugh behind my hand, blue eyes glinting happily. Unable to be annoyed with me for long, he smirks and smears a little cake on my face. I stare at him with wide eyes before slowly and deliberately grabbing the eggs off my plate and shoving them in his face. "Oh, gross!" He shouts, spitting them out and rubbing at his face.

I laugh hysterically, knowing that Jett hates eggs. The look on his face...I burst into giggles again, clutching at my stomach.

"Your...face!" I laugh, leaning into his shoulder. Rolling his eyes, Jett finally gets the eggs off and takes a deep swig of his chocolate milk. He then hands it to me so I can sip out of it. I wind my arm in his as the smooth chocolate slides down my throat and then hand it back. Jett takes it, wincing a little at the stiffness in his hand. "You done eating?" I ask him softly and Jett nods, knowing I am going to want to take care of his hand for him. "Alright, guys. I have to go to the Med Unit with Jett to get his hand wrapped. I'll see you guys at lunch?" I ask and they nod, laughing and waving their hands at me.

"Come on." Jett slings an arm over my shoulder as we leave. I lean into his side, examining his hand as we walk.

"Jett?" We both freeze when we hear the hurt tone in Lyrica's voice. I look up, seeing the beautiful brunette's eyes glittering with tears and locked on Jett's arm around my shoulders and his hand in mine.

"This...is not what it looks like." I am quick to clarify and Jett snorts, shaking his head. I can tell from the look in his eyes that he is about to break up with her. "I'm gonna wait over here." I tell him and Jett nods, shooting me a quick smirk and pressing a kiss to my temple before I leave.

I move a couple of tables away and slide onto the bench beside Conner. He looks up, amber eyes gleaming when he sees me.

"Do me a favor and go fuck Eric." He shoots off and I freeze, staring at him with wide eyes. Angel rolls her eyes, muttering something under her breath and stalking away. Sienna just bursts out laughing, leaning against Max's shoulder. He rolls his eyes and shakes his head but I can see the subtle amusement curving on his mouth.

"Fuck off, Conner!" I shoot back and he snickers.

"Seriously! He's been a hard-ass and won't let up!" Conner exclaims, causing me to take my turn in rolling my eyes.

"And that is different from everyday how...?" I question and he smirks at me.

"Because normally we have _you _around to distract him." Conner says laughingly. I slug him in the shoulder, smirking proudly.

"I make a good distraction, don't I?" I ask smugly, Conner rubbing his arm and smirking with me.

"The best damn one _I've_ ever seen. Normally Eric would be tired with you by now. The girls he picks only usually last a couple of days." He reveals and I shrug, straining my ears to try and hear how Jett and Lyrica's conversation is going.

"I just want you to remember-" I point an insistent finger at him. "-I am _more _than just a pretty face." I threaten him and Conner nods seriously.

"Obviously or you would never have won the Dauntless-Leader-In-Training position." He says and I nod, my ruffled feathers soothed as I sit back.

"Come on, Paz." Twisting at the tired rasp to Jett's voice, I look up at my best friend. His dark eyes are shadowed even more and there is a drawn look to him.

"I'm gonna take Jett to the Med Unit." I tell Conner and he nods, respect in his eyes as he looks at Jett.

"Nice job not going down in your fight with Eric yesterday." Conner says and Jett groans as I freeze.

"What?" I ask sharply, narrowing my eyes at the two of them. Conner gets an "oh shit" look on his face and Jett shrugs. I bite back the harsh words that want to explode out of me as I get up, my movements dangerously fluid as I swing my feet over the bench and stand. "Explain." I order and Jett nods, walking with me.

"I don't know exactly what set him off or if it was just a build up of anger and then it exploded but- yesterday I was coming back from leaving to go collect the days reports from other Border Patrol groups and the next thing I know- pain is exploding in my face." Jett says and I narrow my eyes, not seeing anything. He smiles ruefully and swipes at his cheek, revealing a deep purple bruise. My eyes widen as protective anger begins to brew inside of me. "I had some help hiding the bruise. I wanted to tell you about the fight but I wanted to do it privately." Jett says.

"So you fought back. What stopped the fight?" I ask, the fear of Jett being knocked unconscious...

"Max and Jenine Matthews stopped the fight. The moment she said something, Eric just froze and he left." Jett says and I cock my head to the side.

"Why was she here?" I ask curiously, momentarily distracted by my almost hero-worship of the brilliant Erudite leader.

"I don't know but she commended me on holding my own in the fight then left with Max." Jett says and I nod thoughtfully, the rage smoldering in my chest.

"Did he say why you were fighting?" I ask and Jett snorts.

"I was a little busy fighting for my life-" I flinch a little, dreading the thought of Jett dying. "-and I didn't pause to ask him what I did wrong." Jett says dryly and I give him a droll look as we get closer to the Med Unit. "I can guess why the fight happened." Jett admits. "You were talking to the girls about us...about the night we had together before my Testing Day." Jett says and my eyes widen as I remember Eric overhearing that.

"Shit! I'm sorry you got hurt because of that." I whisper, angry at myself now. How could I have been so thoughtless? Jett breaks me out of my thoughts by taking my hand and sweeping his thumb soothingly over the back.

"It wasn't your fault. He just needs to get a better handle on his temper." I smile ruefully at Jett as we reach the Med Unit. Doc looks up, smirking when he sees me.

"You haven't been here in a little while. Who beat you up?" He asks and I slip out from under Jett's arm, rolling my eyes at the older man.

"I didn't fight." I declare and he laughs at my pout.

"Are you here for your next contraption shot then?" He asks and Jett stiffens beside me. I wince, shooting daggers at Doc with my eyes. "Or not." He says. "I'm gonna go and let you take care of this." I nod at him, my eyes still narrowed.

"You do that." I turn to Jett, an apology on my lips. I catch sight of a deep pain in his dark eyes before it is gone so swiftly I doubt I even saw it. "You okay?" I ask and he nods, smirking carelessly.

"Yeah, just my ribs hurting. I'm pretty sure he didn't break them but he came pretty damn close." Jett jokes and I roll my eyes at him.

"Sit down." I order, lowering the bench so Jett won't tower over me. There is nothing worse than needing a stool when you are taking care of someone _way _taller than yourself. His dark eyes laughing playfully at me, Jett sits down on the lowered bench. I fill up a bowl with icy cold water and bring it over to him with a washcloth. Jett hands me his hand and I carefully pat the cuts on the knuckles before putting his hand in the cold water.

He sucks in a deep breath, his muscles straining as he fights the urge to pull his hand out. I wince with him, hating the look of pain that flares in his eyes.

"Shit, I forgot how cold the water gets." Jett groans, letting his head fall back. I quirk a small, genuine smile at him.

"Lift your shirt. I need to check your ribs." I order and he winces, lifting up the black fabric. When the large purple/red bruise spanning down his right side is revealed, my eyes widen and rage flares to life. I gently reach out, brushing my fingers over the bruise. Jett sucks in a deep breath, his muscles clenching at the movement. "Sorry." I mutter and turn away to get a long bandage and some salve. Tears burn in my eyes for the pain he must be in but I beat them back, never the type to let them fall.

"It doesn't hurt that bad." Jett said and I turned with the stuff in my arms, walking over to him.

"Liar." I mutter, setting the bandages and salve down beside him. I hesitate and check the clock. It has been five minutes. I grab another bowl and fill it with hot water, putting his hand in it. Jett hisses a little at the temperature change but doesn't comment. "Actually, lift your hand- we need to take your shirt off." Jett rolls his eyes at me with a half-smile, lifting his arms. "What are you, five years old?" I tease and Jett laughs as I lean forward to pull his shirt off. I tug it up and over his head and pause. "Lower your arms, you freaking giant." I grumble and Jett laughs, lowering his arms and hooking the shirt behind my neck.

"Am I the giant or are you the midget?" He asks playfully, tugging me forward. Laughing, I topple forward against his chest and snake a hand up to wrap around his neck.

"The giant. You are definitely the giant." I tease, my blue eyes warm with adoration as I look at him. Jett smirks, opening his mouth to make another witty comment and continue our banter.

Then the door opens...

...and Eric narrows his steel eyes.

* * *

Thank you so much everyone that followed and favorited this story!

Cassie-D1 - Thank you so much, it really means a lot to me.

iamUNSINKABLE- It really helps to read that! I love that you feel so close to Paz. And yeah, there is more to her and Eric than just sex but with how stubborn they are I doubt they will be fessing up any time soon. This is a slow burn in the emotional sense (but clearly not in the physical! :)

**Also, I will be doing the Review=Preview again, I put that on hold the past couple of chapters.**


	17. Chapter 17

A/N: Disclaimer: I don't own the Divergent world. I only own Pazia. (Pronounced: Pah-ze-ah.) All outfits are on my profile. This story is set after Four and Eric became Dauntless but two years before Tris became Dauntless.

**_Rating:_** _M_

**_Word_**_** Count:** 7, 967_

_**Chapter Sixteen**_

* * *

_**Previously on Battle Scars:**_

_"Am I the giant or are you the midget?" He asks playfully, tugging me forward. Laughing, I topple forward against his chest and snake a hand up to wrap around his neck._

_"The giant. You are definitely the giant." I tease, my blue eyes warm with adoration as I look at him. Jett smirks, opening his mouth to make another witty comment and continue our banter._

_Then the door opens..._

_...and Eric narrows his steel eyes._

* * *

My smile fades away as I look at Eric, suddenly acutely aware of the position I am in.

My chest pressed against Jett's bare chest with an arm around his neck and a hand on his chest. This looks pretty bad, I'll grant the rage brewing in his eyes that. But I am not without my own rage. I gently nudge Jett and he unhooks his arms from around my neck, shaking the shirt off his hands and standing, his dark eyes narrowed and his chin raised in that manly way guys like to do.

Silence reigns for a few moments until Eric moves into the room.

"What is going on?" He rumbles, furious steel eyes locked on Jett.

"Well, since you decided to take it upon yourself to beat up Jett- my best friend- over something that happened a couple of years ago, I needed to bandage him up." I say snarkily, allowing some of my anger to bleed into my voice as I cross my arms.

"What I just saw- that wasn't bandaging a friend." Eric snaps and I cock my head to the side, rolling my eyes as my heart begins pounding in my chest. My heart is beating in my chest with a mix of surprise and fear.

"What do you even care? No feelings, remember?" I remind him, ignoring the smaller part of me that _wants _him to start caring for me. I just refuse to be the one that falls and gets their heart torn to shreds. Because I do believe Eric has the potential to do that, make me care for him and then tear it all away.

"No one else, remember?" He shoots back and I narrow my eyes. He means that while we are sleeping together, we don't sleep around with anyone else.

"That isn't what this is." I tell him icily and Eric takes a step forward. Instantly, Jett is moving forward. I press a hand to his chest, keeping him from moving forward. His muscles ripple as he fights the urge to continue forward. Eric narrows his steel gaze, locking on where my hand touches Jett's lower chest. I refuse to lower my hand though, that stubbornness rising.

"Doc is in the other room." Jett tells him, his dark eyes holding a competitive fire. Eric turns and strides out, not bothering to say anything else. The moment he is gone, Jett is relaxed. He turns to me and I let the tension melt out of me. "Why do you even like that guy?" Jett asks, sitting down again and putting his hand in the bowl.

"I don't. No feelings involved except for lust." I answer automatically, opening the salve and scooping some into my palm.

"Don't give me that bull. I know you, Paz. Why do you bother with him?" Jett asks again as I gently smooth the salve onto his bruise.

"Why? Why does it even matter to you?" I ask Jett, my heart clenching painfully in my chest at the look in his eyes.

"I just don't want you falling for the wrong guy." Jett answers quietly, looking down at where I am smoothing the salve. The soft look in his eyes is different and it makes my heart race.

"Jett-" I clear my throat and he half-smiles, looking up.

"I don't want you getting hurt." Jett says, his caring reflected back at me.

"I won't. I know what I'm doing." I tell him and Jett nods, looking at his hand soaking in the bowl. His hair falls into his eyes and I pause to brush it back. "You forgot to cut your hair." I tease, falling back into the familiar interaction. Sensing the change, Jett flashes a playful smirk and rolls his dark eyes.

"I don't see what the big deal is!" He teases and I laugh, taking care of him just like he has taken care of me in the past.

* * *

_**~-Battle-Scars-~**_

* * *

"Paz!" Izayah shouts right in my ear and I jump, instinctively punching out. He doubles over choking from the hit to the throat and I stare at him for a second, shocked. I was just standing and thinking about what I could do to stop the fighting between Eric and Jett and then Izayah startled the crap out of me.

"Shit, Iz! What the fuck did you do that for?" I ask, helping him up as he gags.

"ME!?" He asks, his voice going high and I can't help my snickers. "I didn't just PUNCH you in the THROAT!" He shouts before doubling over and choking. Raven, Izzy, Tabby and Ellie watch curiously, having finished wandering through my BBT rooms.

"Is he okay?" Raven asks, the four of them moving closer.

"Yeah, he's just a big baby." I answer, laughing as Izayah straightens himself and tries to flash a flirty grin.

"If you will excuse me." He strides off and I laugh, staring after him.

"But what did you want?!" I call and he flips me off. Grinning, I turn back to catch Raven staring after him. "Oh, no girlie. I wouldn't go after him. All he has to offer is sex and heartbreak." I scold playfully and she jumps, looking away from him and rolling her eyes.

"Isn't it the same with Eric?" Raven asks and I gape at her, for once having no good comeback.

"Damn!" Tabby exclaims, staring at me with her wide, hazel-gold eyes.

"You shut her up!" Ellie says, awed.

"I never thought I would see the day!" Izzy adds and I snap my mouth shut, glaring at them.

"I don't know what you mean." I direct at Raven and she smirks.

"Riiight." She says, grinning wickedly and rocking back on her heels.

"I have lost all control!" I throw my hands up in the air and the girls break into laughter, leaning on each other to stay up. Despite myself, I find myself laughing with them. "You guys can always cheer me up." I smile fondly at them and they smirk back.

"We were going to go down to Ink and Shit. You wanna come with?" Izzy asks, her amber eyes showing a little hesitation.

"Sure!" I chirp, wiping away the apprehension they were feeling. They beam at each other, exchanging high-fives. I pull out my tablet and fire off a text to Izayah, letting him know I will be gone for a couple of hours. That done, I tuck it away in my jacket, following the girls as we head down to the store. I laugh at a few of their jokes, grinning and happy as we screw around together.

"Paz! Good to see you girl!" Tori calls from the back. I wave but don't stop to chat because she is busy tattooing a guy with bright pink hair. Exchanging a look with the girls, we laugh and move over to the tattoo sketches. I examine a few and feel the itch to draw for the first time in a little while.

Sometimes it is hard to think it has only been a month and a half since we became full-fledged Dauntless members. It feels like I have grown up here and this has been my home the whole time.

"I'm getting this one." Ellie announces we all crowd around her to peek. Five wolves are in a circle with their heads thrown back in a silent howl at a silver moon.

"That...is a pretty awesome tattoo." I tell her and the girls nod in agreement.

"Where are you going to get it?" Tabby asks, looking at another tattoo.

"On my back between my shoulder blades." Ellie says with certainty. I grin at her, happy to see how assertive she is being. Ellie has come a long way from the shy, quiet Amity transfer.

Tabby decides on an old fashioned revolver on her right hip, Izzy goes with a paw print on her inside wrist and I decide to go with a small rose on the back of my neck. Unlike the other times, this is one that has already been created so all I have to do is lift my hair and let one of the tattoo artists press it to the back of my neck. I shiver at the tiny pricks of pain, a warmth pooling in my stomach as he finishes.

"Thanks." I say breathlessly, cursing the fact Eric is pissed off right now. Hmm, angry sex...it could work. One glance at my happy friends though and I wince, knowing I can't abandon them. Not so soon after we just got back together. I shove the lust away and move over to exclaim about the tattoos.

"We are so badass!" Ellie brags, exaggeratedly tossing her hair. Giggling, we race for the door and chase each other through the tunnels, making our way back to my apartment. I shout happily as Ellie lunges and lands on my back, perching happily as I race forward. Izzy laughs, her amber eyes gleaming brightly as she playfully shoves Tabby to the side and runs faster. We nearly collide with my door and scramble inside, falling over each other in our rush to get inside.

Our cheeks flushed with laughter, we dance around, shouting to each other. Ellie switches on my music and a song with a happy, fast beat begins to beat through my speakers. I grab Tabby's hands and twirl us around, throwing my head back and laughing hysterically. She giggles with me, twirling us around until I stumble with dizziness.

I shriek when I get hit in the face with a pillow.

Silence falls as the music changes and I slowly turn to face a mischievous Ellie.

"I hope you realize..." I say slowly, moving forward and taking the pillow from her. "This means war!" In an instant, a happy gleam lights my eyes and hit her in the face with the pillow. In seconds, we all are shouting crazily and hitting each other with pillows, giggling and hollering just because we can.

I pause for a second, just looking around.

If I had never chosen Dauntless...this wild, free, fierce happiness never would have existed for me. In this moment, I am happier than ever that I chose to defy my father and chose this life. I could imagine my life without all of this. And as brightly as my life shines now, my life would have been steeped in darkness.

"Got ya!" Izzy shouts and tackles me down. I shriek with laughter, wiggling around and getting her in a playful headlock. Izzy starts shouting about her hair and I burst into uncontrollable laughter, leaning over as tears start appearing in my eyes. I am so _grateful _I have them.

"I love you guys." I tell them, looking around as I let my adoration show. Ellie beams, lunging forward and starting a group hug. I laugh happily, hugging her back and noogying her hair. She shouts happily, wiggling away and starting up a game of chase.

As I race around the room, shouting happily and laughing uncontrollably, I realize this is where I have always meant to be.

_Fuck_ Erudite.

I'm _Dauntless_ though and through.

* * *

_**~-Battle-Scars-~**_

* * *

"Aww, I have to go." Ellie pouts, glancing at the clock.

"What? Why?" I whine, sitting up from where I am laying upside down on the couch. Izzy and Tabby look up curiously, draped at the end with their feet curled up in each others stomachs.

"Cause Ander and I were going to have a train ride." Ellie says and I pout but nod, getting up and pulling her into a rare hug.

"Thanks for not giving up on me. Love you, Els." I whisper, wanting to show her just how important she is to me. When I pull back, Ellie has tears glinting in her eyes. She knows how hard and important it was for me to say that.

"That's what sisters are for, right?" She asks, sniffing a little and smiling brightly. "Bye guys!" Ellie calls and Izzy waves as Tabby flips her off. Ellie laughs happily as she leaves to have her date with Ander.

"What about you guys? How is it with Zander and Sam?" I ask. Instantly, an adoring smile lights up Izzy's face and I laugh.

"Perfect. He asked me to move in with him." Izzy reveals and my eyes widen. Tabby and I exchange a look as we scoot closer to her.

"Have you guys had sex?" I ask and Izzy nods, smirking.

"So you know what it means since you guys are moving in together." Tabby says and Izzy's smirk falters.

"What does it mean?" She asks, glancing between the two of us.

"It means he is getting serious about your guys's relationship." I tell her and Izzy nods, a hint of worry shining through.

"What do I do if he proposes? I don't want to get married just yet." Izzy says, twisting her fingers anxiously. I exchange another look with Tabby and we both reach out to take her hands.

"You tell him exactly that." I begin.

"And if he _really_ cares, he'll understand." Tabby finishes, exchanging a smile with me. Izzy smiles at the two of us, relief spreading across her face.

"Thanks. I've just been worried about that happening." Izzy says, shrugging her shoulder and climbing to her feet.

"Where are you going?" I ask as she head for the door.

"To go tell him I want to move in!" Izzy exclaims and then it is just Tabby and I. We laugh a little, getting up and silently cleaning the pillows and the snow white feathers that came from one of my mangled pillows. We laugh a little as we pick the feathers up, talking quietly and comfortably between us.

To think.

I used to hate her and she used to hate me.

Funny how the world works sometimes.

We had just finished throwing the feathers away and sat down with a glass of whisky when a knock sounded at my door. Tabby hopped up, striding over and pulling the door open.

"Can I_ help_ you?" She asks snarkily and I laugh, glancing up from my book. Izayah is standing in the doorway and I notice the way he seems exhausted, his hair sticking up on end- showing he has been running his fingers through it. I set down my book and take a deep gulp of my drink, knowing I am probably going to need it.

"Yeah, I need to talk to Paz." Izayah says, reaching up and running his hand through his hair.

"What's wrong?" I called, leaning forward. Izayah pushed past Tabby and sat on the coffee table across from me. He bounces his knee anxiously, his grey eyes wide and a little lost. Tabby sighs and finishes her drink, walking over and setting down the glass.

"And that's my cue to leave." She says, shooting Izayah a dirty look. I get up and pull her into a hug.

"See you tomorrow?" I ask and she shrugs.

"I think I have Border Patrol duty tomorrow. I might not be back for a few days." Tabby says and I frown a little, my envy at her going to Border Patrol pricking at me. I still want that job. The longing damn near _chokes_ me sometimes but I always shove it to the side, knowing I am Dauntless Leader in Training for a reason.

I haven't forgotten about Josh...Grief chokes me for a second before I block it off.

"All right. Bye and _be safe_." I say sternly. Tabby cracks a warm grin and leaves. I shut the door behind her and turn to Izayah, raising an eyebrow when I see him downing whisky straight from the bottle. I walk over and gently lower the bottle, setting it to the side as I curl on the couch. "What's wrong?" I ask softly, training my blue eyes on him. Izayah laughs a little, running his hands through his hair and tugging on it.

"I- I just don't know what to do! Fuck. How does something like this happen to me?" Izayah mutters and I sit forward, pressing two fingers to his chin and guiding his face up so he can look at me. His eyes are wild and lost and I feel a pang of remorse.

"Tell me what happened." I instruct gently and he nods, taking a deep shuddering breath.

"I- You know I sleep around." Izayah says and pauses, searching my eyes. Finding no disgust or judgment, he nods and continues. "Well...one of the girls. R- She- I." He stops, roughly rubbing his jaw and looking away. "She is pregnant." Izayah finally says and I nod, a little surprised this hasn't happened sooner. "I was drunk and I slept with her and...now I don't know what the fuck I am going to do." He confides in me and I take a deep breath, uncurling and leaning forward. "Tell me what to do, Paz." He whispers pleadingly and my heart breaks a little for him.

"I can't do that Izayah. This one _you_ are going to have to do. But not on your own." I gently wrap my arms around his shoulder and pull him into a soft hug. He wraps his arms around my waist, hugging me almost_ too_ tightly but I don't protest, knowing he needs the comfort.

"Please...what do I do?" He whispers and I pull back, sitting down again.

"You accept the information. And you do the right thing. You can't just let this girl do this on her own. I have a friend that is pregnant and she is scared to do this on her own because the guy that knocked her up won't man up." I say, softly but bluntly. Izayah flinches a little but nods.

"You'll help me?" He asks and I nod, quirking my lips in a soft smile.

"Of course. By the time I am finished helping you and Raven, I will have two children running around calling me Auntie!" I tease and Izayah laughs. It fades away before he starts laughing harder, doubling over. I laugh with him, the sound infectious even though I can hear the edge of hysteria. We laugh together and I can see Izayah is feeling better as his laugh calms a little. I hear a knock a the door and start to get up but the door is pushed open.

Eric is standing there, his blue eyes furious.

Our laughter cuts off and silence falls for a moment.

"Eric-" I begin and he strides in, his entire body rippling with muscles. I can hear Izayah scramble to his feet and a flash of panic lights up my insides. Izayah really isn't in the right frame of mind to be attacked right now. For that matter, neither is Eric if the enraged look in his eyes means anything.

"What the hell is he doing here?" Eric demands angrily and I scramble forward, pressing my hand to his chest to keep him from moving forward.

"Does it matter?" I ask, suddenly feeling exasperated. Why of all times did he have to walk in now? Eric knows that Jett and I are best friends. Stuff happened between us but that was ages ago. And Izayah is my big brother. Sleeping with him would be like sleeping with...my brother.

"Yes! Because you were supposed to be at my apartment!" Eric growls and I frown, glancing at the clock. Wow. I hadn't realized the time. It is almost 9.

"So? You aren't my mother and you _certainly _aren't my boyfriend. So why does it matter?" I snapped back and I could see the look in his eyes under the anger. ...It was jealousy. Shocked, I stared for a second before I snapped out of it. "And you have no right to be jealous! If Izayah and I wanted to start something, there is nothing you can do!" Instantly, Eric's anger was diverted to me.

"What the fuck does that mean?" Eric snaps angrily and I lower my hand, propping it on my hip.

"Exactly what I said." I snap back. "Besides-" I give a toss of my head. "Izayah and I were only talking about the work left for my BBT tournaments. Not that it is any of your business." I say coolly, my eyes narrowed on him. Eric backs off the slightest bit, his large fists still clenched. Taking the short moment of reprieve, I turn to Izayah. "We'll talk more about this tomorrow." I tell him and Eric stalks forward.

"Get the fuck out." He orders and Izayah bristles a little but heads to the door, taking it as an order from his Dauntless Leader. I turn and glare at Eric before following Izayah. I pull the door shut behind me as I leave and Izayah pauses, turning around.

"Listen, we really can talk more tomorrow. Get some rest. And no drinking." I order, causing him to crack a wry grin. "You need a clear head to deal with talking to your girl about the baby-" The door is pulled open and I cut myself off. Seeing the look of pure rage on Eric's face, Izayah strides forward, squaring off with him. "No, wait-" I protest but Eric has already lashed out. Izayah's head snaps back as blood begins running from his nose. "Eric!" I yell, shoving him back. He barely moves but I don't care. My heart is pounding in my chest as I turn to Izayah.

"No. It's fine. Not broken." Izayah says as I move his hand away. I gently touch his nose and he hisses with pain, jerking his face away.

"What the fuck!?" I shout, backing up a step and glaring at the two of them. "We shouldn't be fighting among our selves!" I yell, fucking _tired _of Eric lashing out at the people I care about.

"I- I'm sorry, Paz. It's just the fucking stress." Izayah says and I nod silently, exchanging a knowing look with him. He nods and then turns, jogging away. I slump, running my fingers in my hair and pressing the heels of my palms in my eyes as I shove past Eric.

"You- you can't keep _doing _this, Eric." I tell him, my voice ragged. I turn to him, startled to see a little blood on his face. I sigh and get a rag, running water over it. "This isn't how our...relationship can go, Eric. I care about my people and with you lashing out every time you hear or see something that you don't like...this won't end well. Because when you put the people I care about in danger, all bets are off." I finish cleaning the blood and look him straight in the eyes, showing him how serious I am. He clenches his jaw and nods curtly, steel eyes flashing rebelliously.

I sigh, rising to my feet and moving back to the kitchen.

"You can't expect me to watch as you flirt around with all these different guys and do nothing." Eric says lowly and I sigh, shaking my head as I rinse the rag.

"I don't flirt with a bunch of guys. I am playful with Jett because he has been mine far longer than anyone else. And yes, we had a thing once but that is over. Izayah is a brother to me. You need to reign in your jealousy or this is going to be over so fast it will make your head spin." I call over my shoulder. I rinse the rag, scrubbing at the blood as the silence lingers. I shut off the water and prop my hands on the edge of the sink. "You should go." I say quietly and wait.

I don't hear anything but that means nothing, considering how light Eric can be on his feet.

I should feel better now that he is gone but I feel...disappointed. I let my head drop down and take a deep breath. Why shouldn't he leave? There is nothing between us-

I jump when I sense his body heat.

He doesn't do anything, just stands there.

Then he moves forward and slips an arm around my waist. I lean back, unable to help my craving for the warmth. My heart is oddly steady, my emotions...numb. Eric pulls my hair to the side and nips at my neck. I wait for him to do more. His arm is a steady warmth around my waist and I take strength from that.

"Come to my apartment with me." He rumbles and I know it is the closest thing to an apology I will get. I pause and turn, slipping out of his arms. I go into my room and shut the door behind me, leaning back. I feel indecisive.

What should I do?

I turn my head, pressing my ear to the door.

Nothing. Not a single sound.

I bite my lip and push off the door, hoping this is not the wrong choice...

...a few minutes later I exit my room and come out with a change of clothes in my hand. Eric's steel eyes linger on the clothes and he nods, knowing I made my choice.

The walk back to his apartment is silent and filled with unspoken words but neither of us have the energy or patience to say them. I enter his apartment, right on his heels as we go to his room. Eric flicks the light on and I silently strip down, pulling on one of his shirts and climbing into bed.

A few minutes later the lights go out and the bed dips down as he gets in.

The silence seems so loud in the dark.

This is the first time I have ever been in his bed without having sex or having the intention for sex. It...frightens me.

I can tell he isn't asleep and I know he can tell the same but neither of us try to speak. Neither of us reach out and suddenly, warmth prickles in my eyes. I shift, turning over and burying my face in the pillow. Warmth escapes my eyes and soaks into the pillow as I silently cry. I don't make a single noise but as I am slipping into sleep...

...Eric reaches out and runs a single warm hand down my spine in a soothing way.

When I wake in the morning, he is gone.

* * *

_**~-Battle-Scars-~**_

* * *

I go through my day, trying to be as normal as possible.

Sienna and I find out that our shipments are going to be here in a few days. Once those boxes get here, we will have to take them to one of the large, empty rooms and unpack then log down everything that we have. Then we have to delegate the distribution process to our trusted senior warriors.

My BBT rooms are almost done.

All I have to get done is get proper wrestling mats and then I can be open in two more weeks. I've been thinking that I will be keeping the BBT rooms closed next year during initiation time. I don't want anyone sneaking into the BBT rooms with an insane idea to 'prove' themselves and wind up getting themselves killed.

Currently, I am on the train with Eric and Max.

Yeaaah...fun.

Eric is talking wit Max and has yet to even glance my way. Honestly, I am wondering if I just imagined him reaching out last night. It certainly doesn't _seem _like something Eric would do. Like. Ever.

I pull my tablet out and send a message to Izayah, asking him if he can talk to the girl he knocked up. He is gonna have to face her sooner or later and I don't think it would be a good idea if I was there. A third party might be exactly what they _don't _need. Then again, they haven't exactly been doing oh so well on their own.

The wind whips my hair around and I glance up as I tuck my tablet away, just in time to see Eric turn away. I raise an eyebrow, a small, pleased smile quirking on my lips. He was sneaking a peek...

The train begins to slow down and I get up, my body swaying as I move with the train to keep my balance. I hang back respectfully, waiting until Max moves to the train door before I step up to his left. Eric is over on his right but I don't look at him, a knowing smile still playing on my lips. What girl wouldn't want confirmation that a guy is still interested?

Max launches himself off and I laugh, the wind ripping out the gleeful sound. Then I back up and race forward, diving out of the train and tucking into a smooth roll before popping to my feet and jogging a few steps. I look back in time to see Eric jump out of the train and jog over to us. I glance over at Max in time to see the contemplative look on his face as he looks between the two of us. I quirk a questioning eyebrow but Max just shoots a smirk and doesn't answer.

I roll my eyes but follow as he begins to job. Eric settles on his right and I jog on the left, glad I decided to wear shorts today of all days. I normally avoid shorts, preferring long pants and short shirts but just this once, I went the opposite way. Black shorts, a cropped dark purple cami and a long sleeved too-big black and dark purple plaid button up over it topped off with silver buckled combat boots and my multi-colored dark curls pulled into a high ponytail.

It looks pretty good so I may have to reconsider my 'no shorts except every once in a while' rule. We jog through the streets, the other factions moving out of our way as we head towards Erudite. Abnegation lowers their gaze, moving off to the side before moving back and handing the Factionless bags of bread and worn clothes. Candor stare boldly, some rolling their eyes and others smiling and nodding. I bristle when I see one checking Eric out but we pass by them too quickly for anything to happen.

We reach the Erudite compound and jog up to the bottom of the steps where a woman is waiting.

For a moment, I think it is Jeanine Matthews but I can see she has a short, dark bob and crystal blue eyes. It startles me as I stop because that...could have been me. Granted, I have darker blue eyes and my eyes are narrower and my eyebrows arch naturally but still...I used to straighten my hair and my father had told me after my Erudite initiation I would have to cut my hair short. She is slender but curvy and has a cold, distant smile.

Seriously creeping me out right now.

"Hello. My name is Peyton Reyner." Even the names are similar. Creepy with a capital 'C'. I have never been more thankful I didn't stay in Erudite. I shoot a short glance at Max and Eric but neither of them seem to recognize the similarities. I pull my gaze away from them as Max and Eric introduce themselves before turning to me. I shoot her a cold smirk, uneasy and caught off guard. So my automatic response is to be a bitch.

With a capital 'B.'

"Paz, Dauntless-Leader-in-Training." I snap out coldly, ignoring the exasperated look Max is shooting me and the annoyed look Eric is aiming my way. Neither of them know what is going on. I am on edge, flicking my gaze around my familiar home. I am torn between relaxing and tensing up even more.

"Oh, I remember you! It's good to see you again, Pazia." I freeze, narrowing my darker gaze upon her lighter one. Her smile falters but she pours more ice into it. We are in a stand-off. Then I break it by smirking and shrugging a lazy shoulder.

"It's_ Paz_ now. I would say the same but I really don't remember you." I tell her. Lie. I remember her. She was in the top of the class, right along myself and Jett. She had the biggest crush on him for the longest time but he never gave her the time of day. He always used to joke that if he wanted to date a girl with black hair and blue eyes, it would be me. Incidentally, he always managed to say it in her range of hearing.

Her eyes flash angrily for a moment but my lazy smirk never falters.

"How's Jethro?" She asks and I really do smirk that time. My dark blue eyes gleam darkly as I straighten and ruffle my ponytail, combing my too-long bangs back from my face. Eric raises a blonde eyebrow, a silent question in his blue eyes but I ignore it, focusing on my old need to better this other girl.

"Jett's doing excellent. He has a girlfriend he has been going steady with for a while now." I taunt, predatory gaze locked on hers. Her smile falters and she turns back to Max, ignoring me. I disregard Eric's questioning steel eyes, crossing my arms and look around as the smug smirk slips off my face. I retreat behind a closed off mask, uneasiness thrumming through my entire body.

This is the first time I have been back since...since my Choosing Day.

I can see so many familiar face but it is like there is a wall between them and myself. I am torn between relief and childish hurt but I resort to just ignoring it. This is no longer my Faction- My eyes lock on the library and I follow it with my gaze. I had forgotten the lure books could hold. I wistfully think about the hours Jett and I would spend in the library, reading and searching and researching and exchanging books...it hurts.

Eric has a tall bookcase in his rooms but I never take any, not wanting to step over that invisible line. I long for my own books. I used to have four different bookcases in my room and yet more books piled around. It was cozy and cluttered and clean all at once and I loved it. I feel a pulse of longing to be back in my room but shove it to the side.

It is harder than I thought it would be to distance myself from Erudite.

Distance myself from my _father_?

_Easiest_ thing I have done in my life.

Distance myself from _Erudite_? From my _home_? From _books_?

Way, way, _way_ harder than I thought.

I tuck my head down, flicking my gaze around but trying to hide it under my long, dark lashes. People are walking everywhere through the main hall. It is more rounded with a doors all around. Nothing is hidden though. The floor to ceiling walls are clear with curtains that are pulled back. Computers are in one room and I used to think it was the second biggest room. The first being the library.

"If you will wait here, I can let Ms. Matthews know you are here." Peyton says and then turns, walking down a hallway and vanishing. I remember that hallway. To the left is a bathroom and to the right is another study room. Bathrooms and study rooms go hand in hand, especially since we try to hold back the urge to go to the bathroom as long as possible when something interesting has caught our attention.

Wait.

We. Our.

Shit.

I wince a little at my mental slip ups and pull my tablet out with a pair of headphones. I plug them in and press play to a loud song. Instantly the loud, angry lyrics blast and I bob my along as I check my messages.

_~Conner let me borrow his tablet for 'instructional purposes. Wanna talk? I know it is going to be hard for you going back home- shit. Keep slipping up. I'm sure you are too. I'm here if you need to talk.-Jett~_

My eyes widen and I laugh a little, thinking of Jett wheedling the tablet from Conner. I grin, pulling up an Instant Message box and sending him a message.

_~Course I want to talk! Save me...remember Peyton?...she is the person that is walking us around...its a good thing I brought my gun:)- Paz~_

I hit send and snicker to myself, ignoring the looks Max and Eric are shooting me.

"You okay, Paz? I know it can be hard for you, being back at your old Faction." Eric said. Just kidding. It was Max. I raise my head, my cocky smile faltering for a moment before I fix it. I nod, shrugging a lazy shoulder, rolling my dark blue eyes.

"I'm perfectly fine. My home is Dauntless now." I answer.

"Excellent answer, Pazia." The second Jeanine Matthews's voice rings out, I scramble to my feet. The automatic respectful action makes me wince but I hide it away, studiously ignoring Eric's dark gaze and Max's amused look as I refuse to sit back down. To take it back would only incite more embarrassment.

"Thank you." I answer curtly, now quite managing to hide my awe at meeting her. Ever since Jeanine managed to become the youngest ever Erudite leader at 22, I have pretty much hero-worshipped her. Every little glimpse I caught of her only furthered my awe and I can remember _hours_ of babbling about how one day I would be able to be as great as her while Jett sat by, smiling with me.

"I remember you." Peyton said the same thing but unlike then, I don't perk up the slightest bit as my amazement glimmers through the hard facade I am failing at holding up. "You were at the top of all your classes." I can't help the prideful way I hold up my chin or the gleeful smile when I catch Peyton rolling her eyes.

"Thank you-" I falter, not sure what to call her. Once, I would have said ma'am but now as a full member of Dauntless and a Leader-in-training, that seems wrong. Like I am not or ever could be her equal. Sensing my turmoil, she smiles coolly, her lighter blue eyes sharp and intelligent.

"Call me Jeanine." She says and I nod, struggling holding back the excitement coursing through me. Years of hero-worship is hard to get rid of in one day. "Now, shall we get to business?" She asks, taking a seat. Max nods, pulling out his tablet as mine dings. All attention shifts to me and I pick it up, seeing another message from Jett.

"Information from Izayah about the BBT rooms. May I be dismissed?" I ask, inwardly cursing the overly formal wording. Raising an eyebrow (well used to my casual respect), Max nods. Without another word, I leave the room, my pace brisk and unfaltering as I head to the bathroom. Luckily, there is no one in there and I lock it behind me. I pull up the camera and begin a video conversation, relaxing a little when I see Jett's dark eyes.

"Hey." He smiles warmly and I can tell he is in his apartment.

"Hey, I saw her! I saw Jeanine Matthews!" I exclaim, no longer able to keep my excitement in. He smiles indulgently, well used to this topic of conversation. "And she remembered me!" I tell him urgently, unable to convey the sheer importance of that one statement to him.

"I get it, I should have been there with you." Jett says regretfully. "But my shirt wasn't over until after your train left. Plus, I doubt your boyfriend is my biggest fan right now." Jett says ruefully and I roll my eyes, waving away that issue with a careless hand.

"So? I bet the train is back at Dauntless. You might be able to catch it if you hurry." I urge but Jett shakes his head. "Why not?" I ask, genuinely curious. Normally, this is something Jett would do, no problem.

"I don't want to jeopardize being able to go on the Amity visit with you next week." Jett says and I groan, letting my head fall back.

"I forgot about that." I grumble, rolling my eyes irritably.

"You should be out there." Jett says, smiling as I begin to pout. "You _do _want to impress Jeanine, don't you?" He asks, smiling as I narrow my eyes at him.

"Low blow, jackass." I grumble, without any real heat and he chuckles.

"Tell me about it later." With a final, cheeky grin, he logs off. I sigh and log off, shutting off the screen and slipping it in my pocket. I walk over to the mirror, making sure I look well put together before walking back to the door and unlocking it. The second I do, the door is pushed open by...Eric.

**xXXXx**

"How's Izayah?" He asks conversationally, his steel eyes sharp as he shuts the door behind himself and takes a step forward. I feel a tinge of shock and narrow my eyes challengingly.

"Perfectly fine, he fixed the problem." I lie but unlike other times I get the feeling he sees right through it. I fold my arms defiantly and Eric smirks, his blue eyes gleaming as he advances another step and I take an automatic step back. There is a cocky air about him and he takes another step forward. I refuse to step back and he continues until he is towering over me and I am forced to look up at him.

"I'm sure _Izayah_ did." Eric rumbles, slowly circling me. I stiffen but refuse to play along by turning with him. Eric stops right behind me and I shiver as he runs his warm fingers down my neck. A low heat begins to stir through me but I refuse to give into it right now.

"Was there something you _wanted_?" I snap angrily, whirling around. Eric smirks arrogantly, leaning forward but then we both hear the knock on the door. It is customary to always knock before entering a room at Erudite and lucky that person did because it gave me enough time to scramble into a stall. I turn to lock it but Eric is already sliding in beside me, locking it behind himself.

He flashes me a wicked grin and I am momentarily speechless at how fucking gorgeous he looks. I can hear the door open and close, the click of heels on tiled floors making me wince and turn away. Eric has always been silent so it doesn't surprise me that I didn't hear him move to get closer. Suddenly, he is crowding me and lifting me up onto the shut toilet seat. From this height, I have to look down at him a little bit.

Running water covers his low moan of approval and I feel a flush spreading across my face. Eric smirks, grasping my butt and pulling me right against him. His hardened length presses right against my clit from this angle and I have to smother a gasp, letting my head drop back as my legs buckle under me. He effortlessly holds my weight, rolling out hips together and my eyes roll shut under the sparks of pleasure.

I muffle my gasp by biting down on my knuckle and Eric's eyes gleam with wicked delight. I try my best to shoot him a glare but my eyes only hold pleasured heat and not anger. He leans forward, nipping at my neck but I pull back. I really don't want any marks on my neck when we go back into the office room. He growls lowly but accepts and rolls our hips together in revenge. My eyes fly wide and my hand shoots out, grasping his thick shoulder tightly.

Eric pulls back the slightest bit, unzipping his pants and then doing the same to mine. He pushes them slowly down my legs, leaving little burning trails behind. Once they are at my feet, he looks insistently at me and I roll my eyes, stepping out of them. He drops them as the water shuts off and we both freeze, trying to hear if the woman heard it. She begins humming, then the click of the hand drying turning on and then the accompanying loud noise. Suddenly urgent, I push Eric's pants down, glad I didn't wear any underwear and that he didn't either. I straighten as the woman's heels click on the ground again. Eric smirks wickedly, bringing one finger up to his mouth in a shushing motion then burying himself to the hilt in me.

I start to cry out but he seals out mouths together as my knees give out. His hands are strong on my butt as he plunders my mouth, pulling out and then thrusting back in. I bring my hands up, sinking my nails into the back of his neck as I moan and mewl into his hot mouth. A growl rumbles in his chest and I grin briefly before gasping as he saws back into me. His girth feels so _good _as he slams into me again.

I wrap my legs around him as he turns, sitting down on the toilet and bracing his legs. His hands slide down my butt, grasping my thighs strongly as he lifts me and slowly lets me sink down. I let my head fall back, my eyes fluttering shut as the pleasure races through me. I let him take control, content to let the pleasure take over.

This feels so naughty that it heightens everything. My heart is pounding in my chest as the coil begins to tighten in my stomach and I lean forward, sealing our lips together. Eric kisses me back, rough and demanding and I suddenly feel this is all about something else. He is trying to prove something but the question is...what is he trying to prove?

He becomes rougher, slamming into me harder and I moan deeply into his mouth, the waves crashing down onto me as the pleasure grows higher. Eric growls, nipping down on my lip as he slides a hand between us. He feels so impossibly hard inside me and I know he is close...He tenses up, stroking my clit quickly. I bite down on his lip, trying to hold back the cry as the coil rapidly tightens.

"Come on, Pazia." Eric growls in my ear and I snap, clamping down on him as I orgasm, gasping and trembling as I milk him for every last drop. With low groan, Eric slams into me one last time, his hands tight on my hip as he spills in me, his muscles relaxing. I sit back, panting for breathe as the dryer shuts off and the door opens and then closes.

* * *

Thank you so much to my new followers and favoriters!

iamUNSINKABLE - Yeah, his timing is awful! Yep, the group is fairly normal but not all is forgiven. There is still going to be some arguments and the like but it will only bring them all closer. And you really think I am going to tell you who Raven slept with? Come on! Just FYI, there are small hints hidden through the previous chapters and one pretty large hint that I gave. Try spending the next week figuring it out! And no problem! I really should have given you the preview sooner, so sorry about the wait!

Guest - How did you know? _ "feels like a bout of hot and heavy frustrated session will be in order...soon!" _Mind reader!

**Review equals a Preview of the next chapter!**


	18. Chapter 18

**So...don't kill me, please! *hides behind...something and grins nervously* I swear I had a good reason for the loooooooooooong hiatus but I can't seem to find it at the moment...so...yeah. This chapter was waaaaaaaaaay shorter than I normally write (this one is about 3,100 words and I normally do 8+ thousand words) but I just wanted to get this chapter out there for my readers. To all 101 followers, 73 favorites and 99 reviews (I did a double take when I saw that so thanks!) thank you so much for sticking around through all of this. I have read all of my reviews and my responses to them are at the bottom but I just wanted to say thank you for all of the support and kind words! I really appreciate it and those reviews are pretty much the reason why I finally started writing for this story again. **

**Just keep in mind that I currently have 9 other stories and adding this one that means I have ten stories currently in-progress so...yeah...not to say that I don't adore this story, I just wanted to give you guys a heads up on that. With that said, please enjoy this story.**

**Chapter Eighteen**

* * *

_**Previously on Battle Scars:**_

_**Stop blushing at the ending for the previous chapter, you know who you are...**_

_"Come on, Pazia." Eric growls in my ear and I snap, clamping down on him as I orgasm, gasping and trembling as I milk him for every last drop. With low groan, Eric slams into me one last time, his hands tight on my hip as he spills in me, his muscles relaxing. I sit back, panting for breath as the dryer shuts off and the door opens and then closes._

* * *

I feel so flushed, my heart racing in my chest, stunned at myself and what we just did.

Something like the sex actually feels like it _belongs _in Dauntless. Because there it is all about the risks we take in our quest to live fast, die young and leave a good-looking corpse behind. We live hard and rough because we don't want there to be any regrets when we die. We are the front lines of defense everywhere and so it is inevitable that our death won't come from sitting in a rocking chair but from the violent and heart-wrenching spray of bullets.

Here in Erudite, the naughtiness factor broke the charts, especially with the added chance of being caught.

Eric doesn't care though. He has this smug, satisfied, cat that got the mouse, the canary _and _the cream look on his face. I would slap it off if I wasn't 100% sure it would lead to yet another bout of hot and heavy angry sex. Not a bad thing considering how much fun we would get out of it but we both have been missing long enough from the room.

"Why did you come after me?" I ask, looking at Eric after my heart has slowed down, my cheeks have cooled and my body stopped trembling. Eric raises a blonde eyebrow, a smirk crossing his all-too-kissable lips as he lifts me off him. A fading jolt of pleasure rushes through me as he slips out and I tense, my eyes fluttering half shut for a moment. "That wasn't what I meant." I tell him, exasperation clear in my voice and he rolls his eyes, standing to his full height.

"You were gone long enough. Max just wanted to make sure you hadn't fallen back to your Erudite ways." Eric answers, pulling his pants up but not zipping them. Like the time in the tunnel so long ago, his penis is peeking out the top of his pants, my eyes drawn there and Eric shifts. The sleek, devastating muscles on his abdomen ripple and I look away, cursing the fact that we are on an official session in _Erudite_ of all places. Then again, it could have been Abnegation.

Then what he says registers with me as I reach down and pull on my pants.

"You mean, _you _wanted to make sure I hadn't fallen into my Erudite ways. Right?" I ask, twisting to look up at him. Eric narrows steel eyes, clenching his jaw furiously but not answering. He zips up his pants, his eyes narrowed as he stays silent.

"We need to get back." He answers stiffly, moving past me and unlocking the door. I smirk, pulling my pants up. It doesn't even occur to me to feel uneasy at the continued proof of this turning into something more. Right now, I am trying to keep my ridiculously pleased smirk from rising on my face. From the irritated look Eric shoots me, it isn't working...so I stop trying.

A muffled gasp makes us both stop.

There at the door is a brunette Erudite woman. Her startled brown eyes are wide and I glance at Eric. He folds his arms, muscles bulging and that tight, bulletproof vest isn't helping things...I turn and narrow my eyes at the woman, smiling cockily as I saunter past him and out of the bathroom, zipping and buckling my shorts. Eric chuckles lowly under his breath as crimson spreads over her face and he leaves after me.

"That's a little cruel, don't you think?" Eric asks, moving up so he is walking beside me as we turn the corner. I can see the office room ahead. "The woman probably pieced together what happened." Eric continues, obviously enjoying making people nervous and uncomfortable. I turn and smirk at him as we reach the door.

"That was the point." I smirk at Eric before turning and strolling into the room, sliding into a seat and nodding respectfully at Max. Eric enters the room, a vaguely annoyed look on his face at being temporarily one-upped before he returns to his stony-faced look. He also nods at Max before rounding the table and sitting across from me. I turned away from Eric, determined to ignore him for the moment.

"I trust you found your way to the bathroom with no problem?" Jeanine asked politely and I nodded, lounging back in my chair. She may be my hero- may have _been_ my hero but I am Dauntless now and I am likely to be the one fledgling Dauntless members look up. I tilt my chin arrogantly, blue eyes holding fire and ice at the same time.

"Absolutely." I smirked, tossing a knowing look at Eric. He rolled his eyes and turned away, ignoring me. I grinned and faced forward, meeting Max's eyes. He shook his head at the two of us, amusement gleaming in his dark eyes but he didn't address it.

"Now, I want to talk about the latest shipment we will be getting." Max said and Jeanine nodded, gesturing at Peyton to hand her a thick stack of papers. I sat back, content to just watch for this time and stretched, feeling the sudden subtle pressure of Eric's eyes sweeping down my body. I was careful not to look directly at him while I rubbed my neck, letting my shoulder drop down until the black and purple plaid shirt slipped off of my shoulder, leaving it bare. The force of his gaze intensified and I had to hide a smirk, dropping my hands and leaning forward, propping my chin up on my hand, adopting a lazy interest in what Max and Jeanine are talking about.

Right now, they are debating the potential benefits of adding cameras on the boundary line. I pull out my tablet and pulled open my notes, watching their interaction avidly and making notes, saving them when needed and pulling up my game, the sound just loud enough that they could hear and register what it was. Jeanine's jaw tightened and her blue eyes went cold, sending a rush of achievement through me, masking the smallest hint of apprehension.

Max shot me a stern look but didn't pause, focusing on his business over what he seemed to think I was doing wrong. Eric, on the other hand, didn't even bother to look at me. He focused on Jeanine and the conversation, asking cold but necessary questions.

To an outside observer, I was completely ignoring the on-going conversation, until they brought up something I couldn't ignore: possibly altering the simulation test for next year so they could catch more Divergents.

I perked up at that, a little bit of confusion in me at the mention of the near-mythical people that are supposedly hiding in our Factions.

"Have your leaders come up with any ideas?" Jeanine asked and Max shook his head, regret clear in his dark eyes. I cocked my head to the side, pausing in scrolling down the multiple photos I have of Izayah and I, different combinations of me and the the group and then ones of Jett. I smiled down at the photo. We both have our heads thrown back in laughter, me leaning into Jett's chest and his arms wrapped around my waist, lifting me up off of my feet. I save the photo as my wallpaper and then exit my photos, clicking into my calendar.

Aside from my Amity meeting, I have a pretty clear schedule.

I sit back in my chair and continue to type notes, content to let the hours pass by.

**_Battle Scars_**

"Since when is that how you and Eric act?" My little copper-haired pixie asked me with amusement, catching Eric and I in the act of shoving each other playfully in a mock rush to get to the chocolate cake in the food line.

"Since the ass decided to try and take my cake." I said just loudly enough to make sure Eric would hear it. He turned and flipped me off, a small smirk pulling at his full mouth, blue eyes glinting devilishly at me. I inwardly swoon but outwardly roll my eyes and scoff loudly, tossing my dark locks and turning back to Ellie.

"Are you _sure _the two of you aren't becoming more than just fuck buddies?" Ellie asked casually and for a moment, I was diverted by a thought. I can remember when Ellie was so shy and quiet, stuck in her Amity ways and now she is so loud and badass and _annoying._

"Shut up, Els." I groused, scooping up my tray and turning away from the food line. "Where are we sitting?" I asked, already picking at my fries. The salty goodness hit my tongue and I hummed happily in my throat, the shiny grease coating the tips of my fingers. Now _that _is good food.

"You have to sit with the Leaders." Ellie said, shoving me with a hand planted between my shoulder blades.

"What?" I turned to her, widening my eyes pathetically and she grinned, shaking her head at me.

"You have work to do, so go do it." Ellie said firmly and I snapped my jaw shut, fluttering my dark blue eyes to the ground, pouting at her. Ellie grinned and wiggled her fingers at me before turning to join our friends. I sighed loudly, just loud enough for her to hear and start laughing before I headed over to the leaders table. Conner smiled at me before turning back to Sienna, who grinned and patted the seat beside her. I slid in beside her with Eric at my other side and Angel across from me with Max.

"Let me guess, you got banned from the table over there." Angel said snarkily and I smiled sweetly at her, cocking my head to the side, dark blue eyes glinting with amusement and hostility.

"Not at all. You on the other hand...well. I wouldn't chance sitting down with _my _friends if I were you. They are under strict orders to treat you in the _friendliest _way possible." I purred, smiling boldly at her, so comfortable with threatening her that it caught her off guard for a moment.

"Is that a threat?" She snapped and I widened my eyes innocently. Framed by thick, long black lashes, my dark blue eyes were so sweet and innocent looking that it should have been illegal.

...it would have been more fun if it were but then again, I can't have everything in life, now can I?

"Oh, of course not! It was a promise of a good time...for them." My voice was sugary venom and Angel narrowed her eyes at me. Max turned away from his tablet to shoot us stern looks.

"Shut up." He said bluntly and I grinned before laughing a little at how blunt he was.

"Sir, yes, sir!" I said brightly, saluting him.

"You are such a pain in the ass-" Max began with exasperation.

"Oy! Roman! Put your shirt back on!" I heard someone shout and instantly my attention was diverted. I stood and scanned the room for him, grinning when I saw him at my friend's table with his shirt off, a shirt with food stuck to it in his other hand. I brought my hands up and wolf whistled, throwing my head back and laughing when he winked cheekily, flexing his muscles. Despite the fact we chose not to be more than fuck buddies, I still am attracted to him so I could appreciate the view. "Show some more, baby!" I shouted playfully.

"Quit that!" Eric growled, pulling me down and glaring darkly at me. "You are being annoying." Eric snapped and I shot him an incredulous look from my spot beside him.

"And that is different from how I normally am...how?" I asked. He glared and I knew I had won that argument so I wiggled around, trying to catch another glimpse of Roman's muscled pecs, dark eyes gleaming mischeviously. After a few moments, Eric snarled under his breath and stood, stripping his vest off and then his black short sleeved shirt, balling it up and tossing it at Roman.

"Put that on and sit the fuck down!" Eric barked commandingly but I was busy admiring the half-healed scratches down his back and the hickeys on the base of his neck and his chest that it didn't really register with me what he said. Silence slowly spread while Roman slid the shirt on. My attention firmly on Eric's chest, I grinned with pride, out of the corner of my eye seeing Sienna slowly reach her fist out. Without looking at her, I bump it with my fist, a small, proud laugh slipping out.

"Shit man, she must be a hellcat in the bed!" Conner exclaimed, instantly earning a dark look from Eric in turn as he sat back down, shrugging his vest on but leaving it hanging open. His tanned abs tensed a bit and I wanted to jump him right then and there. Instead, I decided that winding my way onto Eric's lap was a better choice. I nuzzled his jaw and grinned playfully, wrapping my arms around his neck and pressing my body fully against his, appreciating the sensation of his rock hard body flexing against my own.

"Damn straight!" I teased and Eric rolled his gunmetal blue eyes. Inwardly shrugging, I slid off of his lap as the noise level slowly rose again, missing the way Eric's hands twitched to keep me on his lap and the way his blue eyes watched me possessively. Sienna shot me a contemplative look before turning to exchange a different, guarded look with Angel, Max and Conner. "What?" I asked, a hint of defensiveness in my voice.

She leaned in closer and hesitated before speaking.

"Don't break his heart." She said lowly before getting up and leaving. I stared after her, stunned.

"Who said anything about _hearts _being involved?" I muttered, shaking my head and finishing my food.

**_~Battle-Scars~_**

"Get up, we have to get going. You have battle training starting this week and you can't be late." Eric said a few mornings later and I groaned and rolled over in bed, shoving my head under the blanket.

"G'way. I'm not going." I muttered drowsily, closing my eyes and curling up. There was a pause and then Eric snarled under his breath and yanked the blankets off of me. I raised my head to yell at him but before I could, Eric scooped me up, tossed me over his shoulder and strode from the bedroom, ignoring my angry swearing.

"You are going to the class-" Eric snapped, roughly putting me down in the shower and glaring down at me with annoyed gunmetal eyes. He reached out for the shower knob.

"Don't you dare." I warned, scrambling to my feet and holding out a hand.

"-because I'm teaching this week." Eric finished and then turn the freezing cold water on.

"Ahhh!" I shrieked, scrabbling for something, anything to throw at him. "You arrogant ass!" I shouted, throwing a bottle of shampoo at his head and shrieking angrily when he shut the door, letting the bottle bounce off of it.

"I suggest you hurry up and shower if you want to eat." Eric called and I muttered furiously under my breath, switching the water over to something a bit warmer.

Calming down a bit when the warm water washed over me, I hurried with my routine, my grumbling stomach prompting me along. As reluctant as I would be to admit it, Eric was right. If I don't get something to eat before I begin training, I will be irritable- which for me means ready to rip someone's head off and gut them with a vicious snarl...so...yeah.

I shut the water off and climbed out, wringing my long hair out with a towel, grimacing at the weight before shrugging it off and picking up a dry towel, looking at it and grinning wickedly, turning and sauntering out of the bathroom. Small, crystal clear drops of water clung to my completely naked body, a few snaking down sinuously, something that caught Eric's attention instantly. His eyes darkened and he slowly turned, his shirt hanging from his hands, forgotten in the act of being put on. Following me with his eyes, Eric watched as I sauntered past him, slowly and deliberately bending over to pick up one of his discarded v-neck t-shirts.

A guttural groan escaped him and Eric dropped his current shirt, crossing the room in three large strides, reaching out to pull me against him.

With a quick, slinky twist, I twirled out of his reach, smirking at his clenched jaw and rippling muscles. I headed to the closet and turned, cocking my head to the side and deliberately biting into my lower lip- just seconds before snapping the door shut. He groaned again and I laughed, peeking through the thin slats to see him drop his head onto the door, breathing hard, his fists balled behind his neck as he wrestled with his self control.

I backed up and pulled the shirt on, ducking and scooping up a pair of bleached white and crimson red shorts, pulling them on over my legs and buttoning them shut. Sinking my feet into a pair of black and neon, glow in the dark red converse, I quickly tied them and straightened, hearing Eric move away while muttering curses under his breath. A thrill went through me at the delicate game I was instigating, a gleam lighting in my dark blue eyes.

Playing with Eric is just so _fun_ that it can be hard to stop.

A thought crossed my mind though...what happens when I finally meet a guy that I wanted to settle down with? Something tells me that Eric won't let me go just like that. My smile fades a little and I glance out the slats again, seeing Eric pace the room, his light blue eyes snapping fire and ice. Then another thought crept in and I banished it instantly, leaving it lingering in the air behind me.

...what if I didn't _want _Eric to let me go?

...that's against the rules though and I _won't _be the one to fall first.

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A/N: Thank you so much to all of my followers, favoriters and reviewers!

JadayaRenee - Thank You for your review!

Guest - You have good insight into Eric's character! I do think he would be the type to realize how hard he's fallen in the heat of the moment! Thank you for your review.

calhounariel97 - thanks for your review!

Chloe West17031999 - I know, it can be funny and annoying that neither of them are wanting to admit- at the very least- they are fascinated with each other!

love this story! like the fact that Eric acknowledges nothing that happens

Veera98 - I adored reading your reviews! You caught of my hints but- so sorry- I can't tell you which ones! And I aagree...that pillow fight was adorable. Thank you for your reviews!


	19. Chapter 19

**So, it came to my attention that I haven't updated this story in a while. And before that update, even longer. I have been stuck with my writing for a long time now and I just couldn't figure out why. Last night, I watched Allegiant and I wanted to write but from what I already had written, I just couldn't find any inspiration. Then, I was listening to this total downer song and I was suddenly reminded of how Paz used to be. She used to be scared and shy and quiet and dark and messed up and had all of these anxiety issues and while I did address them through the whole first part, after she became a fully fledged member of Dauntless, I just sort of...dropped those issues. Since then, this story has been light, funny, heart-warming and...completely and utterly bland. That isn't to say I don't love it, I think I just forgot for the moment about who Paz is and her past and why she is the way she is. Don't worry, this isn't a good-bye chapter. This is a chapter that goes back into Paz and her past a bit.**

**For the first time since chapter 13 (at least, I'm pretty sure), there are no lemons in this chapter. I think I was using the lemons to distract from the actual story and while I do like writing them and will still write them, I am going to be cutting back on them just a bit. Besides, isn't it sometimes more fun to use your imagination?**

**Also, how many of you really want a chapter or part of a chapter from Eric's Pov? Or someone else's? Just let me know who's POV you want and I can either write it in this story or as a one-shot.**

**Chapter Nineteen**

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"So..." I glance over at Raven out of the corner of my eye, smiling slightly at the nervous look in her eyes.

"Yeah?" I ask and she blushes, fidgeting uncertainly. Surprised at the display of vulnerability from one of my strongest friends, I pause in my categorizing, turning to her and focusing all of my attention on her.

"Can you not do that?" She complained and I rocked back on my heels, confused. "That look, the one that is mostly Erudite intelligence and partially Dauntless strength that says you are looking deep into my soul, examining the contents and judging me?" Raven said, slightly bitterly. I blinked, stunned at the description.

"Rave, you know I would _never_ judge you for anything, right?" I asked, stunned and a little hurt. She huffed and nodded, looking slightly apologetic.

"Yeah, it's just...I had something I needed to ask you and I fell a little off but I don't know what to do about it and I have no one else to talk to and soon it is going to be Visitation Day again and my parents are coming and I don't know if I can face them today and-"

"Whoa! Pause and take a breath, Ravie!" I exclaimed, blue eyes wide at the sudden rush of words pouring out of her. Raven snapped her mouth shut, breathing a little hard from not pausing to take in life-giving oxygen during her small rant.

"Sorry. I'll go now." Raven apologized and turned to leave.

"No, wait!" I called, hurrying after her. "Raven, Raven." I caught her arm and gently swung her around, firmly grasping her chin and raising her head so she was forced to look into my eyes. To my surprise, her eyes were wet with tears, fear and uncertainty showing in her eyes. What in the fuck? "Ravie, take a deep breath, girl." I coached gently, softening my grip on her chin.

Raven nodded and took a few slow, deep breaths and I sighed, tugging her forward into a stiff hug. It was stiff because of the both of us. It was stiff on her part because of surprise. I rarely physically reach out to anyone in my group and when I do, it is usually to Ellie or Jett. The hug is stiff on my part because I- memories flash through my mind and I mentally flinch away from them. I may be better about my past since I became a full member of Dauntless but it still haunts me.

On nights that I don't sleep in Eric's apartment (think rationally for a moment, we can't have sex every single night), I barely sleep at all. When I sleep with Eric, we usually have...ahem, strenuous activities that normally allow me to drift right into sleep. On nights that I am in my apartment, I have nothing to distract me.

The review classes we have been taking were both alike and unalike to the ones we took during Stage Two. They were alike because they had us exercise and go over eating right and that stuff but at the same time, I wasn't getting exhausted because I already know this stuff. I don't have to fight to earn the top spot anymore.

Tabby and Ellie are in constant competition to be in the second slot but me? I need something, anything to distract me from the dark thoughts floating in my mind. With all of the rush and diving right into LIT business, I had hardly any time to think about my father or anything else unpleasant. Now, however, everything has- not slowed down- but settled into a routine that does nothing but bore me to death.

When I first considered the cons of taking on Dauntless leader in training, I hadn't even paused to take into account just how easy it is for me to get bored with something.

Jett knows better than anyone how I start to become more introverted when I am bored. I tend to withdraw, bury myself in work and leave hardly any time for anything else when I get bored. Because of my past, I can't just fall into a steady, normal routine. No, all that does is put me on edge and in the past, all that would mean is I would get a little more irritable. I couldn't do any serious damage then.

Now, however, I have been equipped with skills and a sense of confidence that could be the end of someone else on the wrong day.

"-and now I'm not sure what to do." Raven finished, startling me out of deep thoughts. She looked at me with wide, slightly pleading eyes, trusting me to know what to do despite the fact I am several months younger than her. And I wasn't even listening.

I am a terrible friend.

Do they not see that? How can they not see that?

"You need a day to rest." I answered calmly, despite the roiling feelings plaguing my insides. "Come with me." I said and gently wrapped an arm around her waist, leading her away.

Do all friends have this willful blindness to them? Or is it just something that I bring out in people? I don't even understand how I have all of these friends. In Erudite, all I ever had was Jett. Now I have all these friends and they all look to me for guidance and friendship and for the most part, I can bluff my way through but always, there is a lingering question in the shadows of my mind...what happens when they find out just how fucked up I am?

Back during Stage Two, when I snapped and lost total control and got into that fight with Eric, that was the first glimpse into just how screwed up I am for my friends. They were scared, horrified but...but they didn't turn away. They avoided looking me in the eye, hesitated to tease me, flinched a little when I got angry but they didn't leave and I don't know if they decided to choose the devil they know or if they...if they were scared to leave. I just don't know.

Most days, I don't let it bother me. I can ignore all of those deep, scared, terrified questions in the back of my mind but for some reason, I'm not able to focus today.

I don't have anything to really do today. My BBT rooms are all but finished, Sienna is busy, the other Leaders are busy, I have no mission, just some tasks that I was assigned to as a LIT that I have already done. I don't like having nothing to do, it bores me and when I get bored, I get dangerous.

"-az? Paz?" I blinked, torn out of my morose thoughts once again by a confused looking Raven. I realize, rather abruptly, I can't do this. I can't help her, I can't be around her, not today. Not while I am in this mood because soon enough, my patience will snap and I will be full of venom and harsh words and right now, Raven is far too fragile to be able to take the full brunt of my words.

Shit.

My mind racing, I quickly decide on one thing and take an abrupt turn through the dark tunnels.

"Paz? Where are we going?" Raven asked apprehensively, glancing down at my hand on her arm. I quickly loosened my grip, pouring a little more speed on until we were jogging through the tunnels. Raven curled one arm protectively around her still-flat belly and I inwardly cursed, forcing myself to slow down a little. Why can't I do anything right?

Crap.

Symptom #1 - attention drifts inward without warning

Symptom #2 - unaware of aggressiveness

Symptom #3 - self-disgusted thoughts

Symptom #4 - ...unexplained bouts of anger

Fuuuuckkkk.

I silently lead the way through the tunnels until I break out into the med unit, my pace quickening again as I barged into the treatment room.

"Doc!" I barked out, noticing the tense edge to my voice, which only made me tense up even more. Just to be on the safe side, I released Raven's arm, noticing somewhere in my mind how she winced and rubbed at the spot like it was sore. Guilt began to gnaw at my insides and I forced it away, focusing my eyes on Doc.

He was calmly wrapping a guy's arm, red staining through the fabric.

There is a part of me that is irreversibly damaged and fucked up by what I have gone through, i.e. being abused since such a young age. That part of me is thrilled at the sight of blood, it settles a wordless yearning for a fight that claws at my insides.

The side of me that struggles to hang on to normalcy forces me to avert my eyes and I smile sheepishly at Doc, aware of how rude my bark had been.

"Doc, I need your help with something." I said, trying to regulate my voice so it wouldn't come off so antagonistic but well aware that it was only made stiff.

"Oh? After three months of nothing, no acknowledgement, no visits, absolutely nothing after you made it through the final Stage and _now _you need something?" His voice was hard but I wasn't in the stable type of mood that would allow me to flash a playful grin and an apologetic taunt. No, this type of mood is the type of mood where I either beat someone or crush myself down so much that I lose any and all will to do anything at all.

"Yes. I only ask because this isn't for me. I need- I need-" I cut myself off, frustrated at my inability to form the proper words to get my point across. "I need you to take Raven to the children's section so she can get some advice from other woman expecting children." I said slowly, pronouncing each and every word clearly so they didn't get jumbled again.

Concern flashed through Doc's eyes and I did my best to ignore it, crushing down my automatic instinct to bristle and snarl. I had to hide a dark laugh at the way I think of myself. I sound like a rapid wolf.

"May I ask why?" Doc questioned mildly, finishing wrapping the guy's arm and sending him on his way. When the guy flashed me a flirty wink, I suddenly recognized him as the tall, well built blonde that I made out with in the Pit when I was trying to make Eric jealous.

Stunned, I turned back to Doc, my thoughts jumbled a little.

"I'm feeling a little nervous about becoming a mother." Raven stepped forward, shooting me an odd, searching look that I ignored.

"Why didn't you say so?" Doc grinned broadly and I was suddenly reminded that while he may be somewhat level-headed as the head of the med unit, he is still a member of Dauntless. "Come on." Doc chucked his coat to the side and headed to a side door.

"Seriously? That easy?" Raven grinned just as broadly and walked over to join Doc before pausing and looking back at me with question. "You coming?" Raven asked playfully, cocking an eyebrow at me.

I silently shook my head, hanging back and shoving my hands in my pockets to hide the slight trembling.

"Nah, you go ahead." I did my best to affect a disinterested air of approval but she wasn't buying it and neither was Doc.

"Why not?" Raven asked, the faintest note of sharpness lining her words. I could hear the hidden accusation of abandonment and really did flinch that time. Astonishment lit her eyes and she took a step forward that I mirrored with a quick step back.

Symptom #5 – absolute avoiding of any physical contact of any kind unless in violence

"Paz…" Doc said slowly. "Had any bad dreams lately? Anything that could seem light a memory?" Doc questioned, getting too close to the truth and setting my teeth on edge.

"I'm spiraling, down and further and I don't know what I'm doing and how to fight this and what to do about anything and-" I cut myself off, seeing the dumfounded and worried looks on their faces. "You know what? I'm perfectly fine." I shrugged, attempting for nonchalance and getting a jerky, forced motion instead.

"Paz, I don't think it's a good idea for you to be around other people right now." Doc said firmly and I shot a dark, grim smile-sneer his way, clenching my hands tight in my pockets to ward against the sudden burst of completely irrational anger burning in my chest.

"Then I guess it's a good thing I don't plan on being around anyone else right now, isn't it?" I cut out sharply, stiffening and bringing my shoulders back in my defensive mode. The shoulders going back, the hard, flinty look in my blue eyes, I could see the realization grow in Raven's eyes.

"You had a dream about your Dad, didn't you?" Raven asked and- _snap_.

Rage mixed with terror and streaked through with bloodlust and violence flooded through me, searing through my veins and racing to my heart, pumping more and more through my body until I swear I could see red.

"No." But my voice was hard and cold and carried an edge of terror that set my teeth on edge. Why the fuck does he still have to affect me this way?

Unable to handle the looks on their faces, I spin on my heel and jug swiftly out of the room, dark blue eyes ablaze with the need for a fight. I look for a fight but anyone I pass suddenly skips off to the side, avoiding me like they can sense just how dangerous I really am. A dead smile stretches across my mouth, a cruel parody of the bright, cheerful smile I normally sport.

I jog through the tunnels, trying to fight against the rapid beat of my heart, the quick, rushed beat sending adrenaline flooding through my body. Logically, I know I should stop moving, curl up somewhere, breathe deeply and evenly and wait for this mood to pass.

This time though, it struck too soon and I already feel like I am going stir-crazy. If I don't have something to occupy my mind, body and attention, I lose control and I don't want to lose control, not anymore, not anymore, not anymore…please. Help.

I barrel through a group of Dauntless members jogging past me and they shout at my back angrily.

I halt, turning around and narrowing my eyes at them, the thirsty glee for violence sharp in my dark blue eyes. The leader, a tall brunette pales and backs into a guy, alarm in her bright hazel eyes. The guy behind her catches her around the waist, looking deeply unsettled when he glances into my eyes before immediately averting them.

"Problem, people?" I drawl silkily, the deadly promise sweetening my words and making one of them flinch. Pleased, I slowly rake my eyes over the three of them, allowing a sneer of derision to curl on my mouth.

"Yeah. Maybe you should watch where you are going!" The guy snapped, moving his girl to the side and stepping forward. He was brave, I mused, cocking my head to the side, dark eyes flashing with deadly intent. Brave, but monumentally stupid to not see the mortal danger right in front of him.

"Maybe I don't need to." I snapped and he rolled his eyes, scoffing like what I just said was one of the stupidest things a person could say.

It only fueled my anger and I allowed myself to drift a couple of steps closer, one of my hands sliding down to my pocket. When my hand encountered only the smooth skin on my thigh, I narrowed my eyes, thinking spitefully this was why I hardly ever wear shorts.

"What's the matter? Forgot your weapons? Too busy screwing your way to the top of Dauntless?" The guy snapped and I cocked an eyebrow, a small smirk sliding onto my mouth. That's what people think? Clearly I need to do a better job of showing off my anger and just how good I can handle myself if that is the general opinion.

I was at the top of my class! I could beat each and every single one of my friends! I have fought with Eric several times, emerging as the victor almost every single time! Who the fuck is he to challenge me and my claim to the Dauntless leader in training position?

Bitter envy was in his eyes and I slid another step closer.

"What's the matter?" I cooed harshly, the silky tone holding them captive far better than a weapon could. "You wanted the position, didn't you?" I cocked my head to the side, lowering my lashes the slightest bit, allowing the shadows to darken them to almost black. "That's too bad you weren't _good_ _enough_ for the position." The cruel taunt struck its mark and I laughed, pleased to see him flinch.

The sound of my laugh was startling because it was so harsh and hateful.

"Poor, poor you…I bet you didn't even score very high in your class, did you?" The swiftly hidden shame answered me and I grinned widely, a wild-eyed predator staring at him from behind my eyes. "What did you score, fifteen?" Not quite it… "Seventeen?" I mused and from the suddenly bitter look in his eyes, I knew that was it. "My, my, that was worse than I thought it would be…" I laughed again, the sound shrill and mocking.

"What's your _problem_?" The girl snapped angrily, moving forward and clenching her fists. I shifted forward eagerly, prepared to get hit so I could hit back but the guy slid an arm in front of her, shaking his head with barely hidden panic in his eyes.

"No, Katie." He said quickly.

"Why not, she wants to fight, don't you, Katie?" I drawled and she flushed at the mocking note in my voice, narrowing her hazel eyes at me.

"Fuck you." She said bluntly and whirled around, jogging away with a visible air of anger around her. Turning to the other girl and the guy, I smiled laughingly, dark blue eyes completely cold.

"And then there were three…" I teased cruelly and he took a few quick steps back, herding the other girl behind him to her extreme annoyance.

"I'm not afraid of her!" The girl snapped loudly and I threw my head back, laughing. It was a laugh full of hysterical anger, edged with sheer terror and completed with the sound of insanity. Part of me shied away from that title but I am, aren't I?

I mean, how long can any one person withstand torture from such a young age _without _snapping?

"Paz!" I heard Eric shout behind me and I cut my laughter off abruptly, startling them into stepping back. I ignored the call and leveled them with a glare cold enough to shatter ice, a taunting smile curling on my mouth.

"You should be afraid of me." I said softly, the danger in my voice soft as velvet and deadly as poison.

"Paz!" Eric's voice came from closer but I still didn't turn to look, instead, fixing my gaze upon the two tense Dauntless members.

"Run along, little ones, I'm afraid I don't have time to play today, after all." I teased idly, the return to a normal tone scaring them even more than the other voice. They didn't move and my smile disappeared. "Run!" I snarled, lunging forward.

That broke the spell and they ran, heavy boots thudding on the tunnel floor, weapons rattling the slightest bit on them. I sauntered forward, steadily following their shadows, drawn out and distorted by the eerie red lights in the tunnels. Humming absently, I slid my hand in my boot, pulling out one of my daggers and twirling it through my fingers, the silver metal flashing blood red under the dim light.

"Paz, why the fuck aren't you answering me?" Eric snarled, his heavy boots thudding on the ground behind me. I completely ignored him, all of my attention on the two running away from me. They were getting further but the Chasm was close by and they might stop running there since the bridge gets so slick from the roaring water below.

I quickened my pace, an anticipatory grin twisting on my mouth.

I really shouldn't enjoy this hunt so much, I mused, jogging now. Ha, but the fear in their eyes…at least it isn't in mine.

My smile disappears at the reminder of why I feel this way and my face hardens. My eyes harden to blue chips of ice, a chilling smile marring my face. At this moment, I am in a race between who will get to where they need to first.

The people I am hunting, me…or Eric.

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taytayfanatical - Oh my gosh, thank you so much for all of your kind words! I was beaming when I read you thought this was one of the best Eric fics you've read! I'm so glad you like the OC's. At first, I was going to do this story in Tris's year, then I thought it would be way cooler to do it a year before her but now it's set two years before Tris so I can have a secret year to reveal slowly in the sequel. I love that you love Paz and thank you once again for all of the compliments and the review!

Darkangel1967 - Thank you so much!

mmelody6 - ;) Thanks for your review!

Derbygirl63 - I do want to apologize for that long hiatus, I never meant to let this story go for so long! And I partially agree with you on the feelings. Right now, Eric doesn't consciously acknowledge that he is developing feelings for Paz. He is just trying to pass it off as feeling possessive- which, from a different perspective- could also be taken as a sign of developing feelings- if Eric and Paz weren't so possessive over their 'toys' already. Still though, they both need to figure their shit out! Thank you so much for your review!

Veera98 - First, I was simultaneously amused and terrified by your review! I was amused because you certainly have a way with words and I was terrified because you seem to have put a lot of thought into what would happen if you did kill me for not updating! Second, playing with Eric would be fun for pretty much anyone and if it isn't...nuff said! As for Sienna and everyone protecting Eric's heart, I wanted to show that while he is a hardass, he has won the respect- and with some people- the protection they feel he has earned. Briefly referring to Derbygirl63's review, I want to show subtle and not-so-subtle ways that their developing feelings are manifesting without having either of them realize the truth of their feelings just yet. And I do that because Eric just doesn't strike me as the type to admit when he is falling for someone, not with that rigid grip on his self control! And with Paz, the two really are a pair!


	20. Chapter 20

**How many of you really want a chapter or part of a chapter from Eric's Pov? Or someone else's? Just let me know who's POV you want and I can either write it in this story or as a one-shot.**

**The chapters I will be sending out are about half the size of my original chapters but don't be afraid, I am working my way back up to those giant sized chapters that all of you deserve!**

**Chapter Twenty**

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"Paz." Eric's voice is rock-hard and icier than a glacier but I didn't let it phase me. I'm impervious to him, I can be cold as ice and heartless as a mountain. He doesn't bother me. I barely hide a smile. To think when I was in training, I used to be scared of him.

I forgot the first rule I found out from my father.

People are rarely what they seem.

I had thought Eric was hard and cold and deadly, worthy of my fascination but it seems he wasn't. I sigh and shake my head, dark blue eyes eagerly tracking the distorted shadows of the rightfully wary people running away. Maybe I should run away too?

But no. I'm stuck with me.

"Hellooo? Is anyone there?" I called teasingly and the footsteps both ahead and behind me faltered before starting up again.

I grinned broadly, the crazed edge of it pulled just a tad too wide distorting my face. I've always known I'm more than a little fucked up but it is only in times like this that I can see how far it truly extends. I cocked my head to the side, allowing my lashes to slip down, half covering my eyes in a lazy hunter sort of way.

"You can stop running now…" I teased loudly, quickening my step so I could get there faster. There is a bend in the roughly hewn tunnel ahead and the thrill stirs through my veins, pumping through my body faster and faster. I can almost feel the pain in my knuckles from the fight, the blood spilling down my hands.

Does that make me…wrong? Crazy? Whatever you want to call it, it doesn't matter. I am who I am and right now, I'm too lost to care about what I am doing. After all, I'm not sane and I'm okay with that, right?

"Paz!" Eric barked and I skipped forward, feeling the subtle brush of wind rushing past my neck from where he missed grabbing for me.

"What?" I called back, the playfully annoyed edge escaping me before I could rein it in.

"Get back here and stop terrorizing the Dauntless members." Eric growled and I narrowed my eyes darkly. At the thought of ending the hunt, there was such a wild maelstrom of anger in my chest that I cast the thought aside. Why should I give up my hunt?

If there is anything my father has taught me, it is when you want to hurt someone, you can. You just have to be stronger than the ones you go after.

Hunter or the hunted.

Strong or the weak.

…the wolf…or the sheep…

Barking out wild laughter, the laugh curled on my mouth, the edges quirked up and glinting in my eyes to give me a wild-eyed look of glee. I wasn't going to give up the hunt, no siree-

A thick arm snaked around my waist just as I rounded the corner, yanking me off my feet and back against a broad, muscled chest. In the corner of my mind, I spared a moment to appreciate the feeling before the sight of my prey- ahem, the three Dauntless members racing off into the tunnel and away from my sight ignited fierce anger in my chest.

How _dare_ he?!

With a low, fierce snarl, I shot my head forward before slamming it back, connecting with what felt like Eric's forehead. With a muffled shout, he tightened his grip painfully around my waist and I clawed fiercely at his arms, flinging the upper half of my body forward before twisting, propelling my elbow back and getting him in the neck.

With a gasping, choking sound, Eric dropped harshly to his knees but kept a firm grip on me. He was holding on so tight, I swear I could feel my rips creaking, like they were just about to break under pressure.

How _dare he_?!

I struggled and kicked angrily, my body writhing and twisting and fighting to get free but he stubbornly held on. I kicked off the ground, flipping my body over his head and ripping my arms free, kicking off his back and bounding backwards in a flip, landing lightly on my feet. I raised from the crouch, facing off against Eric, who rose and stared at me, a rippling mass of muscled golden skin hidden behind pitch black clothing.

"Snap out of it!" Eric barked and I narrowed my eyes at him, tossing my head back, taking a moment to sneer at the heavy weight of my hair on my shoulders before I focused on him. Cocking an eyebrow and smirking arrogantly at him, I took a deep breath before letting it out.

Some of the darkness receded but I could feel it lingering in me, a dark undertone to my lighter colors. I can never be free of the weight of what my father has done. I am damaged and I always will be but…that doesn't mean I have to be like him, right?

Conflicting desires twisted and writhed in my gut but I ignored them in a herculean effort, clenching my fists tightly at my sides, letting the sharp bite of the pain of my nails digging in to the tender skin snap me out of the deadly mood even more.

"Why can't I ever be normal?" I asked softly, the ironic purr lining them not passing by Eric. He took a step forward, the prowling gait catching my full attention almost instantly.

My pulse quickened and I leaned forward on the balls of my feet, eying him hungrily. Eric took another step forward and I reciprocated, my fingers itching to twist and rake at that light blonde hair, my teeth aching to scrape those block tattoos on his neck, the very ones that trail even further down, only stopping above the waistband of his pants.

I know from experience he won't mind if my mouth travels even further down past the waistband…

"Normal doesn't suit you, Paz." Eric rumbled, gunmetal blue eyes hungrily devouring my delicate form. Smiling charmingly, I half-skipped forward, trailing a hand over the rough stone wall, flipping my hair over so the inky black locks spilled over one shoulder, leaving one side of my neck bare.

"Neither does it suit you." I responded lowly, the eager note in my voice making anticipation flare in his eyes. I stretched my body up, purposefully flashing the smooth skin hidden under my shirt. His shoulders rippled, like he had to fight himself to keep from pouncing on me.

Feminine pride flashed through me, reflecting in my eyes, to the quick flash of annoyance in his eyes.

"Fuck, I'm gonna ream you." Eric promised, stepping closer until there was barely a foot separating us. I smiled coyly up at him, standing on my tip toes and swaying my body closer to his. Eric allowed his eyes to slip half-mast, quickly reaching out and tangling his hands in my hair, grabbing fistfuls and tugging just hard enough that I had to arch my back in a graceful bend to keep it from hurting too much.

"Do you promise?" I purred and his eyes flared with dark lust.

"No…" He slid his mouth over my pulse, opening it until I could feel the pant of his heated breath over my skin. "I don't promise…I threaten." Eric growled. The brush of his mouth against my skin as he spoke made heat spark madly underneath my skin until I felt like I was a barely contained wild fire, yearning to burn him up until we were both lost in each other, barely distinguishable as separate entities.

"Good, I don't need promises." I whispered back, watching him with my pupils blow wide with desire, the liquid black of them nearly eclipsing the dark blue of my irises. Eric lowered his face closer to mine and I parted my lips, preparing to have him ravage my mouth with his own.

He was closer and then…his mouth twisted with a dark sneer and he raised his head away, scoffing at me mockingly.

"Did you really think it was going to be that easy?" He purred, the rumbling, roiling notes of his deep voice striking the flames in my belly. I clenched my jaw but cocked my head to the side, sinking my teeth into my lower lip.

He fought with himself, I could see the internal battle but he eventually lost, his hungry gaze devouring the sight of my mouth until I could swear his iron-clad self control was going to snap. Only, his didn't.

_Mine_ did.

I reached out for him and Eric shook his head, straightening and walking past me, releasing my hair.

"Where are you going?" The baffled, lost sound of my voice shocked me, shaking me further out of my odd mood. Eric paused but didn't turn to face me, I could see I had reached him though, in the subtle way his back tensed up and his fists tightened at his sides before he relaxed and turned, shooting me a cold look.

"I'm getting something to eat." Then he turned and he walked away.

Mother fucker! How dare he interrupt my hunt, get me all riled up and then just leave me? I narrowed my eyes darkly at his back and followed him, my converse-clad feet nearly silent on the floor. I was done hunting the other members of my Faction, now I just wanted Eric.

Grumbling darkly under my breath, I followed closely behind him, my fingers twitching at my sides.

I watched the play of his muscles on his back as he walked, the smooth prowling gait making hunger pool in my belly and fire flare in my veins. I wanted him and in the distant, rational, _normal_ part of my brain, I was worried that he could affect me so much even when I am in this sort of mood.

I followed a few paces behind Eric, only catching up to his side when he reached the Pit and strode in.

It wouldn't do for others to think I was following their leader.

_-What's the matter? Forgot your weapons? Too busy screwing your way to the top of Dauntless?-_

Anger swelled in my chest, puffing up my shoulders and making me affect a swaggering, smooth saunter that ooze danger and charm. It was okay if Dauntless as a whole thought I was weak and only gained my position through sex and other such related 'favors.' In the long run, it didn't matter because one day, something would happen and I would show them all that I _deserve _to have this position.

I sped up the slightest bit, suddenly wanting nothing to do with Eric.

It was in part because of him that I was even under that kind of suspicion to begin with. Granted, I haven't done much to make anyone think otherwise but they don't know just everything I do around here.

My dark mood crept closer and I could feel it there, on the edges of my normal mood, preparing to sweep me away until I was lost in the darkness of my mind with no wish to ever see the light again. A humorless smile stretched my mouth.

What a dark turn my mind has taken.

I get in line for food, lost in thought and barely remembering to nod in thanks to Cookie before I scooped up my tray and turned away, heading robotically over to the Leaders table. They were all there, Sienna, Conner, Max and- I narrowed my eyes when I saw Angel sitting at the table.

Her and I still don't get along, despite my charm and her sparkling intelligence.

Tabby and Ellie insist it is because we are both so alike we automatically categorize each other as a threat and from there, that translates into hate.

Personally, I just think she's a heartless, dim-witted bitch but that's just me.

I spin on my heel, beginning to walk in the opposite direction.

"Paz! Over here!" Max shouted, poorly hidden amusement in his voice as I hunched over my tray with defeat before spinning back around and pasting a bright smile on my face.

"Max! I didn't know you were back." I lied, walking over and sliding into the spot right across from Angel. "Hey there, beautiful." I smirked at her in a deliberately taunting way and true to form, she bristled, sneering at me.

"Fuck off." She snapped and I gasped, slapping a hand to my chest and widening my eyes, the dark glint in them mirrored by the edgy grin curling on my mouth. It wasn't a look I normally sported, the edges and sharp corners causing confusion and suspicion to flash through her eyes. "What the fuck is wrong with you?" She spat and I dropped the look, leveling her with a mocking gaze that made her bristle automatically.

"Why does there have to be something wrong with me?" I asked, lowering my voice persuasively, a sharp, prickly edge hidden beneath my words.

"You're fucked up." Angel said incredulously and I shrugged, stabbing my cube steak viciously.

"Absolutely." I answered, completely in agreement with her words, for once.

"Pazzy!" Jett dropped into the seat beside me and I groan, burying my face in my hands as Sienna pauses with her conversation to start laughing with Conner at my nickname. Something deep inside of me that I didn't even know I was clenching onto relaxed at the presence of Jett and I shot him a warm look over my hands. Grinning cheekily at me, he tugged on a curl and pressed a sloppy kiss to my cheek, exaggerating the noise until I squirmed away, laughing and shoving at his face.

"Gross!" I exclaimed fondly, elbowing at his side.

Jett hissed with pain, his ribs still tender from the fight with Eric. Worried, I paused and stared at him, silently asking the question of how much it was hurting him with my eyes. He shrugged, flashing another grin but I wasn't fooled. Narrowing my eyes, I sunk my teeth into my lower lip in an effort to hold back the blistering anger that suddenly roared up from the calm.

Jett's eyes sharpen before widening with dread and realization. He, out of everyone I have ever know, can _always _tell when I have that dark and dangerous…feeling clawing at my insides, trying to take over.

"Why didn't you come find me?" Jett asked and I pursed my lips, widening my eyes innocently. It didn't fool him, especially since my eyes widened a tad more than was normal, the menacing glint lurking inside the dark blue color flashing at him as though I was waving neon signs of 'danger' in front of his face.

"I thought you would be busy with your _border patrol _duties." I said, spitting out the words of his job with venom and no longing.

Jett winced, knowing that I may not be showing how much I wanted the job at the moment but that the fact the world conspired against me to keep it away from me was still a bitter, bitter subject with me.

"You know that doesn't ever matter. Not to me." Jett answered, deliberately sliding forward, forcing me to look him in the eye. "You also know I would toss that job aside in a _second _if you let me know you needed me." Jett lightly scolded.

I scoffed, tossing my head back and allowing a sour, joyless smile to smother my face. Crossing my arms, I lifted my chin arrogantly, narrowing my eyes at him, the edges of my mouth curving in a way that wasn't entirely innocent.

"So?" I said softly, the words rolling off my tongue with a dangerous purr that had nothing to do with sexual attraction and everything to do with the desire to hit him where it hurts. That is one of the things I hate the most about being in one of these moods, I rarely strike out against Jett but when I do, it always makes me feel like the Factions largest bag of shit around.

Jett recoiled, hurt and burning anger flaring in his dark eyes.

"Who was with you when you started feeling like this?" Jett snapped, fighting through his anger…for me. Somewhere in my mind, the little girl in me that adored Jett to no end was melting and sobbing at the pain I was causing him but at this moment, I really don't care.

"Why should I answer you?" I asked defiantly and Jett slammed his fist down on the heavy wood table, shooting to his feet. Everyone at the table fell silent, turning to us with stunned and bewildered looks but neither of us were paying attention to anyone outside of our little bubble.

"Pazia!" He growled and I falter, close to being startled completely out of this mood, just not yet.

"Raven." I muttered petulantly, folding my arms and gazing moodily up at him from under my lashes.

"And?" Jett asked dangerously, a note of anguish in his dark eyes at having to be this way with me.

I looked resolutely away from him, wanting to say the blonde Dauntless leaders name but at the same time, wanting Jett to have to work for the name. I peeked slyly at Jett from the corner of my eyes, giggling softly under my breath, swinging my feet underneath the table and cocking my head mockingly to the side.

From the look on my face, partially obstinate and sly but mostly teasing, Jett could read the answer on my face.

"Eric." He spoke, ringing fury in his voice and blazing in his striking shadowed eyes.

"What about me, Jethro?" Eric said loudly, shifting in his seat, coiled power showing in the way his entire body tensed up, power just waiting to blow.

Jett spun around to face him, beyond pissed off.

"How long has she been like this?" Jett spat, gesturing to me. I sat there, humming a wildly fluctuating tune under my breath, slowly dragging my fingers through the chocolate cake and licking the icing off my fingers one at a time.

"What does it matter?" Eric snapped back, pushing to his feet and facing Jett head on. The two males have an explosive air about them, like they are two predators, about to go off, erupting at each other in a furious whirlwind of anger and blood.

"It _matters_ because Paz can't control herself when she feels like this." Jett said lowly, fierce heat burning in his voice.

"Oh really?" Angel asked, a delighted note in her voice. Jett scoffed and shot her a derisive glance.

"That means she would have no compunctions about slitting your throat if you antagonize her enough." Jett gritted his teeth and spoke through them, the barely restrained edge in his voice making slight worry creep through me.

Still, I didn't let that stop me from smiling sweetly at Angel, even as I allowed myself to palm the steak knife and twirl it through my fingers.

Angel's eyes widened and she shifted back before stopping herself from retreating any further.

An explosive sigh left Jett and he dropped back down onto the bench, gripping my wrist tightly with one hand and prying the knife out of my fist with the other hand.

"Don't Paz," Jett said softly, all of his rage gone as he spoke to me. "You are going to hurt yourself or someone else."

"Isn't that the point?" I cocked my head to the side, genuine puzzlement in my face. Jett paused and leveled me with a long look, full of warmth and exasperated amusement that shook me out of the mood just a little more.

For one moment, I could feel clarity, as cool and sweet as a fresh breeze before it slipped free, tauntingly close but not getting any closer.

"Sure, Paz." Jett quietly, setting the knife to the side and pulling me closer to him. I smiled cheekily up at him as he found the other steak knife hidden under my shirt and dropped it onto the table before turning back to Eric. "How long has she been like this?" Jett asked again, all of the patience and fondness leeched from his tone and leaving nothing but ice in its wake.

Eric narrowed his blue eyes, the muscle in his jaw flexing as he refused to answer. I flicked my gaze between the two of them, sudden clarity telling me I shouldn't let them fight.

"Since this afternoon when I was categorizing last minute items for my BBT rooms." I blurted out and Jett turned to me, a resigned look in his dark eyes.

"Come here." Jett said softly, gently gripping my chin in his calloused fingers, forcing me to look at him so he can gauge just how much darkness is lingering in me by the look in my eyes.

I didn't bother to hide it, the level of darkness lurking behind my blue eyes. I left it all bare, uncovered to be slowly swept over by Jett's completely accepting gaze, his lack of disgust a soothing balm for my tumultuous soul.

Suddenly smiling breezily up at him, I let the false brightness glow in my eyes but Jett, my ever perceptive Jett, isn't fooled and shakes his head, staring down at me. He can always tell when my eyes don't light up the way they should when I am truly happy and content.

"Did you let Paz fight this out of her system?" Jett asked, turning to Eric again with flinty eyes.

"What makes you think she would get into a fight?" Eric snapped and Jett smiled coldly.

"She fought with you last time. Violence and spilt blood are nearly all that can satisfy her when she gets like this." Jett answered coldly. "And judging by your question, I'm guessing she didn't get to fight." Jett's voice grew just a bit louder, showing just how pissed off he was that his iron-clad control over his emotions was slipping.

Growing bored with the conversation, I hummed under my breath again, drawn to the warmth I can feel from Jett. Cuddling into his side, I take a moment to appreciate the silky rock hard muscles shifting and releasing in his chest. Allowing my hands to wander, I ghosted them over his arm, tracing the tattoos with gentle fingers before my gaze drifts over to a spiked tattoo peeking out from his black v-neck shirt.

I tug lightly at the collar but Jett gently brushes my hands to the side, steadily raising his voice as he reams into Eric. Huffing, I decide if I can't peek at the tattoo from the top, I might as well look at it from below.

Grasping the hem of his shirt, I lift it and slide my hands over the warm skin, dimly appreciating the warm smoothness beneath my palms. Odd but I haven't looked at Jett as sexy before but damn is he. The thought flashes through my brain faster than I can sternly banish it.

Caressing his skin, I apply more pressure, using my nails this time and Jett cuts his words off with a low groan even as he jumps, startled.

"Fuck, Paz, why?" Jett groans, gripping my wrists tightly in his hands and pulling them away from his skin.

Pouting prettily up at Jett, I gaze up at him from under my dark lashes, tilting my head until the lights hit my blue eyes just right, making them sparkle. A dazed look washes over him and Jett stares at me, unable to resist me.

Pleased, I twist my wrists free and tug his shirt up again, happily tracing the large tattoo of a inky black phoenix with brilliant blue eyes rising from flames on his side. Uncaring of what is going on around me, I trace the tattoo with quick strokes, pulling one hand away to tug my silver phoenix necklace out from under my shirt, comparing the two.

"They match!" I exclaimed, delighted at my discovery.

"Enough, Paz!" Eric snapped and I turned to him, fluttering my lashes in a darkly teasing look, tucking my head down and tilting it to the side, pressing my body fully against Jett's in a way that made Eric's icy blue eyes flare with dangerous energy.

"This could have been us, only in a far better position…If you hadn't teased me and then walked away before we got here." I taunted, snuggling into Jett's side.

"Fuck that, you are such a fucking pain in my ass, Reynolds!" Eric growled and I paused, turning to look up at Jett with that same deadly look swimming through my eyes.

Jett gazed down at me, his mouth set in a firm pout, an unintentional one, I could tell because the moment I looked at him, he wiped it away and replaced it with a conspiring smile.

"Not that I don't appreciate the effort to fuck with Coulter's mind, 'cause I do, I just don't think you realize that while we may be best friends, I _am _a male with fully functioning body parts and you are a clearly attractive female that has no compunctions about teasing me, however thoughtlessly." Jett said lowly and I froze, gazing up at him with wide eyes, fully snapped out of my odd mood.

"Jett…" I said, bewildered at the hint of deep, consuming lust in his eyes before he blinked it away and looked past me, a strained look in his eyes.

I turned to look, clenching my jaw when I saw he was looking at Raven…no, Lyrica.

"Sorry, I didn't realize." I apologized, sliding off him. Jett blinked and focused his eyes on me, a laughing grin pulling at his full mouth.

"Doesn't matter, I can appreciate the effect you have on me, even as I wish other women had it." Jett shrugged and turned to his tray. "Eat up, Pazzy. We have a trip to Amity tomorrow." He shot me a conspiring wink, the odd moment past us.

I knew he would confront me about my descent into 'the mood' later but for right now, I relaxed into eating beside Jett, ignoring the questioning and disturbed looks the Leaders were shooting me. I know I'm going to have to talk with them too now but what continues to drift through my mind is two things.

1) Eric has yet to stop glaring at Jett and I, possessive anger bright in his eyes.

2) Jett…how had I not noticed just how attracted to me he was…and just how attracted I, in turn, am to him?

* * *

Selyse Newman - Thank you so much!

musicluver246 - I really appreciate you taking the time to stop and review!

Veera98 - I guess she is going just a _tiny bit _phsyco but really, doesn't she deserve it with everything she's been through? Let her blow off some steam! Hopefully Eric handled Paz in a way you liked and if not, I'm sure in the future he will! The joggers...yeah... Thanks so much for your review! I love that you review on different parts of the story, it just makes my day!

ZabuzasGirl - Thank you for your review!

mmelody6 - :)

Derbygirl63 - Aww...you thought it was super creepy? Good. That's what I was going for! So, there may not have been a bloody fight but there _was _a fight so...also, did you really think Eric would just stand by and let her toss the kids into the Chasm? ...I was _so _tempted to do that after your review but that would have caused a whole slew of problems, one of them being Paz becoming Factionless and her being separated from Eric so...I couldn't do that but I could possibly write an alternate one-shot if you like? Just let me know! And thanks for your awesome review!


	21. Chapter 21

"Are you really just going to pretend nothing has changed?" Ellie's voice was high pitched and held a mixture of excitement, fascination and disbelief.

"So what if I am?" I cocked an eyebrow at her, wiggling into a pair of jeans, wrinkling my nose at them. Ugh, I need to update my wardrobe, stat.

"So, you realize you think Jett is attractive, Eric is getting increasingly jealous, you won't admit to yourself feelings for the blonde leader- which is, in a way, admitting you have feelings for the blonde leader and…you're just gonna ignore it all?!" Ellie's voice grew progressively higher and I winced, cocking an eyebrow at her.

"Modulate your voice, girl." I ordered and she flipped me off without hesitation, making a grin burst across my face.

"Let's go." Ellie grumbled, hopping off my bed and leading the way out of the apartment. "Look, I know you don't want to talk about your past but…is there any chance your father-" Ellie cut herself at the suddenly, perilously empty expression, my blue eyes devoid of the light and laughter that normally gives them a cheerful glow.

"You know I love you, Els," I began, my voice low and tight as I fought with myself to not snap at her despite how out of control the very _mention_ of my father makes me feel. "But that subject is off limits, even to _you_." My tight leash of control snapped the slightest bit, giving the last word some bite that made Ellie flinch for a moment.

"I know. I'm sorry, I shouldn't have brought it up." Ellie said softly, turning her gaze away from me.

Guilt prickled at me and I clenched my fists at my side, feeling like nothing is going right lately. If I can't figure out how to fix the things rapidly going wrong, my whole world is going to crash and burn.

**_Battle Scars_**

"So…you'll go with me to the parental center in a couple days?" Hope and wariness shone in Raven's eyes and I nodded, fighting against my automatic instinct to flash a bright, if insincere, smile. Instead, I reached out and laced our fingers together in a rare but truthful moment.

Gratitude and happiness shone in Raven's eyes and she darted forward to wrap her arms around me in a quick hug, dancing away before I could even stiffen. Snarling playfully at her, I darted forward and she shrieked with laughter, racing off into the tunnel.

Grinning, I chased after her, grateful I have such understanding friends.

What the hell did I ever do to deserve them?

…I hope I don't ever lose them and the thought scares me.

**_Battle Scars_**

"You ready?" Jett looked at me with barely hidden concern and I nodded, bouncing on my toes.

"Of course!" My mouth twitched into a teasing leer. "Are you?" I cocked my head at a jaunty angle, flashing a brilliant smirk. "'cause if you aren't, I'm sure I could get _someone _to hold your hand as you tried and ultimately failed to get on the train." I shot him a mock sympathetic look and he gasped dramatically, dark eyes dancing at the return of our familiar and easy banter.

"Why, you little shit! Get back here!" He lunged at me and I flitted to the side, elated snickers spilling out and a weightless bubble of happiness in my chest.

"Dauntless Leader Sienna approaching!" I heard one of my escorts bark out in quick warning.

I skidded to a stop, swearing rapidly under my breath and dodging Jett as he tried to skid to a stop too. I heard a muffled crash as he thudded into one of the other Dauntless guards and they crashed to the ground.

Sienna drew closer and I smiled innocently, waving cheerily at her as Jett scrambled to his feet, swearing rapidly under his breath.

"Hey, Sienna!" I called and she cocked an amused brunette eyebrow at me, flicking her red and brown hair over her shoulder and shaking her head at me, green eyes glinting with amusement.

"Causing trouble already, Paz?" Sienna asked dryly, coming to a halt and crossing her arms, planting her feet wide to keep her balance as the ground began to rumble, signaling the train on its way.

"Not at all." I smiled blandly, jerking my elbow out and into Jett's side. He muffled a curse, shooting me a filthy glare and pouting. I grinned cheekily back at him, deepening it until my rarely shown dimples appear. He blinked, startled and a little dazed.

"Stop flirting and get ready to jump!" Sienna shouted, the roar of the train nearly drowning out her words. I spied a small, disapproving glint in her eyes and turned away, her words flashing through my mind again.

_-She leaned in closer and hesitated before speaking. "Don't break his heart." She said lowly before getting up and leaving.-_

God, my life is just…spiraling out of my control. Groaning under my breath, I took a step forward as the train roared past, the wind whipping my hair out of the ponytail I had it pulled back in. Spitting out strands of my multicolored hair, I raced forward, shooting Jett a competitive look and grinning at him.

With a loud whoop, Jett raced after me, his whole body tensing as he leapt, easily catching the handle of the train and swinging himself inside, flipping around so he was crouched down and facing me, his dark hair being blown into his eyes.

"Come on, Pazzy!" I could see the shape of his mouth, reading the words and laughing. Pumping my arms and legs faster, I enjoyed the stretch and release of my body, excess energy being worked off as I raced alongside the train. I can tell if I wait much longer, I'm going to have to get into a different train box so I gather up my muscles and leap, feeling the gritty, rusted handle under my palm. It scraped lightly and I whooped, slinging my body into the train and tumbling into Jett, wrestling gleefully with him as the others cheered around us.

I love this feeling, the way my heart is pounding in my chest, threatening to burst completely free of the mortal skin holding it carefully in place. The wind rakes through my curls, flipping my hair around my face and I throw my head back, full laughter escaping me as Jett lunges up, tossing me over his shoulder and rolling around on the ground.

I hang onto his shirt with both fists, still laughing uproariously, doubled over his shoulder and clinging on to him. I can feel his laughter reverberating through me, shaking both of our bodies with the force of it. My grin hurts my cheeks and I know that our eyes share matching shines at the feeling of being together.

For once I don't have to worry about having Eric over my shoulder, glaring with fierce possessiveness that despite myself, I find myself enjoying increasingly more every day.

I pull back and grin happily down at Jett, the wind whipping my hair around the two of us, small, stinging lashes leaving kisses of pain behind. Settled into Jett's lap, I glance around at the others around us.

Along with Sienna are Izayah, Tabby, Zander, Ellie, Raza and Misty. I grin over at my friends, seeing the elated expressions on their faces.

This is the first time we will be having actual official time spent together and I feel a little sting of worry. I don't want to cause a rift between my friends and I but today I will be acting in the official capacity of a Dauntless-leader-in-training and I am going to have to act like it.

The train whistle blows out, sharp and piercing and I wince, cringing.

Jett laughs at the expression on my face and I wrinkle my nose at him, settling deeper into his lap and leaning forward, resting my chin on his shoulder and allowing my eyes to slide half shut as I stare at the world whipping past.

**_XXX_**

"Here's where we get off!" Sienna shouted, hopping to her feet and impatiently brushing aside her red-streaked hair. I nodded and leapt up, easily keeping my balance even as the train continued to barrel forward. Sienna stood back before racing forward, leaping off and tucking into a roll.

I lined up with Jett on one side and Ellie on the other, leaping off with them without a second thought.

I arched out in a dive before tucking my head and arms in, my shoulder coming into contact with the ground first before my body continued with the momentum and I rolled. Keeping my body tucked tight, I opened my eyes, watching as the world whirled past in a blur before I completed the roll and smoothly pushed off with my feet, flipping myself into the air, jogging a few steps before I caught my balance and settled into a walk.

Turning around, I watched at the others leapt out of the train and rolled to a stop. Sienna jogged over, smiling breathlessly.

"I love doing that." She said, the glow in her eyes showing the truth of that statement. I matched her grin with mine, bouncing on the balls of my feet, rolling my shoulders and nodding my head.

"Agreed!" I laughed, settling down a little.

"Dauntless! Over here!" I automatically turned, spotting a group of people dressed in bright, cheerful yellow and red stepping out of the woods. I glanced over at Sienna, my hand dropping down into my sleek black jacket, the silver detailing glinting under the sun.

"It's fine, Paz. That's the delegation Amity has sent." Sienna said, amusement coloring her tone. I nodded, a small flush on my cheeks and I released the hilt of my knife and allowed my hands to dangle by my sides.

"It's a rather rag-tag group, isn't it?" I asked and she shrugged, nodding.

"Yeah but it's to be expected. Amity votes on who they send out, that's how they normally deal with things in a peaceful, non-confrontational way." Sienna said, the small twist to her mouth showing her disdain with the way Amity was run.

I widened my eyes with true surprise, her disgust echoing with me.

"Wait, seriously?" I asked. "Connor told me that but I thought he was lying!" I exclaimed and she whipped her head to me.

"The little shit did what? _I'm_ supposed to be teaching you about Amity!" Sienna said loudly and I shrugged, turning my attention on the Amity people getting closer.

"Sienna! It's good to see you!" A girl bounded forward, green eyes glittering with happiness and honey-blonde hair flying out behind her. The girl was slight and delicate, something about the gentle shape of her mouth and the way she held herself, with inner peace reflected by the gentle glow in her eyes told me she was truly content with her home in Amity.

"Yeah, I'm sure it is, Falene." Sienna scoffed but there was something uncharacteristically soft in her voice and I shot her a sharp look, curiosity stirring in me. I flicked my gaze between the girl hugging Sienna and the dauntless leader, cocking my head to the side.

They…hmmm.

Maybe…no.

Oh.

They are siblings.

That's the only conclusion I can come up with that makes sense. The signs are in the exact same color of their eyes, the small but pertly tilted noses and even their smiles. Wow. Sienna…was born in…Amity?

The absolutely bewildered look on my face makes Sienna laugh and gently push her sister back.

"Yeah, she's my sister, Paz." Sienna gently teases and I blink, stunned. Shifting my cobalt gaze over to Falene, I cocked my head to the side, scanning her up and down. She blushed softly but held my gaze. If it were someone else, I would have bristled and stepped forward to challenge them but this girl holds my gaze with gentle curiosity and a core of strength that makes my eyes widen.

Well. It figures that Sienna's sibling would have the same core of strength.

"Hello, Paz. Sienna has told me a lot about you." Falene holds her hand out and I look blankly at it for a moment before nodding and flashing a polite but somewhat reserved smile.

"All good things, I hope." I shot a mock stern look at Sienna and she grinned, shrugging at me.

"Maybe, maybe not. I guess you'll never know!" Sienna crowed and I narrowed my eyes at her but there was a grin on my face. "Anyway, as you know, this is Paz and Ellie. The rest are Raza, Misty, Zander, Tabby, Izayah and Jethro." Sienna reeled off and turned to a tall but broad man. "Everyone, this is Mack, my father and my two brothers, Clint and Teddy." Sienna said, gesturing to the two guys.

We muttered greetings and Sienna smiled, leading the way through the woods while she chatted easily with her family, a protective arm slung around Falene, who listed with wide eyes and a look of almost hero-worship in her eyes.

"Did you guys know Sienna was an Amity transfer?" Tabby asked, popping up at my shoulder. She was looking just as shell-shocked as I was.

"Of course!" Ellie said and I looked at her with surprise.

"And you didn't think we would be interested in knowing that?" I asked and she shrugged, looking faintly apologetic and amused.

"I thought you already knew and just weren't saying anything so you could make fun of the others for not knowing."

I have to admit, that does sound like something I would do.

"What does it really matter anyway?" Ellie asked and I bit my lower lip, careful not to bite down on the two silver hoops side by side in my lower lip.

"It doesn't. I was just surprised because Sienna is really the leader I've been trying to model myself after." I admitted, seeing their surprise and brushing it to the side.

"Really? I didn't think you would try to act like someone else. You have always struck me as the type to not give two fucks about what anyone else thinks." Raza said and I grinned at him with pride.

"Thank you."

We caught up to Sienna and her family, following them to the Amity compound. It was cheerful, spacious and the buildings had the lingering look of nature about them. I spotted along building, a few creatures that I vaguely recognized as horses being led in and out of it. There were picnic type benches outside the main building and I gathered from the people eating there that it was supposed to be their primary eating space.

"Johanna!" Sienna called and I focused on the short, round woman heading our way. Perhaps short and round wasn't the best description for the woman with dark skin and a beautiful, warm and welcoming light in her eyes. She was wearing loose and flowing clothes in yellow trimmed with red, a smile on her face.

I could sense the core of inner strength in her and it surprised me. I thought Dauntless was supposed to have the strong ones?

"Welcome to Amity, Sienna. We haven't had you here for a while. Oh, Ellie! It's good to see you again!" Johanna said warmly, pulling first Sienna into a hug before scooping up Ellie next. She turned her eyes on us and I resisted the urge to shuffle my feet, instead standing tall in front of her.

There is something about this woman that makes me feel like a child again and I itch to prove myself to her laughing eyes. It wasn't cruel laughter but warm laughter, like she was inviting you into her confidence and I could almost physically feel my walls wanting to melt away and leave the sun shining in and warming my soul.

"Hello, I don't believe we have met." Johanna said strongly and I gave her a quick nod, my eyes quiet and watchful.

"My name is Pazia and I am here on official capacity as a Dauntless-leader-in-training." I explained respectfully. Sienna shot me a puzzled look, no doubt wondering at why I am not acting as loud and wild as I normally do.

"Welcome to Amity, Pazia." Johanna said, opening her arms and- before I could realize what she was doing- pulled me into a hug. I froze in her arms, shocked and shook to my core.

There is something about her hugs, something that warms my heart in a quick, painful pulse but at the same time, I don't want to pull away because that would mean losing this feeling. I would imagine this is the feeling a mother's hug would give and I relax the tiniest bit to bring my arms up to her shoulders, hugging her back for the barest of seconds before I gently extract myself by stepping back.

I feel oddly fragile right now and she smiles at me with gentle, accepting understanding that makes my eyes widen.

She's…she's dangerous.

Turning to the rest of the group, Johanna waits patiently for introductions and once she receives them, she smiles broadly and ushers us into the main building. The whole way up to her office, she chatters calmly, bringing all of my friends into conversation like they were all natural born Amity members and I would feel irked about it- if _I_ wasn't wanting her attention, something that shakes me.

"You'll get used to that feeling." Ellie whispers softly in my ear, giving my hand a gentle squeeze before releasing it.

I nod blankly and return my attention to the wide, open and welcoming office.

"So, what did you want to speak with me about?" Johanna asks calmly and Sienna looks expectantly at me. I froze, for a moment forgetting what I was supposed to be saying before I recovered and sat down in front of Johanna's desk.

"We need a new supply of grain for Dauntless and a perimeter report from last month to this month." I answer and she smiles brightly at me, as though she is actually pleased we have come from another Faction to blatantly pry through her business.

"Of course, I have it right here." Johanna opens her desk and pulls out a thick sheaf of papers, handing them over. I handle them awkwardly, privately wondering why she didn't just put all of this information on a thumb drive. "Was there anything else?" Johanna asked, folding her hands on her desk.

"Yes, to your knowledge, how many members of Amity would be transferring to Dauntless next year?" Sienna asked bluntly and I tucked the papers in Ellie's bag, listening intently.

"As far as I can tell, there will only be one member." Johanna answered and Sienna shot a look at Falene. The look was cautiously hopeful but at the same time, rife with warning and a slight hint of anger.

"Who?" Sienna asked and Falene laughed lightly, shaking her head.

"Not me. I'm going to stay here." Falene said, a sense of confidence and security in her that I both admired and envied. I may do my best to act like I have my shit together but half the time, my confidence is fake; a mask used to cover up how unsure I am in my new role as the only LIT for dauntless.

This girl, however, radiates a inner sense of peace, like she knows who and what she is meant to be and nothing will ever shake that confidence in herself. I want to feel like that and I hope one day I will.

"You sure?" Sienna asked but she had relaxed and amusement glinted in Falene's eyes said she caught it. My estimation of the girl raised a few more notches.

"Positive." Falene said cheerfully, leaning into her father's side.

"Good." Sienna said, a distinct note of satisfaction in her voice.

"Who is the person you believe will be a transfer?" I asked, leaning forward and getting us back on track. Johanna hesitated, the barest hint of apprehension in her eyes before she stood up.

"If you will follow me, I can take you to where he works. He should be in the wood chopping field right now." Johanna explained, leading us back through the building and outside.

"Why do you think he will be transferring to Dauntless?" I questioned and she smiled grimly.

"You will see." She said and I cast a look back at Ellie, who had a troubled look on her face. I cocked my head to the side, wondering at it but decided not to push.

Tabby pushed forward, striding at my side with a faint look of uneasiness in her eyes. I can tell she feels like me, comfortable in this place and caught off guard and therefore, defensive at feeling comfortable in the place that is not our faction.

"This place gives me the creeps." Tabby muttered.

"Tell me about it, I definitely get the banjo strumming softies feeling here." I muttered back and she cracked an infectious grin that I mirrored.

"Too true." She agreed as we slowed down.

The large field stretching out in front of us was a rippling pond of golden wheat, certain areas having the wheat cut out in large circles. In the circles were piles of long tree trunks and a platform where men and women alike chopped wood with surprising strength. They all moved with a sense of confidence as they shouted across the field, laughter and gleeful words ringing out in the peaceful air.

A light breeze ruffled my hair and I stared at the sky with incredulity.

"Seriously? How much more perfect can this place get?" I asked. This place is perfect, yes but it is, in a way, _too _perfect for me to ever have survived here.

"I don't like this place." Tabby said and I nodded.

"It's normally like that with people from Dauntless." Johanna said, laughter in her eyes and voice. "Your faction first feels uncomfortable and off-guard and from there, they either love this place or hate it. Most of you end up hating it in my experience." Johanna said and I jerked my chin up defensively.

"This place isn't real." I snapped and strode past her, surveying the field with Tabby nodding in agreement at my side.

"Which one is it?" Sienna asked, breaking the slightly awkward silence.

"That one." Johanna pointed and I followed her finger.

At first, I thought she was mistaken because the male chopping wood with speed and visible anger could not belong to such a peaceful place as Amity. He was huge, already bulked up with muscle and from the tight scowl on his face, was _not_ happy where he was. He had closely cropped dark red hair, tan skin and was too far away from me to tell his eye color.

He looked almost as tall as Eric and while bulky, not as large as Eric. There was something familiar about him and I furrowed my brow, cocking my head to the side in contemplation.

"He's my little brother." Ellie spoke up at my side, her voice small and her blue eyes locked on her brother.

"He? Is your…_little_...brother?" I asked with disbelief, looking between my tiny, copper-haired friend and the large brute on the field.

"Yeah."

"Wow." I said blankly and she forced a small smile.

"We are half siblings and I always avoided him because he was such an angry kid growing up. Nothing anyone does or did ever reached him. He is always getting into fights and even though he eats the bread laced with peace serum, he is violent and is never calm." Ellie said.

"When he gets into Dauntless, he's going to be a force to be reckoned with. I hope Lauren can handle him." Sienna commented and I nodded, pulling out my tablet and marking him down as someone to watch.

"Right. Is there anyone else?" I asked briskly, turning on one heel to face Johanna, ready to be out of this faction.

"Not that I can think of." Johanna answered slowly, a piercing look in her eyes. I nodded curtly.

"Then our business here is done." I stated, swiftly turning and heading back the way we came. "Fall in!" I barked out and the hurried thud of boots marching in time told me they had listened. I glanced back in time to see Sienna pull away from giving Johanna a hug, followed by Ellie.

It doesn't look like they are as removed from their old faction as they should be but I turn forward, resolving to focus on something else.

"We aren't going to the lakes today?" Jett pulled up beside me and settled into an easy jog that matched me step for step.

"Not today. This place is making me uneasy." I answered lowly and he nodded, understanding in his eyes.

"I feel the same way but I do want to go to those lakes. I'm tired of taking showers." Jett grumbled and I laughed, marveling at how he can raise my mood with just a few words.

"We'll sneak out and visit the lakes sometime, I promise." I teased and Jett grinned back at me.

"I'm holding you to that." Jett said firmly and I shrugged in agreement.

"I know." The content note in my voice both pleased and startled me. I haven't felt content in a long while.

We make our way back to the train in relaxed silence, making it there just as the train almost finishes going past.

"Come on!" I shouted and whooped, leading the charge across the grass. Laughing, I pushed myself to go faster, everyone easily keeping up. We pull closer, there are five box cars left. Racing faster, I leap into the third one, everyone piling in after me.

Laughing, we untangle ourselves and settle back on the train, talking together about the visit to Amity. The talk is full of teasing remarks to Ellie about how she got the midget genes and her brother got the giant genes.

Her cheeks are red with a mixture of annoyance and the wind nipping at them by the time we make it back to the Dauntless compound.

I stand and ready myself to jump off, racing forward and launching myself off with the others. For a moment, we are suspended in air before arch down and roll, smoothly popping to our feet at the same time, using the moment to keep jogging forward.

I am in the lead with Jett right at my side, Ellie and Tabby hanging back the slightest bit, the others fanning out behind us.

After being at bright and open Amity, Dauntless is a bit of a shock to my senses, but a good one. I embrace the shadows, roughly hewn stones, eerie red lights and the way others race past with reckless speed and loud laughter.

Maybe in another life I could have been in Amity but in this life, I am beyond happy. I have no desire to ditch Dauntless for Amity and the thought pleases me.

I'm a member of Dauntless. A full member and a leader in training to boot. How can life get any better than this?

We were rounding the bend at a steady marching jog when I spotted them.

Max, Eric, Jeanine and Peyton.

The four of them were walking along slowly, Max listening intently as Jeanine spoke. Eric was behind them, a large, hulking mass of golden skin barely holding in all of the muscles. It's funny but I hardly notice anymore how _large _Eric is.

He is so tall that his head nearly brushed the top of the tunnel and his shoulders are wide and bulky enough that they take up a lot of space. Unlike with Jett, he doesn't narrow down at the waist. He is just more muscle and power. He walks with this steady, prowling gait, like he is the ultimate predator and he is just humoring his prey by keeping a collar on.

The sudden thought of Eric in a collar, shirtless with leather pants and no shoes flashes through my mind and heat flashes through me, glittering in my eyes and making a slight red tint on my cheekbones.

They see us a moment later.

Jeanine nods in acknowledgement while Max grimaces the slightest bit, caution mixed with welcome in his eyes. Eric sweeps his strong blue gaze over us. He has a look of bored blankness on his face that sharpens into dark interest when he sees Jett jogging at my side. His icy blue eyes linger on my cheeks, the red in my cheeks and the glitter in my eyes making confusion twist briefly through his expression before something like possessive rage brews in his gaze. He draws his eyebrows down, the hawk-like intensity of his gaze bringing to mind, again, Eric in a collar, a barely leashed force that could take me at any moment but was simply humoring my caution.

My breath caught in my throat, the intensity of the emotions riled up inside at a simple, single glance from Eric startling me.

"Sienna. Paz. I take it your Amity trip went well?" Max asked as they drew closer. I nodded and turned to Ellie, accepting the papers just as she handed them out. Smoothly transferring them over to Max, I slowed to a stop, fixing my eyes on the senior leader.

"Absolutely. We have everything we needed." I answered and he nodded with approval, accepting the papers and tucking them under his arm.

"Good, what are you doing next?" Max questioned and I shrugged, glancing back at my group.

"We may go to the Torture Chambers." I answered easily and Jeanine's sharp blue eyes widened the slightest bit before her icy mask recovered. A mocking smirk twisted on my mouth and I allowed my eyes to linger on her before looking back at Max. "Was there another assignment for me?" I asked and he shook his head.

"You need to go to the control rooms." Eric barked out, his deep, rumbling voice harsh with rage. I cocked an eyebrow at him and pursed my mouth but nodded.

"You know where it is?" I asked Jett and he grinned, nodding at me with his eyes locked on Eric's.

"I used to work in there before I joined border patrol. I know the way." Jett answered and Max nodded curtly.

"Alright, take Paz there and show her the work done in there. Jeanine is going back to Erudite with her assistant-" I coughed to hide a snicker but from the anger in Peyton's eyes, I could tell she knew it was really a snicker. Good. "-and then I am going to need to meet with you, Jethro. I want you to gather your patrol members and meet in my office, I still need to go over your debriefings from your last mission." Max ordered and Jett nodded respectfully. "The rest of you, take the day off but tomorrow come to my office, I have assignments for each of you."

"Yes, sir!" We all barked at the same time and Max rolled his eyes, a small grin pulling at his mouth as he stalked past. Jeanine walked with him, her cold blue eyes focusing on mine for a moment before she nodded, something about the look in her eyes making me cautious. I watched after her with narrowed eyes, startled into stepping back when Eric walked right at me, his broad chest effortlessly blocking my view of everything around me except him.

For what seemed like the first time, I suddenly registered just how _tiny _I am compared to him. I was like the life-sized doll, barely reaching the middle of his chest. I tipped my head back, staring up at him with a question and vague challenge in my eyes that made him smirk darkly, bending down to wind one hand through my curls, yanking my head back as he moved forward, using his chest to push me back into the tunnel wall.

"I'll see _you_ later." His rumble was thick with want, a needy sound that made me whimper lowly, twisting my thighs together to hold off the automatic pulse of heat that went through me. The action failed though because all it did was rub the bundle of nerves at the apex of my thighs and my breath caught in my throat as I brought my hands up to clutch at his dark jacket. Normally, he would seal our mouths together in a rough tangle of teeth and tongue but for once, he is exercising control and, in turn, building up the heat between us even more.

I wanted to say something, anything but for once, my words and blustering confidence failed me. I watched with wide eyes as he released me and strode off into the tunnels, his hulking form fading gracefully into the darkness of the tunnels.

* * *

A/N: Quick shoutout to my reviewers (because you guys are so awesome), I just want to say thank you so much. I really appreciate the fact that you guys take the time to give a quick (or long) review after reading a chapter. I love that you tell me what you like and how anxious you are for another chapter. Those types of reviews just make my day and set me to writing even more! I don't know how many of you actually read these A/N's but I have been typing up a storm recently and since I don't want to lose this sudden burst of inspiration, I'm still typing. I have a couple of chapters written out and ready to go so I plan on establishing an updating schedule (until I get the dreaded writer's block again and have to struggle for each chapter) and since I know Monday isn't really a good day for so many people, that's going to be my updating day. Hopefully these chapters will be a bright spot at the end of a bad day and if they aren't, I'm sure there are plenty of other stories that will be. Once again, thanks so much to everyone, not just my reviewers. I adore every single one of you that follow, favorite and review my story!

Guest - Hello and thank you so much! I am so flattered you think this is one of the best Eric/OC stories you have read. It's really awesome that I have international readers that appreciate my writing. I will work on writing a chapter from Eric's POV but I think I'm going to post it as a one-shot instead of part of this story. I'll definitely let everyone know in my A/N at the top or bottom of the chapter when I finish it and post it! Once again, thanks so much for reading and reviewing!

Veera98 - Yeah...it would have been fun if the joggers didn't survive but like I stated previously, it would have created too many other problems that would have broken Paz/Eric apart. I was actually going to write a smut scene there but for some reason, Eric thought it would be more fun to drag it out so it ended up just teasing you guys but not following through. As for slapping Eric...you are completely right on that subject! It almost makes me want to write a scene where Paz (for some reason) slaps Eric...I am so happy you liked the development between Jett/Paz because I realize most if not all of my readers came into this story under the impression that this was a singularly Eric/OC fic. While that is the ultimate endgame- the OTP for this fic, I am not going to make it that easy for either of them! And that 'proud mommy' line made me burst into laughter and grin for hours so THANK YOU! I swear, you are one of the best reviewers for this story!

Selyse Newman - Thank you so much for your review, I'm glad you liked the chapter!

calhounariel97 - Ha! That suggestion made me grin because it totally _would_ fuck with Eric! However, I don't think we want Jett to die! Thanks so much for your review, I really appreciate it!

mmelody6 - Thank you so much!


	22. Chapter 22

_**A/N: Hey guys, sorry about missing the update for Monday, work had me getting up at 5 in the morning and working until 3 and then going straight home and then leaving again to do more work until about 8 so I was exhausted. I hope this chapter and all it's goodiness makes up for it! Please enjoy and don't forget to leave a review at the bottom!**_

**_~Battle-Scars~_**

I glanced to the side, seeing Jett's clenched jaw and angry eyes but not saying anything.

My suspicions from the other day are being confirmed more and more, to the sinking in my stomach. While I am attracted to Jett, that is natural considering how he looks. The only problem is…I love him but I'm not _in love _with him. If Jett is in love with me…what the fuck am I going to do?

"I don't like him, Pazzy." Jett said lowly and I bit harshly into my lower lip.

"Why not?" I asked, fighting to keep my voice neutral, waving as Misty, Tabby, Raza, Ellie and Izayah split off to enjoy the rest of their day off.

"He's…he is just too intense." Jett said, fighting for words. "He looks at you like you are a possession, like you aren't a person but a _thing_ that he has laid claim to. I don't fucking like it, Paz." The anger in his eyes faded and I could see this wasn't coming from misguided jealousy but from that possessive place that we both share in regards with each other.

Isn't that how I felt when he started dating Lyrica? How can I fight against him feeling like that if…if I was exactly the same way with him?

"He _is _intense." I admitted, looking right at Jett. "But I think, in part, that is why I am attracted to him. The only other person I dated was shy and quiet and he matched my old personality but now…I've changed, Jett-"

"But that's the thing, Pazzy! Who you are, who you enjoy being now…I always saw you this way. I never saw you as shy, quiet or meek! I have _always _seen the fire in you. I was there with you every step of the way and when we had to be separated, the thought _killed_ me! Why do you think I chose Dauntless?" Jett burst out, rounding on me.

I backed into the wall, staring at him with shock.

"What-" I paused and licked my lips nervously. "What are you saying, Jett? Did you not get Dauntless on your Aptitude test?" I asked softly and Jett looked away, clenching his jaw. His lack of an answer told me everything I needed to know and my gut just dropped, leaving me with my heart in my throat and a dizzy feeling sweeping through me.

"I knew you would be Dauntless, Pazzy. How could you not be? I couldn't-I can't- I wouldn't _ever _leave you behind." The desperate spill of words from him tore my walls down, leaving me bare and vulnerable to him in the way I only can be with Jett.

I stumbled forward and suddenly, we were in a desperate hug, locked together, our hearts beating together in a frantic rush of worry and the overwhelming possibilities of _what if we hadn't ended up together?_

I clutch tighter to Jett, unable to tell if it is him that is trembling or me. In the end, it doesn't matter when he pulls back and locks our mouths together in a desperate, needy kiss that isn't born from lust so much as it is born from the inability to process the thought of not being together.

Terror for what could have been races through my veins, prompting me to kiss him back with the same desperation, like he is the air I need to breathe and I _will _get it. He offers it up willingly, not holding _anything _back and I suddenly realize that Jett and I…we are not platonic but together we aren't what Eric and I are.

I just can't pin-point exactly what Eric and I verses what Jett and I are.

Jett and I have always been….we've always been Bean Pole and Butterfly. Jetty and Pazzy, the best friends from Erudite and then the commanding, charismatic, unofficial leaders of our own world, our own selves.

I can't picture my life without him and when I attempt it, my heart constricts in my chest, strangling a gasp out of my mouth that is mirrored by him.

Jett pushes me back against the wall, his hands tangled in my hair, his mouth devouring mine. He can't get enough, _I_ can't get enough. I kiss him back with the same rough intensity that he gives me, pushing and yielding against him and…I kiss harder, needing to drown out all of the complications that await me when we break apart.

I can't focus on that now though, all I can focus on is the way his skin is burning up against mine, the way he breathes me in. I can focus on the way I am kissing him back, clinging to him like we are about to be torn apart, a fierce and wild feeling swirling through me, threatening to consume all that we are and all that we could be but-

We can't be.

Jett and I are something more than best friends. We are _more _than pseudo brother and sister. We are _more _than what others would label us because in the end, we just…are.

We are Jett and Paz, members of Dauntless and linked together in a way that will _never _be broken. We are not lovers but we _do _love each other.

The realization settles into my chest as we slowly pull back, the frantic rush to wordlessly pour our emotions and feelings into each other finally ebbing and slowing before finally stopping. I rest my head against his, not realizing until he reaches up and gently sweeps away my tears that I was even crying.

I open my eyes and look up at him, seeing the soothing, gentle acceptance, understanding and love reflected back at me. We are who we are and we won't forget that again, this, we both know.

**_Battle Scars_**

We worked silently together in the control room, the silence only broken when Jett quietly explained something to me. The first thing he taught me was…how to find a video clip and…erase it.

Our kiss…it was something so simple when seen from the outside and for a moment, we both just sat and stared at it, watching as our recognizable forms tangled fiercely, desperately, needily together. I could feel the same emotion flooding through me as I watched it and I itched to reach out to Jett, to hold him and just reassure myself that he was near but…we weren't the only ones in the control room.

I could see the contemplative looks the other people in the room were shooting us.

I didn't recognize any of them but Jett did and when we first got here, one of them pulled him to the side to exchange quick, rushed words.

I knew without having Jett tell me that all of them had seen that intensely private moment in the tunnels but all of them had promised to keep their traps shut as long as we got rid of the evidence…only I couldn't.

I need something, some tangible proof of the realization Jett and I had reached together.

"How…how do I copy a clip onto something?" I asked quietly, looking away from him. I could feel his heavy stare before his warm fingers slid under my chin, gently pulling my head around to meet his. He pressed something into my hand , resting his head against mine and whispering the instructions into my ear before pulling away and busying himself with something on the other side of the room.

I watched him, emotion swelling in me until…I couldn't handle it anymore and turned away, quickly finding the clip, downloading it onto the thumb drive and then erasing the video from the database. Jett turned back to me, a thin silver chain in his hands.

I handed him the small, rectangular black thumb drive, watching as he threaded the chain through the corner. The thumb drive was barely the size of an eraser and when he stepped closer to hook the necklace around my throat, I held on to his waist, savoring this quiet moment.

I rested our heads together, feeling the cool little rectangle rest just above the silver phoenix necklace that was mine then Jett's and now mine again.

"That tattoo," My fingers traced his side and a slow shiver went through him as we stood together, the others studiously looking away.

"It represents you." Jett said lowly and I nodded once, closing my eyes and stepping away. I swallowed deeply, took a breath and smiled up at him.

"You wanna help me find something for you?" I asked and Jett laced our fingers together, squeezing quickly before dropping my hand and leading the way out of the control room and into the tunnels.

"Come on." Jett said and led the way at a jog through the tunnels. We passed right by _Ink and Shit_ and I shot Jett a confused look. He shrugged at me but I could see the excited gleam in his eyes. He has a secret.

We kept going, winding further into the tunnels until Jett took a sharp turn, leading us down. I followed closely behind him, wanting look around but unable to since we were heading into a pitch black section of the tunnel.

This area didn't have cameras, I could see that much and the torches were dim and low, like they weren't taken care of as well as the other ones were. Curiosity was burning in me and I followed closely behind Jett, doing my best to peer over his shoulder.

Jett shot me an excited look over his shoulder and I grinned at him as we began to slow down.

There was a faded sign outside the door and Jett flicked something behind it so that the neon blue, green and orange lights flickered before burning strongly.

"Wow…" I breathed and Jett nodded smugly in understanding.

"Come on." Jett repeated and scooped up my hand, eagerly leading me inside. Outside looked like it was old and forgotten but inside….there was brand new tattooing equipment that made my eyes shine. "I have the stuff you would need over here to draw." Jett said and showed me the desk drawers filled with paper and many different colors of pens and pencils.

Dazed, I looked around the small but cleverly organized room, feeling emotion swell in my throat.

He…

"Jett…why did you show me this room?" I asked haltingly and he turned to me with a shy blush across his cheeks. It startled me. I adore who Jett is with me but I do sometimes miss the way we used to interact back in Erudite. It was something softer and gentler but now we are louder, wilder than they ever were before and yes, it is amazing, but I still miss the way we used to be at times.

"I…I made this room for us. We don't have to tattoo each other but…we can always just hang out here together." He trailed off and I nodded, taking a quick, skipping and stumbling step forward, tumbling into his arms with a small laugh that sounded suspiciously like a sob.

"Thank you." I whispered and he paused before his arms tightened around me and he lifted me up off my feet.

"Anytime, Pazzy. You know that. Anytime."

**_Battle Scars_**

"Where have you been?" Eric's voice was a low growl and I stiffened, slowly turning to him, jerking my jaw up with defiance.

"What's it to you?" I snapped back and he narrowed icy blue eyes at me, stalking closer with his hunting prowl, the smooth, powerful gait bringing him closer to me in seconds. I backed into my door, wondering frantically how he had even gotten into my apartment.

"You know what I've noticed?" Eric snarled quietly, blocking me against the door, looming over me so that I had to crane my head back to meet his stare with rebellious fire. "We haven't been having very much _fun _lately." The muscles in his arms rippled on either side of my head and my heart skipped a beat in my chest as I was momentarily distracted by how supple the skin looked. "Paz!" Eric barked, the deep sound reverberating in his throat and bringing my attention to the dark, thick block tattoos trailing down his throat.

My tongue darted out and I dragged it over my lower lip before sinking white teeth in, lowering my lashes til I was looking up at him from under them.

"Yes?" There was a breathless, throaty quality to my voice and his pupils dilated in a second. His hand darted out faster than my eyes could follow and he gripped me by my throat, slamming me further against the wall even as he locked our mouths together with a furious, desperate snarl.

"_Fuck_." The low groan escaped him and I could barely smirk before he swept me up in a fierce kiss once again. Losing myself in the twist and push and pull of our kiss, I reveled in the way the heat began to creep up on me, a soft, fluttering coil in my stomach. Nipping harshly at his lower lip, I grinned at him and ducked his kiss.

"Not here." I demanded and he glared furiously, flexing his fists at his sides.

"Why not?" He snapped and I clenched my jaw, some of the flirty promise leaving my gaze, the warmth in them dropping several degrees.

"Did you want to fuck or not?" I spat and he narrowed his eyes, gesturing to the door with a short, sharp jerk of his head at my door. I stepped past him, raking my nails lightly over his warm chest and nipping at his chin before darting out the door and racing down the halls with him right behind me.

"You better not be trying to escape." Eric called, the dark promise in his voice making my heart race faster and excitement pound through my veins.

_"They're at it again! Don't fuck in public!"_

I could hear Conner's smartass remark as I flew past, Eric hot on my heels and drawing closer with every step.

I made a mental note to prank the shit out of him before I raced down the next tunnel, my booted feet barely skimming the ground as I bounded forward. I could hear the thrilling thud of Eric's boots drawing closer. I chanced a glance back over my shoulder, yelping and throwing my head back in laughter as I ran faster, not expecting him to be so close.

Behind me, Eric's hard gaze warmed the slightest bit before the dark gleam was back and he poured on the speed, literally slamming me into his bedroom door, spinning me around and devouring my mouth in the next second.

For a moment, my attention drifted back to the kiss Jett and I shared earlier in the day before my mind was dragged back to Eric when he fumbled at the door, opening it and pushing it open.

I nearly fell to the ground but he yanked me tightly against him, plunging his tongue into my mouth and wrapping it around my own, making me melt against him, boneless. Moaning, I opened my mouth wider and tilted my head to the side, twisting my fists in his soft blonde hair, trying to get impossibly closer.

"Come on, Paz." Eric growled into my mouth, yanking my shirt over my head, lowering his head to my neck where he latched on eagerly, sucking hard enough I am sure to have a hickey there tomorrow. "Show me your fire. Show me how much you want this- ah, fuck!" He swore violently when I abruptly plunged my hands into his jeans, wrapping my hands around him and tugging almost too hard.

"Is this enough fire?" I panted into his mouth, moving my hands as quickly as his jeans would allow me.

"I can think of another way you could show me your fire." Eric cocked a blonde eyebrow at me in challenge and I held his gaze before I dropped to my knees.

Yanking his belt off, I pushed his jeans off, eagerly leaning forward and nipping at the skin above his waistband as he wound his hands through my hair, tugging harshly. Grinning, I shoved his black boxers down, the length of him standing at attention, throbbing and weeping.

Blowing lightly on the tip, I watched as the muscles on his abdomen rippled and tensed, much to my approval.

"Don't tease." Eric growled, looking down at me with dark eyes. Shrugging mentally, I leaned forward and engulfed him in my mouth, swallowing as much of him down as I could, dragging a rough, deep groan out of his chest as he threw his head back, widening his stance. "Mother fucker!" He swore and I slowly dragged my head back, letting him slide out of my mouth as I swirled my tongue around the tip of him.

"Not quite." I purred teasingly, leaning forward and taking him in my mouth again. Swearing loudly, Eric tensed up even further as I brought him closer to the edge, flexing my throat around him and twisting my hands at the base, unable to completely take him in my mouth. As it was, I was finding it difficult to breathe because my jaw isn't wide enough for him.

Eric didn't seem to mind though, if the guttural groans spilling freely from him was any indication.

"That-that's enough." Eric yanked me up to my feet, plundering my mouth with reckless abandon, our teeth clicking together as we stumbled backwards, heading blindly for his bedroom. I tugged at Eric's shirt and he broke away just long enough to tear his shirt off, wrapping his arms around my waist and lifting me up with effortless ease that had more heat flooding through me.

Fuck, there is just something so sexy about a man that can lift me without any visible effort.

Kissing Eric with renewed passion, I arched closer to him, our bare skin heating up and making me feel as though we are burning up together. Biting down on his lip, I broke away, gasping for breath as he dropped me on the bed, kicking his boxers off and crawling forward, undoing the button on my pants and sliding them off in record speed.

In his eagerness, he flung them onto his dresser, knocking something down with a crash.

We both froze for a moment before I burst into laughter and he smirked, blue eyes glinting playfully down at me before dropping his weight down on me.

"Ooph! You oaf!" I teased, shoving playfully at his shoulders before running my nails lightly over the golden skin. Eric's skin rippled underneath my hands, almost like he was a cat, arching into my touch. Giggling, I wrapped my legs around his waist and pushed.

I know there is no way I could have flipped him over on my own but I ignored that, settling on top of him with an impish grin, slowly grinding down. Eric's breath whooshed out of him and he gripped my waist in his large palms, guiding me into a quicker, harsher motion atop him.

Fire raced through my blood and I whimpered, arching my back and sinking my nails into his chest. That prompted a pleased purr from him and I dropped my head back, biting my lower lip.

"What's the matter, Paz? No words for me tonight?" Eric taunted and I started swearing angrily at him, trying to pull away. "Fuck no, you aren't leaving me!" Eric snapped and flipped me over roughly, shoving my underwear down.

"Eric!" I snapped, shoving at him again but my protest were overridden when he slipped two fingers in me and I melted, purring into his mouth at the attention of his hand. "Fuck, _yes_." I hissed, rolling my hips to match the motion of his hands.

"Fuck, I love it when you fuck my fingers." Eric grinned, thrusting harder and simultaneously using his thumb to rub my clit, the soft, fluttery coil in my stomach pulling taut and nearly snapping before he pulled his fingers out.

"What the hell?" I snarled and Eric grinned, gripping himself and pumping a couple of times before lowering himself, probing at me. I met his gaze fiercely, my mouth falling open and my head dipping back as I clung to him, my body welcoming the intrusion and the wave of sparking pleasure that accompanied it.

"Holy fuck, I had almost forgotten just how _tight _you are. It's like your body is _clinging _to my cock and won't let go." Eric groaned in my ear, his breathing ragged as he finally bottomed out. I fought against his grip, feeling like I am in heat, on fire as I wait for him to actually fuck me.

"Eric," I whimpered, arching impossibly closer to him. "Stop waiting and just give me what I need!" I snapped angrily.

"Make me." Eric retorted smugly, twitching inside me and sending a wave of arousal through me. I panted, clamping down on him, an instinctive spasm that made his grip tighten on my wrists. Cursing darkly in my ear, Eric pulled back the slightest bit, the friction sending pleasure rippling through my body.

"_Please_, Eric?" I whispered hotly in his ear, sucking wetly on his ear before releasing it and flicking my tongue just under the lobe, sucking _hard._

"_Sonofabitch_!" The explosive growl reverberated through him and Eric hauled back before slamming into me, out of control and wild with the need to fuck and fuck _hard._

"Yes, more, harder, more!" I gasped, arching further into him, gripping his waist with my thighs, nearly trembling with relief as the stimulation made sweet fire race through me, burning through my limbs until I was short of breath and _so close _but not there yet.

"Come on, baby," Eric snarled, snapping his hips forward and reaming into me, driving himself as far as he could go. Sweat glistened on his skin, his blonde hair wild from where I raked my nails through it before, his blue eyes nearly frantic as he worked our bodies. "Come on, Paz."

Working his hips in a slow, twisting forward motion, Eric watched with unveiled male pride and satisfaction as my mouth fell open in a silent cry as I clamped down on him, the coil snapping and sending bursts of color across my eyelids, a sharp burst of pain on my shoulder heightening the pleasure.

The only thing is…Eric hasn't come yet.

"Eric, flip us over." I panted and he growled, pulling out and flipping us over before sliding in, the tight grip on my hips and the intense concentration in his steel blue eyes showing just how intent he is on getting his sexual gratification tonight. "Let me take control." I coached and he froze, glaring up at me, his strong jaw flexing before he gave a curt nod and sat up, easily lifting me as he slid back until he was resting against the headboard.

Nodding with satisfaction, I wrapped my hand around him, slowly lowering myself down and wincing at the sensitive flash that went through me before I slid all the way down, the new angle letting him hit new places. Humming low in my throat, I rolled my head back, planting my palms in his pecs and slowly lifting myself before dropping back down.

"That's not going to cut it for me tonight, Paz." Eric barked commandingly and I paused, staring him right in the eye as I squeezed him with my muscles, slowly working my body back down on him. Eric threw his head back, the muscles in his throat flexing as he clenched my hips in his hands.

Smirking, I began to speed up, watching the expressions on his face carefully as I rode him with increasing speed. Dropping down and slowly dragging myself back up, I raked my nails down his chest at the same time and was rewarded with something resembling a whimper escaping Eric before his dark eyes snapped open and he lunged forward, knocking me backwards and ramming into me.

Cussing violently, he slammed into me, determined to drag every last drop of arousal out of me.

Arching into Eric, I cried out as he canted into me over and over again, dragging the fiery passion out of me until I felt the coil tighten again and bit down harshly on his shoulder. Swearing, Eric pistoned back in, brushing a part of me that sent more bursts of color over my eyes, only this time, it was building into something bigger and more explosive than before.

"Cum for me, baby. Fuck, Paz, you pretty pussy feels so good wrapped around me. Give me some more- yes!" The stream of filthy words spilling from his mouth was the last thing I needed and I snapped tight around him, moaning out as my vision darkened, the sudden rush of pleasure too much and I…

**_~Battle-Scars~_**

…waking up with a gasp, I trembled as fear lit through me, unchecked and untamed. The fear wasn't stopping to take into account that I had already faced this fear and I should be over it by now. The fear didn't stop to take into account that...I may be strong physically but mentally? Emotionally? I am battle scarred and not all of them are physical.

_-you're never going to amount to anything, worthless daughter of mine!-_

A gasping sob escaped me and…I…I will never admit it but…he was _right there_. The looming, sleeping form of Eric should have sent me running to my room but I was so _scared_…I'm so tired of being scared…I don't want to be afraid anymore, why do I still have to be?

I stifled a sob, flinching as a memory of the dream burned through my mind.

_-how dare you live your own life?! Pathetic and weak little _girls _do not live on their own!-_

Maybe it does make me weak but…I couldn't be alone right now and I…I rolled over, carefully looking at Eric's face, biting down on my knuckles in an effort to hold back the sobs. He looked at odds even in his sleep, a small wrinkle between his blonde eyebrows and I leaned forward, slowly, carefully laying myself across him.

The touch of his warm skin against mine make me shake even harder, the silent, warm tears streaming down my face as I muffled my cries in my arm.

Then he stirred, draping his arm across my form and twisting forward, a sleepy mumble escaping him as he wrapped himself around me. My gasping sob caught in my throat and I twisted carefully to look up at him, peering at his face.

…he looked peaceful, the wrinkle between his eyebrows smoothing out, the small scowl to his mouth softened into a gentle pout. His blonde hair had fallen forward, shadowing over one of his eyes, brushing his nose. He twitched, curling tighter around me, his large, muscled arms holding me close as he slept on, his heart beating with a slow, steady, comforting rhythm in my ear.

…and suddenly….I didn't feel like I needed to cry anymore.

A calm, peaceful, sleepy feeling swept over me and I sighed, melting further into him and allowing my eyes to drift close….

….I woke up a few hours later, disoriented and not remembering what had happened to me. All I knew was I was draped over Eric, a clear violation of our rules.

A nameless sort of fear flashed through me and I started to detangle myself from him. A sleepy mumble alerted me to Eric waking up and I froze before forcing myself to breathe deeply and evenly, faking being asleep.

He jerked the slightest bit and even though I couldn't see him, I could feel his gaze boring into me. I was laying across his chest, my head tucked in the hollow between his neck and his shoulder, one of my arms cradling the back of his head, my other arm wrapped around his, our legs tangled together.

I waited with bated breath for him to mutter a curse and shove me off. I waited for him to wake me up and force me to move. I waited for him…and all he did was sigh and drop his head back down, the evening of his breath telling me when he fell back asleep…without a word or even a mummer of protest.

I laid there, my eyes wide open and my heart numb in my chest.

…why hadn't he made me move?

How often did he wake up like this?

…why did it make my heart hurt and swell at the same time?

I waited as long as I could, silently denying my own accusations against myself that I felt safe and warm and comfortable wrapped around Eric like this. Once I felt he was deeply asleep enough, I slowly removed myself, immediately feeling cold.

Rolling over, I curled into the wall, pulling the blanket up over my shoulder and hiding my face beneath it, a burning in my eyes as I forced myself to stay still and not move any closer to him.

I felt chilled and shivered, curling up in a tiny, lonely little ball against the wall…just wishing…wishing I didn't have to be this way. Wishing I could be normal and…and love someone…_without _being scared but…I wouldn't be me if I wasn't.

I am scared of falling in love and the worst part is…I think Eric may already have started to fall…and I don't think I will be that far behind him.

* * *

Veera98 - Don't worry, Paz will bet better at some parts of her control...and her father is just a nuisance but a necessary one so he's gonna be sticking around for a little while. The whole Paz, Izayah, Raven thing is just primed to exploded and I'm excited to finish writing it out. I'm glad you like the banter, it's fun to write out, I always have a huge grin on my face when I write it whether it is Paz and Jett or Paz and her friends. I like her dimples and can you imagine Eric's reaction to being hit by them? He's never seen them before...I thank you for what you said about Amity and Johanna is a relief because I really wanted to do that scene to do justice to cannon. Ellie's bro...I'm excited for that. I changed this story from one year before Tris to two years before Tris because I wanted to be able to show Paz eventually training the new recruits! (I'm dying for when that actually happens.) Once again, thank you so much for your awesome review!

Selyse Newman - Ha, thank you so much for your review!

mmelody6 - ;)


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